Later.
We can talk later. I’m about to rip my own shirt off when a loud noise startles me and I remember we’re not alone. Skye is just down the hall, a room away. Ugh. Get a hold of yourself, River.
Liam must come to the same conclusion because his head drops to my shoulder and his hands are loose around my hips. His breath comes out shallow and fast. After a moment he gently disengages me from him and sits me back on the couch before taking the other end of it and grabbing a pillow to hide his erection.
And not a moment too soon, as we can hear Skye walking back to the living room.
I can’t help my smirk when I glance at the innocent baby blue pillow being violated by Liam in his attempt to hide the effect I have on him. It’s a heady feeling knowing I did that. His eyes are dark with lust. They zero in on my breasts. I’m wearing a tank top and no bra. No hiding that my nipples are probably as hard as his dick. He’s the one smirking now.
Skye walks in and is completely oblivious to the heated stare between us. I don’t know how she can miss it. It feels like it’s a thousand degrees here. She’s puttering around and drags a suitcase into the room, then goes back down the hall. The front door opens again and Logan comes in. Jesus, no one knows how to knock before they walk in?
“Hey, aren’t you supposed to be working?” I ask Logan, who’s in uniform.
“I’m on a break.” His eyes go from Liam to me and back.
Well, Skye may have been oblivious to the lust hanging in the air between Liam and me, but Logan sure isn’t. One look at the both of us and he’s the one smirking. I can feel my face flaming. Liam just shrugs. Logan laughs, shakes his head, and walks down the hall. A moment later we hear Skye’s squeals and her bedroom door close, followed by the clicking of the lock.
Chapter Sixty
I can tell River is nervous about my moving in. And I’m not sure myself if it’s a good idea. Or how her parents will react to the news. We are too new and too fresh in our relationship and living together could be too much pressure. It can either derail everything or cement our connection.
We’ve known each other for six months and have been together for a little over four.
We’ve never discussed the whole dating thing. From that day on, from the day we found out about Jon and opened up to each other, the day we kissed for the first time, there was a mutual understanding, even if we never put words to it.
Maybe it’s time we talked about it. But I’m nervous too. What if I say the wrong thing? What if she thinks I don’t want to be with her?
“Wanna go for a ride?” I ask.
“Sure, where to?”
“Nowhere. Let’s just get in the truck and see where it takes us.”
She looks at me for a second longer than it should take to answer the question, River, too, is trying to read me and figure how this move will affect us.
“Okay,” she finally says. “Let me grab my stuff and get my shoes on.”
We don’t bother telling our siblings we’re leaving. Five minutes later we are out the door and walking to my driveway where Grandpa’s old truck is parked. I open the door for her and we are gone.
I drive aimlessly for ten minutes, getting away from town. No words are exchanged. The radio is on whatever was the last station Logan listened to. Some kind of rock country song plays softly, and it warms my heart when I remember this was Grandpa’s favorite kind of song. He used to say, “Country with just enough rock so you don’t need the cowboy hat or boots to listen to it.” Grandpa had a quirky sense of humor. I pay attention to the words and it’s as if this song was written for this specific moment.
We came together,
When I never believed we could.
We came together,
When all odds were against us.
We came together,
And here we are at a standing still.
Sitting in this old truck
As the tires eat the miles on the road.
Where will the path take us?
Is it too soon to say I love you?
Where will the path take us?
Is it too soon to say I love you?
We came together,
When I never believed we could.
We came together,
When everyone doubted us.
We came together,
And out of our darkness, light was born.
We came together,
And took a chance on each other.
Where will the path take us?
Is it too soon to say I love you?
Where will the path take us?
Is it too soon to say I love you?
Can it ever be too soon to say I love you?
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I glance at River and her eyes are fixed on the radio. Can she hear the same thing I do? Can she read the meaning behind the words and if so, does she feel the same way I do? Is it too soon to say I love her?
And what if she doesn’t feel the same way about me? What if she’s just hanging on because of what she went through?
An old memory flickers to life when I see a sign on the side of the road.
Old Mill Lake.
I take the turn as if it had been my intention all along and not a result of my random driving. It’s been years since I was last down this road, aptly named after the old mill on the edge of the lake. The stone structure is aged by time and weather. It’s part of a nature preserve and the Historical Society keeps it in shape.
When we were kids, this was a favorite hangout for lazy summer afternoons. A bunch of teens would pile up in cars and drive up to the lake for a swim. There’s a stone ledge we can climb and jump into the lake from. It’s deep enough to be safe.
Today, it’s just us driving down the two-lane road winding through the trees. At this time in the morning on a mid-September weekday, most people are either at work or school.
Neither one of us has school or work today. Mondays are a free day for us, handpicked so we could extend the weekend and avoid the most hated day of the week.
I bring the truck closer to the lake, turn it around, and park facing away from the shore.
River raises an eyebrow at me but doesn’t say anything. She hops out of the truck and I turn to the back and grab the blankets and overstuffed pillows I know Logan always keeps behind the driver’s seat.
I jump on the back of the truck and spread the thick blanket over the truck bed along with the second, lighter blanket and the two overstuffed pillows.
River’s eyebrow hikes up a little higher.
“Looks like you have a plan in mind.”
“No, no plan. I didn’t even think of this place until I saw the sign on the side of the road.”
I hop off the truck and take her hand.
“Let’s go for a walk.”
Her hand feels right in mine. Our fingers lace and fit like pieces of a puzzle.
It’s a bright day, not warm or cold. The kind of day that feels good while you’re in the sun but gets a little chilly in the shade. We walk along the side of the lake in the direction of the mill. Pebbles and sand crunch under our feet. A soft wind blows and carries the sounds of nature in the breeze. The chirping of birds and insects, the water lapping on the shore, our breaths and all the thoughts in our heads, unspoken but too loud all the same.
“I used to come here when I was a kid and jump off that ledge.” I point at the stone ramp coming off the side of the mill.
“It looks like fun. And a little scary. You can never tell what’s under the dark water.”
Her words make me think of Grandpa again.
“Grandpa used to say people are like water. Some are clear and you can see right into their souls. Kids are like clear waters. Most people are a little muddled. If you wait long enough so what’s churning them stops, and the sediment falls to the bottom, they too became clear. And if they allow that sediment to stay down, it will eventually become the foundation of
everything they build upon. And some—some are like dark, deep waters. Try as you might you may never see into them.”
She stops and looks up at me, deep in thought.
“Which one are you?” she asks.
I think about it. If anyone had asked me this question a few months ago, I would’ve certainly answered the dark waters. But today I’m not so sure. Today I think I’ve stopped churning long enough for the sediment to go down. Today I can see all that I’ve gone through as the foundation on which I can build my life. With River by my side if she’ll have me.
Chapter Sixty-One
“I think I’m in the middle and I think I have stopped churning,” he says.
I squeeze his hand. “I think I’ve stopped churning too.”
The rest of the walk is done in silence. We’re both in our heads and in each other’s minds. I can tell by the way he glances at me, by the way his body brushes against mine, when we get to the mill and walk through the narrow opening into it. There’s nothing inside but the stone walls, high wooden beams, and the mill wheel in the center.
We make our way back to the truck and Liam helps me up into the back and onto the blankets.
I lean on a pillow and turn to face him.
“Are we going to talk about it?”
Liam reaches to me and tucks a lock of hair behind my ear.
“I’m a little scared.”
Finally. I let out a breath. I’m not alone in this.
“I’m a little scared too.”
He smiles then and his smile is all the confirmation I need that he still wants to be with me even if like me, he thinks that living together might be a mistake.
“We should set some ground rules. Make sure we’re not stepping on each other’s toes,” he says.
“I agree.”
“As much as I love sleeping with you, I think we should keep separate bedrooms. It will give us both an extra layer of privacy.”
Oh, thank God. I was so worried he’d feel obligated to share a bed every night.
“We’ll probably end up in each other’s beds anyway, but I agree. There might be times in which we just need some space,” I say.
“And I’ll pay for half of the rent and expenses. We also have to figure out chores and who does what.”
“My parents pay for the rent—”
“River, I’m not taking advantage of your parents like that. Whatever the cost for rent and utilities is, I’ll pay for half of it. I have money saved from all the years in service. I never spent much of it. I also have a trust fund I’ve never touched.”
Sorry subject. “Okay,” I appease him. “You can pay for half of everything. I’m not sure how much that will be. I’ll have to ask my parents.”
“Sorry,” he apologizes.
I smile. “No worries. Now, about meals. Neither one of us can cook. Maybe you can use that rent money for takeout.”
He grimaces. “I can’t do takeout every day, but maybe we can learn to cook. I saw an ad on a board at Riggins. This chef comes to your house and teaches you how to cook. He teaches you everything, goes to the store with you, tells you what to buy and then how to prepare, cook, and freeze leftovers.”
“That sounds cool. I think it would be fun and with a pro there, I’m sure we can have something edible.”
“Okay, I’ll take care of that and pay for it. It’ll count toward my half of the expenses. Now, for the chores, what do you absolutely hate?”
“This is going to take a while.”
He laughs. “Okay, how about I take care of all the floors, bathroom, garbage, and my own laundry? And you can do the dusting and cleaning up after meals? And we can adjust as needed.”
I think on it. It sounds fair. The apartment is small, and Skye said he’s a clean freak, which I can attest to if his bedroom at Logan’s is something to go by.
I give him my hand to shake on, but Liam has other ideas. He tucks me under him and with the grace of a panther, he pulls the spare blanket over us.
In the next second he’s kissing me and the moment his lips touch mine, all my doubts and fears are forgotten. There’s nothing but the heat of his body on mine, the press of his thigh between mine, the hardness of his erection on my hip. His hands pull me closer still. One tangles into my hair and the other curves over my ass, lifting me to him.
He moves completely in between my legs now and presses into my center, grinding into me. His tongue in my mouth mimics the rhythm of his hips.
Glorious sensations wash over me, the layers of fabric not in the least able to stall the orgasm building inside of me, I break the kiss and gasp for air. I open my eyes and see Liam’s beautiful face, framed by the bluest of skies, and in his gray eyes, the promise of much more. My whole body shudders under his when I let go of the last of my worries and come undone.
Chapter Sixty-Two
“I love to make you come. I love the sounds you make and how your skin heats up under my touch. I love the look of pleasure on your face and how your eyes go darker with lust. But more than anything else, I love that I’m the one doing this to you.”
Her lips part, but no words are said. Even without them, I can still read all the questions and doubts in her mind. She’s wondering if this thing we have between us is more than lust and like, if it’s more than friction and heat, if it’s more than either one of us is willing to admit right now.
I won’t say the words outright, but I can say everything else and show her. We’re not ready for more right now, but I hope we will be soon.
She says nothing still. Instead, her fingers tread through my too long hair and she pulls me to her and kisses me with such tenderness and love, it makes me feel like I can melt into her, like we can fuse together into a single symbiotic being.
We stay in that kiss, in that embrace, in the light touch of lips and mingled breathes until the crunch of tires on gravel tell us we have company. I disengage and lie next to her, a few inches between our bodies now, a wall of modesty for public eyes growing between us.
I cross my arms behind my head and glance at River. She closes her eyes, nestles further into the blanket and pillow, and lifts her face to the sun, drinking in the moment of peace and contentment. I follow her lead and do the same.
A couple of minutes later I hear steps and a gravelly voice.
“Good morning, folks.”
I open my eyes and a park ranger stands by the tailgate of the truck, arms crossed over his chest. I come up on my elbows.
“Good morning, Officer.”
“What are you kids up to?”
I look at River, who for all accounts looks like is deep into a nap. But I know better. She’s letting me take the heat for this one.
“Just enjoying the beautiful day, sir. It’s been a long time since I’ve been here.”
He eyes us, making sure nothing nefarious is happening.
“Is she okay?” the park ranger asks.
I nudge River and her eyes flutter and open. She blinks a couple of times. Then casually glances toward the ranger and looks surprised.
“Oh, I guess I fell asleep.” She sits up and stretches, pushing her chest out, and bestows the ranger with a smile that could melt the polar caps.
Jesus!
I know she’s beautiful. I’m not blind to that. But River has never, not once used her looks and that smile on me. She’s putting a show for this guy and that tells me how much she’s aware of her appearance and how much she goes out of her way to tone it down when most girls would probably be flaunting their looks.
The ranger’s cheeks go red and he stammers.
“Ok-okay, folks. Stay safe.” He touches his hat and tips it at us, turning away, but not before giving me a look that says, lucky bastard. I grin at him like an idiot. Yes, I am.
It’s been five weeks since we officially moved in together. It’s been fine, but it’s also been a little odd. River is not herself. I can tell she’s holding back and treading carefully, trying to still be with me but at the same
time not giving in and completely relaxing into this living arrangement. She’s keeping her guard up. I gave her time to get used to the idea of me being here. But I’m afraid she’s still worried about what all of this means. I haven’t brought up moving out and to be honest I don’t want to move out. I like this. I like hanging out with her. I like us driving to school together, watching movies, helping each other study. And I like learning to cook. We both enjoy preparing meals together. We even ventured into trying new recipes and we’re getting really good at it.
I don’t want to wait any longer. I can’t wait any longer.
I glance at River. She’s lying on the couch, her feet on my lap, watching a cooking show on the TV. I pick up the remote and pause the show.
She looks at me, an eyebrow raised in question.
I take her in. She’s wearing one of my T-shirts and no pants. I love no-pants River. I love all of her versions.
“I want my River back,” I say and hold on to her feet in purple socks with unicorns all over them.
“You don’t have a River,” she challenges me.
“But I do. And she is beautiful and untamed. She is sweet and infuriating. She is completely and utterly inappropriate ninety-five percent of the time and she should come with a warning. Mamas should cover their kids’ ears any time she is around, and she is definitely not safe for work.”
I move her feet off my lap and kneel on the floor next to her, smile, and graze her bottom lip with my thumb. “But she is mine and I want her back.”
Her eyes search mine for the truth in my words.
“She is mine and I love everything about her. I love her lips and the crazy words that come out of them and I especially love when she says dick.”
River snickers.
“I love that when she enters a room, she fills it with so much life that there’s no possible way I can ignore her. And I tried, girl, I tried.” I lean in until my forehead touches hers. I take a deep breath in, inhaling her scent, then I pull back a few inches so I can look her in the eyes.
Because of Liam Page 22
