“I imagine every man that got killed today thought he had too much to live for.”
Jo did not answer for a while but let the silence run on. She thought he had fallen asleep again and was startled when he spoke.
“I’ve been thinking about Gabby,” he said.
“She’s such a beautiful child. Her mind’s as full as a mind can be and very bright!”
“I’ve been a bad father to her.”
“Don’t say that, Lance. You’ve got a hard job. I’m sure you do the best you can.”
Lance moved his shoulders impatiently. He shook his head too, but the movement sent fresh waves of pain through his head. “No,” he muttered, “I haven’t done the best I can. I’ve made a mess out of my life, Jo. Ever since Noelle died, I’ve been living in some kind of horrible nightmare.”
Jo listened as Lance continued to talk. Sympathy and pity rose in her for this strong man who had lost so much. As she sat there, she realized, to an even greater degree, the great love he had had for his wife. She had not seen love like that often, and now she felt humbled by it.
“Lance, not many men love their wives as you loved Noelle. Most men get over it because their love isn’t so great. But you’re different.”
“I’m . . . glad you think that, Jo. But it doesn’t change things.”
Once again they listened to the sounds of the crickets, and suddenly a shadowy form appeared and flew through the barn. Jo let out a small cry and grabbed at Lance, moving closer to him.
“It’s all right. It’s just an owl hunting for his supper.” Lance reached over and put his arm around Jo. As she leaned against him, he was aware, even through the pain, what a desirable woman she was. It was something he had tried to deny, and now he simply held her, saying nothing.
Jo was aware of the pressure of Lance’s arm. She had never been in love, although she had had several romances. Amid the musty smells of the barn with the stars sparkling outside the door, she suddenly knew that she loved Lance Winslow. She also knew that it was a one-sided love. He’s still in love with Noelle, she thought. Wanting the comfort of his arm, she did not move away. She was a strong woman, but at that moment all her strength seemed to have left her. Perhaps it was the violence she had gone through. Perhaps, for longer than she had known, there had been a longing in her to depend on the strength of a man. Now as she felt the warmth of his body as she pressed against him, tears filled her eyes. She was confused, lonely, and frightened, but there was nothing else she could say. Deep down she suspected that Lance Winslow would never love anyone except his dead wife, Noelle, and she was not willing to share a man’s love in this fashion.
“Jo—?”
“Yes. What is it, Lance?”
“I’ve got to tell you this.”
His voice was no more than a whisper, and she waited until finally, after a struggle, he continued.
“I’ve forgotten God, Jo. I used to know Him and love Him, but since Noelle died, that’s all gone.”
Jo knew then what was in Lance Winslow’s heart. “You blame God for her death, don’t you?”
“Yes! I do, and it’s killing me. I can’t live like this, Jo. I can’t!”
And then Jo Hellinger knew what to do. Her own heart was filled with pain for a love she could never share with Lance Winslow, but she wanted to reach out and help him. She took his hand, which was around her, and held it tightly. “God is waiting for you, Lance.”
“Do you really think so?”
“He’s always waiting. He’s full of tender mercies and loving compassion. Would you mind if I pray for you?” In the silence that followed, Jo was afraid that Lance was about to refuse her request.
Then he whispered, “Yes. Pray for me, Jo.”
There in the silence of that barn in enemy territory with death perhaps lurking a few hours away, Jo prayed, and Lance began to pray as well.
The pungent barn became a sanctuary of healing for Lance Winslow as he began to pour out his heart to God. He relinquished the bitterness for having lost his wife that had kept him bound up with anger toward God all those years. And in its place, a silent peace and strength settled upon him. Tears of joy streaked his bloodied face, for he had finally come back to the God he thought he had lost.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
The Search
A silence seemed to hang over the aerodrome as Rev and Dani stood in the shadow of the hangar. They had watched all available planes leave, including four two-seater observer planes that had been brought in for repairs. Rev and the other mechanics had hastily given them a quick check, and they had joined the Nieuports in the search for Lance Winslow and Jo Hellinger.
Turning to scan the skies, although he knew it was too soon for anyone to come back, Rev automatically calculated the weather. “Well,” he said, as cheerfully as he could, “at least they’ve got good, clear weather for it.”
Danielle had not been looking upward. Leaning back against the hangar, she had been staring at the ground blindly. She looked up at the bright blue sky and the fleecy clouds that looked like large balls of cotton. “I suppose if it were bad weather, it would be impossible.”
“That’s right,” Rev nodded quickly. “So you see, the Lord’s on our side.”
“I wish I had your faith, Rev.”
“My faith! Well, I don’t reckon I’ve ever been noted as having big faith. Now you take some of those giants of the faith mentioned in the book of Hebrews. Now they had big faith.” He felt it was important to talk to Danielle to keep her spirits up, although his own were rather dampened. “Take that fellow Abraham, for example. There he was nigh onto a hundred years old, and the Lord tells him, ‘Abe, you’re gonna have a baby boy.’ Well, that right there would set a fellow back, wouldn’t it?”
“I suppose so.”
“Sure it would, but Abraham believed God, and it was counted him for righteousness. The way I see it, Miss Dani, that’s about all we have to do. You remember back over in the Gospel of John, Jesus taught His disciples something about that. In chapter six, verse twenty-eight, ‘Then said they unto him, What shall we do, that we might work the works of God?’ Do you remember that?”
“Not really. What did Jesus say?”
“Why, the next verse Jesus said, ‘This is the work of God, that ye believe on him whom he hath sent.’ Now that’s plain and simple, isn’t it? The only work we can do, really, is to believe. That’s why, I think, in Hebrews eleven and the sixth verse, the Lord says, ‘But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.’ Now, what I want to do most of all is to please God, but there’s no way I can do that according to Hebrews except by having faith in Him. I must believe what He says and hang on to His Word. Praise the Lord, those promises are good and true, and they never fail.”
Danielle listened as Rev spoke enthusiastically about believing in God, and finally she said, “But, Rev, I really don’t understand you sometimes. I’ve heard you say that the things that happen to us are already planned out, that there’s nothing we can do to change them. If that’s so, why do we need to pray? I mean, if it’s already settled what God’s going to do with Lance and Jo, why bother to pray?”
“Because it’s God’s will for us to pray. We don’t know what’s going to happen, but God has commanded us to pray. We can’t look into the future and tell much of anything about that. God has commanded us to bring all things to Him in prayer. That’s why in Philippians the fourth chapter there’s a pair of verses that I’ve just about made my life, Miss Dani. You might not believe it, but there was a time in my life when I worried about everything.”
Amazed at this statement, Danielle looked up into the homely face of Revelation Brown. “I can’t believe that, Rev. You never seem to worry about anything.”
“Wasn’t always that way, though. Before I learned what the Bible said, I worried about everything. Why, I spent so much time worrying about what was goi
ng to happen next week or next month, I didn’t have time to handle the trouble that was going on right at the moment. Then, I found these two verses, and I just cabbaged on to them, Miss Dani, and I’m telling you they work. You can take ’em to the bank—the bank of heaven, that is.”
“What are they, Rev?”
“ ‘Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.’ That’s the first verse,” Rev said. “What does it say to do? First, it says don’t be careful. That means anxious. Don’t worry, in other words. And what else? It says we are to do three things. We are to pray, and we’re to make supplication, and we’re to give thanks, and if we do this the next verse kicks in.” He smiled and put his hand on her shoulder. “You might like this part. It says if we do what’s in verse six, God will do what’s in verse seven. It says, ‘And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.’ ”
Danielle stood there, and the words of promise started to sink into her. “That sounds so simple. Is it really that simple, Rev?”
“It has to be simple because we’re ignorant, foolish sheep. But I’ve lived in that verse, Miss Dani. I’ve let God know my requests. I’ve prayed, and I’ve given thanks for everything, and God always does His part. That’s why the peace of God is always in my heart.”
The two stood there leaning against the hangar wall, and Revelation spoke with such confidence that Danielle felt her heart lift. It had been as though a dark cloud had settled over her spirit. Fear had almost destroyed her, but now as Rev quoted the words of the Bible, promise after promise, always giving the chapter and verse, the cloud seemed to lift. Finally she reached out and took Rev’s hand, saying quietly, “Thank you, Rev. I feel much better.”
“Why, the Scripture says, ‘The entrance of his word giveth light.’ And that doesn’t say the understanding of it either. That just says the entrance of it. That’s why I try to fill myself up with the Word of God. I need all the life, and all the peace, and all the joy I can get in this old world. So I just let the Lord do it through His Word.”
****
At the same moment Rev and Danielle were leaning against the hangar wall looking up into the sky, Logan Smith was banking his Nieuport and searching the ground desperately. There was no formation flying now. He had divided a section of the area where Sailor Malone had been assigned, telling all the pilots, “Fly low and keep your eyes open for anything. Especially for the planes. They’re down somewhere.”
Every few minutes, Logan automatically glanced in the mirror and sometimes twisted his head. He knew he would be easy prey for any German that caught him down this low, but he did not give that a second thought.
“They’ve got to be somewhere! Lord, just guide me to the place where they are.”
As he continued to scan the checkerboard country beneath him, much of it scarred by the battles that had taken place since the beginning of the war, he thought of Jo and the friendship the two had struck up. He had not realized how close they had been, but ever since they had left for France, the war itself had drawn them closer together. He had watched her carefully and had been aware that she was falling in love with Lance Winslow. She never mentioned it, but there was something special in her eyes whenever Winslow was near, and something changed in her voice when she spoke to him.
The earth flew under him, and he pulled back on the stick to gain a little more altitude. Feverishly he searched the green earth and found himself praying as he never had before.
“Lord, I know I haven’t been close to you lately, but I’m praying that you will help us to find the captain and Jo. I know they’re down there somewhere, and my heart tells me they’re not dead. There’s so much ground to search that there’s no hope, except you give your help, so I’m asking you, Lord, to guide us. Help one of us to find them.”
The time droned on, and Logan had to turn back. His fuel gauge was perilously close to empty. He fretted as he made his way back to the aerodrome and landed. As the plane rolled up to a stop, he cut the engine and leaped out.
As he hit the ground, he saw Danielle and Rev rushing up to him.
“Did you find them?” Danielle cried. She came up and involuntarily put her hand on his chest as if to draw strength from him. Her face was drawn and her eyes were filled with concern.
“No. I got low on gas and had to come back. Fill it up, will you, Rev?”
“Sure. Right now. You see any Germans?”
“No. I hope none of the rest of them did either. They’ll all be coming back soon. They must be about out of gas, too.”
“Five of them already came back and gassed up. They’re out looking again. So far nobody’s shot up.”
“Well, that’s a miracle.”
Danielle took Logan’s arm, and said, “Come and take something to eat.”
“Not hungry.”
“Well, at least have something to drink. Try to eat a little.”
Logan allowed himself to be led into the rec room, where Danielle fixed him a sandwich, which he ate absentmindedly. He drank three cups of scalding tea and said almost nothing.
Danielle was aware of his silence, and when he rose, saying, “I’ve got to get back,” she approached him.
Her heart seemed to be strangely moved, and since the pilot’s room was empty, she felt she could speak, although it was difficult. “Rev and I have been praying for you all the time you’ve been gone.”
“Dani, I know it’s hard for you, but I’ll find him if I can.” He hesitated, and then said, “I know he means everything to you.”
“That’s not true,” Danielle said. And even as she spoke, she had a sudden thought that frightened her. “Logan, I can’t lose you. Please be careful!”
Her words seemed to strike against Logan Smith with a force. He was convinced that she could have no room in her heart for another man. Staring into her face, he could not answer her for a moment. Then suddenly she reached up and pulled his head down. Her lips were soft beneath his, and the kiss was brief. Then she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him as hard as she could. As he wrapped his arms around her, his mind filled with wonder.
And then she turned and walked away. He saw tears running down her cheeks.
She looked back once and said, sobbing, “Come back, Logan. Come back to me!”
Logan Smith was stunned by her sudden display of affection. He turned almost blindly and made his way back to the Nieuport. The engine was already running, but before he climbed in, Rev grabbed him and said, “Brother, God’s going to guide you. Me and the Lord have been having a special time together, and I’ve got faith.”
“He’ll have to guide me. It’s a big area out there, Rev.”
“He will. Don’t be afraid.”
Climbing back into the cockpit, Logan took off at once. As he flew back toward Sector J, he could think of nothing but what had transpired between him and Danielle. He was confused now, for he had known for some time that he was in love with this young Frenchwoman, but he had seen that her heart belonged to another, or so he had thought. Now, however, he remembered the touch of her lips and knew this was not the kind of caress that Danielle Laurent gave easily. “What’s going on?” he muttered. “I don’t understand it.”
He had no time to think of women, however, although the remembrance of her came floating into his mind as he crisscrossed the area. He saw three of the planes from his own squadron from time to time and waved to them, but then they separated.
His gas was getting dangerously low again when suddenly he saw one of the observers, a two-seater, flown by Cecil Lewis. Lewis saw him and waved frantically, pointing toward the ground to the east. Logan pulled his Nieuport up alongside, and he could read Lewis’s lips as he was shouting, “They’re down there!”
A great exultation came to Logan Smith then, and he knew, somehow, that God had answered his prayers.
He motioned with his hand, and Lewis t
urned and headed downward. Logan followed him, and ten minutes later he spotted the downed plane. It was in the middle of a field and was nothing but a wreck. Only the burnt fuselage was left, and Logan suddenly felt himself plunge into depression.
He circled above the wreck in the plane, knowing that nobody could be alive, yet he remembered the words of Rev. God is going to lead you to them.
God wouldn’t lead me to this, he thought. Quickly he made a decision. He made a circle with his hands toward Lewis, who was doing the same as he, and the two spread out and began searching the ground.
It seemed futile. Farmers out in their fields looked up at the Nieuport as it flew overhead. He saw no troops or signs of patrols, for which he was grateful.
If they got out alive, they’d be hiding, Logan thought. Maybe in trees, or in an old abandoned shed, or in a ditch.
Doubt kept creeping in on him, and he had to put away the thought of Jo being burned to a crisp in the wreck.
And then he saw the old barn, with the roof half gone. It sat alone in a field next to the wreckage of a house that had been burned. Only the chimney pointed upward, and he thought it seemed like the finger of God.
Suddenly out of the old barn he saw a figure emerge, and his heart leaped.
“Jo! It’s Jo!” he cried aloud. He throttled back on the engine, turned, and went as low as possible. There was no mistake. It was Jo, all right, and she was waving frantically.
“I wonder where Lance is?” Logan murmured. And then she pointed back in the barn, pantomiming, and Logan thought, He’s in the barn. Probably hurt.
He pulled the plane up and saw that Lewis had brought his two-seater to fly beside him. He also had seen Jo and was using his hands, clasping them like a fighter in a victory.
“We’ve got to get down. There could be patrols anytime. That field will have to do,” he said to himself.
It was a short field and not really long enough for a landing, but they had no choice. The two-seater had the ability to land in a shorter space and could make it fine. He motioned for Cecil to go down and Lewis nodded.
The Flying Cavalier Page 31
