“It’s fine, really, let’s just get it over with.”
Luke looks at me with a pained expression on his face.
“That’s not what I meant. It came out wrong,” I say. A few awkward seconds pass, and I’m sure they can hear the pounding of my heart. Suddenly, Luke leans in and our lips touch lightly. Nothing else is touching, just two sets of lips. You could probably fit another person in the middle, there’s so much space between our bodies.
The kiss starts out sweet and innocent. Just two people satisfying a bet. Luke’s lips are velvety smooth and plump, and I think to myself that this isn’t too bad. I may have been forced to kiss him, but even if I wasn’t, I think I’d still enjoy it. Then something happens. The kiss begins to intensify as the distance between us closes. I feel Luke’s hand rest on my waist as he pulls me closer. Our chests press together and my heart goes into over drive. I slowly ease my hands up and run my fingers through the hair on the back of his head. It feels as silky as it looks and I give it a little tug. He lets a small moan escape from between our lips, which ignites my body in places that shouldn’t be responding.
“Hell, yeah, that’s hot!” Cole yells, reminding me we’re not alone.
We quickly pull apart, both of us breathing heavily. I let my hands fall from Luke’s hair, but his hand lingers on my waist a few moments longer. We remain fixed, gazing into each other’s eyes, a million thoughts racing through my mind as I stare into his. I’m kind of glad I came out tonight. I will my heart to slow to a normal rate.
“Now that was a kiss,” Cole says, slapping Luke on the back. “I didn’t know you had it in you, bro.” Luke slips his hand from my waist and steps back, allowing the distance to come between us again, a shy smile on his face.
“Come on, Alex, let’s go get some sodas,” Anna says, taking my hand and pulling me from Luke, but my eyes stay fixed on him. Cole and Luke start setting up the table for another game as Anna and I head to the bar, and I force myself to draw my gaze away. Butterflies swarm around in my stomach as I make my way through the crowd. I rub my fingers across my tingling lips. That was some kiss, I think, a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.
“OH, MY GOD, ALEX! YOU really got into that kiss.” Anna squeezes my arm and grins at me. “You two have totally got to get together. You guys would make the cutest couple!”
“I don’t think so, Anna. It was just a bet,” I tell her, risking a glance back at Luke; he’s busy talking with Cole, seemingly unaffected.
“If you say so.” Anna giggles. “I’m gonna run to the bathroom. Order us all some sodas and I’ll be right back.” Anna heads in the opposite direction as I walk up to the counter. I order four Cokes and sit down on one of the sticky bar stools to wait.
“That was some kiss,” a guy says from behind me in an eerily familiar tone, but I can’t quite decipher who it is. It’s as if he’s trying to disguise his voice, and doing a shitty job of it. I start to turn around, but he grabs my stool, stopping me. He leans in close to my ear and I can smell the stench of his cheap cologne mixed with body sweat. My stomach churns as he whispers, “I don’t know how you live with yourself after what you did, but I promise you this, from here on out, your life won’t be so enjoyable. I am going to make it a living hell for what you did!”
Who the hell is this guy? And what does he think he knows about me? My heart gallops uncontrollably and my skin prickles with warning. What do I do? God, this can’t be happening, not here, not now. I try in vain to turn around again, but his grip on the stool is just too strong.
“I hope you enjoy the rest of your night, Alex,” he hisses, and his lip grazes my ear. A chill shoots down my spine and my body goes numb. I want to turn around and punch this asshole in the face, but I can’t seem to make my body obey my mind. It’s like someone has cut the cord that connects to my brain. I’m paralyzed.
Blood thrums in my ears, drowning out the sounds around me, then, suddenly, I realize the creep’s gone. It takes a few seconds for me to respond and get my bearings, and when I’m finally able to make myself move, I turn on the stool and notice the door opening, allowing the moonlight to cast a shadow on Tyler’s departing figure.
“Alex….” Anna’s voice catches me off guard. I jump and fall off the stool, barely bracing myself against the bar before crashing to the ground.
“Oh, my God,” Anna manages to say through her hysterical laughter. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I tell her as I regain my balance and brush myself off with shaky hands, a little embarrassed, but mostly freaked out from my encounter. I hear the people gathered at the bar laughing at me, but I don’t care. I grab Anna’s hand and pull her outside into the muggy night air.
“What the hell, Alex?” Anna says jerking her hand away from me.
“I’m sorry, Anna, but something crazy happened while you were in the bathroom and I’m seriously freaking out right now.” Sweat is running down my back and the temperature in my face has risen a few hundred degrees; it’s practically on fire. I’ve got to get out of here.
“Lately, you’re ALWAYS seriously freaking out, Alex, but that’s no reason to drag me out here like some kind of mental person,” Anna says, turning to go back inside.
“Just listen, Anna, please.”
“Fine, Alex, what happened this time?” she asks, her irritation at me clear in her voice.
“Well, I was sitting at the bar and some guy came up to me and….” There’s no way I can tell her what Tyler, or whoever it was, said to me. She’ll start asking questions I can’t answer. I have to tell her something else. “He just…he made some crude remarks and tried making a pass at me.”
“Seriously, Alex? You dragged me out here because some creep made a pass at you? Get over yourself. Cole probably had one of his friends do that just to mess with you. You’ve really got to stop with all this. I don’t know what happened to you, but since that day, you’re different. You’re not yourself anymore. Let me know when the old Alex decides to come back because I liked her a lot more than this new paranoid version. I don’t even know why I invited you to come along.”
I suck in a sharp breath. I cannot believe Anna just said that to me. If she only knew the truth about everything maybe she would be more understanding. But I can’t tell her. I can’t tell anyone. I swallow a few times and blink rapidly to stop the tears from coming.
“Now, let’s go back inside, find Cole and Luke, and try to have some fun. Can you do that, Alex?” Anna doesn’t even try to hide the annoyance in her voice.
“Fine, let’s go back in,” I say, feeling defeated and all on my own.
“Hey, where’d you two go?” Cole asks as we walk back over to them. “And where are the sodas?”
“Oh, sorry, we completely forgot,” Anna says, cutting her eyes at me.
I feel the tears begin to well in my eyes but I force them away. Calm down and just take a deep breath, I tell myself. My hands start to tremble and I clasp them together tightly, hoping no one else notices. Despite what Anna says or how mad she gets at me, I know I’m not overreacting; I am more determined now than ever to prove it. And my first step will be to gather as much information as I can about Tyler.
“Hey,” a voice says from behind me, a set of strong hands clamping down painfully on my shoulders. I jerk away and let out a very girly scream.
“God, Alex, calm down. It’s just me.”
I turn to see my little brother Zack standing behind me, a group of his friends gathered around him. The attention of everyone in the pool hall is focused on me and my overreaction, laughter echoing throughout the building. My neck gets hot and heat rises into my cheeks. I look down to the floor, tears building rapidly in my eyes. I blink a few times and wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. Once I feel confident they are gone, I look back up, hoping the crowd’s attention is no longer centered on me.
“Sorry, Alex. Didn’t mea
n to scare you.” Zack says.
“It’s okay. You just caught me off guard.”
Anna steps up, bumping her hip into me. “What are you doing here, Zack?” Anna asks, rudely.
“We just stopped by to shoot a game of pool and grab some burgers. Is that a crime now?”
“I thought you were out running errands with Mom.”
“I was, but I asked her to drop me off here. What’s your problem, Anna?”
“I don’t have a problem.” Anna turns around, stomping over toward Cole and slipping her arm around his waist. “I think I’m gonna head home, wanna walk with me?” she asks Cole, ignoring the rest of us.
“Yeah, I’ll walk you home.” Anna and Cole head for the door, but Cole looks back over his shoulder and calls out to Luke and me, “You guys coming?”
“Yeah,” I answer for Luke. I am beyond ready to get out of here. “Bye, Zack, I’ll see you at home.”
I lower my head, avoiding eye contact with anyone as Luke and I head out the door, following Anna and Cole.
COLE AND LUKE WALK ANNA and me the six blocks to our house. Anna is riding on Cole’s back and they are singing some weird song about horses while Luke and I trail a few steps behind.
Luke grabs my arm and brings me to a halt about a block from my house. I look up at him and see the worry spread across his face. “Look, Alex, I’m sorry about earlier. You really didn’t have to go through with the bet,” Luke says, his cheeks blushing a bright red. I don’t recall ever seeing Jake blush. It’s kind of endearing that Luke’s concerned he may have made me feel uncomfortable.
“It’s fine, Luke,” I tell him, taking a moment to relish the memory of the kiss. Just thinking about his warm lips on mine sends my head spinning. I place my hand on his arm and look up into his eyes, willing him to kiss me again, to erase the anxiousness I have from my encounter at the bar earlier. The streetlight above us hits Luke’s eyes and I can see he wants to kiss me just as much as I want him to. He leans down and pulls me close, our lips only inches apart, my breaths quickening to match the fast beating of my heart.
“Hey, Alex, there’s a letter for you.”
We dash apart, Anna’s voice ruining the moment. Luke eases back, gives me that adorable crooked grin, and threads his fingers with mine.
“I’m coming!” I yell back, a little irritated, as Luke and I walk hand in hand the rest of the way to my house.
Luke and I arrive just as Anna starts ripping the envelope open.
“Excuse me,” I say, snatching it away from her. “I believe you said this is addressed to me.” I stick my tongue out at her. There’s no return address or stamp, obviously, it was delivered personally, by whom, I wonder. I don’t even know anyone in this town.
“Who sends letters? Hasn’t this moron ever heard of texting?” Anna asks. “Well, who’s it from, Alex? What does it say?” Anna leans over my shoulder, trying to peek. I cut my eyes at her and move to the side of the yard, away from prying eyes.
“Give me a minute,” I tell her, finally getting the envelope open. I pull out the paper nestled inside, then unfold it and read the words to myself first before I decide if I’m going to share it with the others.
I’m glad you had fun tonight.
But you better say your goodbyes.
It will all be over soon.
I can’t wait to see you again, Alex!
Don’t worry though, your torment will be over soon.
It’s only five lines, but that’s plenty. The note falls from my hand as I gasp in horror. I can feel all the color draining from my face.
“Who did this?” I ask, frantically looking around at all of them.
“What is it?” Anna asks, picking up the letter and reading it to herself. “All right, this isn’t funny,” she says unkindly. “Which one of you did this?”
Luke and Cole look at one another, their eyes displaying their confusion. Cole takes the letter from Anna and begins to read it out loud. I stand there in shock, my whole body trembling, even the hairs on my head seem to be quivering. I don’t want to hear it, but I can’t do anything to stop him from reading the words. I’m frozen in place, unable to move or speak.
“Wow, this is pretty effed up, man,” Cole says to no one in particular. “I love a good prank, Anna, but I’d never take it this far, especially not with you or your sister. Whoever did this needs some serious therapy,” he says, waving the letter around.
Anna snatches the paper out of his hand and shoves it in her purse.
“Ow, Anna. Be careful. You just gave me a papercut.” Cole sucks on his injured finger, but not for long. Anna snaps her eyes to his, as if daring him to say something else, and he instantly stops his whining.
“Alex, I’m sure it’s just a joke,” Anna says. “A bad one, a very inappropriate one, but a joke nonetheless, and when I find out who did it, I’m gonna kick their stupid ass. You hear me, Alex?”
I hear her, but I can’t respond. My body is shaking, trembling with fear. A weird electric buzz vibrates through my brain. The world is stopped and yet, somehow, it’s spinning faster and faster. I’m frozen in time. I try to reach for Anna, but I can’t move. Why is Anna going down a long tunnel, farther and farther away from me? I can’t even hear her now. What the…? A set of strong hands encircle my waist and then my world goes black.
I COME TO, UNAWARE OF how long I’ve been out, and feel fingers running through my hair. My head is cradled on someone’s lap, their legs strong and sturdy, but comfortable. I’m still a little groggy, so I try to focus on the hand—it has taken a break from my hair and is now resting above my forehead—and the voice of my sister rambling on.
“She’s been upset all day about something, and whatever it was, was really bugging her. I told her she was being irrational and that she needed to chill out and try to have some fun, but what if she really should be worried? I mean, who the hell sends a letter like that? Seriously, Cole, when I find out who did this, I’m going to hurt them. I’m going to take my foot and shove it so far up their….”
“Okay, Anna.” Cole interrupts her rant. “I know it’s messed up, but what can we do if we don’t know who sent the letter?” Both of their voices are coming from the other side of the room, so it’s obviously not either of them that’s supporting my head. God, I hope it isn’t Mom. I really don’t want to have to explain any of this to her.
“She told me this morning that that Tyler guy really creeped her out at the pool, and then he showed up at the bakery afterward…but he seems so innocent. I really don’t think he could do anything like this, could he?” Anna sounds genuinely upset.
“Tyler Carlson?” Luke asks. “That new guy with the limp? He’s a little strange, but I don’t think he’d do anything like this. I mean, what reason could he have?”
Luke’s voice comes from above me and I realize he is my makeshift pillow. How sweet, I think to myself. Luke’s so thoughtful. Suddenly, my brain sits upright, even if I can’t. Carlson? Is that Tyler’s last name? Tyler, shit…the letter. He has to be the one doing this. I slowly open my eyes and see Anna pacing the floor. She stops abruptly when she realizes I’m awake.
“Oh, my God, Alex,” she squeals, running toward me.
I try to sit up, but a pair of strong hands on my shoulders holds me down. I glance up and see Luke looking back at me with those deep green eyes full of concern and sadness.
“Alex, are you okay?” Anna asks, kneeling beside me.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I assure her as Luke squirms beneath me.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks.
“I’m fine, really. I just…I didn’t eat much today,” I lie and hope she doesn’t remember the two slices of pizza I had. “And I’ve been a little on edge and the letter…I just got a little dizzy, that’s all. Really, it’s no big deal. I’m fine. I promise.” I sit up with some assistance from Luk
e.
I’m not fine, but I can’t tell them that. I don’t want them to worry. Hell, I’m worried enough for all of us. I get up from the couch and make my way into the kitchen. My legs feel like Jell-O and I’m still a little shaky, but I don’t think anyone notices. I get a glass of water and drink it down in one greedy gulp. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand in a very unladylike manner. I stand in front of the sink and stare out into our murky backyard, struggling to settle my nerves and clear my mind. A cone of light from our neighbor’s yard falls on the birdbath under the maple tree, and I can almost see my hammock under the pine trees that line our property. What I wouldn’t give to be out there, reading on a sunny day, escaping reality, traveling off to some fantasy land with no worries.
I refill my water glass and raise it to my lips. An involuntary gasp escapes me. Something—or is it someone?—moves under the trees. My full glass slips from my hand and shatters in the sink.
THE NOISE OF MY SHATTERING glass brings Anna, Luke, and Cole barreling into the kitchen at full tilt. I’m standing there at the window, straining my eyes with all my might, peering into the darkness, praying it’s just my nerves, my over-active imagination that’s gotten the best of me, but no, there it is again, something moving, and not just something, but a someone. And he’s not just moving, he’s running away like a bat out of hell. He knows he’s been spotted. I try to scream. No sound’s coming out. I’m just standing there, shaking, trembling head to toe, my mouth open in a silent scream. I probably look like the freak in that Edvard Munch painting.
“What’s going on?” Anna asks, concern obvious in her voice. She stops and looks out the window, too, but whoever was there is now gone. I don’t want any of them to think I’m crazier than they already do. What do I say? How do I explain what just happened?
Grave Little Secrets Page 5
