Arthur waited for my first strike this time. With initial hesitation, as I tried to think of a way forward, I decided in the end just to see what would happen next. I stepped forward and swung my sword towards his upper torso. Purposefully I had come forward too far and over stretched, but instead of side stepping me as expected to give him a chance to gain a hit back, he blocked. Staring at me directly at me he used his sword to push my hand and sword away and out to the side as I let him. I was open for a hit, he could have used the back of his sword or just kicked me or both as I purposefully took longer than usual to bring my sword back to my centre and close the opening. In spite of this clear chance he did not take it!
He just stood there!
Staring right at me!
“What is going on?” He asked slowly, seriously and strangely with more authority than I had heard from him before now.
Our swords floated just in front of us, both on our guard and ready to continue, but we both held back.
“I could ask…..” I began awkwardly, but stopped as Arthur decided to continue talking instead and I knew it was best to let him.
“Something keeps telling me you are acting all strange, despite never having fought with you before. It’s not right. What are you doing?” He asked and briefly paused before asking the genuine question that had waited behind the stare of disbelief. “Are you trying to lose?”
He dropped his guard and his sword fell away, utterly against all the normal rules.
“No,” I stated as confidently as I could and pulling a face.
“Did you lose the last fight on purpose?” He pressed on.
“Don’t be daft, course I didn’t.”
Arthur then surprised me, with a shake of his head he suddenly stabbed his sword into the ground and without looking at me, marched off. I guessed he did not believe me as I was just left standing there.
“What happened now?” Bedivere called over from the side with equal surprise or maybe it was more of a stain on his level of patience, like a father figure suddenly exasperated by his children misbehaving. I ignored him and looked to Arthur instead.
“Arthur!” I called, “Wait!”
I chased the back of Arthur, dropping my sword and tearing off my helmet and gloves.
“Leave me be, you can go Tor.” Arthur answered; well in fact it was a demand. He kept walking, taking determined strides and not looking back.
“Please wait, let me explain…” I insisted.
I reached out to grip his arm to stop him, but this was a mistake. He did stop, but also whirled round and with both hands quickly against my chest shoved me back.
“You just lied to me, again!” He yelled and was about to pushed me back again but changed his mind and walked away and pleaded to the sky. “I just need at least one person to be honest with me, just one!”
I decided then he needed….no, he was going to listen.
As my plan had failed then he was going to know why I had lied, no matter how upset he might be. There was no way I was going to just leave without him knowing that I was only losing for him and for his reign that he had not even started yet! I had enough of all the cuts and aches over the last couple of days, Aries being a pig, Clegis renting out my bed! I had suffered and he King Arthur was to blame for it, so he owed me time to listen!
Without much other thought I charged after him and cut him off this time by standing immediately in his path.
“Now look here, I…” I attempted again, facing him.
Except this time Arthur had also had enough and his right hand flew towards me. I exhaled with a yelp as it was a still armoured hand and landed in my side just beyond the protection given by the front breastplate I still worn. Tripping backwards I reached out and took Arthur down with me. The heat, the fight and just rage at the whole situation we found ourselves surfaced for both of us and we rolled along the ground wrestling for a position to just knock the life out of each other. I did not care who he was or was going to be, this was forgotten as found myself holding him down with one arm while trying to punch him with my free hand. While Arthur held my arm aloft to stop me punching him, he also kicked me hard and thrashed about to dislodge me. It was next to no time before Bedivere was pulling us apart, but enough to allow us to gain a both a few good hits with far least skill needed than the sword practice had involved.
“Now that’s enough, end it.” He ordered. It was a voice of reason that somehow made it through the red mist that had clouded my head.
I was dragged up and Arthur just sat there. Both breathing hard and red faced, I was held by the shoulder for a moment, before I shrugged Bedivere’s one hand off me with a groan.
Still angry, but knew he was right and we were done. “I’m fine.” I stated blunted.
“Do I look like I care? You both need to cool off, try the river for a bit and get out of my sight and everyone else’s for that matter. No arguments while I get rid of this lot.” Bedivere instructed in that tone that you never questioned. “Well, go on, move!”
Bedivere certainly did not seem to care what the fight might have been about, it was just like him not to want to know. Waiting a moment more to ensure we did not start pounding each other again he turned and went to send away the crowd and deal with the likes of Kay and Aries. They had not yet intervened which again in itself was mystery. I dropped my breastplate to the ground and peeled off the tough hardened tunic. In the corner of my eye I saw Arthur do the same. My own clothes underneath were soaked in sweat and I reflected that perhaps it might have been better to had removed my own thin tunic before the match. On the other hand any protection no matter how threadbare it had become was good to keep.
Without a word, other a look of disgust aimed at me, Arthur dropped the rest of his armour and stormed off towards the river. After a short pause I followed, on route I pulled off my tunic over my head and discarded it or at least what was left of it on the ground. While I had gained no more holes in the cloth, the ones I had already had been made worst as a hardened leather protection on top had rubbed and stretched them. I had to admit it was now beyond my repair skills. The relief of escaping the hot sticky armour was welcome and had I not been self conscious of the numbers of people around and likely to still be watching I would have lost my leggings as well. I partly jumped and climbed into the water, the river being tidal was at its highest. The water was refreshingly cold and for parts of me not submerged I quickly gained a heightened sense of remaining warm spring day in complete conflict with the ice cold shiver that spread over the rest of me at the same time.
Arthur had already waded out to waist height. As fed up as I felt and still with my head pounding with adrenalin I knew I needed to speak to him. I made my way towards him and very soon we both stood next to each other, in silence for some time before I decided to break it.
“I….” I started.
“No.” Arthur cut in sharply
“No?” I repeated
“No,” Arthur confirmed and it was a good few minutes before he continued, “I don’t need your sympathy or charity. I don’t need someone who thinks they’re doing me a favour by attempting to make me look better than I am. That’s what you were doing, I’m right yes?”
I nodded. “But you’re going to be the king!”
“I don’t care bout that,” Arthur dismissed and more animated this time he turned to me, “I don’t care if I lose a practice or a game because a better man won. Well, I might be annoyed by it, but at least I know I will have no false impression of myself, that people are being honest with me. And I know I will work harder to ensure it’s me wining next time. If this makes me a different king, maybe, or maybe less of a king I don’t know.” He sighed and continued more calmly. “Last night I started to think about it all, this time clearly and on my own. What you said about your father I thought about that and everything else. You said you would like to have been king so you could restore true knight values, you know, a real knight you said. Instead had you become king, in the t
ime it would have taken you to get there you didn’t know who you would be. Well I’m going to be king tomorrow and I’m who I am right now. And I do know what I want, truth and honestly. I want all to be treated fairly, which includes the king subject to the same rules. I want people to have the right to a proper hearing if needed to find truth, rights not to fear their king if they question him. Trust even! Then despite thinking you might hold these same things true, you lied to me just now.”
If I was honest with myself his words were amazing, if he intended to inspire me it worked and if he intended to verbally punch me in the stomach at the same time then that worked too. I was numb and it wasn’t just the water, it was regret.
“I was trying to help,” I said quietly, “they needed to see their king win.”
“I don’t care, I don’t care about them, let them be an individual person and have no fear to step up for themselves and let them make the judgement and question my skills themselves.”
“You would be beaten in their eyes before you had even started!” I tried to argue back.
“And how does a clearly stronger fighter purposefully losing look? Not so good either I say! Perhaps worst than had I lost and then been given the chance to be gracious about it!”
I had to admit that was a good point, but kept this to myself. “You were angry at losing, I could tell.”
“Maybe I was, I am,” He admitted, “but what offended me most was despite being discovered you still lied!”
Arthur’s statement for me was the final blow and I was done and knew he was right. “I guess that was stupid.” I agreed dropping my head.
Arthur let a sigh. “I know you meant well, but I need honest people.” He said with an almost hurt tone of voice. “I’m fed up with lies and half truths; it seems to be my life right now. I need a promise, your oath that you will always be honest and tell me the truth even if you think I might hate it or not.”
Pressure of expectation was focused on me and I had to look up to meet his glaze.
I was at once more serious than I had ever been, truly so, which was a rare thing for me and I nodded. “You have my word, your highness.” I promised sincerely.
Saying your highness seemed slightly wrong still, but oddly I said it without any mockery or in jest this time.
Arthur took a deep sigh and in the pause the last of any remaining anger between us disappeared. “Come on, don’t know about you, but I’m freezing now.”
My smile returned as Arthur had at once dispersed the awkwardness and formalness of the moment.
“Definitely am, let’s go and you can tell more about how good a fighter I am.” I baited and made for my escape before getting splashed.
“How about I give you another black eye instead!” He called after me with a laugh.
We pulled ourselves out of the water and headed inland. While many of the crowd had left, some remained in hope of more entertainment in the distance. We just ignored them. Aries had gone I immediately noticed. Kay had remained fulfilling his apparent new role as loyal protector. Arthur gave me a sideways glance and roll of his eyes, enough to say I better go and bye before breaking away to join his brother.
Bedivere gave no acknowledge of our return, but the expectation to report back to him was like a fog on the field and you were drawn in to him as if he were a beacon. Strangely, feeling like I had lost a battle with Arthur, but feeling good for it, I was ready for another fight.
“What was this, why the match, why not batons?” I called a little aggressively as I approached him.
Bedivere ignored me turning away, a surprising move from a man who could be so unmoved. I quicken my pace and caught up with him, my hand reached out and gripped his shoulder.
He stopped and looked down on the hand, which immediately worried me. “I suggest you think about what you are doing." He suggested quietly and with a threatening undertone.
Instantly I dropped my hand away. “Sorry.” I added.
“I didn't mean the hand.” Bedivere said turning back to me. “Look Tor this is a king, these people are powerful lords way above the likes of us. If you get yourself involved think about it carefully.”
“I’m only trying to help Art,” I protested, “and besides I was ordered to be here, had no choice bout that.”
“Take some friendly advice, watch your back and look several moves ahead like Arthur does. With a bit of confidence and practice Arthur will easily surpass you because he sees ahead and you don’t look far enough, despite your skill.”
I was lost, did he mean in fighting or meant when dealing with Arthur and the nobles. “I don’t understand.” I said frowning.
“Good, it’s the best way and I also suggest you keep to saying his full name.” He snapped and started walking away again.
“Why no batons then, why a match?” I asked again, pushing for answers knowing it was dangerous.
“Try asking why did you try to lose?” Bedivere called back without looking, only it was a question not an answer, just a clue and he left me standing there wondering.
My attempts at failure were clear to him as well I concluded and so Arthur was right. All because I wanted to help Arthur win and be seen in the right light, yet this answer did not explain everything. Aries had said I had been chosen to practice with Arthur, did they think I would lose on purpose? Is this why Aries stood back with Kay throughout the match? I could not make sense of it. My head hurt from thinking, instead I needed to think about something else and my thoughts drifted to envisage the mysterious woman of the halls for a moment before I shock my head from such foolery.
She was just another problem and instead with the afternoon almost over I decided I had one last important job to do and forgetting everyone else this task was for just me. I ran off and searched the field for the remains of my tunic and headed back to the town.
In a short time I stood before a stall. Markets use to be weekly events in the summer and monthly if possible over winter, but a daily market had quickly established in the past few days. I was now wearing my old tunic again, but was very much aware of its poor state. It would be no help in bargaining with the owner of this stall, he could see for himself the level of my desperate need for the newer clothes he had for sale. I could hope for pity.
Prepared I had already gathered the precious little coin I had left from its hiding place near Clegis’s. It was always best to hide things even when guests were not around. I knew I had a reasonable amount compared to some and not to spend it had become a test of my resolve over time.
My remaining wealth had a purpose as rent for what I called home. Sadly by needing new cloth I sacrificed time in the hayloft and replaced it instead with time in the fort in the future. Perhaps, if was lucky, I would be made a knight before my coin end or at least I could hope it run out before the summer when the night stars could be my roof and warm earth my bed for a time rather than the halls of the fort. Of course there was the unthinkable, I was going to remain a squire forever and this debate was futile as it was only a matter of time before I would be forced to move out of the hayloft. Living in hope of knighthood, again I push the fear of being just a squire away and cursed the number of times these thoughts continued to plague me especially of late.
A collection of grey, otherwise known as poorly bleached or not as clean as you would expect, clothes dominated the stall. I knew this was what I should be looking at, but I found I could not bring myself to rummage around and hunt out the best of a bad lot. I wanted something more, just for once, and I had already spotted a dark red coloured short sleeved tunic hanging to the back of the stall.
I knew I had to lose some time in the hayloft by just being here to replace old clothes and it was going to happen occasionally, but to have more than I needed was the temptation. I always underestimated the time things would last, certainly I had not accounted for recent events that helped the deterioration of my tunic to an early grave. Then again, if I was going to be a squire forever then I might as well take what
I really wanted.
The dark red tunic would not leave my eyes, but it was short sleeved and I would need something else as well. A long sleeve linen shirt for underneath was extra cost, extra time. I had played out this scene before, the last time I needed new, well newer, clothes and the time before that. Each time my resolve saved me.
“Well you can’t stand there forever, sun setting soon and time to pack up.” The stall owner nudged helpfully, but not in the tone of his voice. His impatience was clear and his suspicions always close to hand.
I decided. All I needed was a single long sleeve tunic, hot in the summer heat, but cheap and practical.
“That red one and that shirt too.” I stated, my own words leapt out and surprised me completely contrary to my own intent.
What had happened to resolve! This time it had failed to stop me. I did not need real clothes, new cloths, status and yet the man was reaching out for them.
Status! Perhaps Aries was right and I had been around nobility too much, but it was too late now. Any fight going on in my head was not affecting my hand which passed over the money and took the little change back and then the clothes. As I walked away I knew I was supposed to feel guilty. I had just betrayed resolve, but at least I had not lied to it only out manoeuvred it. Instead I felt pleased and for a while at least I no longer felt so fed up.
I returned to my now decreased tenancy home to hide again my remaining inheritance. Having managed to miss him earlier Clegis found me this time and he approached as I just made it back to the hayloft. For him it was perhaps a break from the ale house to seek some substance before returning I assumed.
“Ah there he is!” He exclaimed to no one other than himself, but loud enough for all to heard.
I stopped and rolled my eyes knowingly, before turning to greet him. “Hello Clegis.” I answered him dryly.
The Knight Behind the Pillar Page 14
