Kabir had even asked if they could find a place in Mumbai to live in together later. Avantika said she would talk about it when the time came. She should have shot it down, there and then! And how could he ask something like that? He knew that Avantika was dating me. We slept that night without talking to each other. Train journeys are extremely romantic, but the fight had drained the romance out of it.
We had the most hectic semester staring right at our faces.
Things were a little easier for Avantika since she had better grades and she already had a job. I scrambled inside the class at the last second and looked for Avantika. I had overslept, but my body still wanted more.
‘This class?’ the strategic management professor grumbled.
‘Yes, sir,’ I said meekly. I looked for Avantika in the class.
‘Firstly, you are late for the class! And then you can’t find a seat to sit?’ he growled. ‘No attendance for you. You can leave if you want to.’
‘Okay, sir.’ I decided to stay and not piss off the professor any more.
‘Sit anywhere and stop disturbing the class,’ he said sternly.
I sat on the first bench and cursed myself. Not the brightest start to a semester, I thought. I still tried to spot Avantika from the corner of my eyes but I could not. I texted her and asked where she was.
Right behind you. Last bench.
I waited for the professor to write something on the board so that I could look back. Last bench … she sat right next to that son of a bitch, Kabir. She was laughing. Nice. Just perfect.
It was a terrible start to the semester. I had missed attendance and Avantika was sitting with the guy I hated the most. I texted her just to make sure she wasn’t talking to him, and she replied in a single ‘K’ and it made me even more uncomfortable. The next few messages met with the same treatment. I stopped sending them, and I kept looking back at the two of them. I heard them laughing again. Bastard.
‘You two,’ the professor pointed at the last bench. The class looked at Avantika and Kabir.
‘Get up,’ he said.
They were still smiling.
‘Can you please share the joke with us too?’ he bellowed.
Avantika looked down, embarrassed, though I could tell that she was still smiling.
‘Get out,’ the professor said.
Kabir immediately collected his books, pushed back his chair and left. Avantika followed. They were still laughing when they left the class.
‘If anyone has any more jokes to share they can do that outside the class,’ he said and got back to telling us about some consulting project of his. I sat there and tried to concentrate on what the professor was saying to keep my mind off what Kabir was doing with my girlfriend. Where would these two be? What would they be doing? I was being paranoid but I could not help it.
I could not shake the thought off my head. Time stopped. Five minutes seemed like fifty. The more I stared at the clock hung above the blackboard, the slower it moved.
I fiddled with my pen and fidgeted in my hair. It became hard to keep sitting in the class. The last few minutes of that lecture were the most painful ones I had ever been through.
I messaged her, asking her where she was. ‘Room,’ the reply came. I felt relieved and slowed down my steps as I entered the girls’ hostel.
Room No. 203.
I opened the door to her room. I hadn’t bothered to knock.
‘Hey,’ said Kabir, sitting on her bed, one leg crossed calmly over the other, at home in Avantika’s room.
‘Where’s she?’ I asked, wanting to throw my hardbound register in his face and smashing his skull open. What the fuck are you doing here!
‘She has gone to the washroom,’ he said as he flipped through Avantika’s magazines. That bastard had made himself comfortable in Avantika’s room. How can he even touch the magazines that she touched!
‘Deb, did he ask for our roll numbers?’ he asked.
‘I didn’t notice,’ I said and went out into the corridor. I walked around the corridor and waited for her.
‘Where the fuck were you?’ I asked as soon as I spotted her.
‘In the room,’ she said casually.
‘Get him out of here right now!’
‘What? Why?’ she asked.
‘Because I am asking you to do so.’
‘Don’t be such a kid, Deb.’
‘Just do it, Avantika.’
‘Okay, I will do that,’ she said, a little miffed.
I waited outside the room for him to leave and he walked out after a couple of minutes. I was being unreasonable but I could not bear the sight of that man. I hated him with every cell of my body.
‘What was he doing here?’ I asked her.
‘Nothing. We were just talking,’ she said.
‘Here? Is this the only place you got? In the whole campus?’
‘It is hot outside, Deb.’
‘Did he suggest this place?’
‘Yes, kind of.’
‘Why didn’t you say no?’
‘Why should I?’ she asked innocently.
‘As if you don’t know what he wants from you!’
‘He doesn’t. Why are you being so possessive?’
‘Possessive? You bring a guy to your room and you expect me not to react?’
‘Deb, what do you think he was doing here?’
‘I don’t know! You tell me!’ I accused her.
‘Deb, if you think I had some wrong intentions, I don’t think we should have this conversation. Do you really think—?’
‘I am not saying anything. But we fought over him just yesterday! Is that not a problem?’
‘I trust you, Deb. You don’t …’
‘That is because I don’t keep hanging around with random girls and get them to my room.’
‘Kabir is a friend.’
‘Raghav has never come to your room and he is a better friend of yours. Nor has Ravi or Kumod! Why him?’
‘I am not talking about this,’ she said and looked away.
‘How convenient.’
I left and banged the door behind me. She must be crying now, I thought. And like every egotistical guy, I didn’t go back. I acted like an asshole and I did not like it but I hated him more; I wanted to make that clear, once and for all.
9
I ran through the conversation again in my head. Kabir would have laughed at me if he got to know about our fight. She would not text me, I knew. I was wrong and she waited for me to make it right. I did not want to accept defeat so easily. I made my way to the on-campus Nescafé stall that sold instant coffee and extra-spicy, microwave-cooked Maggi. Shashank had called, I remembered.
‘How was Goa?’ he asked.
‘It was okay,’ I said; my voice did not match up to his enthusiasm.
‘Something happened?’
‘Not really. Just a little fight.’
Mittal walked beside us with plates of noodles in his hands. Mittal’s first name was Ganesh, but he preferred to be called by his last name—he said the name Ganesh reduced his raw sex appeal. Which he had in plenty, and he was well aware of it.
‘Two lovelorn Romeos. What’s happening, ladies?’ he asked.
Mittal was not anti-relationships. In fact, there wasn’t a time in the year he wasn’t seeing anyone but he always disregarded the need of them. It’s just how you get laid, he used to say. He was, basically, anti-love.
‘Heard you went to Goa? Got laid? With your girlfriend? Now that’s new and exciting!’ he mocked. ‘Who goes to Goa with his girlfriend? What’s the point? How much did you spend?’
‘Aparna Di gifted the tickets,’ I said.
‘Oh … involvement of family … very interesting indeed! Did she also give you small socks for Debashish Junior and Avantika Junior?’ He laughed out and suddenly shrieked, ‘Look there!’
‘What?’
‘Where?’
‘There.’
Mittal pointed at an exchange student, Catheri
ne, who had come from Poland. She looked like a familiar porn star. Mittal’s and my eyes followed her exaggerated curves until they disappeared behind a pillar.
Shashank was not in the least interested. Being in a relationship never stopped me from leering at other women from time to time; Shashank was untouched by this kind of debauchery. He was loyal. Shashank and Farah had been going around for five years now. There had been problems in their relationship but they were still going strong. Farah belonged to a devout Muslim family, although she couldn’t care less, and there was no way either of the families would approve of their relationship.
‘Shashank?’ Mittal asked. ‘If Catherine … is standing naked right in front of you and offers you a blow job, would you let her do that to you?’
Mittal knew what the answer would be, and had started smiling. He was mocking him, but he was also fascinated by Shashank’s righteousness.
‘Nope,’ Shashank said. He knew how Mittal would keep selling the idea to him and smiled.
Mittal continued selling the blow job. ‘Shashank! Catherine! Imagine her naked, her huge red lips, her mouth inviting you; she would suck it good. It will be the best blow job of your life! You would even get to come wherever you want to. Even on her pretty face! How can you turn that down … Farah would not even get to know! You do watch porn, don’t you? This is hardly different.’
We both looked at Mittal, shocked, disgusted and a tiny bit turned on. He could be really gross if he wanted to. We really did not want him to describe a blow job.
‘I still wouldn’t do it. Not with her at least,’ Shashank said and smiled at me.
‘Which means you will fuck her mentally, but not physically? That is being such a hypocrite … Anyway, Deb, what about you?’
‘I would do it,’ I said. I did not want to come across as a wimp. I don’t know whether I was being a hypocrite, or I was just angry at Avantika.
‘Me too!’ Mittal said and laughed. ‘In fact, I am ready to pay for it too!’
‘Oh … good that you added the last part and gave some respect to her,’ I said.
‘She deserves it, Deb, she deserves it. Shashank? Are you done with the chapter?’
Shashank was our saviour in class. He was a year or two younger than we were, and the only sincere one amongst us. He was departmental rank two and it was effortless for him, and we loved it when he kicked butt of the snobbish kids who slogged throughout the semester, took notes, ran after professors and submitted their assignments on time.
Shashank did not look twenty-three and still looked like a schoolchild; his looks were in stark contrast to the person he was. Responsible, straight-thinking and very composed.
‘Read it yourself. It’s not that tough,’ he said to us.
‘What? Are you crazy? We will not get it. Just read it and tell us what it is all about!’ Mittal said.
Shashank narrated the case for the next class. I was only half listening and Mittal had to slap my head a few times to make me concentrate. We rushed to the class minutes before it started. As a reflex, I ran my eyes through the crowd and looked for Avantika until I realized that I was not supposed to do so. We were in the middle of a fight.
The three of us found a place for us to sit. Avantika was sitting in the first row and furiously making notes. Kabir sat close by, just a girl between them, and they talked once or twice every few minutes. I suppressed the urge to text her. It was hard to see her even talking to him. I could not even fathom why she was … I mean she knew that I would be watching her in class. She should have stayed away from him. It just made me sick now.
‘Should we get him beaten up?’ Mittal whispered in my ear, smilingly.
‘Shut up, man …’
‘See, that is why I say—get only so close to a girl that she warms you, not burns you up!’ he said seriously. ‘You get the pun, right? Warm is equal to sex? Burn is equal to jealousy? Brilliant, right?’
‘Shut up …’
‘If you have a problem with him, why don’t you go and talk to her?’ said Shashank, concerned.
‘I will not. It is the same every time. She will put forth some big words like trust and love, and I will lose the conversation again. Why should it be me always? Why can’t she lose the argument sometimes?’
‘Guys are supposed to take the initiative, that is how it works,’ Shashank said.
‘That is how my dick works too. Suck it,’ Mittal said. ‘This is because we pamper girls! Stop pampering them and lower their expectations. They will be out of excuses to cry. It’s as simple as that.’
‘SILENCE!’ the brand management professor bellowed. ‘The students who haven’t submitted the assignment need to see me after the class.’
The moment he said it, I assumed that I had to go. I looked at these two to see if they had submitted it. They shook their heads and we smiled because not only did we miss the deadline, we did not even know about the assignment at all. The class ended and the professor shouted out the names of the students who had not submitted the assignment. My name wasn’t on the list. Mittal and Shashank looked at me as if they had caught me in a threesome with their sisters; I had violated the bro code; I had submitted an assignment when they hadn’t, and in the universe bound together with the tenuous ties between brothers, between comrades, this was unacceptable.
‘Avantika,’ I explained.
They let out a collective sigh.
‘If you two are fighting, can I ask her out? I really need someone to do my assignments too,’ Mittal smirked.
‘Lucky dog …’ Shashank said. ‘That is why I said there are some places girls take the initiative, where you never would.’
‘Oh, Shashank, stop bullshitting! We don’t need such statements from a guy who even takes the initiative to wash his girl’s clothes.’
‘I just picked up laundry once,’ he said in his defence.
‘As if you wouldn’t have washed them too, had she asked! You would have washed her maid’s clothes too, if given the chance,’ he grumbled.
‘Anyway, Deb, the fight ends?’ Shashank asked.
‘I don’t know,’ I said.
What does one do when one’s girlfriend is like the sweetest little thing ever? You just feel that you are the stupidest guy in the whole world. I was the stupidest guy with the sweetest girl one could ever have.
10
She left the class and Kabir left closely behind. Not the prettiest of scenes for me, but I had the first right on her, so I brushed Kabir aside and asked her if we could talk. Kabir slinked away. I followed her to the coffee shop inside our college and we started to talk.
‘Thank you,’ I said.
‘For what?’ she asked. The coffee froth perched playfully on her pink lips. She licked it away.
‘For the assignment,’ I said, apologetically.
‘You never thanked me before for it,’ she said, trying hard not to show that she was smiling.
‘We never fought this bad before … I guess.’
‘It is okay, baby,’ she said, ran her palm over my cheek. Her one touch and I was her puppy again.
‘I am sorry.’
‘It is fine,’ she said. She drank her coffee in silence. ‘Come,’ and led me by her hand to our hostel and then to her room.
‘So?’ I asked after we reached her room. ‘What?’
‘What what?’ she said.
‘I mean why your room?’
‘… because unlike some people I think people do a lot more than just kiss each other all over behind a closed door. They can discuss corporate finance too, you know,’ she explained.
‘I get your point. It is just that I am not comfortable. I’m a little insecure. Who wouldn’t be if he is dating a stunner like you?’
‘That’s sweet. But I love you, Deb. Why don’t you understand that? Why do you still doubt me?’
‘It is not as if I doubt you. It is just that I do not want Kabir to feel that he has a chance with you. I know this is silly, but I can’t help it.’
>
‘I know, baby,’ she said and rubbed her nose on my neck.
‘Would you not feel bad if I hang around with Malini?’
‘Not at all, Deb. I trust you. I really do. I do not trust her, but that is another thing. I know you would always be with me,’ she said and pecked me on my cheek.
‘I always will.’
‘Now go away from my room. I got to study. Go and meet your Malini,’ she said and pushed me out. I scratched my head as I stood outside her room.
Why bring me all the way to your room and not make out? What happened to the concept of patch-up sex! Kids these days!
11
Mittal shouted as soon as he saw me in the corridor, ‘Had sex and solved everything?’
Everybody turned and looked at him. I ground my teeth and widened my eyes to make him shut up. He always made us look like some sex-obsessed group in college.
‘What happened?’ Shashank asked.
‘Nothing much … We talked and everything is normal.’
‘What?’ Mittal exclaimed as he lit a cigarette. ‘You talked? You were in her room. Why didn’t you just sleep with her? That is how you tell the girl is still yours. You sleep with her and tell the whole world about it. It’s a simple two-step process.’
‘I don’t have to do that,’ I said. ‘No, thank you.’ I turned down his cigarette.
‘Have a cigarette, dude … See these are just like girls. Put on to your lips, it feels great. A few minutes later, it just burns out. Then you need another one! And another one. That is how girls are. You fall in love with them and slowly, it becomes a habit. Navy cut one day, Marlboro the other. You cannot kick the habit. But you feel good about it every time you puff one! Or fuck one!’
‘Where does he get such ideas from?’ Shashank asked.
‘I wish I knew,’ I said.
‘You know it is so sad that both my friends suck so much. Life is beyond love, guys. It is beyond running after girlfriends, beyond buying them gifts when you would rather buy stuff for yourself and aligning your life according to them. Shashank, when was the last time you went out with a girl who was not Farah? Three years?’
She Broke Up, I Didn't: I Just Kissed Someone Else! Page 4
