Her expression a bit sheepish, she said, “I know. I sorta lied about that. But I had good reason.”
Her boots on, she picked up a hairbrush and began to tug it through her hair. Harlan walked further into the room.
“Okay, Emily,” he said firmly. “I want to know what is going on. Are you angry at Rose? Why didn’t you want to go with her this morning? You’re obviously not sick.”
Emily whipped a rubberband around the tail of her hair, then turned to face her father. In that moment he realized more than ever how she was growing into a young adult
“I did want to go with her. But I wanted to talk to you. Alone. Without Rose here. So I figured this was the best way to do it.”
Harlan stared at his daughter. “You must be very unhappy about something to go to this much trouble to get my attention. Does this involve Rose?”
She nodded emphatically, then went over and flopped down on the edge of the bed. The mattress bounced beneath her.
“I guess I’m just confused about a lot of things,” she said, then propping both elbows on her knees, she rested her chin in her hands.
“About what?”
She frowned at him. “Daddy, do you love me?”
He chuckled fondly. “Of course I love you. I tell you so, don’t I?”
She continued to frown at him. “Yes. But do you love me enough to do almost anything for me?”
He shrugged as he tried to figure out where her young thinking was headed. For the life of him, he couldn’t figure what was prompting Emily’s odd behavior this morning. “Well, anything within reason.”
“Enough to marry Rose?”
He went very still and then he saw it on her face. A strange mix of accusation and hurt and anger roiling just beneath the surface.
“What do you mean? Has someone been saying things? Has Rose said—”
“No one has been saying anything to me!” she interrupted. “All I want to know, Daddy, is why did you marry Rose? Just so I could have a mother?”
How very different, how simple it all seemed now that Emily had put the question out loud to him. Why hadn’t he seen it before? Why had he kept trying to make his marriage to Rose into anything but what it really was? A union of love.
Because he’d been so afraid of losing her that he’d been blinded to what had already happened. He was in love with Rose. He had been from the very start.
When Harlan failed to answer, Emily prompted, “Surely that can’t be so hard to answer, Daddy.”
Harlan went over and sat down next to her. “It isn’t hard to answer, honey,” he said gently. “But first of all I want to know why you’re asking all of this?”
She looked at him with worried blue eyes. “Because I can tell something is wrong. And yesterday Rose was crying and I overheard her tell Chloe that you didn’t love her, that you only married her so that I could have a mother.”
Pain splintered inside his chest. “I wish you hadn’t heard that, Emily. Because it isn’t true.”
Her eyes widened. “Rose doesn’t lie!”
A wan smile touched Harlan’s lips. “No. Rose doesn’t lie. She was upset. She doesn’t understand that I do love her. Very much.”
Emily let out a long breath, then gave her father a big smile. “That’s what I thought. So maybe you’d better tell her and make her understand. I can’t bear to see her unhappy.”
The pain in his chest was gone now, replaced with the elated contentment of finally knowing what was in his heart.
“Oh, my little darling,” he said, curling one arm around her shoulders and hugging her to him. “I think you are very, very right. What do you say me and you drive on over to the Bar M, so I can find your new mom and tell her just that?”
Emily jumped up from the bed and crammed her hat on her head. “I say I’m ready! Oh, and Daddy,” she added as the two of them left the bedroom, “Let’s just tell Rose I got to feeling better real fast.".
Harlan laughed. “All right. But no more faking.”
Emily made a crisscross on her chest “Cross my heart.”
And no more faking for him either, Harlan promised himself.
When Harlan and Emily arrived at the Bar M, Rose had already ridden off on Pie to check the heifers. Deciding he wasn’t going to waste any more time, Harlan went down to the stable and saddled one of the working horses. He was going to find Rose and tell her exactly how he felt about her. Maybe she wouldn’t believe him. Maybe he’d already hurt her so badly she wouldn’t care. In any case, he had to try to make things right
Forty-five minutes later, Harlan spotted her. She was sitting on a rock beneath a ragged stand of mesquite trees. As he climbed down from his mount, she stared at him as if he were the last person on earth she expected to see. Then her expression quickly turned to near panic. “What’s the matter? Has Emily gotten sick? Is Justine—”
Harlan shook his head as he looped his horse’s reins over a nearby tree branch. “Nothing is wrong. Nothing that can’t be righted, I hope.”
She eyed him warily as he walked toward her. “Something has happened!”
She started to rise to her feet, but by then Harlan was there to put a hand on her shoulder and push her back on the rock.
“I came looking for you because we need to talk,” he told her.
Dear God, he wasn’t going to put her through that humiliation again, was he? If that was his intention, she’d get on Pie and ride till he couldn’t find her.
“Harlan, please…I don’t want to rehash anything about…our marriage. You either want to stay married, or you don’t. Which is it?”
Suddenly he was laughing in a way that Rose had never seen before. His eyes were sparkling and the sound coming from deep inside him was so warm and infectious that she very nearly wanted to smile herself. And she would have if her heart wasn’t so full of pain.
“My darling Rosie, do you really have to ask that? Of course I want to stay married to you.”
Of course, he says. As though she was the love, the very light of his life. Who was he trying to kid? she wondered.
Sinking down on the ground beside her, Harlan reached for her hand and drew the back of it to his lips. Bemused, Rose stared at him.
“Last night you said you didn’t hate me. Is that true?” he asked.
Over his right shoulder, she could see the heifers pilfering among the sagebrush for a blade or two of grama grass. The cows were as hungry as her heart, she realized. But the cows could and would be fed, even if she had to haul alfalfa out here to do it. Her heart, well, that was another matter.
“Yes. It was true. How could I hate you? You’ve done so much for me.”
He pressed his lips to her hand once more and Rose could only wonder how such a little kiss could make her shiver in a hundred degree heat.
“Then you do love me?”
Her eyes flew to his face. “Love you?”
He nodded gravely. “I thought you loved me after we got married. Do you still?”
She couldn’t look at him as pain began to fill her chest. “Why are you asking? So you can tell me I’ll have to quit doing that, too?”
Rose didn’t get the answer she was expecting. Before she realized his intentions Harlan pulled her off the rock and onto his lap.
“What are you doing?” she demanded, then gasped as he tilted her head against the crook of his arm.
“I’m trying to get an answer out of you. Now tell me truthfully. It’s very important”
She couldn’t be in his arms like this and lie to him. Even to save her own pride. “Yes. I love you, Harlan.”
He closed his eyes, then crushed her tightly against his chest. Stunned by it all, Rose simply clung to him and thanked God that for these few moments, at least, he wanted her.
“Oh, Rose,” he said with a groan, then eased her far enough away to reach her face. He rained little kisses over her forehead, cheeks, nose and finally her lips. “Rosie, I don’t deserve you, you know. But I’m so very grateful I have you.”
He placed a fingertip against her lips. “I was a fool, Rose. I’ve been a fool for a long time now.”
“And what made you decide this?” she had to ask.
“Emily opened my eyes. She wanted to know why I married you.”
Rose’s heart suddenly forgot to beat. “I hope you didn’t tell her the truth. She’d be hurt. She thinks we’re a real family.”
Harlan’s head swung back and forth. “I did tell her the truth. I told her I loved you. And I do. I expect I fell in love with you that first night you walked up to my horsepen and said hello.”
She struggled to get out of his lap, but he refused to let her go. “Harlan, it isn’t necessary for you to say any of this. I told you last night I understand—”
“You couldn’t, Rose! Until this morning I didn’t understand it myself. All this time I’ve been telling myself I wanted you to be my wife because Emily needed you, that the house needed a woman’s touch, that you needed my help with the ranch. But none of those things is the real reason I married you. I wanted you to be my wife because I love you. And I want you with me for always.”
She’d made the mistake of thinking he cared for her once. How could she be reckless enough to do it twice? “Harlan, I know you’re trying to be kind to me, but—”
Before she could get another word out, his arm tightened around her, his head swooped down to hers. “Kind, hell! Right now, I’m feeling anything but kind, Rose.”
Her heart began to pound with wild, sweet hope as his lips nibbled hungrily at her throat. “You said you’d never let yourself love another woman,” she said pointedly.
“Hmm. Well, I wasn’t nearly as strong as I thought.” He pulled the scarf from her ponytail and ran his fingers through the long red waves. “Like an idiot, I believed I could make love to you and keep my heart out of it. But it didn’t work that way.”
“You said you didn’t want to make love to me anymore,” she whispered, the pain of that moment mirrored in her eyes. “Do you know how much that hurt me?”
His features twisted with anguish. “You can’t imagine how much it hurt me. But I was crazy, Rose. Crazy with fear. Each time we made love I knew I was falling that much harder for you. And it scared me. All I could think about was loving you and then losing you…the way I lost Karen.”
Rose’s heart was suddenly aching with the need to reassure him. “Oh, Harlan, none of us knows what tomorrow might bring. That’s why we have to take what we have today. Love each other today and be happy for it.”
“I remember a time not so long ago that you didn’t feel that way. You were afraid to marry me.”
She reached up and touched his face, then smiled with the sheer joy of knowing her husband loved her. “I’m not sure I wasn’t afraid ten minutes ago. But I’m not now. Now that I know you love me.”
Groaning deep in his throat, he buried his face in her hair. “I couldn’t stand you being distant with me. I couldn’t bear not making love to you.”
Suddenly his fingers were on the buttons of her blouse and Rose laughed softly as the fabric quickly parted and his lips found the valley between her breasts.
“Harlan! We’re out here in the pasture! Anyone might come along!”
Chuckling, he continued to unbutton her clothing. “You and Emily are the only one’s who’ve ridden across this land in months and she’s back at the ranch baby-sitting the twins. So we’re all alone. And I’ve got a fever only you can cure.”
Put like that, Rose didn’t care if they were out in the middle of nowhere beneath a few ragged mesquite trees. She’d never felt this much happiness in her life, never had her heart so filled to the brim with love.
With a sly little smile, she pulled the stampede string over her head, then tossed her hat out of the way. “Okay, Mr. Hamilton, I’m ready to see if you can back up all this talk.”
Growling with laughter, he flipped her onto the ground, then hunkered over her on his hands and knees. “In a few minutes I’m gonna have you thinking you’re in heaven.”
Grabbing the front of his shirt, Rose pulled him down against the length of her. “That’s a pretty tall order, cowboy. You think you can fill it?”
Love shone on his face as he lowered his head to hers. Rose wound her arms around his neck and gave herself up to the hungry demand of his mouth.
So lost was she in his kiss, it took her several moments to smell the smoke. When she did, she pushed at Harlan’s shoulders and struggled to sit up.
“Harlan, something is on fire!”
He grinned at her mussed hair and swollen lips. “I thought it was you and me.”
“No! Something is burning! Smell the smoke?”
Seeing she was serious, Harlan lifted his head and sniffed. Then he saw it, a gray-white cloud of smoke rising to the south of them.
“Something is burning.” He stood up for a better look. Rose scrambled to her feet and grabbed her hat.
“Can you tell where it is?” she asked shading her eyes with her hand and peering in the general direction of the smoke.
“It’s on Bar M land,” he said grimly’.
Fear shot through Rose. “Dear God, it’s not the house, is it?”
She was shaking so badly, her fingers refused to work. Seeing her distress, Harlan brushed her hands aside and buttoned her shirt.
“No. The smoke is south of here and the house. Maybe we’d better mount up and see what’s going on.”
Nodding, she crammed on her hat and drew the stampede string tight beneath her chin.
“I’m ready!”
Harlan handed her Pie’s reins then gathered his own mount. In moments they were riding into the wind and open range. In less than five minutes they reached a small summit where they reined the horses to an abrupt halt. Beyond them, no more than a hundred yards away a wall of fire spanned at least a mile or more.
“Oh…oh, Harlan, it’s a sea of fire!” Rose shouted. “What are we going to do?”
“There’s nothing we can do to stop it, Rose. I’d say we better hightail it back to the house and call the firefighters. If we’re lucky, Chloe or someone has already spotted the smoke and put in the call.”
Rose nodded in agreement and they turned their horses and urged them into a desperate gallop back along the trail they’d taken only moments earlier.
They had ridden a half mile when Harlan shouted for her attention, then pointed to the left of him. Rose’s stomach nosedived with terror as she saw another wall of fire sweeping straight at them.
“We can’t outrun that! Not in this heat and wind!” Pie was already lathered and heaving with exhaustion. She wasn’t going to kill her horse just to try and save herself. She couldn’t.
“I’d already decided that. Come on! If I remember right, there’s an arroyo somewhere east of here. We’ll ride to the bottom of it and hope the fire jumps over us.”
Rose followed his lead while telling herself not to panic. Fire couldn’t move that fast, could it? But each time she glanced over her shoulder, she could see the flames were gaining ground on the two of them. Fanned by the wind, smoke and burning sparks soon enveloped the whole area. Rose reined Pie abreast of Harlan’s mount and reached for his hand. He squeezed it tightly and yelled over the din of the flames.
“Don’t worry, we’re almost there!”
“But the fire is almost on us!” Even as she spoke pieces of burning sage and piñon whipped around their heads.
“We’ll be all right. Trust me!”
It seemed like ages passed before they finally reached the arroyo and scrambled to the bottom of it. Harlan shoved Rose into the first crevice he could find, then stripped off his heavy denim shirt and covered the both of them.
Sweat was streaming between their faces and Rose wasn’t sure which was louder, her heart pounding in her ears or the roar of the fire.
“Do
n’t be scared, my Rosie. I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” Harlan said against her ear.
Rose was gripping his shoulder so tightly her fingers ached. “This is crazy. You finally decide you want to be a real husband to me and now we’re both going to be fried!”
In spite of the approaching danger, Harlan’s chest shook with laughter. “I didn’t know you had a sense of humor, Rose. I got a real deal when I talked you into marrying me.
“Sure! I’m going to get you killed!”
Smoke had found their little hole in the bluff. Rose tried not to cough, but after a few moments it was impossible not to. Burying her face in Harlan’s neck, she held her breath for as long as she could and prayed the fire would miss them.
“Just keep holding onto me,” Harlan whispered. “It’ll be over us soon.”
He was right. In only a matter of moments, the roar and the intense heat was gone. Slowly, Harlan uncovered them and helped Rose to her feet. Her legs were so weak, she was forced to hold on to his waist to steady herself.
“If it keeps heading the way it’s going it should stop when it hits the river,” he said.
Shocked by the sight around her, Rose whispered in a stricken voice. “Everything is black!”
“Yes, but at least we’re safe.”
Through bleary eyes, she smiled at his soot- and dirtstreaked face. “And we’re together. That’s all that matters to me, Harlan.”
Pulling her tight against him, he let his kiss tell her just how grateful he was for her and her love.
“Do you think you can ride now?”
Nodding, she let him lead her over to Pie, who seemed none the worse for wear other than black soot marks on his legs and shoulders. Harlan’s mount appeared to be equally sound and Rose found it incredible that the four of them had narrowly escaped being burned.
A half hour later they reached the ranch yard. Emily came racing out to meet them. Tears of relief poured down her face as she flung herself first at her father, then at Rose.
“We were afraid you’d been burned! We were about to ride out on the horses to look for you!”
“We’re fine, honey. Just a little hot and dirty,” Harlan assured her. “Is everyone here okay?”
The Rancher's Bride Page 16
