Rachel smiled and opened her mouth like she wanted to say something, but she stopped. There was a certain earnest glint in her eyes. She looked much more like herself than she had the other day.
“What?” he urged.
She hesitated, but said, “Yeah, I smelled it earlier, too. Smells nice, doesn’t it.”
He nodded, knowing he should leave her to her work and he should go ask Logan how he could help before the kids arrived.
“I’d better go see what I can do to help out there. Unless there’s anything I can do to help?”
“I’ve got it under control,” she said.
He nodded. “Yes, you do. I’ll talk to you later. Or if I don’t see you, have a merry Christmas.” The words were heavy on his tongue. He almost couldn’t get them out.
“You, too.” The light that had been in her eyes when she first saw him dimmed a bit.
As he turned to go, she said. “Eli, I almost forgot. I brought you some cookies.”
She held out a white box tied up with a red ribbon.
“Chocolate peppermint?”
“You bet. Among others.”
“I have something for you too,” he said. “Maybe I should’ve brought it up, but it’s under the tree at home.”
He hadn’t because it was something he’d picked up when things between them seemed to be headed in the right direction, but he’d wrapped it up and put it under his tree anyway, the lone gift.
Sitting there by itself, it had become symbolic of the sad turn their relationship had taken. But when Eli was in the right frame of mind, it could also represent hope. Shit. That was a load of BS. He’d never been known to be a Pollyanna. But in this moment, he was glad he hadn’t thrown it out.
“You know, I never got to see your Christmas tree. Could I stop by after the party? It only goes until three, right?”
His heart swelled in his chest and then thudded. He knew he shouldn’t read anything into it, but: “Sure. You know where I live.”
*
After Rachel had packed up and cleaned the kitchen, she wished Logan a merry Christmas and drove her rented van down the gravel drive to Eli’s bungalow.
Her hands were clammy on the steering wheel and she consciously drew in a deep breath, in an effort to quell her nerves. At least she hadn’t completely ruined things between them. Maybe after enough time had passed, they could even be friends.
And what about when he finds someone new? Because he will. He’s a great guy and any woman would be lucky to have his love. How friendly will you feel then?
Her mind skipped back to their conversation in the park. He’d said he loved her. It had gotten lost in the emotion of everything else. Crowded out. Overlooked.
I won’t try to pursue this…us…if there is no us in your heart. I love you. So, there will always be an us for me, but I’m not going to push you if it’s not what you want.
What did she want? She’d asked herself that question repeatedly.
Rachel swallowed the lump in her throat.
She was parking the van in front of his house and her heart and her mind were at such terrible odds with each other, she had to do her stress breathing exercises before she could shut them both down and get out of the car.
She rang the bell and he answered the door, with a hearty, “Hello. Come in.”
He helped her out of her coat and handed her a glass of sparkling wine and pointed out some cheeses he’d set out. Her stomach rumbled at the sight of them.
“Thank you. This is so nice,” she said. “I didn’t mean for you to go to any trouble. I just wanted to see the tree, which is lovely. Did you do that all by yourself?”
“Santa’s elves were all booked up so I had to fend for myself. Not bad, huh? Though, I did have some help picking out the decorations.”
She smiled at him and then gazed at the tall tree, admiring its gold and white decorations and the angel perched high on top.
The day they’d gotten the tree was the day that things had gotten weird. Well, weird for her, obviously. Not for him. Or at least if it had been weird from him, he hadn’t let on that anything was wrong.
What was wrong with her?
There had been a time when she’d mourned the loss of their relationship. Now that they had a real chance she couldn’t get away fast enough. But she wasn’t happy being away from him either. Had she become one of those poor souls who was only content when she was unhappy, when drama was swirling around giving her the false notion that things were happening in her life?
What a pathetic existence that would be.
“This is for you.”
Eli was holding out a small package that was beautifully wrapped in gold Christmas paper that complemented the decorations on the tree.
When she started to juggle her wine to take the package, he said, “Sit down. I’ll bring it to you.”
It popped into her mind to say she had to go; she couldn’t stay because Katie was waiting for her at Betty’s again. But she swallowed the words. She was working on finding balance, but she needed to allow herself some time, too. Time for a glass of holiday cheer with a person who still meant the world to her.
Eli turned on some classical Christmas music and the carol, What Child is This?, played through built-in speakers.
She sat down on the edge of the cordovan leather couch, and set her wine on the coffee table. When he handed her the present, again the smell of lavender surrounded her.
“I smell lavender again,” she said.
He smiled. “Open the package.”
She pointed to the gift and he nodded. Her heart sank a little because she thought it might have been Felicity’s handiwork, but, well, maybe Felicity was simply a piece of romantic folklore. Maybe the woman who had handed her the line of poetry simply resembled Felicity.
She took her time opening the package, wanting to prolong it as much as possible because once the gift was unwrapped and her glass was empty, she’d have to leave, and she was realizing, she really didn’t want to spend Christmas without him.
She realized she didn’t even know what his plans were. Surely he wasn’t spending Christmas alone. Logan had asked for her help with getting Avery to the park on Christmas Day for some sort of surprise. She wasn’t sure exactly what it was, but she had an inkling it was of the romantic nature. It wouldn’t be romantic if Eli third-wheeled it with them.
“What are you doing for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day?”
He smiled, but she could see the shadow behind the expression. “Oh, you know, this and that. Open your present.”
This and that?
What did that mean?
She lifted the lid on the box and gasped when she saw what lay beneath the neat folds of tissue paper—a hand-painted sign that said in scrolling black calligraphy that stood out against distressed ivory paint, ’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Sprigs of fragrant lavender were attached to a piece of wire that would be used to hang up the sign.
The box top fell from her hand and she knew her mouth was open, but she couldn’t form words. She hadn’t told him about the note delivered by Felicity. In fact, she hadn’t even discussed the legend of the Harwood House lavender with him. It just seemed too silly, a romantic fancy that she could laugh about with her girlfriends and chat about over tea with Becky Harwood, but this—This—
“This…” The word bubbled out before she could stop it.
Eli dropped down beside her on the couch. “Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
He reached out to take the sign from her, but she held on to it. Now, she felt her cheeks flushing what was surely a shade of crimson that matched the bow on the box of cookies she’d given him, but—
“Wait a minute.” Rachel narrowed her eyes at him. “Wait just a minute.”
He was looking at her like she was crazy. She felt crazy, but suspicion was starting to set in.
She set the sign on the coffee tabl
e, got up and grabbed her purse, and pulled out the note that Felicity had handed her on the first night of Christmas on the Square.
“What do you know about this?”
She handed him the note, smiling like she had just solved a riddle. He examined the envelope with her name written in a scrolling script not so dissimilar to the one on the sign. Brows knit, he squinted at her and shrugged.
“Open it,” she urged and dropped down next to him on the sofa.
He did. His eyes widened when he saw what was written on the inside:
’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
“Wow. Who gave you this?”
“Um…that’s what I’d like to know. I mean a woman called me by name and handed it to me the first night of Christmas on the Square. Did you set that up?”
Again, she tilted her head and smiled at him like she’d solved a puzzle he’d given her.
“It’s very romantic, if you did.”
He looked up from the note and raised his brows. “If you think it’s romantic, I wish I had. I’ve never been one for grand gestures, but if that’s what it takes to win you back, I can learn. I found the sign at Lavender Dreams. It was the only one they had. They had to go search for a price because it wasn’t marked. I thought that there’s so many ways to interpret that phrase—losing someone or taking the chance of having your heart broken to finally know love.”
If that what it takes to win you back… She felt love pierce her heart as if she’d been hit by an arrow. Not a poisonous dart this time, but an arrow that had hit the bull’s-eye. In an instant, she knew. She just knew that this was Felicity’s handiwork.
In that instant, she knew that she didn’t want to spend another moment without him.
*
The story was crazy, Eli thought as Rachel relayed the tale of the blonde woman dressed in 1920s garb who appeared in her dream and then appeared at her shop and gave her the note. It got even crazier when she told him how Becky Harwood had shown her a photo of Felicity that looked exactly like the woman who had given her the note—and then he had picked out the exact same sentiment as a Christmas gift.
Rachel sipped her drink and then bit her bottom lip, looking contemplative as she gazed at him. “I never asked you how you felt about children. I mean, do you ever see yourself being a father?”
“I’ve always wanted a family of my own. But the right woman was never available.”
He figured since she brought it up, he might as well lay it all out on the line.
“What if that woman was available? Would you marry her?”
“I’d marry her tomorrow. The only reason I’d wait that long is because I’d want to make sure she was okay with me adopting her child and I’d need to propose properly.”
“Really? You’d do that?”
He leaned in and kissed her slow and sweet.
“I have it on good authority you would make her the happiest woman in the world.”
*
On Christmas Eve, Donna got to Rachel’s apartment an hour before Eli arrived. Rachel wanted to make sure her mother was going to behave herself. To Rachel’s utter surprise, Donna acted like the Prince Harry was coming to dinner. She might have thought something was up, but she didn’t want to jinx her mother’s good mood. As long as she wasn’t rude to Eli, everything would be fine.
Her mother was going to have to accept the fact that Rachel was seeing Eli again, and if yesterday’s turn of events were any indication, this relationship was about to get as serious as it could be. Tonight was only the beginning.
Rachel had made dinner and spent most of the morning preparing a standing rib roast with garlic and herb mashed potatoes, braised fennel, and asparagus. Katie had happily played with cookie dough at the kitchen table, rolling it out, cutting out shapes, and then wadding it up and rolling it out again. Apparently, her little girl had been bitten by the cookie bug, just like her mother.
“Mama, look!” Katie held up a rather mangled star. “This one is for Mr. Lane. I made it special for him. Now, I’m going to go color him a picture for his Christmas present so he has something from me.”
“Oh, good,” Donna said once Katie was out of earshot. “I was afraid she was going to want to bake that and serve it to him.”
“Well, look at you, being all hospitable, looking out for Eli,” Rachel said as she checked the temperature on the roast.
Donna grimaced. “That wad of cookie dough has been out of the refrigerator for hours. And I suspect it’s been on the floor. Why don’t you simply give the child play dough?”
“Because play dough isn’t cookie dough. I’m training her for the family business.”
“That’s a good thing, since you’re going to try and do both the winery restaurant and maintain the cookie shop.” Donna seemed strangely upbeat about Eli. It made Rachel suspicious.
Yesterday, after they’d made love in Eli’s bed, they’d revisited her opening the restaurant. They’d decided that they could start small, offering light bites on weekends and see how it grew. They could even hire a chef, if Rachel felt like it was too much. Suddenly, everything felt like it was falling into place. There was nothing like losing the love of your life for a second time to help the heart and head come to a meeting of the minds.
Rachel had just enough time to get Katie ready and then shower and slip into her own Christmas dress before Eli was knocking on the door, loaded down with presents and flowers and bottles of good wine.
Rachel stood on tippy toes and kissed him before he could get in the door.
“Well, hello,” he said. “That’s a nice greeting.”
Rachel pointed at the bunch of mistletoe she’d hung above the door.
Eli leaned in and kissed her again. “I could stay right here and have the best Christmas ever.”
“Eli? Is that you?” Donna called from the living room.
“It is, Mom. I’m helping him bring in some packages.”
“Hi, Donna,” Eli called.
Donna? It was the first time she’d heard Eli call her mother by her first name. And even weirder was that her mother wasn’t correcting him. Rachel felt as though she was living in an alternate universe. Then again, he was a thirty-two-year-old man now. He wasn’t that same wayward kid from the Barrels, but part of her was still waiting for the other shoe to drop with her mother. Probably because it was Christmas Eve and she really wanted everything to go well.
She took the bag of wine and leaned in for one more kiss.
She had just stepped back when Katie came bounding into the foyer, bouncing up and down in her frilly sock feet. “Mr. Lane! Mr. Lane, see my new Christmas dress? Mama bought it for me special for tonight.”
“You look beautiful, Katie,” he said. “So does your mama. But this is for you.”
He handed Katie a present wrapped in snowman wrapping paper.
“For me?” Katie was jumping up and down.
“It is,” he said. “If it’s okay with your mom, why don’t you call me Eli?”
Rachel nodded.
The little girl plopped right down and started tearing open the package, revealing a plush teddy bear. She squealed in delight and hugged the bear.
“What do you say?” Rachel prompted.
“Thank you, Eli!” She ran off into the other room.
“You know how to make a three-year-old girl very happy. Actually, you know how to make a grown woman very happy.”
“Oh, yeah?” he said, dusting her lips with one more kiss. “Just wait. You haven’t seen anything yet.”
“Mmm, sounds promising, but right now, I need to go check on dinner.”
“And I’m going to put these gifts under the tree and say hello to your mother. There’s a bottle of champagne for after dinner. Will you put it in the refrigerator, please?”
After Rachel deposited the bottle, she walked over to the kitchen door and tried to tune in to the conversation in the living room. She heard low murmuring, but nothing th
at sounded like it needed her urgent intervention. Maybe her mother really was going to behave herself.
Now, that would be a Christmas miracle.
Dinner went off without a hitch and they moved into the living room to enjoy the bottle of champagne—and a chocolate mousse that Rachel had prepared—by the light of the Christmas tree.
Eli sat next to Rachel on the couch and Donna helped Katie play Santa, reading the names on the packages that Eli had brought and letting her distribute them. They were mostly for Katie, which Rachel thought was a nice gesture.
They were saving the rest of the gifts for Christmas morning. After she had opened the last of her Christmas Eve packages, Donna surprised Rachel by scooping Katie up and offering to read her the book The Night Before Christmas.
That was the thing about her mother that Rachel had come to understand. It wasn’t about quantity of time; it was about the quality of the time. In that regard, Rachel realized she wouldn’t mind being a little more like her mother.
After they were alone, the Christmas Song was playing softly in the background. Eli stood up and refilled their champagne glasses. But he didn’t sit down. Instead, he set his glass down on the coffee table and turned back to the tree. “Oh, look I brought one more gift that needs to be opened tonight.” Rachel was just about to suggest that Katie open the package in the morning. He’d already given her so much, but Eli said, “This one is for you.”
She sat up straight. “For me? Eli, you shouldn’t have done that. We gave each other our presents yesterday. And all I gave you was a box of cookies.”
“Not that the box of cookies wasn’t fabulous in itself and you made the dinner tonight, but what you don’t know is, you’re about to give me something so important money can’t buy it. Or at least I hope you will give this gift to me.”
She was still trying to figure out what he was talking about when, by the light of the Christmas tree, he kneeled and presented her with a small velvet box. “Rachel, would you make me the happiest man on earth and marry me? If you say yes, that will be the best Christmas present I’ve ever received.”
Rachel’s hands flew to her mouth as she looked at the diamond sparkling even in the muted light.
A Texas Christmas Homecoming Page 14
