No One to Hold

by Arell Rivers

  Rose gives a half-hearted laugh. “Cole. Really. No.”

  “No? Why not? It’s the perfect solution. I won’t even charge you rent.”

  “No.”

  “Stop being stubborn, woman. This area isn’t safe.”

  In a transparent effort to calm me down, she grabs both of my hands. “Listen, Cole. We’re just starting to date, or whatever we want to call what we’re doing. Besides, single women live here and they’re fine. This is my home. I can stand on my own two feet.”

  Ignoring the first part of her objection, I bring her hands behind her back and step forward to remove any space between us. Without any effort, I lift her up, bringing her eyes level to mine. “But it’s so much more fun if someone sweeps you off them, isn’t it Ro?”

  Her pupils dilate. I press my luck. “Say yes.”

  “I’m not a charity case.”

  “I know you’re not. You’re—” I can’t complete my sentence. Exactly what is she to me? Lover? Not yet. My girlfriend? Not yet either. But she soon will be both.

  While my thoughts have been running rampant, Rose wriggles in my arms. “Put me down, Cole.”

  I manage to keep her off the floor. “Only if you agree to move in with me.”

  “I don’t need you, or any man, to take care of me. Put me down.”

  Ignoring her request, I continue, “You’re stuck with me. You’ve already been dealing with me professionally for years. We are going to explore this new side of our relationship. And you’re going to move in to my house.”

  “You’re a pompous ass.”

  “Maybe.” I grin at her. “But you like me.”

  “Put me down,” she says again, but with decidedly less heat.

  I comply. Once her feet are on the ground, I cup her cheek in my right hand. “I need to know that you’re safe. You make me want to protect you, and I’ve never felt this way before.”

  “I haven’t lived with a man, romantically, since Chris. I can’t do this.”

  A rueful smile tugs at my lips. “Looks like this is unchartered territory for both of us. How will we know where this might lead if we don’t give it a try?”

  All this emotional honesty is exhausting. My need to kiss the woman in my arms is overwhelming. “Fair warning, I’m going to kiss you. And when I do, you’re going to forget all the reasons why we shouldn’t do this. You’re going to believe in me, in us. For my part, I’m going to experience what it feels like to be completely connected with someone for the first time. Consider it the first kiss of the rest of our lives.”

  I dip my head toward hers, stroking her cheek with my thumb, and hear her inhale. Her eyes close. For a split second, I watch the pulse at the base of her neck escalate out of control, matching my own rhythm.

  My lips softly brush against hers. Soon, I deepen the kiss, asking and receiving permission for my tongue to enter her mouth. To dance with hers. Releasing her wrists, I crush her soft body against my hardening one. Her arms snake around my neck.

  I plant light kisses on her eyes and the tip of her nose, reveling in the feel of her. We are caught up in each other, lost in a place where time doesn’t matter. This is Rose and me, and it’s exactly where we belong.

  Rose’s nails drift up and down my back, making me shudder against her. My mouth returns to hers in a frenzy, which is more than matched by her passion. I sense her trust in me developing as I send my assurances through my lips.

  I could carry her off to her bedroom right now and fuck her senseless, but I know she’s not quite ready for that. I don’t want just her body either, although I’m sure it will give me untold pleasure. No, I need more than that.

  Rose moans softly when I break our kiss. We’re still wrapped in each other’s arms with no space between us. She looks up at me. Her ice blue eyes are filled with wonder, and it brings me untold pride that I put that look there. “You make me almost believe, Cole.”

  “I’ll take that for now. Someday soon, you’ll believe 100%. Right now, I’ll believe 200%, for both of us.”

  She gives me a heartrending smile that almost brings me to my knees. “I’ll try.”

  “That’s all I ask. Now, will you pack your bags?”

  “How about this? I’m not saying that I’m going to move in with you, but I’ll pack for a few days and we can reassess once things are sorted out here, okay?”

  Grinning, I say, “I’ll take this indefinite trial period as a first step.”

  THE REST OF THE week passes in a blur. I’ve been recording Moving Forward Slowly every day, and my whole team is happy with the progress. I’ve been in the zone in the studio. It feels so damn good to get back to making music.

  But music isn’t the only thing that feels damn good. Each evening, I get to come home to Rose. Each night, I get to sleep with her in my arms. All the guys at the studio have been making wisecracks, fishing for intel about why I’m so happy all the time. I haven’t shared with any of them.

  It’s finally Friday. Given our schedules this week, I decided to wait until tonight for our second first time. Rose gets up too damned early to get to Gruesome’s office, and I’ve been working too late at the studio.

  The phone interrupts my thoughts. “Hey Dan. What’s up?”

  He starts right in. “Rose, that’s what’s up! We haven’t talked since Sunday afternoon. All I got was that text that you were working things out with her, and then you fell off the planet.”

  I have to laugh. “Dan, man, sometimes you’re worse than a teenage girl. You need to get out of that house more—too much estrogen.”

  “You’re an asshole, Cole. Tell me this: should I keep scouting out dates for you?”

  This is the moment of truth. “No. Rose and I are . . . well, I’m not sure what we are, but we’re trying to figure it out. I’m not interested in seeing anyone else.”

  “So, what’s the deal?”

  “She’s moved in with me for an indefinite trial period.”

  “Excuse me? A what?”

  “She’s not ready to admit that she’s moved in with me. I’m just happy I got her out of the shithole she was living in. Well, it wasn’t that bad, but her place was broken into, for fuck’s sake. Rose is fiercely independent, so it’s hard for her to lean on people. She’s had it rough.”

  “How so?”

  Dan’s my best friend, but this information is Rose’s to share. I don’t have the right to tell her secrets, even to him. “Let’s say she worked really hard for everything.”

  “I’m glad she has you now, buddy. Am I assuming correctly that you are after more than just sex with her?”

  “Yeah. Sex, I can get anywhere. With Rose, I want so much more.”

  “Oh boy.” He makes the sound of a whip cracking.

  “Don’t worry, Dan, I’m following your example.”

  “Touché.”

  “Listen, I’d better get going. I have a few more things to do at the studio and then I’m meeting Rose at home.” I leave off the part about my plans for tonight. “Give Suzanne and Emma my love.”

  “Will do. Let’s try to get together this weekend.”

  “Sounds good. Text me. Bye.”

  I put in a few more hours on the album and then stop at a couple stores before heading home. I’m all set for Operation Rose.

  It’s no surprise I’ve beaten Rose home. My Rose works extraordinarily long hours, but even though she’s usually so tired by 10 p.m. that she’s nearly comatose, she loves her job.

  Rose got her car back on Tuesday, which made her extremely happy and me much less so. For one, that car is a breakdown waiting to happen. Two, its return effectively eliminated my role as her chauffeur, which I loved despite having to leave at such an ungodly hour. Three, the cops still don’t have any leads about who wrote the warning to her across the back window, which makes me uneasy. Fourth, and most importantly, it gives her the independence to leave at any time, which scares the shit out of me.

  Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I put dinn
er in the oven to stay warm and make my way to my bedroom. While Rose and I have been sharing this room all week, we’ve done little beyond sleeping. I haven’t wanted to rush our second first time together. That fact alone makes me a little nervous. I haven’t given sex a second thought since high school. It’s been so easy for me to find a willing body whenever, wherever I wanted. But with Rose, everything’s so different.

  I begin by setting up the bathroom with candles. I take pink, yellow and orange roses and scatter their petals across the bed and floor. The lighting is perfectly dimmed, and the playlists created especially for tonight are set to broadcast over the speakers.

  After doing a final check to ensure everything is to my liking, I go to the family room to wait for her to get home. I pick up the book she gave me, but it’s too hard to concentrate. Needing a distraction, I set about putting a bottle of champagne on ice and selecting two glasses. I’m about to sit down and try to read more of the book when I hear her car pull up.

  Our evening can finally get started.

  Before she reaches the door, I open it. I suck in my breath; Rose is unbelievably gorgeous. Even with her hair in a ponytail, wearing glasses, blazer and skirt, I’ve never seen anyone so beautiful. How did I miss her for years?

  “Welcome home, Ro,” I whisper, removing her laptop case from her fingers. “You’re a sight for sore eyes. Come here.” I open my arms and she walks right into them.

  After several moments pass, I pull back to look into her blue eyes and ask, “Want some champagne?”

  “What are we celebrating?”

  “Us.”

  “Oh.”

  I set about opening the chilled bottle. The cork pops with a loud flourish, causing her to giggle. “I love your giggle. Never stop.”

  “You make it easy to laugh. Thanks,” she says, accepting the flute.

  I pour a second glass and return to her side. “Come on, let’s sit poolside. It’s a beautiful night. Besides, I love seeing you blush in the moonlight.”

  On cue, Rose starts to blush, which is adorable.

  Taking her hand, I lead us through the kitchen to the French doors and over to one of the wicker sofas positioned on the patio, poolside. I swipe at my phone, and jazz music fills the evening air. She sits down next to me, taking off her shoes. Frowning at the distance between us, I pull her onto my lap.

  “Much better. Now, let me make a toast.” She turns her face toward me with a look of anticipation in her eyes.

  “Rose, tonight is about us. You and me. This week has been better than I ever imagined it could be. It’s been wonderful sharing my home with you, waking up with you in my arms each morning. Tonight’s our time to celebrate.”

  I bring my glass to hers and we clink them. I stop before taking a drink. “No, wait. I want to do this right.”

  Entwining my arm with hers, we sip our champagne from the other’s flutes, laughing at the awkwardness of the gesture. Yet it feels so right. Enjoying the simple pleasure of being together out in the evening air, we finish our champagne.

  After pouring each one of us a second glass, I dip a strawberry into mine. “Open,” I command, and she instantly obeys.

  I circle her lips with the strawberry before putting just the tip into her mouth. When she goes to bite it, I pull back, resting it on her plump bottom lip. Slowly, I push the berry back into her mouth, deeper this time, but I return it to her lip when she tries to close her teeth around it again. Her mouth forms a sensuous smile as her eyes turn a smoky blue.

  Holding the fruit in front of her, I ask, “Do you want the strawberry?”

  “Only if you want me to.”

  “Oh, I have every intention of letting you enjoy it. Suck,” I order, inserting the berry deeper into her mouth. Her cheeks hollow as she does as instructed. She’s staring at me with half-closed eyes while she fellates the strawberry. My cock expands at the sheer sensuality of the act.

  “Now, tell me how it tastes.”

  Rose takes a bite of the berry and some of its juices dribble down her chin. “It’s delicious, Cole. Unlike anything I’ve ever tasted before. Sweet yet tangy at the same time.”

  Her words do me in. I’m unable to contain my groan as I pull her into my embrace, my tongue flicking at the dripping strawberry juices, finally kissing her like my survival depends upon it which, I’m guessing, it does. Even lost in my own vortex of desire, I recognize that she’s returning my kisses with an equal passion.

  I want to be inside her this instant, but I have to wait before ushering her upstairs to the bedroom I’ve prepared for us. Anticipation is something that I’ve never felt any need to experience in the past, but I intend on putting it to the test tonight. I’ve forgotten our first time, so I’m determined to make this once twice as memorable.

  With that single thought in mind, I pull back from Rose’s swollen lips. Gently, I pull her hair free of the ponytail holder, running my fingers against her scalp. She moans and pushes her head back into my hands.

  “I want you, Ro.” She looks at me with eyes filled with desire. It takes all my strength to utter my next words. “Let’s go eat. I have dinner in the oven for us.”

  “But I thought we would go upstairs.” The fact that she’s blushing while she essentially admits that she wants to have sex with me is delectable.

  “We’ll make it up there soon. We have all night. We both need to eat to get our strength up.”

  “Well, I guess you do have a point. I wouldn’t want you conking out on me.”

  An amused sound escapes my lips. “Sweetheart, there’s not a chance in hell of that happening. I’m concerned about your strength, not mine.”

  Smiling wickedly, she reaches forward and cups my cheek. “Can I have one more strawberry for the road?”

  “Miss Bloomer, your wish is my command.”

  If I thought feeding her that first berry was difficult, this second one nearly unmans me. As I hold it for her, her tongue darts out and she licks it all over before taking a big bite. “You’re a minx. Now, to the kitchen, woman. It’s your turn to feed me.”

  We make our way toward the kitchen slowly, stopping every few steps to kiss, caress, stroke and tease each other’s bodies. The scent of her arousal is heavy in the air. My cock is at full mast. By the time we reach the kitchen, I’m doing my damnedest to stop myself from laying her out across the table. Instead, I throw myself onto a chair, almost needing to sit on my hands to stop from touching her. The worst part is that she knows exactly what she’s doing to me.

  “Dinner’s in the oven. Serve me.”

  “When did you get this bossy, Cole?”

  “When a beautiful, barefoot woman entered my lair.” In response, she giggles, which causes my cock to jump in her direction.

  “Yes, Master,” she quips as she sets about placing the hot dish onto the granite countertop and gathering the plates and utensils. I should help her, but if I get up now, I might lose the rest of my tenuous restraint.

  From across the table, she spreads a placemat in front of me. In turn, I grab her wrists and look deeply into her eyes. Passion simmers beneath the surface of her gaze, and I intend to make it erupt before the main course is finished.

  Anticipation.

  Leaning forward, I look into her eyes, willing her lips to part. They do, prompting me to give her a smirk. We hold this position for a few moments while she stares at my lips, lightly panting.

  I whisper, “Dinner.”

  Frustration flares from her eyes. She pivots and walks toward the counter, swaying slightly as if drunk. I offer her a light swat on her beautiful ass as she passes, which earns me a sassy look from over her shoulder. This woman challenges me at every turn, and I’m loving it.

  While Rose is dishing up our meals, I rearrange the placemats so that they are side-by-side. I also move her chair next to mine, although I have little intention of letting her sit on it when I have a perfectly serviceable lap. Completing the atmosphere, I switch to my “foreplay” playlist via my p
hone. Luther Vandross starts to croon. Perfect.

  Rose approaches the table with our plates. Realizing how I’ve rearranged the seating, she stops abruptly. I look up at her unapologetically. Accepting my unspoken challenge, she puts the dishes on the table according to my new seating chart. She approaches her chair and straightens her skirt before sitting down. I make a big production of placing her napkin on her lap and pouring us glasses of Pinot Grigio to go with our dinner of salmon with pasta and truffle oil.

  “This looks delicious, Cole.”

  “It’s one of my favorites, and not only because it’s a pure aphrodisiac,” I reply, placing my hand on her knee.

  She smirks at me. “Not taking any chances tonight, huh?”

  Running my hand under her skirt and up her thigh, I pitch my voice lower and say, “It’s all about taking chances, Ro.”

  Her fork stills en route to her mouth, and she lets out a small gasp. For my part, I continue my exploration, toying with her panties. They need to come off. “Eat.”

  I enjoy a few forkfuls of the delicious dinner while my left hand plucks at the waistband of her panties.

  “I can’t eat while you’re doing that to me,” she objects.

  “Then take them off.” Seems like a reasonable solution to me. “Let me help you. Open your legs.” Her compliance will show me that she trusts me. It’s the moment of truth.

  After a few seconds, Rose’s legs open slightly. Not wasting any time, I turn her whole body toward mine, grab her panties on both sides and tug sharply, rending them in half. “I’ll get you another pair.” The look on her face is priceless.

  “In fact, I don’t think you need that chair either.” I pluck her up and put her where I’ve wanted her all along, right on my lap. Her legs are on either side of mine; her back is resting against my chest. “Now we can eat.”

  I shovel in some of the delicious pasta. Of course, I finish my plate before she’s even halfway done with hers. “Are you enjoying the dinner, Ro?”

  “It’s really good. Oh!” That last exclamation resulted from my fingers invading her sleek pussy. The tinkle of a utensil hitting the tile joins the dulcet tones of Sade.