by M. R. Forbes
“Mod help was a cheat to instantiate the public mod most closely matching the query. I also used cheat god-mode to keep you from getting knocked out when he hit you.”
Damn. I hadn’t realized his finger should have killed me.
“What the hell are we supposed to do to stop that?” I asked, pointing at Ralphie. He had seen Ash die, too, and now he was storming our way.
“I don’t know if we can,” Prithi said. “That’s why people negotiate with Dealers. The ones who sell the best toys, well, they have the best fucking toys.”
“I need that spell,” I said. “Think of something.”
She bit her lip. That’s what gave away the fact that she was holding out.
“Prithi,” I said. “Whatever it is you have in reserve, use it.”
Ralphie was only a few steps away. Dannie joined us, looking up at him.
“I don’t want to get banned,” she whimpered.
That was it? Was she afraid the cheat was too major for Aldus not to notice?
That was a cheat I wanted to use.
“Every living thing on the planet, remember?” I said, mentioning the stakes.
“But, Conor,” she replied, hesitant.
“Prithi, do it,” Dannie said.
Prithi made a pouty face, stomped her feet a couple of times, and then enabled the cheat.
“Cheat dead weight.”
Nothing happened.
“Uh, Prithi,” I said. “I think you did something wrong.”
“It’s active,” Prithi replied. “Wait for it. It’ll be good.”
Ralphie had reached us, a hundred feet tall. He lifted one of his massive boots, holding it over us.
“Payday,” he said, his voice echoing like thunder.
“Prithi,” I shouted, looking up at the sole coming down toward us.
“Wait for it,” she replied.
“Wait for what?”
I shrunk down as the boot reached us. Prithi didn’t. Neither did Dannie. The sole hit their heads, and I watched them get pushed through the floor. A moment later the boot hit me, and I joined them.
We didn’t get crushed. We didn’t die. We sank, right through the ground, fifty or so feet to the next level of the Machine. We sank through the sky, two miles of it, all the way to the ground again, reaching a busy street filled with avatars. We sank through that, through the floor again, and out onto a third level. As we neared the the ground, the sign for the Vice district came into view, and when we were a couple of meters over the pavement Prithi said “end cheat,” and we fell the rest of the way, finally solid again.
“That was amazing,” Dannie said.
“Yeah, amazing,” I agreed, with a lot less enthusiasm.
“Geez, Conor,” Prithi said. “I got you to the Vice district in like thirty-seven seconds by dropping through the Machine’s matrices. That’s some Grade-A talent at work.”
“She also saved you from Ralphie.”
“Can you save someone if they can’t die?” I asked.
“Stop being an asshole,” Dannie said.
“Okay, okay. You’re right. Nice work, Prithi.”
“Thank you, Conor.”
“Where’s the Scourge?”
Prithi looked around nervously, waiting for Aldus to come and kick us out, I guess. She gave it a few seconds, and then seemed to relax.
“This way.”
We followed her down a street crowded with the usual mix of avatars. Only about fifty percent looked fully human, the rest were like something out of a comicon. I was mostly used to the scene by now, although the nature of the Vice district made this scene a little more x-rated than I would have preferred. Too much T, D, and A not being contained in clothing. Too many avatars disproportioned or with odd counts. I felt icky being there, and I wrapped my coat tighter around myself to make sure there was no accidental touching.
Prithi noticed my disgust, and I assume she agreed to some extent, because she said “cheat clean” and all of my troubles went away. The naughty bits turned into just that, overly pixelated washes that hid the most dirty assets in sight from my direct observation.
“Thanks,” I said.
“Agreed,” Dannie said, surprising me. Was she finally starting to settle? Or was this just too much even for her current state of mind?
“If deadweight didn’t get us banned, clean won’t,” she said. “It’s one of the most common cheats in the Machine.”
The Scourge was two blocks up, a black cube sitting on the side of the street, with a steady stream of customers moving in and out. We joined the line, progressing smoothly and getting in within a few minutes. It was a standard Machine meeting place. Gambling tables, strippers, booze. There was heavier stuff going on in the back, behind a big steel door. Stuff that was sure to be illegal in the real world.
“I hope our guy isn’t back there,” I said.
“I know,” Prithi agreed. “Do you know how much it costs to get back there?”
That wasn’t my point at all. “No. And I never want to. How do you know?”
She bit her lip again. “It’s Azeban’s job to know.”
I wasn’t sure if she was lying or just half-truthing it. Whatever.
“We don’t know who our Messenger is, or what he looks like,” I said. “You’re the king or queen or whichever at this. What’s our play?”
“I’ll see if I can find someone I recognize,” Prithi said. “They might be able to point me in the right direction. Dannie, can I have Red’s card?”
“Sure.” Dannie fished it out of her shirt and handed it to Prithi.
I was suddenly sort of glad Ashiira had gotten killed. He would have had a fit thinking about how much this was going to cost.
“Excuse me,” someone said behind me. The voice was vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t place it.
Prithi looked at me, and then at the speaker. The way her mouth dropped open told me that I probably shouldn’t turn around.
I did anyway, and found myself face to face with Aldus Jones.
“You?” he said, seeing me.
“Tell me about it,” I replied.
He shook his head. “Why is it that every time you’re in here, I get called in for an emergency?”
“Just my luck, I guess.”
“Seriously. What is it this time? Dragon trying to take over the world?”
“Lich,” I said. “Undead mother fucker. Not a dragon.”
“I was joking.”
“I wasn’t.”
“Aldus, I’m sorry,” Prithi said. “We went to see Ralphie, and he went apeshit on us.”
“Yeah, I just talked to Ralphie. He got a six month ban for his trouble. You should have heard his whining. Who’s this Samedi he’s talking about?”
“The lich,” I said. “This is real world trouble. We need to get to the Bank.” I decided to go for it. “Maybe you can help us?”
He put up his hand. “I’m not totally up on current events, but this is what I’ve got. Black is dead. Red may be dead. There’s some kind of viral outbreak in London that’s got them shutting down the airports, and you’re here. Again. Is it all related?”
“I haven’t heard anything about a viral outbreak,” I said. “I can take partial credit for the rest of it. Believe me, I don’t want to be here, but I need a spell that’s in the Bank, or there’s going to be a lot of people having a very bad day.”
“I’m already having a bad day,” Aldus said. He looked at Prithi. “You overstepped. Big time. Whatever you’re here for, find another way to get it.”
“What?” Prithi said. “Aldus, wait-”
He snapped his fingers.
The world flashed dark for a second, and then I jolted up in my chair, heart pounding.
“A year?” I heard Prithi shout nearby. “Son of a bitch.”
We’d officially been banned from the Machine for cheating.
Fuck.
17
London calling.
“This is such bullshi
t,” Prithi said. “Total and utter bullshit. You told him the deal, and he didn’t even try to listen. Just snap, you’re fucked, along with the rest of the entire fucking world.”
“What was with that mod clean bullshit anyway?” Amos asked. “You ruined a perfectly good viewing of perverted losers in their natural habitat.”
“You mean your natural habitat?” I said. “How can you even be thinking about that right now?”
He shrugged. “I’m a simple man, Baldie.”
“What are we supposed to do now?” Frank asked. “If the spell was in the Machine, and you’re banned from the Machine.”
“Like I said,” Prithi said. “We’re fucked.”
“You know Pissy,” Amos said. “There’s something about the way you say fucked in that accent of yours that’s kind of hot.”
“Shut up,” Dannie said. “Seriously, Amos. For once, just try to be helpful.”
“You don’t think my comments are helpful?”
“No,” I said. “Let’s all just take a step back for a second. Breathe deep and regroup.”
“You sound like a Yoga instructor,” Amos said.
I ignored him, closing my eyes. This was bad. Really bad. How were we supposed to recover from losing the spell?
“I can go get everyone another beer, if it helps,” Frank offered.
“I’ll take one,” Amos said.
“Me, too,” Ash said.
I opened my eyes to look at the dragon-cum-human. “You drink?”
“I do now.”
“Right on, brother,” Amos said.
Frank disappeared while we each took to ourselves, staying mostly quiet until he came back carrying a couple of six-packs. He passed them out, and I decided to take one. Why not?
“Let’s think about this logically,” Dannie said.
Of course, she would say that. She had always been the planner. The procedural one. I had missed that.
“Logically, we’re fucked,” Amos said.
“Enough,” Dannie said, forcefully enough that Amos looked down at his beer and stayed quiet. “We were looking for a spell that would open a portal between this world and the afterlife.”
“It sounds crazy when you put it like that,” Frank said.
“Yes,” Dannie agreed. “Except the spell exists, we just can’t get to it. At least not the version that’s in Tarakona’s hoard in the Machine.”
“Thus, fucked,” Amos said.
“But where did Tarakona get the spell? It had to originate somewhere. Ash?”
He tapped his fingers on the can for a few seconds before shaking his head. “I don’t know. I can tell you it was old. Very old.”
“It would have to be,” I said. “The reversal shut off magic for most of us, but there were some things, like Death, like Tarakona, that managed to survive, even if they were in hibernation. A spell that powerful had to come from the old world.”
“Let’s go with that,” Dannie said. “So what if there’s an artifact with the spell in it? An old book, maybe?”
“Like this one,” I said, fishing it out of my coat. “It isn’t in here.”
“Older than that one.”
“Maybe on a stone tablet,” Amos said. “Fucking ten commandments style.”
“Or older than that,” Frank said. “What if it’s painted on a cave wall somewhere?”
“A cave wall,” I said. “Right. There can’t be too many caves in the world.”
“That’s not the point,” Dannie said. “We have a choice to say we’re fucked and give up, or we have a choice to try to figure this out. Conor, do you want your daughter to get turned into a zombie?”
“Of course not. I’m doing this for her more than anyone.”
“Then we don’t give up. Which House has the most interest in antiquities?”
“Besides Black?” I said.
“My father collected a lot of magical artifacts, but he wasn’t all that into their history or the history of the magical fields and the Reversal. I’m thinking someone who cares a bit more about where all of this stuff came from.”
“I can probably help you with that,” Mr. Yellow said, entering the room with Cecil.
“Great,” Frank said. “That’ll save us some trouble.”
“Hold on, Frank,” I said. “This isn’t a charitable offer.”
“Oh.”
“What do you want?” I asked.
Yellow smiled. “The Houses don’t always get along, necromancer, but there are a few things that we agree on. Foremost of those is that our power gives us a responsibility to take care of those without any. To be the protectors of the magically deaf, even as we carry on our little power struggles amongst ourselves.”
“Meaning what?” Prithi said.
“There’s some trouble in London. Control’s cordoned off a few blocks, and they’re trying to keep it localized, but it seems like it may grow out of control.”
“Why don’t you head over there and fix it?” I asked. “You’ve got more magic in your pinkie than the five of us combined.”
“As much as death magic disgusts me, necromancer, I think in this case you’re the magician best suited for the job. This is Samedi’s work. The dead are walking.”
“You said before that was starting to happen everywhere,” Frank said.
“Yes, but he seems to be putting a lot more focus on London. The other incidents so far are relatively isolated, as if he’s just testing the extent of his power. From the reports I’ve received, this is close to becoming a full-on disaster.”
It was odd to hear the head of a House use a word like that. Desperate times, I guess.
“You’re saying you want us to confront Samedi?” I said. “We didn’t get what we were looking for in the Machine. Aldus kicked us out for cheating. Without it, I don’t know if we can stand up to him.”
And I didn’t want to find out.
“Besides,” Dannie said. “It could be a trap. We already know he wants to get his hands on Ashiira, and probably Conor, too.”
“Or maybe there’s something else he wants,” Yellow said. “Something you haven’t considered. Something that may be hiding in London.”
“Like what?” Frank asked.
“What if Samedi knows you want to stop him? What if he knows how you want to do it?”
“You’re saying he knows about the spell?” I asked.
“Conjecture only,” Yellow replied. “But he killed Mr. Red before you could get the spell from him, and he did his best to get you out of the Machine. What if he knows what you’re hunting, and he’s trying to keep you from getting it?”
“Or he’s trying to get it before we do,” I said.
“That would suck,” Amos said. “It means sooner or later we’re going to butt heads, and there’s a good chance we won’t have the spell when we do.”
“Which would mean we’re toast,” Frank said.
“I’ve called another wizard-moot,” Mr. Yellow said. “We’re going to discuss the current situation and come to a decision on the best path to resolving it. In the meantime, if there are more dead being raised in London, then I think London is where you should go.”
“What if it’s a dead end?” I asked.
“Then I’ll do my best to help you find another path. You have my word.”
“You don’t sound too confident the rest of the Houses are going to rise to the occasion,” Amos said.
“Not all of the Houses are as outwardly considerate as I am.”
“I thought you just said you all agree you need to protect the innocent?” Frank said.
“I did, but the innocence of a group tends to be a matter of very personal perspective, and not every wizard believes that our non-magical counterparts are worthy of our intervention.”
“How very malignant of you,” Amos said.
“I can only speak for myself,” Yellow replied. “What do you say?”
I shrugged. “I’m not feeling much like I have a choice.”
�
�You always have a choice, Conor. You might not like the options, but they’re still options.”
Maybe he was right, but it sure didn’t feel like it. I had been trying to navigate the edge of the storm, to get around it without going through. Apparently, that wasn’t in the cards.
“I can’t ask any of you to come with me,” I said, looking at the others around me.
I wanted to call them my friends, but I didn’t feel like they were. Not because of them. Well, maybe in Amos’ case because of him. Otherwise, because of me. What kind of friend did the things I did? What kind of friend was so willing to sacrifice people who trusted them for their own fear?
“I’m in,” Frank said without hesitation.
“You know I am, too,” Dannie said.
“We’re brothers,” Ashiira said. “Bound by blood and magic. I am with you.”
Prithi and Amos stayed quiet. I didn’t blame them.
“Amos,” Dannie said. “What the fuck?”
“I was just thinking,” he replied. “The end of days are coming, you know? Do I want to spend them in a futile effort to stop it from happening, or do I want to spend them with some horsey girls in Vegas? You know what I mean?”
“You’re impossible,” she said. “Personally, I think you’re afraid.”
“That ain’t it.”
“Bullshit,” I said. “You’ve always been squeamish around my corpses. You’re afraid of dead people.”
“Who the fuck ain’t afraid of dead people? They’re almost as creepy as clowns. If I only got a few days left to live, I want to spend them relaxed and pampered.”
“Forget it, Dannie,” I said. “I don’t want to waste any more time trying to convince tubby to do the right thing for once. If he wants to give up, let him give up.”
“Oh, I’m so hurt by your cruel taunts, Baldie.”
“Okay. What about you, Prithi?”
“I’m happy to do what I can from here, but I’m not good in the field.”
“I don’t call her Pissy for nothing,” Amos said.
“How much can you do?” I asked. “You’re banned from the Machine.”
“Not everything goes through the Machine. I can still be useful remotely. Come on, Conor, you know I would just get in your way.”
I couldn’t argue with that. “Okay. Ash, can you zap us over?”
