Just Doomed!

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Just Doomed! Page 11

by Andy Griffiths


  SCORE: One point for each ‘yes’ answer.

  3–5 You are a practical joking genius. You will love this book.

  1–2 You are a good practical joker. You will love this book.

  0 You are not a practical joker.

  You are what practical jokers call a ‘victim’. You will love this book.

  Just Annoying!

  By Andy Griffiths

  Illustrated by Terry Denton

  Is this the right book for you?

  Take the ANNOYING TEST and find out.

  YES NO

  Do you ask ‘Are we there yet?’ over and over on long car trips?

  Do you like to drive people mad by copying everything they say and do?

  Do you hog the shower and use up all the hot water?

  Do you enjoy asking silly questions that have no real answers?

  Do you swing on the clothesline whenever you get the chance?

  SCORE: One point for each ‘yes’ answer.

  3–5 You are obviously a very annoying person. You will love this book.

  1–2 You are a fairly annoying person. You will love this book.

  0 You don’t realise how much fun being annoying can be. You will love this book.

  Just Stupid!

  By Andy Griffiths

  Illustrated by Terry Denton

  Is this the right book for you?

  Take the STUPID TEST and find out.

  YES NO

  Do you worry about getting sucked into the top of escalators?

  Do you push doors marked PULL and pull doors marked PUSH?

  Do you believe a bogeyman hides under your bed?

  Do you automatically turn around when someone calls ‘Hey, Stupid!’?

  Do you think that being able to stuff your mouth full of marshmallows is a sign of superior intelligence?

  SCORE: One point for each ‘yes’ answer.

  3–5 You are extremely stupid. You will love this book

  1–2 You are fairly stupid. You will love this book.

  0 You think you’re really smart but deep down you’re as stupid as the rest of us. You will love this book.

  Just Crazy!

  By Andy Griffiths

  Illustrated by Terry Denton

  Is this the right book for you?

  Take the CRAZY TEST and find out.

  YES NO

  Do you bounce so high on your bed that you hit your head on the ceiling?

  Do you ever look in the mirror and see a crazy maniac staring back at you?

  Do you like to read stories about kittens, puppies and ponies getting mashed and pulverised?

  Do you sometimes get the urge to take your clothes off and cover yourself in mud?

  Do you often waste your time taking crazy tests like this one?

  SCORE: One point for each ‘yes’ answer.

  3–5 You are completely crazy. You will love this book.

  1–2 You are not completely crazy, but you’re not far off it. You will love this book.

  0 You are so crazy you don’t even realise you’re crazy. You will love this book.

  Just Disgusting!

  By Andy Griffiths

  Illustrated by Terry Denton

  Is this the right book for you?

  Take the DISGUSTING TEST and find out.

  YES NO

  Do you do any—or all—of the following: pick your nose, talk in burps or wee in swimming pools?

  Do you wear the same undies two (or more) days in a row?

  Do you wish you knew the most disgusting word in the world?

  Do you think brussel sprouts are a delicious mouth-watering treat?

  Do you like stories about dead flies, giant slugs and mysterious brown blobs?

  SCORE: One point for each ‘yes’ answer.

  3–5 You are completely and utterly disgusting. You will love this book.

  1–2 You are fairly disgusting. You will love this book.

  0 You are a disgusting liar. You will love this book.

  Just Shocking!

  By Andy Griffiths

  Illustrated by Terry Denton

  Is this the right book for you?

  Take the SHOCKING TEST and find out.

  YES NO

  Do you wish you could drive around in a monster truck crushing everybody and everything that gets in your way?

  Do you love watching videos of people having painful accidents?

  Do you do any—or all—of the following: touch electric fences, play with loaded mousetraps or put buttons up your nose?

  Do you think stories about exploding pink butterflies are funny?

  Do you ever laugh so hard that you feel like you’re going to throw up all over yourself … and then you actually do?

  SCORE: One point for each ‘yes’ answer.

  3–5 You are a shocking, shocking person! You will love this book.

  1–2 You are quite shocking! You will love this book.

  0 What a shocking score!. You will love this book.

  Just Macbeth!

  By Andy Griffiths

  Illustrated by Terry Denton

  Is this the right book for you?

  Take the MACBETH TEST and find out.

  YES NO

  Do you love stories about witches, ghosts, time travel, angry gnomes and ruthless tyrants?

  Do you ever wish that you could be the boss of everyone and everything?

  Do you think people who are really bad at karaoke deserve to die?

  Do you like the idea of being able to impress people with your knowledge of one of Shakespeare’s most famous plays?

  Do you giggle when you hear or read the word ‘bosom’?

  SCORE: One point for each ‘yes’ answer.

  3–5 You are a ruthless tyrant. You are also very immature. You will love this book.

  1–2 You are either a ruthless tyrant or simply very immature. You will love this book

  0 You are an immature, ruthless tyrant and you don’t even know it! You will love this book.

  DIGITAL ANDY

  It’s an encyclopedia … all about Andy!

  The Andypedia is a complete guide to every book, every story and every character in the world of Andy Griffiths’ books. It’s also a complete guide to everything you ever wanted to know about Andy himself—including the answers to questions people are always asking him, like ‘How old were you when you started writing?’ and ‘How many books have you actually written?’ and ‘Where do you get your ideas from?’ and ‘Did all that stuff really happen to you?’ and ‘Was Danny Pickett really your best friend?’ and ‘Were you really in love with Lisa Mackney?’ and ‘Did your bum really grow arms and legs and run away?’

  Available exclusively in digital from all good ebook retailers.

  First published 2012 in Pan by Pan Macmillan Australia Pty Ltd

  1 Market Street, Sydney 2000

  Text copyright © Backyard Stories Pty Ltd 2012

  Illustrations copyright © Terry Denton 2012

  The moral rights of the creators have been asserted.

  All rights reserved. This publication (or any part of it) may not be reproduced or transmitted, copied, stored, distributed or otherwise made available by any person or entity (including Google, Amazon or similar organisations), in any form (electronic, digital, optical, mechanical) or by any means (photocopying, recording, scanning or otherwise) without prior written permission from the publisher.

  This ebook may not include illustrations and/or photographs that may have been in the print edition.

  National Library of Australia

  Cataloguing-in-Publication data:

  Griffiths, Andy, 1961–

  Just doomed! / Andy Griffiths ; illustrator, Terry Denton.

  For primary school age.

  Children’s stories, Australian. Humorous stories, Australian.

  Denton, Terry, 1950–.

  A823.3

  Adobe eReader format: 9781743345610

  EPub format: 9781743345627 />
  Online format: 9781743345603

  The characters and events in this book are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  Typeset by Liz Seymour, Seymour Designs

  Cover design by Terry Denton/Seymour Designs

  Macmillan Digital Australia: www.macmillandigital.com.au

  Visit www.panmacmillan.com.au to read more about all our books and to buy both print and ebooks online. You will also find features, author interviews and news of any author events.

 

 

 


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