by Casey Lane
“M’not fifteen,” Matthew muttered as he fell asleep against Gareth’s shoulder.
Sloan left the room and wandered the hall, looking for Leith. He found the man in the waiting room, facing the windows.
Sloan sighed. He and Leith were both idiots. Leith was deeply affected by Matthew; he had been from the first day Matthew had stepped into the castle when he was seventeen. Before the incident, Sloan had always thought Leith only viewed Matthew as a younger brother. Now, everyone in the room could see he was in love with the young man. Anyone except Leith, himself, apparently. Or maybe, the man simply couldn’t admit he was in love with Matthew.
Sloan was another story. He was ready and willing to admit to both himself and everyone else, that he was in love with Sunny. He just didn’t know how.
Yep. Both of them were complete idiots.
Chapter Nineteen
Sloan sighed when he saw the bouquet of flowers he’d sent to Sunny sitting on the dining room table. This was the third one she’d refused to put in her room.
He was at a complete loss as to what to do next. Obviously, flowers were not the answer. And chocolates weren’t the answer either, since he’d found the box he’d sent to Sunny sitting on Raven’s desk yesterday.
Sunny had been nothing but polite to him since she’d been released from the hospital. She said all the right words and even smiled at him from time to time, but it wasn’t the same. Her smile never reached her eyes anymore and she avoided his touch. Hell, she avoided being in the same room alone with him let alone sitting next to him at meals.
Matthew hobbled into the room and eased himself down into his seat, propping his crutches against the arm of the chair. “Hey, Sloan,” he greeted.
Maybe the answer was staring him right in the face. Sunny and Matthew had gotten quite close since she’d come to the castle. He probably knew what he could do to make her forgive him. “Matthew, can I ask you something?”
The young man looked up at him with surprise, and Sloan immediately felt guilty. Matthew had been living here for six years, and he really didn’t know the kid at all. In fact, he couldn’t remember ever having a conversation with Matthew. They really didn’t speak unless they had to.
It served to highlight how far into his depression he had been before Sunny came into his life. Still, it hadn’t been an excuse to totally ignore everything and everyone around him.
He was ashamed of himself. Hell, Dara would have lectured him about his behavior until she turned blue.
“Sloan?”
He blinked at Matthew’s voice and forced himself back to the situation at hand. “Sorry. I zoned out for a second.”
Matthew smiled kindly. “I’ve been known to zone out myself every once in a while. What can I do for you?”
He couldn’t believe he was about to ask someone more than forty years younger than him for advice on his love life, but it wasn’t like he was doing so hot on his own. “I kind of made an ass of myself where Sunny is concerned.”
Matthew nodded. “I heard.”
Sloan waited for the dressing down Matthew was probably itching to give him. Everyone else in the castle certainly had already torn him a new one.
When Matthew simply waited for him to speak, Sloan was taken aback. “Don’t you want to shout at me?” he blurted.
Laughing, Matthew shook his head. “You’ve probably already had the lecture from at least three people. You don’t need to hear it from me.”
Sloan relaxed. Matthew didn’t look particularly upset, just curious. “Thanks. I appreciate it.”
“No problem. Now, about Sunny?”
Trust a lawyer to cut right to the issue. “Well, I’ve been trying to get her to forgive me, but I can’t seem to get it right.”
Matthew frowned. “Forgive you? She told me she forgave you before she was discharged.”
“I know. But it’s just not the same between us. I know I shouldn’t expect it to be the same,” he rushed to say before Matthew could point it out, “but I wish she would at least give me a chance to apologize properly.”
“No offense, but I don’t think the way to her heart is through flowers and chocolate. The candy was pretty tasty, by the way,” Matthew said with a smirk.
Sloan couldn’t help but laugh. “Glad you approved. So, do you have any advice?”
“Yep. Get those peanut butter cups from North America next time. They’re freaking delicious.”
Despite his serious question, Sloan was delighted with Matthew’s come back. The kid was smart, witty and had a great sense of humor. He’d have to make an effort to spend more time with Matthew in the near future. He had a feeling Matthew would be a hoot to party with and also be able to hold his own in a debate.
“Funny. I’ll keep that in mind. But about Sunny?”
Matthew flashed him a grin before getting serious. “The thing is, she knows you didn’t mean what you said. But it wasn’t what she needed to hear right then. She probably felt like you’d abandoned her, especially when you threw Dara in her face.”
The whole idea that Sunny might have felt abandoned was an eye-opener. She had talked with him briefly about her past and how she’d been raised in a series of foster homes. It wasn’t inconceivable that she would feel deserted when he’d lost his temper, when what she’d needed him to be was supportive. “Man, I really messed up.”
Matthew struggled to his feet, or rather his foot, and grabbed his crutches. “Look. Just spend some time with her. Watch movies, talk to her … hell, why not try reading the same book so you have something to discuss.”
He pursed his lips and thought about it. They hadn’t really done much but sleep together since they met. Watching a movie with her could be fun. And reading a book wouldn’t kill him. And maybe showing her he cared by spending time with her would be more effective than telling her with flowers and candy. “Thanks, Matthew. I’ll do that.”
Matthew propped the crutches under his arms and winked at him as he straightened. “No problem. I have a vested interest in you and Sunny getting back together.”
“Yeah? What’s that? Do you and Raven have a bet on if Sunny and I get back together or something?”
“No. You’re much more pleasant to be around now that Sunny’s here. You’re not all doom and gloom anymore. But a bet is a good idea. I’m going to find Raven and talk him into making one.” Matthew limped in the direction of Raven’s office. “I’m betting on you, by the way.”
Sloan watched Matthew leave the room, feeling much happier than he had when he’d first woken up to see the flowers he’d sent Sunny sitting on the table. He strode over to his laptop and fired up a search engine to look for recent movie releases.
Opening a new tab, Sloan pulled up an American candy store. Matthew was going to get his peanut butter cups as often as he wanted for the rest of his life.
Sunny watched from the library window as Sloan left the castle. She wished he’d quit sending her flowers. They were beautiful and thoughtful, but they made her feel guilty because she couldn’t seem to get past his words.
“What’s vexing you, lass?” Leith said from behind her.
She spun around, clapping her hand to her pounding heart. “You scared the shit out of me,” she said. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.”
Leith raised an eyebrow and wandered over to the cappuccino machine in the corner. He made his selection and pressed the brew button. “I made plenty of noise. You weren’t paying attention.”
The machine beeped, signaling that the coffee was ready. Leith took a sip and sighed. “As much as I detest technology sometimes, I have to say, this coffee is so much better than it was when I was young.”
Sunny grinned and plopped into a seat next to Leith. “What did you do all those years ago? Grind your coffee beans between a couple of stones?”
“You know, anyone else would treat me with respect,” he commented lightly.
She giggled and patted his hand. “I’ve figured you out.”
&nbs
p; Leith rolled his eyes but didn’t refute her comment. Instead, he went back to his original question. “What’s bothering you?”
Sunny felt her smile fade and she fidgeted a little in her seat. She really didn’t know how to explain what she was feeling so she didn’t say anything at all.
Leith didn’t seem to need her to speak. “You’re still punishing Sloan.”
“No,” she denied with a gasp. “I forgave him as soon as he apologized.”
“But you’ve been going out of your way to avoid him since you came home, and he’s been bending over backward to try and make you happy again.”
Leave it to Leith to bluntly tell it like it is. “I know.” And she did. She just didn’t know what to do about it.
Leaning forward, Leith pressed a soft, paternal kiss to the top of her head. “Do you really forgive him for his words?”
She nodded before letting her forehead rest against his collar bone for a minute. If Raven was becoming like an older brother, Leith was definitely becoming a father figure. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hugged him, despite their awkward position.
Leith squeezed her in return before pulled back. He tilted her head back with his fingers under her chin and looked her straight in the eyes. “Then do you think perhaps something else is going on?”
Sighing, Sunny nodded again. “How do you know me so well?”
Leith smiled softly and ruffled her hair. “I told you before. You remind me so much of my Elizabeth. I’ll leave you to your thoughts. But I want you to think about Sloan and why you’re so reluctant to let him get close again.”
He stood up and strode to the door, pausing to look at her over his shoulder. “I’m not saying you have to forgive him. I am saying you should understand if you’re pushing him away because of what he said or if you’re pushing him away because you’re afraid of something.”
She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the back of her chair. Leith was right, of course. She wasn’t upset about his words. She’d gotten over those long ago, recognizing he’d said them in the heat of the moment.
It was the fear of being abandoned stopping her from moving forward.
She’d always thought she was a strong, independent woman. But it turned out that when she was confronted with the possibility of happiness, she was a wimp who ran away from the fear of being hurt instead of fighting for her happiness.
It wasn’t fair to her and it certainly wasn’t fair to Sloan.
The man in question shuffled back into the castle and stopped hesitantly in the library doorway. “Sunny. Hi.”
It was now or never. Ignoring the sudden flight or fight instinct that churned in her gut, urging her to run, she smiled. “Hi, Sloan.”
The hopeful smile that bloomed on his face proved she’d made the right decision. “I got a couple of movies. What do you think about taking a break from training today and having a movie marathon? We can grab Anna, and Raven could probably be talked into watching at least one of them.”
Crossing the floor, Sunny took the bag from Sloan and peeked inside. It was full of romantic comedies. They weren’t something she could picture Sloan picking out on his own, so he’d probably had her in mind when he chose them.
Touched, and a little amused since she would have been thrilled with a horror movie marathon, she reached for Sloan’s hand and laced her fingers with his. “Let’s watch them alone.”
She walked with Sloan to the media room, never letting go of his hand. She couldn’t guarantee she would be able to move past her fear, but, damn it, she would try.
Chapter Twenty
“Crap.”
Sloan’s voice drifted from the kitchen, startling Sunny. Curious, she wandered in the direction of the man’s frustrated voice and poked her head in the room.
She didn’t know whether she should laugh or not. Thick, black smoke rose from a frying pan as he used his magic to pour water on its contents. He muttered under his breath, something about never cooking again.
Finally, she couldn’t hold her curiosity in anymore. “Um, Sloan?”
The man in question spun around, spatula in hand, and stared at her with wide eyes. “Hi, Sunny,” he answered.
“What are you doing?” She tried to peek around his body at the stove, which still issued copious amounts of smoke, but he blocked her.
“Making dinner.”
Sunny raised her eyebrows and took another step forward. She deked left and scooted around his right side to gaze down in the pan. An unidentifiable piece of … something … sat in the middle of the metal surface. Whatever it used to be, she was pretty sure it wasn’t supposed to look the way it currently did.
Sloan joined her and poked at the burnt mass with a fork. “It’s chicken.”
Sunny had to clear her throat a couple of times to prevent herself from laughing. He looked so forlorn. “Why are you making dinner?” she asked when she finally got a hold of herself. “I heard Raven mention something about pizza.”
He smiled at her a little sheepishly. “I kind of talked him into ordering out so I could make dinner for you. But, as you can see, I can’t really cook.”
Her heart gave a little flutter. None of the men she’d dated in the past had ever cooked for her. Touched, she made a resolution that she would choke down every single bite.
Luckily, Sloan poked at the meat and sighed. “This isn’t fit for beast, nor man. I guess we’ll have to join the others for a slice of pepperoni.”
“I think Raven ordered a couple of supreme pizzas. And, if you really want to eat pizza with them, that’s fine, but you have to eat the mushrooms. I don’t like them.”
“Deal,” Sloan agreed. “I wish we could have had a quiet dinner. I even bought wine.” He gestured toward the small room off the kitchen, where Anna sometimes attempted to sew.
Curious, she wandered over and looked inside. Her fluttering heart melted. The small table was covered by a pristine white table cloth. A bottle of white wine sat chilling in a silver ice bucket and two tall candles were standing in matching silver sticks.
By the time she’d gotten a hold of herself and returned to Sloan’s side, he was scraping the pan clean. “The pizza should be here by now,” he commented.
“You know what?” she said, putting her hand on Sloan’s wrist. “I don’t feel like pizza. How about pasta? I could really go for some fettuccini alfredo.”
Sloan placed the pan in the sink with a clatter and grimaced. “I don’t know if we have the ingredients.
Sunny reached into a cupboard and extracted a jar of sauce and a bag of macaroni from the depths, setting them down on the counter. “It’s not exactly gourmet, but it will taste good.”
He looked at her skeptically but bent down to retrieve a pot from under the oven. His pants stretched tight across his ass and she took the opportunity to ogle it without having to hide her interest.
“Are you sure you want macaroni with jarred alfredo sauce?” he asked as he straightened.
“It’s perfect.”
They worked together and were sitting at the table, candles lit and wine poured, after half an hour. The pasta was overcooked and the sauce tasted like the jar instead of parmesan cheese, but she didn’t care.
“Would you like to go back into town?” Sloan asked after a sip of wine.
“Now?”
“Sure, why not? We could get some ice cream for dessert. I have very fond memories of that ice cream stand.”
She took a sip of wine to cover her smile. The image of him with the little girl tugged at her soul. “Do you ever want kids?” she asked.
Sloan smiled and his gaze focused somewhere over her shoulder, as if he was looking into the future. “Yeah. I do. How about you?”
She was only twenty-five years old. She had lots of time to have a family so there was no rush. But she already knew the answer. “Yes. How many do you want?”
“I’d love as many as you want,” he said without missing a beat. It might have sounded
like a line coming from someone else, but she could tell from his expression he meant every word. If she wanted to stop at one, he’d be fine but if she wanted five or six, he’d be okay with that too.
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. She wasn’t ready to set herself up for possible heartbreak from the man, let alone have his kids. And yet, the picture of him cradling a small baby close to his wide chest did funny things to her.
“So, what do you think? Do you want to go into town?”
Sunny looked down at her plate of soggy macaroni swimming in white sauce and her half full glass of wine. “No. Actually, I was thinking we could spend the evening in.”
“Really?” Sloan’s voice clearly reflected his surprise. “It’s been a while since we’ve gotten away from everyone.”
Obviously, Sloan had not caught on to her meaning. “I didn’t mean we have to spend the evening with everyone.”
Understanding slowly dawned on Sloan’s face. “Want dessert upstairs?” he asked, grabbing a plate with a slice of chocolate cake and waggling his eyebrows suggestively.
She smiled and pushed away from the table. “As long as you let me have the last bite of cake.”
Sloan surged to his feet and blew out the candles. He linked their fingers together and started leading her toward the back staircase once meant for servants. “Of course. As long as you eat it off me.”
Sunny spit out a strand of hair and stretched. The beam of sun shining through the small crack in the curtains told her the sun was high in the sky. Her stomach growled, not content with last night’s meal, and she turned her head, searching for her lover. The bed next to her was cold, and she couldn’t hear anything from the bathroom.
Last night had been amazing. The effort he’d put into the dinner, the conversation about children, and the fact that he’d spent all night long making sure she was satisfied had brought her to the very edge of love. All it would take was one little nudge and she would be unequivocally in love with him.
