Cassie gasped, her eyes wide and wild as she took a step toward me, bringing her arm around with such force that when she slapped me, my eye stung.
“I hate you!” she screeched and stomped off in a ball of hysteria while her friends tried to console her as they shot daggers in my direction.
“Shit,” I hissed, the heat rising in my cheek where she slapped me. I watched as whatever new story she was telling about me started to spread like wildfire through the party. “I think I’d better go home,” I said to Katrina, who was standing behind me, shocked over the whole situation.
“You really did have sex with her?”
“Trina, I – ”
“Don’t,” she said holding her hand up at me to stop. “I don’t want to know anymore.” She pulled her phone from her pocket. “I’ll call dad. He'll come and get us.”
“Trina, don’t let your night be ruined because of me. I’m the idiot who got involved with her. I knew what she was like.”
“Then why did you? Especially after she lied about you the first time. I thought you felt the same way about all of that stuff that I did. I mean, you’ve never admitted it. So I kind of hoped it wasn’t true…” she said, her voice trailing off. I’m not sure she really wanted to hear the truth about why I slept with Cassie, and honestly, I had trouble thinking it, let along voicing it.
“Just a glutton for punishment I guess,” I smiled. “Come on,” I told her as I saw Cassie move on to complain to Ben and Aaron. They were looking pissed off and glancing in my direction. “We’ll walk to the shops and meet your dad there.”
Nodding she started walking beside me as she called her dad and specified where we would be. “I know we shouldn’t leave the party Dad, but it’s getting out of hand… No, no one’s fighting… yes… Dad, don’t do that, just come and pick us up please…Thank you,” she said finally, sounding relieved as we made our way down the darkened street. Pressing the screen to end the call, she looked at me and shrugged. “He wanted to know if he should call the police to break the party up since there’s so much underage drinking going on.”
“Oh god – as if they don’t hate me enough already.”
“They don’t like me much these days either.”
“He’s not really going to is he?”
“No, he’s not happy about it, but he won’t… listen, about before…”
“Yeah I know, I’m sorry Trina. I totally crossed the line. I should never have kissed you like that. I was drinking, and I don’t know… It was wrong though, I shouldn’t have done it.”
“Oh,” she said, rubbing her shoulders against the cooling air while we walked. It was too dark to see her face, but I could tell that I’d upset her.
Internally, I was kicking myself for being such an idiot. The whole evening had been amazing. I'd had so much fun, and it was as if suddenly there was this immense attraction between me and Katrina. I couldn’t resist it.
Slipping my jacket around her shoulders, I said, “I’m so sorry Trina. I just… you’re the best part of my life, and I don’t want to ruin our friendship over something as silly as a kiss.”
We stopped at a bus shelter and sat down to wait for her dad. “I wasn’t talking about the kiss.”
“What do you mean?”
“When I started talking about ‘before’ – I wasn’t talking about the kiss. I’m not sorry about that. Actually, it was the best part of the night,” she laughed, but in a sad way. “I was trying to apologise for questioning you about Cassie. I shouldn’t have expected you to have continued to say ‘no’. Especially when so many of the girls are really into you. Surely, one of them was going to turn your head.”
“Oh… um, it’s fine Trina. Honestly, I thought you knew.”
“Is she the only one?”
I met her eyes. I felt sick having this conversation, especially when I’d reacted so badly about hearing the things Ben said he was doing with her.
“Oh god, don’t tell me. I really don’t want to know.” She shook her head and leaned back against the Perspex wall of the bus stop as she pulled my jacket tightly around her.
“Come here,” I said, putting my arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer to me. “I’ll keep you warm.”
She rested her head against my shoulder as I moved my hand up and down her arm to generate some warmth.
“So… the kiss was the best part of the night was it?” I asked her eventually.
“David!” she said in warning.
“Do you even see me that way?” I asked.
“What? Like a boyfriend?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
She sat up and moved slightly so she was facing me properly. “I don’t know. But it felt right. I liked it.”
I kind of felt like I’d been slapped again. I’d gotten so caught up in the moment that I’d never even thought that it could lead to Katrina wanting something more from me. Every other time I’d made out with a girl at a party, it had been just that – making out. I felt like a fucking moron for leading her on.
She must have seen the panic register on my face because all of a sudden she was saying, “But it doesn’t have to mean anything – not if you don’t want it to anyway.”
At that moment, her dad pulled up to the curb and beeped his horn at us, snapping our heads around to his direction.
I cleared my throat. “Um, can we talk about this later?”
She simply nodded and got into the front seat of the car as I climbed into the back.
“Are you two fighting again?” her dad asked as soon as we got into the car.
“No Dad, I just wanted to sit with you. It’s been a long night.”
“Did you at least have fun?” he said, starting the drive back home.
“Yeah, we had a great time. It’s just the after party that turned crappy.”
“Yes, well alcohol and hormone filled teenagers are never a good mix,” he said.
“You said it Mr M,” I replied, resting my head on the back of the seat and sighing as I thought about how badly I may have messed up things between me and Katrina.
***
“So, how was your first big formal?” my mum asked when I came through the door. “I actually didn’t expect you home this early.”
“Yeah well, the after party sucked,” I said, heading toward my room to change.
“Come and talk to me,” she called out.
“Yeah Ma I will, just let me get out of this.”
I went into my room and threw off my formal attire, leaving it in a pile on my desk chair and threw on a pair of boxers and a white cotton shirt before going back out to join my mum.
“So what happened this time?” she asked me as I sat down next to her.
Once again, I spilled my guts. My mum has never once judged me for my choices and frankly, she gives great advice.
“You kissed Katrina?” she said, sitting back and tucking her leg underneath her. “Anyone could see that was going to happen eventually, but I guess you just have to decide now whether you’re willing to have a relationship with her while you’re young that could possibly ruin your friendship, or you could wait. If it’s meant to be, the opportunity will present itself when the time is right for both of you.”
“But what if she hates me for saying no to her? I like her mum. I think she’s gorgeous, but I don’t want to be anyone’s boyfriend. I don’t even know how to be a boyfriend.”
“Well, it’s a lot like being a friend, but there’s a lot more kissing involved.”
I shook my head. “Honestly mum, I’m scared.”
“What of?”
“Of being a failure. Of turning out like dad...”
“Oh David. You are nothing like your father. You look like him, and that’s where the resemblance stops. Is that why you’ve never had a girlfriend? Because of him?”
I bounced my shoulders, shaking my head slightly. “Partly I guess. Relationships scare me.”
“Why?”
“Because they don�
�t last.”
“Then wait,” she counselled me.
It took me a really long time to fall asleep because I wanted to go to Trina and explain myself. I wanted to apologise and beg her not to let that kiss ruin our friendship. My thoughts must have called her to me because I heard a tap on my window and found her standing outside, still wearing her formal dress.
“What are you doing? You must be freezing!” I whispered harshly, opening my screen and helping her to climb in.
“I needed to see you,” she replied breathlessly.
Closing the window, I turned to her and rubbed my hands up and down her arms to generate some warmth but when our eyes locked, I froze, searching her eyes as they gazed into mine, trying to convey something important without words.
Before I knew it, her lips were on mine, and we were falling onto my bed all tangled up in each other.
“I want you,” she whispered in my ear as she positioned herself on top of me and reached between my legs with her hand.
“Are you sure?” I whispered as I kissed her jaw and reached up, kneading her breasts with my hands, getting completely lost in what was happening.
She brought her mouth to mine and slid her tongue slowly over my own, drinking me in, devouring me as she used her hand to slide the tip of my cock around her opening.
“Just be careful,” I started to say, knowing that the other girls I’d been with had a bit of trouble adjusting to my size. But instead I just closed my eyes and moaned as she slid herself around me. It was as if she was my perfect fit.
She sat back and rolled her hips against me, taking me in deeper as she rode my shaft. Opening my eyes, I gazed up at her, rocking above me, a look of pure ecstasy on her face as I watched her slide herself up and down my length. She was beautiful.
My hands roamed all over her body, loving the touch of her bare skin under my fingertips. I grabbed her hips and sat up underneath her, so we were face to face. Grinning at me, she continued to rock her hips.
I brushed my lips against hers, kissing her gently at first as we slowed things down. As I deepened the kiss, exploring her mouth with my tongue, I brought my hand up to cup her breast, tweaking her nipple between my fingers.
She gasped into my mouth and started to whimper as if she was close to orgasming. Feeling overcome, but not wanting to blow yet, I held myself back as best I could, trying to wait until I was sure she was ready.
“Oh God, you feel so good,” I whispered to her between kisses. “I can’t believe this is actually happening.”
She rested her hands either side of my face and pulled back, looking at me intently before she spoke. “It’s not.”
Snapping my eyes open, my room was filled with daylight, and I was on the verge of bursting.
Quickly, I reached down and grabbed my cock to stop myself from blowing my load all over my sheets and snatched up the towel I’d left lying on the floor from my shower the night before.
Releasing my grip, I let go with a shudder, the images from the dream still so clear in my mind. I raked my fingers through my hair and let out a charged breath.
“What the fuck?” I said to myself, and I lay back on the bed. I should have known it was a dream the moment our clothes went missing without either of us actually removing them.
Once I’d calmed down, I got up and took a shower, then skipped breakfast so I could go straight to Katrina’s place, I needed to sort this out. Was I ready to get involved in a relationship? Could we even still be friends after kissing each other? I just didn’t know.
“Oh hi Tom,” I said as Katrina’s brother answered the door. “Is Katrina in?”
“Yeah man, she’s in her room,” he said, stepping away from the door and heading back towards the kitchen.
“Is she awake?” I asked as I followed.
He answered with a simple shrug as he took a seat at the breakfast bar to continue eating his cereal.
“Where’s your mum and dad?”
“Mum’s hanging washing and Dad’s gone to Bunnings. The lawn mower shat itself so he’s gone to get a new one.”
Katrina’s bedroom was just off the kitchen, so I turned where I was standing and knocked gently before trying to open it, glad that she hadn’t locked it when the knob turned in my hands.
She was sitting up in bed reading, but put her book aside when she saw me come in.
“Hey,” I said in greeting.
“Hey yourself,” she replied moving her legs, so I could sit down.
I looked around the room briefly, taking in the dress she wore last night, the dress she wore in my dream, as it hung over the back of her chair with her shoes lying on the ground beside it.
Clearing my throat, I pushed the dream out of my mind. “Listen Trina, about last night…” I started.
“Oh god, here we go,” she said, raking her hand through her now shoulder-length hair, as she brought her knees up to her chest. “It’s fine David. Let’s just forget about it ok. I feel stupid for what I said – let’s just put it down to me being a little drunk and on the rebound, ok?”
“No Trina, I need to explain.” I told her, taking a deep breath before launching into my practised speech. “Out of everyone in this world, you are the most important person to me. I love you Trina, but I love you as a friend. I can’t be anything more than that to you, and I don’t know if I ever could. I don’t know if I ever want to be anyone’s boyfriend, and as much as I liked kissing you last night, it can’t happen again. If we were together, I really think I’d just mess it up. I don’t think I’m built for relationships – my dad wasn’t and perhaps I’m not either.” I could see the disappointment as it set into her face and turned her eyes glassy. “I’m not explaining myself very well am I? I guess I’m just sorry, please don’t let this ruin us as friends.”
“No, you’re making perfect sense. We’re friends, end of story – you really didn’t need to give me the whole ‘love you like a friend’ speech. I get it, and it’s fine,” she told me with a slight edge to her voice that made me feel as though I’d fucked things up between us anyway.
“Are you sure you’re ok – you don’t look fine?”
She laughed. “Good work David, you friend-zone me and then you tell me I look crap. That’s really awesome.”
“No, you’re beautiful. You're always beautiful – that’s not what I meant.”
Shaking her head, she said, “It’s fine. Let’s just drop this whole thing, ok?”
“Alright, well… I’m going to head home. Maybe I’ll see you later?” I said, rising from the bed and leaning forward to kiss her on the top of her head. “You sure we’re good?”
“Positive David. Now go home,” she sighed.
I grinned at her and left, closing her door behind me and saying goodbye to Tom as I headed for the front door. There was a knock just before I reached it, so I called out, “Do you want me to get that?”
“Yeah, it should be Ethan, let him in,” Tom called.
Opening the door, I shook Ethan’s hand. “Hey man, I didn’t know you were friends with Tom?”
“Yeah, we work together at the cinema. Hey, we’re playing Halo – you want to join in?”
“Nah, I’ve got stuff to do, but have fun.” I told him as I went back home, glad I had told Katrina how I felt, but worried that it was going to somehow affect our friendship regardless.
Chapter Seven
After the night of the formal, things were a little strained between Trina and me. It’s not that we weren’t talking, because we were – there was just a slight discomfort between us, one that wouldn’t go away no matter how hard I tried to be friendly, or how much time we spent together. When I questioned her, she claimed she was tired, and sick of school, which I guess was understandable.
There were only a couple of weeks left before the Christmas holidays kicked in, which meant at least six weeks away from school life as well as all the bullshit Cassie had continued to cause for us.
I had become public enemy number o
ne in her eyes and there wasn’t a day that went by that someone didn’t call me some horrible name for ‘forcing’ her to have an abortion. It didn’t matter how many times I told them I didn’t get her pregnant. They were more willing to run with the scandal than they were to hear the truth.
Trina also copped a bit of backlash for supposedly dumping Cassie as a friend because she wanted me all to herself – something like that anyway. There were a few different versions to the story, all had some element of Katrina being insanely jealous of my non-existent relationship with Cassie and doing everything she could to make sure we couldn’t be together.
It was so incredibly lame, and besides the handful of people I sat with at lunch, I didn’t bother talking to anyone anymore. I had effectively gone from the guy who called the shots, to the guy who everyone kicked mud on. It sucked, that’s for sure. But at least I knew who my friends were.
On top of things being a little strained between me and Trina, I was still dreaming about her. Almost every night when I closed my eyes, she came to me. Rationally I knew that that was where my attraction needed to stay – in my dreams.
I wanted Trina to be in my life forever and as far as I could see – high school relationships didn’t last that long. Better to be friends forever, than to be lovers for a moment.
On the last week of school, my mum surprised me with an envelope that held tickets for us to go on a holiday to Bali. I had never been on a plane before, and holidays had been non-existent for us since my dad had left.
She said she’d been saving up and wanted to do something fun to celebrate me doing so well in my exams.
“I’m not sure how you managed to do so well, because you never seem to study. But I’m proud of you. I’m proud of your grades, and I’m proud of the way you’ve handled all that crap that’s been put on you at school,” she told me.
We went the two weeks before Christmas, so we missed the really busy time, it was fantastic. I could forget about all the shit back home and just be me. We stayed at the Dynasty Resort, and they had this teen's club called The Den where you could go to hang out away from your parents. My mum got pretty involved with some of the tours, so I spent a fair bit of time there, getting to know some people. It was normal. It was fun and despite missing Katrina, I was sad when the trip was over.
The Beauty in Between: Too Close (A Beautiful Series Novella) Page 5
