by Howe, Cheryl
She forced her conscience to contemplate the question, though her heart already knew the answer. No, she didn’t want him to stop. If she let this opportunity pass, she might never have another. The entirety of her adult life had been filled with regret. She had no intention of adding more. She wanted him to incinerate the barrier between the woman she forced herself to be and the woman she really was.
Before either of them came to their senses, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him full on the mouth.
Instantly, he pulled her against him in an almost painful grip. His kiss mirrored her sense of urgency. There was no teasing build-up to the penetrating thrust of his tongue or the hard press of his lips. With shaking hands, she explored the contours of his tight, muscled chest. She dragged her fingertips through a patch of burnished hair, then slid to the smooth skin covering his ribs. Freely touching him was an intoxicant in and of itself. Though she dearly wanted to, she lost her nerve before she dared to go lower, and slipped her arms tentatively around his waist.
He wrenched his mouth from hers. His breath singed her when he spoke. “I won’t play cat-and-mouse with you anymore, Felicity. I told you we would finish this, and finish it we will if I stay in this cabin a moment longer.”
She traced wet kisses across his collarbone. The taste of his skin shattered any choice she had in the matter. “Stay,” she said, then bit him lightly.
He swept her up in his arms and carried her to the bed. He dropped her roughly and was on her before she had a chance to protest or even catch her breath. She wondered if she should tell him she wasn’t a virgin—then he was kissing her, and nothing else seemed to matter. The dreaded discovery of her tainted past had hinged on condemnation by a godly man. Drew’s plundering kisses proved he wasn’t that, if she’d ever had any doubt.
He alternately licked and kissed his way across her jaw, then followed the curve of her neck. Without ceasing his trek, he yanked down her bodice and continued his wet path over the swell of her breast. She gasped, both eager and mortified. She didn’t know a grown man would want to do such a thing. Her eyes squeezed shut against the lush sensation. He drew her nipple into his mouth, sending a rush of liquid heat straight to her sex. She pushed against his unyielding shoulders, shocked by his boldness as well as her own reaction. But the drugging pleasure swept away her objections along with all rational thought.
She forced her eyes open to keep herself from being completely carried away by her dark desires. Late afternoon sunlight flickered through the oval windows lining the cabin, illuminating the slick trail where Drew’s kisses had branded her. His dark hair fanned against her pale skin and his free hand possessively gripped her other breast, rubbing his thumb distractedly over the strained pink nipple. His closed eyelids fluttered with ecstasy.
When she realized he was enjoying this as much as she was, she had to remind herself to breathe. Without warning he pinched the nipple he toyed with, sending shards of erotic pleasure splintering down to her toes. Her sex tightened unbearably. She arched her back off the bed. Her fingers entwined in his tangled hair as she held him to her. “Please.”
“Please what, sweeting?” he said, his voice husky.
She wasn’t exactly sure if she was begging him to stop or to continue. Her heartbeat roared in her ears. She let her head fall back and struggled to find the right words. In an attempt to show him, she rotated her hips, brazenly rubbing against the leg he had positioned between her knees. It was her undoing.
“I want to feel you inside me.” An urge desperate and primal drove her past any inhibitions she’d ever had.
He jerked up his head and stared into her eyes. To her surprise, his obvious shock didn’t shame her. Not when his eyes dilated with hunger.
“As you wish,” he said, with a roughness she hadn’t heard in his voice before. The sound alone was a new kind of seduction.
Slowly, he moved over her. Their coupling would be a closeness she could understand. He would share her hunger instead of making her the feast. Not that she didn’t like it, or her breasts didn’t ache at his sudden retreat, but she needed him to be as swept away as she.
He grabbed the hem of her dress and pushed it, along with her underskirts, up to her hips. All the last minute tugs of conscience were forgotten when he touched the back of her knee and nudged her legs farther apart. She moaned when he dragged his fingers up the inside of her thigh. In equal proportions, she feared he’d touch the center of her desire and that he wouldn’t. No one had ever told her men and woman did things like this, touching and kissing in secret places.
When he reached the apex of her thighs, he ran his fingers through her curls, then circled her with his index finger. She rocked her hips and called out his name on a desperate breath. She soon learned his grazing caress wasn’t enough. It was only just another step in her descent into sweet madness. For a moment, she wondered if he was purposely torturing her for all the trouble she’d caused him.
“Easy, sweeting. The longer I take, the better you’ll like it.” He slipped a single finger inside her.
A flood of liquid warmth dampened her thighs at his touch. He cursed, then quickly withdrew his finger. Her cheeks and breasts burned with embarrassment over her uncontrollable response.
He must have noticed her discomfort because he nuzzled her ear and whispered, “You feel too good. I don’t want to prove myself inadequate in this. Though I fear you might outmatch me once again.”
He kissed her hard on the mouth and reentered her. The fullness of two fingers had her convulsively clutching him, each grip sending out stronger spasms of pleasure. He moved in and out, simulating a rhythm she longed for him to duplicate with his body. Her world narrowed to the feel of his tongue in her mouth and the fingers he slid inside her. Without a will of her own, she matched his rhythm with her hips. She grasped his shoulders, urging him deeper inside.
When he pulled away, she struggled to her elbows, not caring that her legs spread and her sex pulsed in his full view. He sat on his knees, his gaze fixed upon her bare breasts, before dropping lower.
Blindly he yanked at the strings of his breeches. His stare touched her physically. She didn’t move to cover herself, but watched his muscles flex while he tugged at the lacing. His breathing came heavy, and for the first time in their acquaintance he appeared completely unmasked. Raw with need and want.
When he finally managed to undo the ties on each side of his waistband, a triangular flap fell forward, exposing him. Her slight intake of breath probably warned him he’d made a tactical error. She raised her heavy gaze up to his face, then back down to the violent jut of his sex. She’d never seen a man’s privates before. With Erik, it had been dark and they were both fully dressed. There’d been no coaxing touches, and little kissing. He took her before she had a chance to change her mind. And she certainly would have if she had seen this.
Drew lifted her chin back to his face. “Lay back and let me love you. All will be fine. I promise.”
He placed his hands on her shoulders and tried to gently persuade her to lie flat on her back. The softness of his words eased some of her fears, but not completely. Her slight anxiety added an element of danger to her already heightened arousal. There was no turning back now. Her body craved him despite her fear. Before he could lower her to the bed, she wrapped her fingers around his rigid flesh, testing to see if he was as unyielding as he appeared. He jerked at her touch.
“Did I hurt you?” He was as hot as a flame, but the way the muscles in his stomach tightened and his breathing quickened told her she hadn’t. Her touch was as torturing to him as his slow exploration had been to her. She slid her hand up his length and was rewarded by his soft groan.
Abruptly, he grabbed her wrist. “Let go or this will be over before we start.”
She smiled and allowed him to guide her down to the bed. Her anxiety faded to a demanding anticipation.
He kissed her deeply, then pulled away to position himself between her legs. On braced arms,
he slid across her swollen flesh without entering her.
She pushed his breeches down to his thighs and kneaded his taut flanks. Her fingers dug into him, pulling him to her as she pushed up with her hips. She had been waiting for this too long to draw it out any longer. For most of her adult life, she’d held herself in a prison of her own making and the moment he took her, she’d be free.
He shifted his weight to his knees so he could grab both of her wrists and stretch her arms above her head. “You are making it awfully hard to give you a pleasurable experience.”
“Make love to me,” she demanded. “I’m ready.”
“I don’t want to hurt you, Felicity. The slower we go, the easier it will be.”
She met his gaze. “I’m not a virgin.”
He blinked. “What?”
She closed her eyes to block out his startled expression. She hadn’t meant to say it, but she could tell he held back, and she refused to have less than his uncontrolled lust.
Drew had made her want him from the moment he’d first held her gaze in his powerful grip and she deserved all that his penetrating stares had promised. She needed him to be as weak in his hunger as she was in hers.
He released her wrists and moved away from her, forcing her to open her eyes. He sat on his heels and studied her. His chest rose and fell with each breath. She dropped her gaze lower. Her confession hadn’t cooled his desire in the least. In fact, he seemed to swell under her direct gaze. A drop of moisture clung to his tip, assuring her that she wasn’t the only one who revealed need so openly.
A glimpse of his face found him watching her with such single-minded intensity, his breath quickening through his parted lips. She suspected her gawking had aroused him as much as her touch. The madness that had gotten them this far surged within Felicity. As if he could somehow control her by his stare, she rotated her hips. His stare dropped to her sex and his release of breath was audible.
He crawled between her thighs, his face close to hers. “Ah…Would you care to elaborate? Quickly?”
She let her hands glide across his tensed flanks to the tight muscles in the backs of his thighs. In her coaxing exploration, her fingers accidentally brushed him, and he sucked in his breath. His gaze shuttered and he no longer appeared capable of simple speech, much less having a lengthy discussion about her past.
“Please. No questions. Just make love to me.”
He remained poised above her. The muscles in his arms strained with tension. She had the unsettling realization that this might well be the last time she was ever this close to another human being. Surely he wouldn’t deny her this because she had slipped and revealed her worst secret. She turned her head and kissed the inside of his elbow with her open mouth. “I need you.”
“You’re full of surprises, Felicity Kendall. And I have to say this is one of the better ones.” He dropped his head and watched as he rubbed the length of his erection against her wet passage. She arched against him and he gritted his teeth, “I need you, too.”
He braced his weight on his hands. “Guide me,” he said, in a tone that didn’t reflect his teasing of mere seconds before.
She reached between them and gripped him. His eyes were closed, but he moved to her slight pressure as if she controlled his body as easily as her own. The first blunt touch against her sensitized opening sent waves of ecstasy to wash away her fears. But then he pushed forward, taking control and stretching her with a sharp jolt. As if sensing her discomfort, he paused until the invading pressure was eased by pleasure and her body pulsed in invitation. She gripped his forearms, urging him to continue. This was nothing like her first time. If Drew didn’t slide deeper, she’d be digging her nails into his skin. Instead of surging into her, he withdrew slightly and pushed forward again, stretching her slowly to accommodate him. She rocked her hips, wishing he’d hurry, but he retreated again.
“This will be better if you let me lead.” He leaned down and licked a path from the hollow under her jaw to her ear. “Surrender to me, Felicity,” he whispered.
With great effort, she forced herself to relax and breathe while she waited for him to fill her. Each small thrust of his hips was torture. It must have been for him as well, because a fine sheen shone on his shoulders and beaded his upper lip. She gripped the sheets to keep from grinding her hips into his.
When she knew she couldn’t stand another second of his slow, shallow strokes, he surged to fill her completely, then stilled. But his sweet torture wasn’t over. While he stayed snug against her, he moved in a way that pressed a sensitized knot deep inside her. She gasped and rolled her hips against the new assault.
“Like that?” he asked with a satisfied smirk in his voice.
“No.” But another gasp and a soft moan gave her away.
“I don’t believe you.” His voice deepened, and she sensed he was ready for more as desperately as she.
Finally, he moved again. His rhythm began in slow, coaxing strokes, then quickly grew harder and faster. Each thrust compounded in urgency. He wrapped his arm underneath her knee, forcing it back in his attempt to be deeper inside her. Her hips matched his escalating rhythm while her arms clutched him to her. Lost to the demands of her body, she felt as if she were being sucked down a dark tunnel. Then, without warning, all her coiled need unfurled in spasms of pleasure so intense she had to bite down against crying out. She stiffened and arched against him. In the end, she couldn’t control the sigh of release torn from her throat. He thrust deep within her and stayed, letting her battle the waves coursing through her.
When she had barely caught her breath, he rose up on his elbows and moved again. After only a few deep strokes, his whole body tensed. A fierce intake of breath told her he’d succumbed to his own violent undoing. His head sagged and his face lay hidden in the fall of his hair. She brushed back the heavy strands, wanting to see the loss of control she’d felt. He turned his face away, but she still glimpsed the intensity of his release in the harsh line of his jaw. Slowly, he lowered himself on top of her. Chest to chest, she could feel his heart race unsteadily.
He rolled to his side, pulling her into his arms. They lay with their heads on the same pillow, face to face. In the entirety of her life, Felicity had never felt closer to another human being. She gazed into his eyes and saw the depths of his soul. And for once, she kept hers open as well, letting him see all there was to see. Unlike her first foray into intimacy, the aftermath of this encounter would be worth the all-encompassing peace she felt at that very moment. If she didn’t know better, she might call it love.
***
It took all Drew’s strength to pull his drenched skin away from Felicity’s warmth. The full moon peered from its vantage point high in the sky, shone through the porthole, revealing it was well after midnight. Drew hadn’t left the cabin since walking in to deliver the news that he was sure would drive Felicity away from him forever. As usual, she had surprised him.
He moved a tangle of her hair to kiss her pale, moon-bathed shoulder. Her dress remained twisted around her waist. He suddenly realized he still wore his boots, and his breeches were shoved below his knees. Next time, he’d undress her and kiss every inch of her, including the sweet fruit hidden by those lush nether curls that matched the ones gripped in his fist. He wondered if she’d balk at the idea. He nuzzled her ear with a grin. Probably not. Her passion matched his own.
He eased off the bed and straightened his breeches. After he rummaged in the wardrobe on the far wall for a clean shirt, he paused to gawk at Felicity. She burrowed deeper into the soft bed. After a second round of lovemaking, she was undoubtedly exhausted. She probably wouldn’t awaken till noon.
A quick stab of sensation brought back the moment he’d first pushed into her tight body, and it had him aroused all over again. He closed his eyes and pictured the second time, the way they had laid on their sides, face to face. Still slick with sweat, they’d started exploring each other. Not passionate at first, just testing the new boundaries of t
heir intimacy. Drew touched the tip of her nose, the fleshy part of her earlobe, and then grazed the swell on the underside of her breast. In return, she’d traced his lips with her fingertip, then, coaxed by his tongue, stuck her finger into his mouth. He’d sucked the digit until she threw her leg over his hip and let him slide into her, each of them grasping and rocking, wrenching all the ecstasy they could from each other.
He shook his head to clear the vision. He had prisoners in the hold, he reminded himself sternly. Prisoners who knew who he was. His father had not only betrayed him but also assumed he was a cold-blooded murderer. Ben was in jail. Drew stopped his hasty lacing of his shirt. Ben would not be pleased with Drew’s behavior this evening. That damn guilt started tightening his chest again.
He bent over to tuck his breeches into his boots. Blood finally rushed to his head, the smart one. The ramifications of what he’d just done pushed themselves through the satisfied haze of quenched lust. He glanced at Felicity, making sure she hadn’t disappeared. She looked like a cat who’d just gotten cream for the first time. Even in her sleep she grinned.
Her happiness did little to ease a swift stab of regret, though. Surely, she wasn’t in love with him. She had hated him up until... He wasn’t exactly sure when their relationship shifted—but it had. They understood each other. Felicity was a grown woman, not a girl. She knew what happened between them had nothing to do with deeper feelings. His desperate need to convince himself sounded weak in his own ears. How would it sound to her?
If he was honest with himself, he would admit he’d wanted to seduce her the night of the Linleys’ party. Better than usual, his conscience had put up the pretense of a struggle, but it knew it always fell back before his desire. Unfortunately, there were a gaggle of other emotions besides lust attached to his relationship with Felicity. Emotions he couldn’t afford to think about. Not at the moment
Felicity’s unexpected reaction to his advances hadn’t helped him do the right thing, either. At least she hadn’t been a virgin. He wouldn’t have her deflowering to add to his list of crimes.
