She licked her lips in a slow, deliberate gesture, which on anyone else I would think was flirtatious, but I’d seen enough of Ella to know this was her being herself.
“Thank you, I appreciate it. I know you two are close, and the last thing I want is to come between you.”
“I don’t think you could ever do that, Ella.”
For a moment we stayed there, locked in space and time, as if nothing would ever move us. My heart beat so fast and my head spun, but I couldn’t take my eyes from hers.
She nodded, dropping her gaze. “Thank you.”
“You already said that.”
She peered back up, her eyebrows inching up as she took in my grin. “So now you’re teasing me?”
I waggled my eyebrows. “I’m good at that. I thought you’d realised that by now. I give Sam enough crap.”
“I don’t like being teased.”
She pouted, and I lost all sense of myself. When Ella looked sad, it was as if the skies grew dark and rain began to fall. I never, ever wanted the rain to fall. Not for her.
In that moment, I knew I was in love.
5
MATT
It became Sam, Ella and I. The three of us spent so much time together it was crazy. And even though I loved spending time with both of them, I struggled as I watched them fall in love with each other.
We all graduated, and went onto our first full-time jobs. I went to a software development company as an intern, Sam taught computing at a nearby high school, and Ella went to work as a business analyst. Life was good.
When it came to the way I felt about Ella, it wasn’t fair to give myself false hope, remembering the girl in the tight dress sucking her drink through a straw. But I couldn’t help it. No matter how close her and Sam got, some part of me hoped for the day that she’d turn around and see me in another light.
Not that I didn’t date. Ella tried to take care of that.
First, she set me up with Carla, a perfectly lovely woman who was actually pretty sweet. We had absolutely nothing in common, except for knowing Ella. She hated everything I said I liked, and the only time we were in tune was over dinner when we selected the same meal.
One date.
Then there was Marissa. That got to two dates, but only because she felt ill during the first one and had to go home early. I figured she was ditching me, only for her to ask me out again. I didn’t know why. Last I saw her, she’d been fleeing the restaurant having been horribly offended by me wanting to order steak. I didn’t know she was a vegan.
“I’m not doing this anymore,” I said to Ella over dinner at home. She’d cooked lasagne, and it was the most amazing thing I thought I’d ever eaten.
“Not doing what?”
“Dating your friends. I’m sorry, they are very lovely, but not for me.”
She smiled half-heartedly. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I was only trying to help.”
“Matt’s always been a slow mover. It takes him at least six dates to even kiss a girl,” Sam said.
I picked up my fork and pretended to throw it at his face.
Ella’s eyes were on me from under those long eyelashes. “Is that true?”
Sam roared with laughter while I shook my head. “No. Sam is full of shit. I will admit I don’t tend to jump into bed on the first date; I like to treat a girl better than that.”
Blush crept from Ella’s neck up to her cheeks. I watched, intrigued as she licked her lips, glancing between us as if unsure if she should say anything else. Sam didn’t notice, too wrapped up in his joking dig at me to pay attention to her, while I didn’t miss a thing.
“Me? I move fast.” He waggled his eyebrows at her, grinning as she laughed, her eyes now fixed completely on him. There was that look, the one of total and utter devotion. I was momentarily forgotten.
Ella leaned over, kissing him, and he sighed as they parted.
“Love this lady,” he said, stroking her face.
“Do you want me to leave you alone?” I asked.
“You don’t have to leave. Have some more dinner.” Ella always made me welcome, even when I was clearly the third wheel.
“Thank you, Ella.” I flashed the nicest smile I could at her, leaving Sam rolling his eyes.
“Do you two want to get a room?” he asked.
This was the usual banter between us. I felt almost like an equal in their relationship. Except I didn’t get the love and affection.
“Any time. I’m sure Ella would love to spend some moments alone with me.” I fluttered my eyelashes, Ella spraying the mouthful of juice she’d sipped all over the table.
“Great. Orange lasagne.” Sam laughed.
That was the problem. I loved both of them far too much to try to screw with the thing they had.
“You might have someone to spend time with if you went out with girls more than once.” Ella poked her tongue at me, and I returned the favour.
I shrugged. “I guess I won’t know what I want until I find it.” Our eyes met, and she smiled as if she understood. I guess she did, given the way her relationship with Sam had gone.
“Good for you,” she said quietly.
Sam rolled his eyes. “Let’s finish dinner, then we can have a beer in front of the television. What’s on?”
Ella picked up her phone, scanning through the television guide. “Oh. There are re-runs of Thunderbirds on channel four. I haven’t seen that for ages.”
“What on earth do you want to watch that old crap for?” Sam flicked a glance between us. “Oh, let me guess. I’m outnumbered. Matt likes that show, too.”
She grinned. “Seriously?”
“I love all those old shows. Dad and I spent hours watching them when I was a kid.”
Her eyes widened. “Me too. My dad was a huge fan. Let’s watch it.”
Ignoring Sam’s groan, I nodded. “Sounds good.”
“I am totally changing my ringtone for you to the Thunderbirds theme.” She pressed buttons on her phone, finding what she wanted and playing it triumphantly.
“Dude, you’re totally killing me right now,” Sam said.
“You can always go and watch something else in your bedroom.” I laughed as Sam threw a teaspoon, missing my head by about an inch.
He sniffed, putting on a show. “Maybe I will. Leave you to your puppets.”
“Marionettes,” Ella said, not skipping a beat.
Sam laughed. “Trust you to make that distinction.”
“She’s right though.” I winked at Ella, who gave Sam a smug smile.
“Still puppets. Anyway, I’m out to watch a movie in my room.” He pecked Ella on the cheek. “You can always join me if you get bored with your puppet show.”
She laughed as he stood, grasping his hand as he slowly pulled away.
“I’ll help you clean up,” I said.
Ella shook her head. “I can do it.” She smiled. “I appreciate you guys letting me move in.”
“Doesn’t mean you have to clean up after us.” I stood, picking up my plate and Sam’s.
“I like looking after you two. You’re so easy to take care of.”
“I guess Sam needs food and beer to make him happy.”
She picked up the lasagne dish. “What makes you happy?”
I shrugged. “The same.”
Following her through to the kitchen, I couldn’t keep my eyes from her hips. The way she walked was an aphrodisiac, let alone everything else about her.
I opened the dishwasher, slotting the plates in and going back out to the table to collect her plate and any leftover cutlery. On the way, back I caught her eye, smiling as she opened the fridge, taking out two beers.
“Are you going to get Sam one?” I asked.
Ella shook her head. “If he wants one, he can come and get it. I’m going to turn the TV on.”
I joined her on the couch, right as the show started. That distinctive theme tune commenced, and we were laughing, saying the words in time with the television, mimicking
the music.
She might not have been my girlfriend, but spending time with Ella was fun.
And I kept falling in deeper.
PART II
I couldn’t breathe
6
MATT
The bad thing about being in love with someone so utterly unattainable who also lived in the same house as you was that they were always around. The good thing was that they were always around.
I dated. Not a little, but a lot. Woman after woman entered and left my life. Anything to get my mind off the fact that the woman I was in love with loved someone else.
Two years into their relationship, Ella and Sam bought a house together. Her parents contributed a large amount of money for a deposit, and our cosy villa was too much for me to cope with by myself. They moved out to Hobsonville, a suburb to the west of Auckland city. I found a small apartment in the city. The idea being to move on, find my own way and maybe meet someone special.
Not long after moving, I sat on a bench to catch my breath after running, only to be joined by a tall, slim brunette, with long legs and the deepest brown eyes I’d ever seen. She stood with one foot on the bench, stretching, and gazed down at me judgmentally.
“I saw you run as far as the bench and sit down. Shouldn’t you be stretching or something?”
I shrugged. “I got sick of running.”
She grinned and sat down on the bench beside me. “Fair enough. I was thinking about going for coffee. Want to join me?”
How could I resist such a tempting proposal? She was gorgeous.
We crossed the road, entering the coffee shop opposite the bench.
Her name was Christie. From that first day where we’d gone to share a coffee to now, six weeks later, I’d enjoyed her company. We both worked in IT, shared a sense of humour, and from our second week together, the sex had been off the charts. And frequent enough that I’d not seen anything of Ella or Sam.
I still thought of them often, and when they invited me to dinner because they hadn’t seen me for so many weeks, I leapt at the opportunity to introduce them to Christie. She was funny, smart, sexy—everything that should have clicked. And it did, when we were together. Alone, I still thought of Ella sometimes. I’d never had the same initial reaction to anyone else as I had to her, and I wondered if I ever would.
The evening started pleasantly enough. We got to Ella and Sam’s, and I knocked, nervous but excited. If Christie hit it off with these two, it’d be good for all of us. Especially me.
Ella opened the door, screeching at the sight of me. Christie stepped back as Ella flung her arms around my neck, hugging me tight before I even got in the door. My nostrils filled with that familiar scent, which my heart responded to uninvited. Down boy.
“Matt. It’s been forever. You need to tell me everything you’ve been doing. We’ve missed you so much.” Ella’s cheeks were flushed, her dimples coming to life as her genuine warm smile lit up the front step.
“Sounds great. Ella, I’d like you to meet Christie. My girlfriend.” I’d told Ella on the phone I’d be bringing someone, but hadn’t gone too far into details, wanting to surprise them with the fact that I now had a life.
Ella blanked. Her face was unreadable, then slowly the corners of her mouth curled up into a smile. What that was about, I didn’t know, but she seemed to force herself to wave to Christie. “Hi, Christie. Come in. We’ve heard nothing about you.” Just like that, the previous Ella reappeared, and she was all smiles and sunshine. She led us into the house where Sam stood in the living room. Guess I’d caught her by surprise.
“Matt.” Sam grinned, and his expression didn’t change as he cast his eyes over my girl.
“Sam, this is Christie. Christie, this is the famous Sam you’ve heard all about,” I said.
Sam laughed, extending his hand for her to shake. “Please ignore anything Matt’s told you. It’ll all be lies.”
She stared at him with wide eyes. “But he had so many good things to say.” She deadpanned, and I roared with laughter. Ella now clung to Sam’s side and took a closer look at Christie.
“Oh, you are good. Matt, I can already tell you this one’s a keeper.”
I met Christie’s eyes. “Maybe.”
Christie grinned in response, grabbing my arm and swinging it in hers.
“Beer?” Ella spoke, her eyes focused on me.
“Sounds good. Christie?” Beside me, Christie nodded, and I leaned against her.
“You’re driving,” she whispered.
“One, and then we’ll have dinner. I’ll be fine by the time we go home.” I kissed her temple. “Promise.”
“Great,” Ella said brightly, smiling at both of us. Whatever had crawled up her butt was clearly gone.
“So, Christie, what do you do?” Sam held out a hand to indicate she should sit on the couch, and I nodded.
“I’ll help Ella.” Maybe I could find out what was wrong, that swing from flat to happy. Living with the two of them, I’d seen the ups and downs of their relationship. It had been mostly ups until now, but that didn’t mean they hadn’t argued. The arguments would hit Ella the hardest; Sam was always one to bounce back and move on.
Have they had a fight?
I followed the direction Ella had gone into, pushing the door open that led to the kitchen. She stood over the stovetop, stirring something in a pot, the aroma of roasting chicken making my mouth water. I peeked over her shoulder, but she didn’t hear me, or wasn’t reacting to my presence. In the pot appeared to be good old-fashioned homemade gravy.
With her head bowed over the pot and her hair tied up in a bun, I noticed for the first time a mole on the back of her neck below her hairline. It was mesmerising. The urge to lean over and kiss it came out of the blue, and I couldn’t take my eyes from it. From her.
“Sam, I can feel your breath on the back of my neck. Behave. We have guests.” She turned, her eyes that dazzling blue that caught me every time, and they widened as she saw it was me.
“Matt.” Her smile widened, her cheeks flushing as I grinned at her.
“I came to see if you needed some help.”
“I was checking on the food. It’s nearly done. If you want to grab the beers, I’ll be back in the living room shortly.”
I nodded. “Of course.”
I opened the fridge door, taking three beers and carrying them back out to the living room. Sam sat on a chair facing the couch, and seemed to be deep in conversation with Christie. I grinned. He didn’t notice I was on the way back, and I moved slowly, pressing the cold beer against the back of his neck. He shrieked, Christie bursting out laughing as I chuckled. Sam leaped out of his chair and stared me down.
“Dick,” he said, grinning as he took the beer from me.
“You two are both dicks.” Ella came out from the kitchen, passing me and sitting with Christie on the couch. She turned to her. “This is what I put up with for two years; can you believe it?” She really was back to her usual charming self now, smiling brightly at my girlfriend. Maybe she hadn’t been feeling well earlier.
“I bet they kept you on your toes.” Christie was equally warm, and I locked gazes with her, giving her a reassuring smile. The thought of coming here had made her nervous, especially given how long I’d known Sam. She’d fretted that he wouldn’t like her. Even though he was committed to Ella, being female gave Christie a huge advantage. Sam was guaranteed to be a fan.
“Ella kept us on our toes. I spent two years tripping over her underwear, and she wasn’t even my girlfriend,” I said.
Ella shrugged. “I had to keep my things somewhere.”
“I couldn’t get a towel from the bathroom with a bra falling on my head.” I sat on the other side of Christie, Ella reaching over and slapping me on the arm.
“It’s true.” I knew Sam would back me up. “Ella used to stash them at the top of the cupboard to dry them naturally. She still does. Watch out if you need a towel.”
Christie laughed. “I’ll keep t
hat in mind.”
“Just so we can get off the topic of my underwear, dinner is nearly ready,” Ella said.
“Do you cook?” Sam asked Christie.
Christie shook her head. “Kind of. I can boil water.” She gave me an affectionate smile. “Matt’s been doing a lot of cooking for us.”
“Matt’s a good cook. He makes such a good mac and cheese.” Ella stood, taking a couple of steps toward the kitchen door.
“I don’t eat a lot of carbs. He hasn’t made me that. Maybe I’ll give it a go.”
I squeezed Christie’s hand as Ella disappeared again. From where we sat, I could see the table was set and ready for dinner. In typical Ella fashion, she’d gone to great lengths to make everything perfect.
Over dinner, the banter continued. Christie got the rundown on almost everything, from the time Sam and I had met as children, through to our uni days. The food was amazing, and the company superb. For the first time since we’d arrived, I relaxed and enjoyed the evening.
“We have something to tell you.” Ella grinned, glancing at Sam. He had a silly smile on his face as well, and I eyed both of them suspiciously.
“What are you two up to?”
She took a deep breath, glancing at Sam again, and waved her hand around. “We’re getting married.”
“I thought I spotted a ring earlier,” Christie said with a smile.
For just a moment, I let the mask slip. I couldn’t help it. Ella and Sam were too wound up in their own excitement to notice, but Christie saw. The pain in her eyes was unbearable as I put that smile back on my face to cover the hurt I felt that Ella was lost to me for good. Not that she’d ever been mine, but I guess in my own selfish heart I’d held out some hope that if things didn’t work out with her and Sam, I could be there to pick up the pieces.
“That’s fantastic, you two. Congratulations.”
I turned my head back toward Christie. She sat, staring at her plate, looking up and blinking as if she’d been asleep. “That’s wonderful.”
Ella grinned, holding her hand still so we could see the ring. The diamond solitaire glinted in the dining room light, and she snuggled against Sam. “Thank you.”
In a Lifetime Page 3
