Love Patterns

by Michael B. Malone

  She eventually gave a gasp and buried her face in my shoulder and I stroked her hair until her breathing slowed.

  She looked up into my face, her eyes liquid, and whispered, “That was nice Bill.”

  I smiled and unwound her arms from my neck, finished washing her, then helped her lower herself into the bath to wash the soapy water off, trying not to let her see how aroused I was. She jumped out of the bath and as I dried her hair she rubbed her belly against the front of my shorts. I tried to stifle a moan. Before I could stop her, she crouched down and pulled my shorts down to my ankles and lightly stroked my erection.

  “No Jerie,” I moaned and pulled my lower body back, but she moved with me, her belly rotating against me.

  I bent forward to protect myself but now my face was level with her breasts. She guided her nipple into my mouth, gasping at the touch of my tongue.

  She pushed my head lower. “Kiss me here,” she commanded, pointing between her thighs.

  I knelt before her and obeyed, loving her throaty sighs of pleasure. I was taken by surprise, as she suddenly squirmed away from my questing tongue and pushed me back. I managed to get my hands behind me to stop myself from falling and tried to rise but she pushed me back again. I couldn’t get up, as my shorts were still around my ankles.

  “You promised,” she moaned and positioned herself over my throbbing member and bore down.

  After a few attempts she cursed in frustration. “Help me Bill,” she begged, and allowed me to sit up.

  As I held onto her to stop myself from falling back again, her mouth closed over mine sucking my resistance from me. With my heart pounding I gripped her bottom and pulled her towards me. I could almost feel the tearing as she screamed.

  Her teeth clamped onto the muscle of my shoulder just below the neck and I screamed in turn. Panting, we held each other then she slowly started to move. Our mouths searched and found each other. We screamed simultaneously and held each other for a long time, whispering our love, our voices soft, while her hips continued to make small movements as if reluctant to admit her passion was spent.

  We rose eventually and examined each other’s wounds, then had a bath together, constantly touching each other as if to reassure ourselves we weren’t dreaming. We went out for dinner to celebrate at last becoming man and wife. In bed that night I tried to get her to agree to wait until she’d healed, but she aroused me, and I couldn’t resist her. She fell asleep in my arms giving small sighs of contentment, her right arm in its usual position around my waist but now with the fingers of her left hand curled possessively round my now soft member, as if to emphasize her new part-ownership.

  I went over the events in my mind. She had planned everything. Arriving mud caked, asking me to bathe her, the disappearance of the sponge and cloths, pulling my shorts down to my ankles and getting me to kneel then pushing me back so I was helpless to resist. I remembered her scream and my pain as she’d bit me. It was a strange mix, pain sorrow at her deflowering and joy, yet the joy was the greatest. I pulled her closer and encircling her with my arms, I fell asleep. For the rest of the week we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. We slept late to recover from our exhaustion, then our stamina restored, we started our lovemaking again. When it came time to take Jerie back to school, I felt relief as my member was sore and I was near collapse.

  I unloaded her bike and stored it in the shed, then not wishing to meet Miss Robertson’s all-seeing eyes, I left, after giving Jerie a quick hug, assuring her I’d see her for her next holiday. I tidied up the chalet, caught a taxi to the airport and flew home.

  Excerpt from Jerie’s diary.

  Bill took me to Britain to see the film. It was strange seeing myself on the screen. I met the stars and was on the television. When the girls at school saw it, they were jealous, and some were a bit rude.

  Bill hired a house in Nairobi for my holiday and I told him I wanted to cook for him, so I put some herbs that was supposed to make him love me, but they didn’t work. So, I made another plan, and it worked! I am his wife at last.

  It was beautiful to have him inside me, as if he belonged there and was part of me as if we were joined. I love him, I love him, I really love him, I really, really, really, really love him.

  Chapter 17

  Kathleen was promoted to deputy headmistress of her school and we went out for dinner to celebrate. She had to take a lot more work home as she still had her normal class.

  I got down to writing my next novel, interrupted a few times by supply teaching. I took Kathleen to Copenhagen to make up for her missed holiday. Money seemed to be flooding into my account with book and film royalties. On a strong hunch, I invested quite a bit of it in the Japanese and Hong Kong economies which were starting to boom. We still wrote to Jerie, and phoned every Sunday and despite my apprehension Jerie never hinted at our new relationship. I was careful to suppress my eagerness but Jerie’s summer holidays were approaching. I asked Kathleen if she preferred me to bring Jerie home or if she wanted to go to Kenya.

  She thought for a moment. “I have an awful lot of work to get through during the holidays William. You go to Kenya and if you want, bring her back for a few days at Christmas.”

  I nodded, trying to look disappointed. “I’ll maybe journey around Africa with her, or maybe take her to India and Japan, I’ve always wanted to see these places.” Kathleen smiled.

  I flew to Kenya a week later, booked into a hotel and hired a car. When I collected Jerie there was something new in her smile that made me slightly apprehensive although she was a model of decorum until we were out of sight of the school when she unbuttoned her blouse so that one breast was uncovered.

  “I’ve missed you Bill,” she murmured.

  With an effort I kept my eyes on the road until we came to a stretch of light bush and bumped far enough into it, so we were hidden from the road. Before the car came to a stop we were ripping our clothes off, then completely naked we made love with Jerie sitting on the bonnet of the car. Afterwards she started bouncing up and down holding onto my neck and trying to pull herself up.

  “Lift me off Bill!” she screamed.

  I put my hands round her bottom to find it was roasting. When she was standing I blew on it and fanned it with my hands.

  “I need and ice cream to cool it down,” she moaned.

  I felt the car bonnet, I’d forgotten how hot metal got in the sun. We dressed and went back to the hotel where we stayed for a week to make up for our long separation, then we visited the Far East.

  Excerpt from Jerie’s diary.

  Bill met me at the school for the summer holidays. I needed him so much I made him drive the car into the jungle and make love. I got blisters on my bottom sitting on the hot bonnet of the car. I hope he doesn’t stroke it too much tonight.

  He took me to India where the smells were strange, and the people didn’t smile like they do at home. We saw the Taj Mahal, then, went to Hong Kong and then to Japan, which was strange and very clean with not much smell, and the people not so miserable.

  When we went to Dundee for Christmas, I was very careful and stayed in my own bed or Kathleen’s except for one night, when I went to Bill’s bed and we made love very quietly and I tiptoed back to my own bed before Kathleen was awake.

  Chapter 18

  There are three things that can never be hid. A mountain, a man riding a camel, and a man in love. ARAB PROVERB

  “Are you having an affair with Jerie?” Kathleen looked me straight in the eye.

  ‘Oh! God!’ I thought. I knew that she had to find out eventually.

  “Yes,” I answered, mentally quailing.

  “But she’s only sixteen William.”

  “I know,” I nodded miserably.

  “You are nearly thirty years older than her!”

  I nodded, wishing that I had a hole to crawl into.

  “And you are her adopted father.”

  “I had to do that to save her from the slum camp.”

  �
�Did you plan this from the beginning?”

  “No, it just happened.”

  “I ought to divorce you.”

  “You said that you wouldn’t mind if I had an affair.”

  “But not with a sixteen-year old girl.”

  “Do you want me to move out?”

  “Do you still love me.?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you love Jerie?”

  “Yes, but not in the same way.”

  Kathleen smiled, “I knew when she was thirteen that this was inevitable.”

  “How?” I asked, astonished.

  “By the way she looked at you, and …”, she smiled again. “She told me she wanted to be your Kenya wife, but I would always be the senior wife.”

  “Oh! God,” I groaned.

  “I’ve never seen you both look so happy,” she paused. “Did she force you?”

  I could only nod.

  “Well I don’t want you sleeping with her when I’m around, that would be too much.”

  I fell asleep that night in my bed, my mind in a daze.

  Jerie left school with good grades and started work in a local hospital prior to nursing training. She told me she’d met David Balfour who had treated her for her sickness and who was now working in the same hospital. I bought her an apartment and started a bank account for her with enough in it to make her quite a rich young lady by Kenyan standards. I travelled out regularly and stayed with her in her apartment.

  Excerpt from Jerie’s diary.

  Bill bought me an apartment! It’s marvellous to have my own place where my husband can come to stay, and I can cook for him, and look after him. I am a real wife now. I think sometimes I make him love me too much, because he looks tired when he goes back to Britain, but I can’t help it.

  He is getting good at seeing people’s patterns. I wonder when he will discover my secret? I love him.

  Chapter 19

  I watched Jerie in the dim light. I touched her cheek and let my fingers follow the line of her neck down to her shoulder. She sighed in her sleep and cuddled closer and I savoured the warmth and softness of her.

  I felt my senses heighten and looked around her, out of the corners of my eyes the way she had taught me. I watched the shining patterns, then my vision expanded, and I became aware of a shadow in, and yet behind her pattern. I shivered and felt my senses swirling away. I held Jerie in my arms and she was cold. I shook her and moaned “Jerie,” but even as I shook her I knew she was dead. I shook harder, but her eyes were lifeless.

  I came back to myself. Jerie was holding my arms and crying, “Bill, Bill.”

  I took a deep breath and my eyes focused. “What is wrong Bill?” she asked. “I thought you were going to shake my head off!”

  “Just a bad dream. I’m sorry love.” I muttered.

  I pulled her close and felt her relax. Soon her deep breathing started again. I embraced her warmth countering the coldness I’d felt in my vision. I lay awake for a long time thinking. I knew with a knowledge that came from deep inside me that I’d seen a vision of the future. Jerie was going to die in my arms. I stroked her back and her firm bottom and cried silently. I slept late the next morning.

  After breakfast I told Jerie that I had someone to see, and left. I walked to the park, brooding all the way, wishing I had someone to ask advice from. I wandered all over the park, hands in my pockets. The vision returned in all its horror. Again, I felt the coldness of her body eating in to me. The vision faded, and I remembered her warmth, her grin, the sheer beautiful essence of her. Eventually I sighed. I knew what I had to do.

  Feet dragging, I made my way back to the apartment and as I opened the door and she looked up from the settee. Her huge grin made my heart turn over. She jumped up and wrapped her arms around my neck. I gently disentangled them.

  She took my hand and pulled me inside. “What is wrong Bill?” she asked.

  “Jerie?”

  Her eyes were large and serious. “Yes Bill?”

  “I’ve decided its time I got out of your life.” She didn’t say anything she just stared. I forced myself to continue “You are a young woman, you will meet someone your own age and get married.”

  “I am married Bill, to you,” she whispered.

  “I am an old man and I can’t give you children.”

  “You are not old, and I don’t want children.”

  I turned away, so she wouldn’t see my face.

  “Jerie I’m going to leave now, and I won’t be back.”

  “But Bill I love you.”

  Her voice almost broke my heart. I glanced at her. She had sunk onto the settee. The stricken look on her face was like a knife in my belly. I gritted my teeth.

  “The apartment is in your name, and there is enough money in your bank account to make you quite a rich young lady. I’ll come back for my stuff later.”

  She spoke through tears. “I don’t want your money, I want you Bill. I’ll follow you wherever you go, I know you love me.” The appeal in her voice almost made me change my mind.

  I closed my eyes. The vision clutched at me with icy fingers. I took a deep breath. I had to drive her away. She’d hate me, but she’d get over it and the vision would never get a chance to come true. I turned my face from her and forced the

  words out.

  “I’m a famous writer now, I don’t want to be seen with a …” I bit my tongue … “a black girl.”

  She gave a strangled cry and I glanced back. Her face had crumpled. I stifled a moan at the abject misery in her eyes. I had to use all my willpower not to take her in my arms.

  I rushed out the door shouting, “Goodbye!” over my shoulder, so she wouldn’t see my tears.

  When I got down the stairs, I sat on the bottom step and sobbed, hugging myself as I rocked backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards, trying to rock the pain away. I remembered what I’d been about to say, and shuddered, but even to save her life I couldn’t call her a nigger girl. I cried again. A long time later I staggered to my feet and wandered off.

  I looked up. I was back in Jerie’s street. I glanced at my watch. Four hours had passed. I felt as if I’d walked for miles, but couldn’t remember where I’d been. Stark misery overwhelmed me. I decided to collect my belongings as Jerie would be at work. I trudged up the stairs and paused at her door. Her presence would still be in the apartment, accusing me, making me feel even more guilty. I pulled myself together and unlocked the door.

  My heart started hammering. I knew something was wrong. I looked round the room, but nothing was out of place. I looked in the bedroom, her nurse’s uniform was on the bed. I tried the bathroom door. It was locked. A feeling of dread threatened to overwhelm me, I thumped on the door and shouted. The silence unnerved me, and I panicked and started kicking the door, but it didn’t budge. I took a run at it and hit it full force with my shoulder. The lock gave, and I fell over a body. Jerie was lying crumpled on the bathroom floor. I picked up the empty bottle beside her and read the label … Paracetamol.

  Chapter 20

  I lifted Jerie’s shoulders off the floor. Her head fell limply to her chest. Shaking with fear, I felt her pulse. It was so weak I wasn’t sure I really detected it.

  I slapped her face lightly and shouted. “JERIE! WAKE UP!” There was no response.

  I fought down my panic, phoned the hospital and asked for Doctor Balfour, shouting that it was urgent. A few moments later I heard his voice.

  I interrupted. “It’s Bill Munro here David, Jerie has taken an overdose of Paracetamol, she’s unconscious, what should I do?”

  “Good God.” There was a moments silence, then David spoke, his voice now that of a doctor. “Turn her on her side, make sure she can breathe, try to make her sick, stroke the back of her throat with your finger. I’ll have an ambulance there in a few minutes. What’s the address?”

  I stuttered out the address. Before the phone clicked off, I heard David’s voice shouting orders.

  I fought down my pan
ic and turned Jerie on her side. I tickled the back of her throat and her chest heaved but nothing came up. I tried again and again and eventually a gush of sickness and green bile spouted from her mouth.

  “I’m sorry darling,” I sobbed. “I only wanted what was best for you, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

  I continued, trying to make her sick, not knowing what I was saying. An ambulance siren sounded in the distance, gradually coming closer. I made sure Jerie’s mouth was clear, ran out of the flat and leaped down the stairs two or three at a time. I waited impatiently at the edge of the kerb. The ambulance appeared at the end of the street and I waved frantically. The vehicle screeched to a stop next to me and David leapt out.

  “Where is she?” he barked as he dashed to the back of the ambulance.

  “On the second floor!” I cried. “The door’s open”

  “Show us!” ordered David, carrying an armful of equipment.

  I dashed up the stairs into the apartment and indicated the bathroom. David rushed past me followed by an assistant also carrying equipment. The ambulance driver followed, carrying a stretcher and glanced into the bathroom. He left the stretcher outside and went to help. I tried to see what was going on. David had rammed a funnel into Jerie’s mouth and was pouring some liquid into her from a large bottle. There was a hose attached to the sink tap. One medic was squeezing Jerie’s stomach while the other was doing something with bottles and tubes. Jerie’s body started to heave as she vomited.

  “That’s a good girl,” David muttered ramming the funnel back into her mouth and pouring more liquid in.

  I backed out and walked backwards and forwards in the lounge, praying frantically.

  It seemed ages later that the driver appeared to pick up the stretcher.

  “How is she?” I asked, but he shrugged and returned to the bathroom.

  A short time later the two assistants appeared, carrying Jerie, still unconscious and strapped to the stretcher. David followed behind, carrying an armload of equipment. I helped him, and we rushed down the stairs. We climbed into the back of the ambulance, where Jerie was strapped to a bench at the side. David thumped the window and the ambulance sped away, siren blaring. He turned to help the other medic, who was tending to Jerie.