“She lied? Are you serious? Why would a girl lie about something like that? Everyone would start calling her a slut.”
“I don’t know Trina, but I’d expect you, out of all people to believe me. I promise you, on every moment we’ve ever spent together. It's not true. I kissed her. She wanted more, and I said no.”
“Whether it’s true or not David, you’re still a hypocrite. Why can you go off kissing girls, but I can’t have one kiss with a boy I actually like? Stay here and wait for dad if you like, but I’m going back inside. Maybe Ben hasn’t been completely scared off.”
“Trina, please don’t.”
“I’m allowed to have boyfriends you know. Ben’s right – you don’t own me.”
It was painful watching her walk back towards the school buildings. How could I get her to understand how wrong Ben was for her without looking like a jealous wanker myself?
I watched until she was safely inside and then crossed the street to McDonalds to wait out the rest of the dance. A few other kids had abandoned the school dance as well and were over there eating and laughing. I went and ordered a meal and sat down with them.
“Hey David!” a girl named Loren yelled a little too enthusiastically to me from across the table. “Is it true what Cassie’s saying?”
I shook my head, “No. She's full of shit. She tried, and I said no. I didn’t want to fuck her against the side of the school building.”
“Told you she was lying!” Loren’s best friend Erin yelled to her. “No girl’s first time is that awesome.”
I laughed, suddenly feeling that little bit lighter. Finally, someone believed me.
***
Trina’s dad picked us up from the dance and drove us home. We barely said a word to each other the entire ride home, and even Mr Mahoney noticed something was going on.
“Bad time?” he asked, glancing at us in the rear-view mirror.
“David can just be a real jerk sometimes,” Katrina said, folding her arms tightly over her chest and staring out the window.
Mr Mahoney met my eyes in the rear-view mirror and raised his eyebrows in question. I shrugged my shoulders and looked out the window on my side, just wanting this night to be over.
“Thanks for the ride Mr Mahoney,” I said softly, as I opened the door to get out of the car. “See you later Trina.” She briefly met my eyes before looking straight ahead, effectively giving me the cold shoulder. Sighing, I closed the door and went inside to where my mother was waiting up for me.
“How was it?” she asked when she heard the door click shut.
I walked over to where she was sitting watching tv and sat next to her with an exaggerated sigh. “It was shit.”
“David! Language!”
“Sorry.”
“You want to talk about it?”
For a while, I didn’t speak, not sure how my mum would take hearing what had gone down that night. I was risking her never letting me out of the house again if she reacted badly.
Needing to get it off my chest and have someone close to me believe me, I took a deep breath and started. “Everyone thinks I had sex with Cassie Green.”
“They think?”
I then told her the PG version of what happened between us, and how the rumour went crazy. Then, I told her how I reacted when I saw Katrina with Ben.
“You dragged her out of there?” she asked incredulously. “Oh David, that was way out of line. I know you love Katrina- ”
“I don’t love her!” I interrupted, angry that she was jumping to conclusions.
“David. Let me finish. I was meaning that you love her like family and feel very protective of her. But you can’t protect her from everyone. She needs to make her own mistakes with boys – every girl does.”
“I just don’t want to hear them talking about her like they do the other girls.”
“Then maybe it’s time you got some better friends.”
Later that night, I was lying in bed, tossing and turning because I couldn’t sleep. Eventually, I gave up and put my clothes and shoes on and climbed out my window. Ever since I first went to her window the night that my dad left, I’d gone back whenever I was really troubled about something. She always made me feel better.
This time I wasn’t going there for me, I was going there for her. I needed to apologise.
“What are you doing here David? Haven’t you done enough?” she asked through the screen.
“I’m sorry Trina. Let me in. I just want to talk.”
Reaching up, she twisted the hinges that locked the screen in place and popped it out for me to catch. I placed it on the ground beside me and climbed through with a tumble. She was pissed at me, so I guess she didn’t want to help.
“I hope you’re not planning on sleeping here.”
“No, I plan on talking.”
“Why don’t you want me to have a boyfriend?”
“I do Trina. It’s not about that – it’s just…” I sat on her bed and recounted the whole evening for her. Telling her what happened with Cassie and then how Brian had told me about how all the guys were trying to get lucky because the girls were giving away their virginity. “In the same breath he told me Ben was with you, and I guess I just freaked out. You don’t hear how those guys talk Trina – they’re filthy.”
“And you’re friends with them?”
I just shrugged in response. Knowing that the only real reason I was friends with those guys was because they were the male equivalent of Trina’s group, and it meant that we both got invited to the same parties.
“Has Ben actually said that he was going ‘after’ me?”
I shook my head and scratched it sheepishly. “They’re ah, actually under the threat of death to stay away from you.”
The moment I saw her mouth drop open I apologised. “I was just trying to keep you safe. Plus, I guess it’s kind of like hearing people talk about your sister. It made me feel weird.”
Sighing, she sat down on her bed, sliding back until she was pressed against the wall. “I believe you, by the way – about Cassie. She’s been so jealous that Mara knew about sex, and she didn’t. It’s weird. It's like a few of the girls have all decided that just because they’re sixteen and legally allowed to have sex now that they need to give up their virginity.”
“Well, lucky you’re still fifteen then huh?”
“Whatever David, I’m not giving it up. I’m not stupid you know. I know that everyone will talk about it and to be honest, I’m nowhere near ready. I have like zero experience with boys. I'm not about to leap from first kiss to having sex in a few months. So you can relax. Alright?”
“Trina. That was not your first kiss.” I repeated softly.
“That doesn’t count David. You said it yourself, it’s like I’m your sister. It doesn’t count.”
“Well I count it as my first kiss.”
She slid forward on the bed and slipped her arms around my neck, sighing as she gripped me tightly. Hugging her back, I inhaled deeply, taking great comfort in the smell of her hair – I don’t know if the smell is just her or her shampoo, but it smelt like home to me.
Pulling away she looked into my eyes. “Can we make a deal here and now?”
“Sure,” I replied, drawing out the word suspiciously.
“We stay out of each other’s relationships. I can’t have you going all big brother on me every time you see me with a guy. I already have a big brother and he’s protective enough all on his own. You are my best friend, and I want it to be that way forever. If we start getting mixed up in this relationship stuff, then it’s going to ruin us.”
“Alright,” I said, clenching my jaw in the knowledge that this would be a hard task to accomplish.
“I’m serious David. No more dragging me out of places.”
“I said alright. It’s fine Trina. I promise,” I smiled.
“Thank you,” she grabbed my face in her hands and kissed my cheek happily. “Now go home so we can both get some sleep.”
<
br /> “Fine,” I said, climbing back out the window. “But you can deny it all you want Trina. I was still your first kiss.” I jumped backwards laughing as she attempted to hit out at me and climbed back over the fence, giving her a small salute as I dropped down to the other side out of her sight.
Chapter Four
The next week at school, things changed drastically for me and Trina. Ben started hanging around her more and more, and suddenly I was getting a huge amount of attention from the other girls.
I have to admit that I was a little ticked off that Katrina was so ready to go and hang out with Ben during school and basically ignore me until we were on the bus going home. It’s kind of the reason why I justified spending more time with Cassie, even though she’d gone and told everybody those lies about me.
Cassie’s parents worked a lot, and were seriously lax in their parental supervision when they were home. Our group used to spend a lot of weekends at Cassie’s house, having parties in this little self-contained living area – The Granny flat. Every teenager wishes their family had one for them to hang out in. It had one bedroom, a bathroom, and a small living area with a simple kitchen.
It was about two weeks after the dance at school that we were all there again, Katrina had gone to sit by Cassie’s pool and ‘talk’ to Ben, and I’d done my best to be cool with that and just focus on what was happening inside with everyone else.
“Can I talk to you?” Cassie asked, coming up to stand beside me.
“Sure,” I shrugged, not paying that much attention as my eyes flitted toward the sliding door through which I could see Trina and Ben sitting together with their feet in the water.
“In private,” she said, inclining her head toward the bedroom door.
I followed her eyes and then looked back at her. “I don’t know if I want to do that Cassie, you kind of made shit up about me last time we were on our own.”
“Well, that’s kind of what I want to talk to you about,” she whispered, giving me one of those big round eyed pouty looks that girls are so good at.
“Fine,” I said, earning a broad triumphant grin from her as I followed her into the room under the watchful eyes of everyone else in the flat.
Now, Cassie was hot. She’d grown her hair, and it fell into these long glossy waves that touched just below her shoulder blades. She had big blue eyes, full lips, and curves in all the right places. I was attracted to her looks, but I was wary of her personality. I wasn’t sure what I was about to get myself into by entering the room with her.
“Firstly, I want to apologise. I shouldn’t have let them think that we had sex when we didn’t.”
“Alright,” I said, dropping my guard a little as I leant against the wall while she stood in front of me.
“And secondly, I wanted to know if you maybe wanted to go out with me?” she asked.
“What? Like be your boyfriend?”
“Well yeah, that’s what ‘going out’ means isn’t it?”
“Um, listen Cassie, you’re a nice girl and all, but I’m not interested in having a girlfriend right now.”
“So you’ll make out with me, and you’ll dry hump, but you won’t actually date me?”
“If I recall correctly, it was you doing the dry humping.”
“It’s because of Katrina isn’t it?”
“What? Why would it be about Katrina?”
“Because you’re like, always together.”
“She’s my best friend,” I shrugged. I felt that was all the explanation that was required.
Cassie sat down on the bed in a sulk and folded her arms across her chest.
“I’m sorry if I upset you. I just don’t want a girlfriend, and it has nothing to do with you or Katrina, or anyone. I just don’t want one.”
“Don’t you think I’m pretty enough?” she pouted.
Feeling sorry for her, I sat on the bed next to her and lifted her face by the chin so she was looking at me. “Cassie, you’ve got a mirror. You know you’re gorgeous.”
And that’s when she kissed me. At first, I didn’t respond, but a little voice inside me said ‘What the hell? They all think you’re in here screwing her anyway.” So I went with it, and this time when she reached for my belt. I let her.
***
I wish I could say that was the one and only time that Cassie and I had sex, but it wasn’t. I guess for me, I felt that I may as well be doing the thing I was being accused of. I told Cassie that it didn’t mean we were together in any way. I refused to spread my time between two girls. Katrina came first for me.
Although, Katrina obviously didn’t feel the same way. On that same night, her and Ben became a couple.
“So is it true that you slept with Cassie at the party on Saturday?” she asked me on the way home from school, the next Monday.
“I thought we were going to stay out of each other’s relationships? I haven’t asked you what’s going on with you and Ben,” I responded.
“Yeah but… you’re not in a relationship with her are you? I mean, you just slept with her… with everyone outside the bedroom door…”
Honestly, I couldn’t meet her eye. My own reasoning over the situation had made me ok with it, but hearing Katrina’s take on it, made me feel like I’d done something wrong.
Instead, I covered my disappointment in myself up with anger. “Just leave it alone alright. If I wanted to talk to you about it, I would have brought it up myself,” I bit out at her before standing up from the seat we were sharing and walking toward the back of the bus, sliding up against the window and staring out as I chewed on my thumbnail, bouncing my leg in agitation.
I saw her glance at me a couple of times. I could see that I’d hurt her feelings, but I guess I was hurt or maybe embarrassed. I don’t really know which one. All the constant talk about sex at school was obviously getting to me.
As we got off the bus, Katrina was waiting for me, so we could walk together. “Do you still want to come over and do our homework? I promise not to ask you anymore questions about… well, you know...”
“So, Ben’s your boyfriend now?”
“Ah, yeah, he is.”
“Is that going to change things between us?”
“I hope not, David. But I guess that’s up to you.”
We stood for a moment looking at each other. We had agreed to stay out of each other’s relationships, but it was kind of strange having other people around that would be taking our attention away from each other.
“Alright. No more relationship questions.”
“Deal,” she said, taking a few steps forward before turning back to me, “Are you coming?”
“Yeah, I’m coming,” I said, jogging a couple of steps to catch up to her. As much as all this relationship stuff felt like a big elephant in the room at this point, there was no way I was going to let some guy get in between me and Katrina. We’d been too close for too long to let anyone come between us now.
Chapter Five
Throughout the majority of year ten, my time with Katrina became limited as she spent much of her time with Ben and their flourishing relationship. At school, they were the ‘it’ couple and seemed picture perfect, Katrina with her long honey hair and clear blue eyes, and Ben with his dark hair and dark features – they looked like movie stars together.
While Katrina was off with Ben, I started to explore the effect I had on the opposite sex. I wasn’t sure why, but they all seemed very interested in getting me alone. I didn’t sleep with all of them, but they were all very willing to get involved in a lot of heavy petting. While it felt good, it was meaningless. I missed my friend's constant company. I was simply filling the void.
Eventually, it got back to me that the girls were fascinated about the size of my cock. There were comments about it written in the girl’s toilet block. Suddenly, I felt like a circus act and backed away from all of them. I went into the girls' toilets after school one day with a sheet of sandpaper and scrubbed the comments away. Seeing them there mad
e me feel really cheap. I’d never once bragged about anything I did with girls. I couldn’t understand why they’d write things about me for the whole school to see.
Since Ben and Katrina were practically joined at the hip, I didn’t have much of a reason to stay with the ‘celeb’ group. It really wasn’t that fun watching her and Ben cozy up in a corner, so I started to choose other things to do instead and slowly started to hang out with the group Loren and Erin were in.
Trina of course noticed me pulling away, and when I explained to her that I was getting sick of the sex obsession they all had, she completely understood, saying she was pretty tired of all the talk too. If it wasn’t for Ben, she’d probably break away from that group with me.
“It reminds me of how things were when we first started high school, you hanging out with one group, and me with another. It’s kind of sad,” she said.
“I suppose, but you have to admit that you’ve been pretty caught up with Ben these last few months. I didn’t really spend that much one on one time with you anyway.”
“I guess, well, I’ll make sure I see you after school, I’m sure we’ll be ok.”
“Trina, you and I will always be ok.”
Cassie wasn’t quite as understanding as Trina was. Despite knowing that I had been with other girls besides her, she seemed to think she had some kind of claim on me. I get that sleeping with her a few times must have meant something to her, but I was always clear with her. I was always honest, so I didn’t understand what her deal was.
She was quite put out with me for refusing to take her as my date to the year ten formal, although she kept calling it a prom – she’d watched so much Gossip Girl, that I seriously thought she was deluded about what country she was in.
Some of my other friends were planning on hiring a limo together and going as a group, and I was happy to be in on that. Trina wanted to join in too, but Ben had other plans. Plans that I eventually overheard when I was in the change rooms after our school's sports afternoon…
A bunch of guys from year ten to twelve were on the school’s basketball team. It wasn’t much of a commitment. We just had to train on a Monday at lunch time and play a game on a Thursday afternoon against one of the other schools in our district.
The Beauty in Between: Too Close (A Beautiful Series Novella) Page 3
