“Like what?” I said curiously.
“I’m about to quit my job.”
“Why?” I shouted.
“Because I’m going on tour overseas with Rizeup. Remember the group I was telling you about?”
“For how long?” I asked.
“Three months.”
“Three months! What am I going to do while you’re away for three months?”
“It’s not concrete yet. I wanted to talk to you first before I made up my mind.”
“This is crazy. You are tripping. What am I supposed to do while you’re on the road?” I asked.
“Wait for me, baby,” he said.
“Wait for you. You sound real stupid!”
“Look, I’ll see you when you get here.” I was furious with him. He was not thinking about us, he was thinking about himself. Why quit a radio station job to go on tour with a no-name rap group?
I finished getting dressed and went to my parents’ home. When I arrived, my uncle Rich and Dad were outside fixing my dad’s silver Ford Astro van. I gave both of them a kiss and went inside. My parents’ home is a big corner house with four bedrooms. The large living room is decorated with African sculptures and paintings. My nana was sitting on the big burgundy sofa under the picture window. I gave her a kiss on her cheek. My mother came downstairs and hugged me.
“Go dish yourself up a snack. I’ll meet you in the kitchen shortly.”
I was making my way into the kitchen when I heard my nana scream out, “Somebody went in my room and stole my damn pearls! Who got my shit?” My sister, Chanel, came over and whispered, “Nana tripping again.” Nana walked right past me with her cane and went up the steps in search of her necklace. My brother, Mike, came up to me and hugged me and we both started laughing at our crazy eighty-five-year-old grandmother. That lady was crazy. We had to find her pearls for her or she would drive us crazy the rest of the night. Everybody stopped what they were doing and began searching for her missing necklace. My mom came over, gave me a kiss, and said, “See what I got to deal with.”
“Remember when we were kids and she used to accuse our friends of stealing?” Chanel said, laughing.
“Yeah, I remember,” I said, as I joined in the search for my nana’s pearl necklace. We all looked around for about an hour. Mike found the necklace under her pillow. As usual, she had misplaced it. She was always hiding shit from herself, blaming everyone else, and never apologizing to anyone. This time was no different. She put her pearls on and went and had a seat on the sofa.
After the hunt for Nana’s pearls, Mike and I sat at the kitchen table and began fixing our plates. My mother had the table decorated with kente cloth, and red, black, and green Kwanzaa candles were in the centerpiece. She had a tray of my favorite dish, banana pudding. She also had cooked salmon, duck, cabbage, yams, turkey, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, and stuffing.
“Where is Mr. DJ?” Mike said, as he put mashed potatoes on his plate.
“Home. He is coming up to get me, and then we are driving back down.”
“That should be nice,” Chanel said, as she sat down with us.
“Where is Harold and the kids?”
“They went to the movies,” she said, as she loaded her plate. Then she turned to Michael. “Has Sheena had her baby?”
Michael whispered, “Not yet. And Kyra hasn’t had hers either.”
None of us realized that our dad was behind us, eavesdropping, until he said, “Wow, you know a lot of pregnant women, son.” He laughed. He had no idea they were both his son’s babies. We looked up and laughed it off with our dad.
“He should know them. They both his kids,” Chanel said.
“What?” my dad shouted. “Two women pregnant! Michael, what’s going on?”
“Chanel, mind your business!” Michael said, as he stood up. Chanel said she thought everybody knew.
“Michael, you have two women pregnant?” my dad asked again. I thought Michael would lie, but instead he said, “Yeah, I do.” Uncle Rich came up behind my dad, shook his head, and said, “All right, now. Player player.” He tried to give Mike a pound but Mike stepped aside. Then my mother walked into the kitchen. “What is this I hear about a baby, Michael?”
“Mike got a baby on the way, Mom,” Chanel blurted out and put her head down.
“Lord have mercy,” my mother said, as she sat down. Everything stopped. We waited for her to say more. Finally, she said, “I dreamed about fishes a long time ago. I thought it was Chanel, or you, Gina. But it’s you, Michael.”
“Yeah, I was going to tell y’all,” he said nervously.
“Well, when you going to bring her to meet us?” my mother asked.
“It’s a ‘them,’ Mom,” Chanel put in. This time I gave her a look to cut it out.
“Huh? I’m confused. What do you mean it’s them, Chanel.”
“Look, I don’t have anything to do with this,” she said.
“Joan, Mike got two different women pregnant,” Uncle Rich said.
“Is that right, Mike?” She said as she looked over at him. He nodded yes and then she said, “Well, bring them both over,” and got up from the table. I heard her mumble, “God does have a sense of humor. Instead of having one, you have two!” She went to tend to Nana and get ready for the candlelighting ceremony. My mother took the news way better than I expected. Mike shook his head and Chanel got up from the table because she knew she was dead wrong.
Turning to Mike, I asked, “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. If anything I’m glad that’s over with,” he said, as he wiped imaginary sweat from his forehead. “So what’s up with you? Now that I’m outed, I’m ready to put somebody else on blast. What’s going on with you with that dude that Bianca was seeing?”
“Nothing.”
He looked over at me and said, “You sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure,” I lied. I didn’t want to tell him what was going on.
“I don’t want to hear it,” he said. “Don’t call me saying he hurt me. He played me. Then I’m going to get on the phone with my boy Chris and tell him what’s going down.”
“No. For real, everything is cool. I’m not seeing him,” I said, as I started to clear the table. I walked into the kitchen to help Chanel do the dishes. I didn’t want to talk about Khalil, and decided to lecture Chanel about telling Mike’s business. She knew she was wrong, but before I could say something to her Chris called my cell phone.
“You almost here?” I asked.
“No, I’m caught up at the radio station. Can you catch the train down? I’m going to have one of the interns pick you up, okay? Then we’ll sit back and chill.”
“Chris, I don’t want to catch the train. I want you to come pick me up like you promised,” I whined.
“I can’t leave, Boo. I miss you. I want to see you real bad. Don’t be mad at me, okay?” he said.
“It’s going to be hard not to.”
“Are you going to get on the train?”
“Yeah, I’ll get on the next train. Bye,” I said, and ended the call.
I told everybody goodbye. My mom wanted me to stay and light the candles, but I didn’t have time. Reluctantly, I caught the train to see Chris. As soon as I got on the train, I felt cramping, like my period was coming on. That was a relief. I didn’t have to have sex with Chris. Chris knew the only thing I wanted him to do when my period was on was rub my feet and stomach. I didn’t know what I would do if he tried to have sex with me. He probably wouldn’t guess I’d been with somebody else. But even if he didn’t know, it just wouldn’t have felt right. I arrived at New Carrolton Station just outside of D.C. He sent one of the station interns to come and pick me up. He was a tall brown-skinned kid with braces.
“Hi, I’m Jules,” he said. “Burner sent me to get you.”
“Chris,” I said, laughing. I never called him Burner, his DJ name. Jules took my bag, got on his cell, and called Chris, and we drove to the radio station.
The stati
on was in the middle of nowhere, I guess to keep crazy people away. The giant antenna and power lines towered over the small building. We entered through the side door. Plaques and posters of artists lined the walls. Chris was on a commercial break so he came out of the studio booth and gave me a kiss. He said he had to stay until the other DJ came in. She was three hours late already. I took a seat and listened as he answered the request lines. There were kids calling in, asking did they win tickets and could he play an Usher song, and young ladies excited to give a shout-out to their men on lockdown. It was all real funny. An hour later the other DJ, Chi, came in with her daughter and apologized for being late. I was ready to go home and get in the bed and relax with Chris.
As we left, Chris said, “We got to make one stop.”
“To where?”
“I told you, we have to go to the Club Enya. I just got to stop in for a little bit. They’re paying me five hundred dollars.”
“What club? You didn’t tell me about no fucking club, Chris,” I yelled.
“I did. You must not have heard me.”
“You said you were at the station and to come down so we can sit back and relax. What are you talking about? You’re lying for no reason.”
“I’m not lying. I thought I told you. We can use the money I earn to pay for the room you got for New Year’s.”
I sucked my teeth, got in his car, and slammed the door.
* * *
I escorted Chris to Club Enya. Even though I was half asleep, he tried to introduce me to people in the club. I was unresponsive and he could tell I was upset. He looked at me and said, “It is not always going to be like this.”
“Yes it will. Baby, I need to see you when I want you. I’m tired of this long-distance shit.”
“So what are you saying” he asked with an attitude.
“I don’t know,” I said, as I hunched my shoulders.
“Maybe we should take a break. Because I need somebody a little more understanding,” he said with a pout.
“Maybe we should,” I said, folding my arms unsympathetically.
Two hours later we finally made it back to his apartment. He had an attitude, and so did I. I decided that first thing in the morning, I was getting out of there. Chris can DJ the rest of his life and go overseas and do whatever he wants. I don’t care. He slept on the sofa while I slept in his bed. The minute I saw the sun, I jumped up and called a cab. He heard me on the phone with the cab company.
“Why are you going home?”
“Didn’t you say maybe we need a break? You don’t consult me about things going on in your life. Then you say you’re going away for three months. And then after all that you lie to me about having to spin at another club. I’m fed up. I can’t take this anymore.”
“You’re fed up. What about me? You know what, fuck it.” He threw his hands up. “Do you want me to take you to the train station?”
“No, I’m catching a cab,” I said, as I walked passed him. He grabbed me and said, “If you don’t want me to go on tour, I won’t go.”
“No, I want you to do whatever you want. Don’t stop following your dreams for me.”
“You are a part of my dreams, Gina.” He tried to hug me, but I pulled away from him and said, “I used to believe that, but now I don’t. You are the one who needs some time to think. I’m going home.” I grabbed my overnight bag and walked out of his apartment. He didn’t stop me.
CHAPTER 9
On the train on the way home, I wondered what was going to happen between me and Chris. We were growing apart because of the long distance between us. My thoughts were interrupted by a call from Khalil.
“Why haven’t I heard from you?” he asked.
“I didn’t know I had to check in with you,” I said.
“Damn, what’s up with the attitude?”
“I don’t have an attitude.”
“Have you been thinking about me?” he asked.
“No, I been busy.”
“Well, I have been thinking about you. Can I see you?” he asked.
“I’m on the train on my way home.”
“Can I pick you up?”
“If you want to, but my friend is in town.”
“I don’t care. I just want to see you. What time does your train get in?”
“At three thirty. Meet me where all the cabs are. Bye.”
After Khalil picked me up, we stopped, got something to eat, then went to my apartment. I walked straight to the bathroom, took a shower, and put on nightclothes. When I came out of the bathroom Khalil was already in my bed.
“Excuse me. I see you have made yourself mighty comfortable,” I said, as I entered the room.
“Come. Lie down.”
I got in the bed and he pulled me closer.
“Don’t this feel good?” he asked, as I lay beside him. He pulled the covers over us and we turned the television on and went to sleep cuddling.
* * *
The next morning I awoke, and Khalil was still asleep. I took another shower and was drying off when I heard a knock on the bathroom door.
“Your phone was ringing,” he said, smiling as he held my phone up in his hand.
“Who’s on the phone?” I asked, confused.
“You know somebody named Chris?” he asked.
I looked at Khalil like he was out of his mind, then snatched the phone out of his hand. “Hello,” I said, hesitantly.
“Who is that answering your phone?” Chris screamed at me.
I disconnected the phone. I couldn’t deal with Chris right now. Right now I had to deal with Khalil.
“I know you didn’t answer my phone,” I snapped.
“It was ringing. What?” he asked, acting like he didn’t know what he had just done. I threw my pillow at him.
“You knew what you were doing. Why you trying to blow my situation up?” I yelled.
He grabbed me, and put his arms around my waist. “Why do you even bother with that dude? You don’t want him. He’s not treating you right. You want me.”
“Well, the only reason you want me is because I didn’t leave him yet,” I said, as I broke away from him.
“Why are you fighting it?” he asked.
“I’m not fighting anything, Khalil. Yes, we are sexually compatible, but what else do we have going on?”
“I make you smile and laugh,” he said, trying to make me laugh. But I didn’t smile at all.
“All you are going to do is drop me when I drop Chris. I’m not stupid.”
“How long have we been seeing each other? If I wanted to drop you, I would have done it already. I know what you are scared of. You can’t take the pressure.”
“The pressure of what?”
“A man ready to give you everything that you want and need,” he said.
“It’s not that.”
“You sure?”
“I’m positive. I know what I want,” I said as I shook my head.
“I don’t think you do.”
“Why me? Why do you want to pursue me. I mean, there are a lot of girls out there. Call one of them.”
“That’s not what I’m looking for. I want you. I want to settle down and see my lady after a hard day.”
“I mean, look at the circumstances how we met,” I said.
“So. That’s not important. How I feel about you is. Tell me you don’t feel anything for me.”
“How can you feel something for me and it has only been a few weeks?” I questioned him.
“Time doesn’t matter. I know that you are different.”
“Well, I don’t know what I feel. I think we should talk later.”
“So you putting me out? All right, I’m tired of playing games with you. When you get your shit together, get with me.” He left and I made sure the door was locked.
Khalil had a lot of nerve. I didn’t disrespect him. I never answered his phone or looked through his phone numbers. And he wants to play me with my man? I sat thinking how I was going to get out
of this mess. Chris kept calling me back. He would alternate between the house and my cell phone. I didn’t want to speak to him. I didn’t know what to say. I love Chris, but he doesn’t make me happy. He is not around enough to make me happy. A relationship takes work, and it is impossible for us to make this work with him living so far away. I dialed Chris, but before I could get what I needed to say out of my mouth, Chris was screaming at me. “So who was that Gina?”
“A friend,” I said.
“A friend, huh? Why was he over your house?” he said suspiciously.
“Chris, come on. He’s just a friend.”
“You take a shower while your friends are over? I don’t know about you,” he mumbled.
“Baby, I can’t do this anymore,” I said.
“Can’t do what?”
“I can’t do us.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you are too far away from me. Sometimes I want to hold you, and touch you, and I can’t.”
“You know I love you, Gina.”
“I know, but your love does not have arms that can hold me at night. If I feel like I want you, or I get real hyped and want to run to you, I can’t. All I can do is call you. I can’t even drive to you. Chris, you are miles away. You are always working. I want more. I deserve more.” I cried.
“Stop crying, Gina. I love you, girl. Things are about to pop out here for me.”
“I don’t want to hear that shit. I got to go, Chris.”
“So, we are over. Just like that? One year of my life for nothing, huh, Gina?”
“Chris, I’ve got to go.” He was not going to make me feel bad for wanting more. I need someone who’s in the same city as me, someone that is willing to do whatever it takes. Hopefully that someone is Khalil.
I drove to Khalil’s apartment in less than a half hour. I knocked, but he didn’t answer. His car was there, so I knocked again. He still didn’t answer so I dialed his number. The phone rang and rang. I got out of the car and banged on his door three times. Finally, he came to the door.
“Gina, what are you doing here?”
“I left him,” I said, looking like a lost puppy.
“You did what?”
“I left him,” I repeated.
My Boo Page 5
