by Wilde, Lori
“I would never do that. When I’m with a woman, I’m with her.” His hand was still on her forearm.
“Oh,” she said, not knowing what else to say. Be with me. That’s what she wanted to say, but of course, she couldn’t.
“I’m going to have to ask you to keep what I’m about to tell you in strictest confidence. Can you promise me that, Roxie?” His intense gaze pinned her to the spot.
She couldn’t promise him that, not when her job and Stacy’s future might depend on sharing the information with her boss. “Dougal, I…”
“I can trust you.” He interlaced his fingers with hers, squeezed her hand.
Compelled by the vulnerable expression on his face, Roxie nodded mutely. She couldn’t help feeling flattered that he trusted her, especially after what had happened to him with that other woman.
“I’m not really a tour guide.”
She laughed nervously. “What do you mean?”
He leaned forward, shoulders tense, his eyes never leaving hers. “I’m a private duty air marshal undercover as a tour guide. I own my own security firm. Taylor Corben hired me because she’s received some threats against her airline and the resorts. She wants to make sure her guests are kept safe.”
Fear plunged a dagger in her heart.
He knows!
This wasn’t about him trusting her. He suspected she was a spy and he was testing her. That’s was probably why he’d come to her suite last night, but things had heated up between them and he’d gotten distracted.
And she’d allowed it to happen.
The fear escalated into panic. What was she going to say? She was a terrible liar. He’d caught her. She might as well surrender, confess and get it over with.
“Roxie,” Dougal’s voice broke through her rampant, runaway thoughts.
“Yes?” She trembled.
“You can’t tell anyone about this.”
She nodded. Everything was ruined. The early euphoria she’d felt fled like sunshine at nightfall. She couldn’t have him. There was no hope for salvaging anything between them. She’d betrayed him, and she had to tell Dougal the truth. Never mind that Porter Langley would be disappointed. Never mind that she wouldn’t get her promotion or that she’d be out of a job. She could find some other way to get the money for Stacy’s college. She could cash in her 401(k). There wasn’t much in it, but it might just be enough to pay for her sister’s next semester. She could take a second job, a third if necessary, but she couldn’t keep lying to Dougal.
In all honesty, she should have already told him. What she’d been doing was wrong and she had to set things right because she was falling in love with him.
Love.
The realization clubbed her. She hadn’t been looking for it. Hadn’t expected it, but there it was. She was in love with Dougal Lockhart. Her pulse quickened and her gut squeezed miserably.
She was in love with him, and she was about to hurt him as swiftly and as surely as that other woman who’d betrayed his trust and broken his heart.
“Dougal,” she said, “there’s something very important that I have to tell you, as well.”
He went suddenly still. Something in her tone of voice had given her away. “What is it?”
She dragged in a deep breath. “It’s a confession really.”
He inhaled audibly, and his gaze drilled a hole straight through her. “A confession?”
“I…” Nervously she ran her palms over the tops of her thighs. “I have an ulterior motive for being here.”
“And what’s that?” he asked.
She swallowed. This was the most difficult news she’d ever had to break to anyone, beyond telling Stacy their parents were never coming home. One sentence and he was never going to look at her the same away again. He’d just spoken of how much he trusted her, and in one breath she was going to take it all away. “This is hard to say.”
“Just open your mouth and spit it out.”
“I’m not who you think I am.”
Dougal looked completely and utterly crushed.
“I can explain everything,” Roxie said, but Dougal wasn’t responding.
“Dougal?” Her voice trembled.
He stared at her as if she was a stranger, his face expressionless. Dougal fisted his hands, a muscle jumped in his jaw, a frown dug deep into his brow. “You’re the saboteur.” He ground out the words.
Roxie blinked. What was he talking about? “Saboteur?”
He staggered to his feet.
“You.” He spat out the word. “You sabotaged the autopilot on the plane.”
“What?” She raised a hand to her mouth. Her stomach roiled. Please don’t be sick. “How would I know how to do something like that?”
“Maybe you had an accomplice. Or maybe the autopilot wasn’t part of the sabotage, and it was just a malfunction.”
“Huh?”
“You loosened the screws in the stage-light rigging. Anyone could have done it. You wouldn’t have to have specialized knowledge.”
She gaped at him, unable to believe what he was accusing her of. Speechless, she shook her head.
“You’re the one who decapitated the sprinklers. That’s a simple matter, as well.”
“What?” she repeated dumbly.
“And somehow you infected the computer system with a Trojan.”
“I didn’t,” she whimpered.
His face was pure fury now as he came toward her.
Fear mingled with remorse. She’d never seen him looking so angry. Roxie took three quick steps backward, her retreat halted only by the wall. Her knees locked like rusty hinges.
“Don’t lie to me,” he said.
“I could never do any of those things,” she cried. “I can’t believe you think that of me. Dougal, I’m not a saboteur. I swear.”
“Then what are you?”
“I’m…” She drew in a heavy breath. “I’m a corporate spy.”
He leaned in close, his big body crowding hers. “Who are you working for?”
“Getaway Airlines,” she admitted.
“Porter Langley sent you here?”
She nodded. “I wasn’t doing it for myself, I was doing it to—”
“You used me.”
Roxie stepped toward him, hand outstretched. “It wasn’t like that. It was…”
She stopped because what he said was true. Not that she’d slept with him to find out about Eros. By the time they’d made love, she’d forgotten all about the assignment. At that point she’d just been having fun, enjoying her adventure and…relating everything he told you about Eros right back to Mr. Langley.
Oh God, it had been exactly like that. Briefly she closed her eyes, knotted her fists. There was no way out of this.
“We have to talk,” she said, “and get this straightened out.”
“There’s nothing to straighten out.”
She understood the pain she’d caused him, and it rushed at her dark and hot. There was a hole in her heart, black and empty and guilty, so guilty. Roxie winced, cringed. “I did it for my sister. To get a promotion that would help keep her in college.”
“I don’t need to hear your excuses. The bottom line is I trusted you.” His eyes were hard and dark. He was trying to cloak his feelings, but she could see the hurt simmering in those murky depths. “I told you everything and you didn’t come clean with me. You betrayed my trust, Roxie.”
Anger shot through her. Yes, she was wrong, but there were two people in this room. She raised her chin defiantly. “I wasn’t the only one who was lying. You’re not really a tour guide.”
“I was undercover. It was my job.”
“And I was only doing my job. It’s okay for you to deceive me, but it’s not okay for me?” She sank her hands on her hips. “That’s a double standard if I ever heard one. You just wait for people to slip up so you can crow, ‘Oh, I knew I couldn’t trust them all along.’ You go around with suspicion sitting on your shoulder like Poe’s raven, just waiting for
someone to make a mistake. But look at your own behavior, Mr. Lockhart. How trustworthy have you been? Sounds like to me that you’ve got to learn to trust yourself, Dougal. I was wrong, yes, but I did it for the right reasons.”
“I guess that’s what you have to tell yourself in order to live with what you’re doing.”
Her anger fled. She was just so sorry things had ended up this way. She’d never wanted to be a spy in the first place. Roxie swallowed. “Dougal, I…please forgive me. I made a big mistake. You’ve got to forgive me because—”
“I won’t be played for a fool, Roxie. I thought we had something special, but now I see we don’t.”
Then he turned and walked out the door, leaving Roxie to sink down the length of the wall, plant her bottom on the carpet, draw her knees to her chest and sob her heart out.
DOUGAL HARDENED HIS HEART and stalked across the cobblestones, even as some small part of him whispered, Forgive.
Roxie was right after all. He was holding her to a different standard than he held himself. Why was it okay for him to deceive under the guise of his job, but it wasn’t okay for her to do the same thing?
He was in the right, dammit! He was protecting Taylor’s interests.
His inability to trust had led him here, just as she’d accused. He hadn’t really let down his guard with her, he’d only pretended. He’d held part of himself in reserve, waiting for the other shoe to drop and when it had, he’d felt vindicated.
But he sure as hell didn’t feel good.
She might be a corporate spy. She might have lied and done some unethical things, but her motives were honest. She was a good person at heart.
Forgive.
His old bullet wound ached. Absentmindedly Dougal rubbed his thigh. Then he hardened his chin and put Roxie out of his mind. He couldn’t worry about this now. If she wasn’t the saboteur, he had to determine who was.
His cell phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket and checked the caller ID. It was Taylor. “Hello?”
“Dougal,” Taylor snapped. “We’ve got a big problem. Get to a computer. We need to have a video conference call. Now.”
AFTER DOUGAL SLAMMED THE DOOR behind him, Roxie admitted the last time she’d felt this lonely, this utterly wretched, was the day she’d learned her parents had been killed. If they could see her now, they’d be so disappointed. The thought ate at her soul.
From the minute she’d agreed to her boss’s scheme, she’d known something bad was going to happen. She’d violated her principles, and in doing so, she’d betrayed herself as surely as she’d betrayed Dougal. How could she expect him to forgive her? She couldn’t forgive herself. She had knowingly done wrong, even if her motives had been noble.
What was that saying? The road to hell was paved with good intentions.
So what are you going to do about it?
She had to make amends. To herself. To Eros Airlines. To Dougal.
But how?
She needed someone to talk to about what had happened between her and Dougal. She couldn’t burden Stacy, but if she just had somebody objective she could tell, it might help her see things more clearly.
Jess and Sam. Yes. That was it. The twins were friendly and upbeat and they weren’t personally invested in the outcome. Roxie was certain they could bring a fresh perspective to her dilemma.
Happy to have something to do, somewhere to go and someone to confide in, Roxie picked herself up off the floor and went in search of the twins.
14
“WHAT’S UP?” DOUGAL ASKED Taylor when they had the video conference call connected. She looked royally pissed off, but she’d refused to tell him what had her so upset. She said she wanted him to see for himself.
“I want you to go to this blog,” Taylor said and gave him the Internet address.
Dougal tapped it in, and a second later up popped a blog with the headline: Our Eros Vacation. On the right side was a photograph of Jess and Sam.
“What am I looking for?’ Dougal asked as he started reading the blog.
“Scroll down.”
He did and more photographs popped into view, photographs not of the twin sisters, but of him and Roxie. There was one of them kissing in the punt. It looked as if it had been snapped from above, as if Sam and Jess had lain in wait on one of the bridges on the Cam to catch them at exactly the wrong moment. There was a picture of them climbing down the bell-tower steps together, holding hands. Another photograph depicted Dougal and Roxie onstage when they’d recited the sonnet together, their lips mere inches apart. But it was the last photograph that killed his soul. It was a shot of him and Roxie leaving the dungeon together, their clothes askew, their faces flushed, and he was looking at Roxie with such love on his face that a blind man could have seen his feelings for her.
Beside the photographs were snarky little captions all designed to draw attention to the fact that an Eros tour guide was behaving inappropriately with a guest of the resort.
“I’m so sorry, Taylor.”
“Who is this woman?”
“She’s a spy for Porter Langley,” Dougal said.
“Is she the same person who has been sabotaging my resorts?”
“No.”
“Well I gotta tell you, Dougal.” Taylor ran a hand through her hair. “This feels just the same as sabotage.”
“I’m truly sorry, Taylor. Of course I will give you back your fee,” he said. “I not only didn’t do my job, but I exhibited unprofessional behavior.”
“That’s not necessary. I just wanted to know if you were okay. After what happened in Germany, this must be a blow to discover the woman you’re in love with is a corporate spy who was just using you.”
The pain in his chest stabbed fresh and sharp. “I’m not in love with her,” he denied.
“Oh, Dougal, you don’t have to lie to me.”
His shoulders slumped, his heart slid to his feet. “It’s that obvious?”
“If I could, I’d reach out and give you a big hug.”
He snorted. “It was my own stupidity.”
“Are you sure she doesn’t feel anything for you?”
He shook his head. “I’m not sure of anything anymore, Taylor.”
“May I give you a piece of advice from someone who denied love for too long?”
He shrugged. “If you think it will help.”
“Go to her, tell her how you feel. Even if she doesn’t feel the same way, it’s better to know where you stand than to keep forever guessing.”
“AND THAT’S THE WHOLE sordid story,” Roxie said to Jess and Sam after she’d related everything that had happened.
They were all submerged in a bubbly hot tub just off the lobby of the resort, underneath a pergola.
“Wow,” Sam said, “that’s some tale.”
“I would never have taken you for a spy,” Jess added.
Roxie thought confessing her sins to the twins would make her feel better, but it had not. On the contrary, she was more miserable than ever and no closer to a solution.
Sam lifted a glass of wine to her lips. “I think—” She broke off and her eyes widened.
“Um, oh,” Jess said, staring in the same direction as her sister.
Roxie swiveled her head to see what had captured the twins’ attention.
It was Dougal. Stalking straight toward them and glowering darkly.
Thrill at the sight of him and fear at the fierce displeasure in his eyes squeezed Roxie’s heart. What had she done now?
Jess and Sam were suddenly scrambling out of the hot tub, grabbing for their bathrobes and towels. They looked supremely guilty.
What was going on?
“Hey,” Dougal said, breaking into a trot. “Stop right there, you two.”
“Um…” Jess raised a hand, sent him a dazzling smile. “Hi, Dougal.”
“Don’t give me that,” Dougal barked, his long legs taking him to the edge of the hot tub. He never even glanced in Roxie’s direction. “I know what you’ve been up to.�
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Confused by the turn of events, Roxie slogged from the water. Feeling extremely exposed, she reached for her own robe, pulled it over her one-piece bathing suit and belted it at the waist. She glanced from Dougal to the twins and back again.
“You ambushed me and Roxie. Took compromising pictures of us and posted them on the Internet,” he accused.
Jess and Sam looked sheepish.
Befuddled, Roxie pushed her damp hair off her face and tried to understand what he was saying.
“Who hired you to sabotage Eros?” Dougal demanded.
Jess and Sam were the saboteurs? Roxie’s mouth dropped open.
“You did something to disrupt the autopilot on the Eros jet,” Dougal continued. “You loosened the stage lighting so it would fall. You destroyed the sprinklers—”
“Whoa, hey.” Sam held up her palms. “Wait just a darn minute. We’re not involved in anything like that.”
Dougal’s scowl deepened. “Then what are you involved in?”
Jess darted a nervous glance toward Roxie and wet her lips. “Um, could we have this discussion in private?”
For the first time since he’d arrived, Dougal looked at Roxie. His expression was unreadable, but she was getting weird vibes from both him and the twins. “What is going on?” she demanded.
“We might as well just tell her,” Sam said to her sister. “She’s going to find out.”
“Tell me what?” Roxie’s bare feet chilled against the redwood decking, but it wasn’t so much from the cool springtime air as from the discussion.
Jess shifted her weight but didn’t meet Roxie’s eyes. “Because,” she told Dougal, “we were playing matchmaker.”
“Matchmaker?” Dougal and Roxie said in unison.
“We got you to take us on the punt, and then we arranged for Mike and David to show up so we could force you and Dougal to be alone together,” Sam said.
“In a romantic venue,” Jess added. “And under titillating circumstances.”
“But why would you do that?” Roxie asked.
Jess slid her twin a look. Sam nodded, giving her the go-ahead. “Porter Langley hired us to make sure Roxie had an affair with one of the Eros staff members.”
