I reasoned with myself on both sides of the fence as I dug, even talking out loud and nodding at times. I was glad there weren’t any other reapers around to see my breakdown, and if Soren saw, I didn’t care.
When the shovel moved the last bit of dirt revealing the body beneath it, my heart sank. It was a young girl of about seventeen or eighteen. Her hair was shiny black, and cut in a cute bob with straight bangs; her dress was pale blue with a white collar that reminded me of a school uniform. Her shoes were delicate, white Mary Jane’s, and looked like they pinched. Her face was perfect though: someone had really taken their time on her eyes and pink lips. She looked like an oversized children’s doll.
I wondered what had happened to her. I know, of course, kids die every day; healthy people die every day. The world has a million ways to kill us, but seeing one that died in the middle of growing up… just hurt.
I picked up my flashlight and clicked it on, hoping as I did every time, that she would just disappear—hoping her soul was settled.
She blinked at the blinding light and started crying, repeating “I did it,” over and over.
I knelt down beside her. “What, honey, what did you do?”
“I died,” she sighed, and I realized she wasn’t upset, she was relieved.
I took her hand and smiled gently; I couldn’t imagine a life so bad that you would be relieved to kill yourself.
“I have to take you into the city to get assigned, OK? You died young, so you’ll have to stay between worlds a while and work off your time that you would have spent alive,” I explained.
“Work? Are you freaking kidding me?” She rolled her eyes and stood up.
“I know,” I shrugged. I was still in disbelief at her happiness over being dead.
She looked down at herself and wrinkled her nose. “Can I at least get some different clothes? I don’t want to be in this crap he put me in.” She made a face when she said “he."
“Sure, we can stop at a little place in town. Who put you in those clothes?” I asked.
“My ‘uncle’—a family friend who took me in when my parents went to jail for drugs. He was a very wealthy dealer, who had looked at me a little too hard since I was about six. My parents were so grateful he brought me in to live in his mansion and offered to pay a tutor so that I didn’t have to go through the bullying about everything at school. But he really just kept me as his personal living doll, and threatened to expose more on my parents if I didn’t do the things he wanted.” She made an obscene gesture with her hand towards her mouth.
I grimaced. “So you killed yourself?”
“I couldn’t get outside of that damn house with all his guards and cameras, and I could only make supervised phone calls, but there were always drugs around.” She smiled as if it had been the perfect plan.
My problems suddenly seemed far away. I put out my hand. “I’m Helena, Hel, for short.”
She took my hand with her own, showing perfectly manicured pink nails. “I’m Grace.”
Grace looked around in amazement as I walked her into the city. The gray buildings that haunted me and made me miss my home were a whole new world of freedom to her.
We stopped in the boutique to get some clothes for Grace. The blonde vampire with the amber eyes was still the one running the shop. His outfit had changed, so I assumed it was the equivalent of a different day.
“Ah, nice to see you back, Helena. And you’ve brought a friend.” He smiled, and flashed just a hint of fang. He must practice a lot.
“This is Grace,” I introduced. “And I’m sorry, I didn’t get your name last time.”
“Andreas,” he nodded gracefully.
Grace’s mouth was open. I had forgotten to tell her about vampires.
I elbowed her, and she recovered quickly, though was obviously still enamored.
“What are you looking for, dear?” He eyed her with one hand on his hip. “Something in the way of what you have on, or…?”
Grace held up her hand to stop him. “Nothing like what I have on.”
Andreas grinned, and they proceeded to bound around the store grabbing this and that, laughing and giggling like two teenagers would do.
I stood watching, letting Grace have her fun. Who knew how long, if ever, it had been since she had gotten to choose her own clothes, or make a friend.
Eventually, she settled on a plain black crop top, and a pair of high waisted red bell bottoms, with a pair of black boots that laced up the front. The outfit showed off her slim figure, and made her already long legs seem longer. She looked like a model. It was too attention-getting for me, but I hadn’t been imprisoned for years and forced to wear doll clothes.
Andreas whistled and clapped when Grace walked through the store.
“Thank you so much for helping me.” Grace said to the vampire, who was eyeing himself in a compact mirror. So much for that myth.
“Of course, you are fantastic. Where are you off to now?” He flipped the shiny gold compact shut and looked up at us with a brilliant smile, fangs gleaming.
“She has to get assigned,” I said.
“OH!” Andreas exclaimed. “I could use help here, if you want to ask.”
“Seriously?” Grace was practically ready to jump up and down.
“Seriously. I could even be your sponsor, if you like,” he added.
Grace and I said, “What?” at the same time.
Andreas smiled and nodded. “Anyone who dies under eighteen years old must have a sponsor who will watch out for them: make sure they continue to mature, help them decide about the future, etc. If they are very young, they have to live with you, but Grace can decide for herself.”
“I don’t mind sponsoring you, Grace. And you’re welcome to live with me,” I told her.
She hugged me, and then looked at Andreas, “Is it still OK if I work here?”
“Of course, we’re going to be fast friends.” He winked at her like another girlfriend would.
We said our goodbyes to the vampire and walked on towards the town center. The line wasn’t too long right now, which was great, since I needed to get back to work. I assumed if I was going to sponsor Grace, that I needed to be with her.
Grace didn’t flinch when she was told how much time she had left to work off. She had slightly fewer hours than I had, which surprised me. Apparently, Grace had shortened an already short life contract.
It was agreed she would work at Andreas’s boutique, and live with me.
When we left, we stopped by another couple of stores to let Grace pick up some makeup and hair stuff that she swore was absolutely essential. We also made arrangements to have another small bed delivered to my place for her.
I was still feeling strange about the whole sleeping/ not sleeping thing here. I still wanted sleep, but never got sleepy. So, I figured having a bed for Grace was best, just in case.
As we walked back towards the fields, I could tell Grace was feeling uncomfortable.
“You really don’t mind working off your time by digging up dead people?” she asked.
“I spent my time alive burying them,” I laughed.
“Really?” Grace seemed shocked.
“Really, it doesn’t make me uncomfortable. There’s a need for it, on both sides, apparently, and it helps people.”
Grace paused in thought. “Well, I’m glad you’re the one who woke me up.”
“Me too,” I smiled.
Soren was out in front of the houses when we walked up. He shook his head when he saw Grace with me. His large arms rested on his slender waist, causing him to look like an extra large, blonde, bearded, and unhappy version of Superman.
Grace looked at the big man, and then turned over her shoulder to whisper to me, “Holy cow, he’s huge! And really hot!”
A grin I couldn’t control crept across my face, so I ducked my head and let us into the house. I had noticed that Soren was attractive, but I’d been a bit too repelled by his shitty attitude to think much about him.
“Wander around and make yourself at home,” I told Grace. “I had better step outside and talk to Soren.”
Grace agreed, opening cabinets and walking around. I went outside, where Soren was waiting for me.
Now that I had really noticed how attractive he was, maybe I wouldn’t feel so intimidated by him—or, maybe it would be worse.
“You brought home another stray, I see.” He shook his head. “You have work to do you know.”
“I sponsored her,” I said coolly.
“Hell, Helena. They have places and programs for kids like that. You’ll never get your time worked off watching her.” He rubbed the back of his neck like it ached.
“It’s my time to waste if I want. Besides, she’s already assigned to Andreas’s boutique in town, so I can work while she does.”
“You’re crazy letting her work with a vamp. I know you don’t see it yet, but they are dangerous,” he said.
“You’re right, I don’t see it yet, and I believe in giving people, or vampires, the benefit of the doubt. When I dug her up, that girl was relieved that she had succeeded with suicide, because she was basically imprisoned as a dirty old man’s sex doll. She deserves more now.”
Soren sighed, rubbed the back of his neck again and turned to walk away.
Hours passed, days, weeks, maybe even a month; with no calendar or true nighttime, I couldn’t keep track anymore. The watch on my wrist only counted the hours I worked, so it wasn’t helpful.
Grace was my saving grace. My heart ached less for Raphael, I think in part because she liked hearing stories about him. My memories of him hurt beyond measure when I recalled them, but telling them out loud to Grace somehow seemed to help. She even made up stories with me about what he was doing now and how his life was going. She sometimes talked about the things she had endured in life; that was a lot harder to hear, but I figured if she had lived it, I could listen to it.
I dug while she worked, and sometimes took breaks to see Boude. He was a sweet escape from the routine I had created. The sex with him was fun: it eased the ache and left me restful, but it never lived up to my memory of Raphael. I often wondered if he had been that good, or if that was just how I wanted to remember him. I knew Raphael and I hadn’t known each other long enough for him to be so important to me. But I didn’t really have anyone else in the living world after Ray died, and it still felt like unfinished business.
Soren and I had become somewhat nice to each other, even making the occasional joke. I think a lot of it was for Billy. He was so kind-hearted, and it was obvious all he wanted was for everyone to get along.
One day, it was just the two of us out in the field. “How did you die?” I asked him.
His face grew serious and still. “Hunting accident.”
I nodded. I didn’t need to know more.
“Someone killed you, didn’t they?” he asked.
“Basically.” I shrugged, recalling the events that had led to my death.
It was Soren’s turn to nod. There was no use for “I’m sorrys” or sharing details. It was what it was, we both left people behind that we would miss for ages, and we both ended up in the same place.
We resumed our digging, and after a time I heard Soren swear, “Ah, hell.”
I knew by now that he had dug up someone that hadn’t disappeared, someone that would need to be walked into the city to be assigned. Soren hated leaving the fields.
I heard a woman crying, and when I looked over, a tall blonde was clinging to Soren and sobbing onto his shoulder. It was sad of course, but after so many bodies, you become a bit numb; after all, we had all been in the same situation. I resisted the urge to laugh, but couldn’t help the smirk that crossed my face.
He gently put a hand on the woman’s back and made an awkward “there there” gesture. I was impressed as I heard Soren trying to soothe the poor woman. The moment was all too brief, though, as he walked her over to me and said, “This nice woman is Helena, she will take you into town and get you settled.”
I glared at him as I took the woman’s hand. Soren had to unlatch her from himself as I tried to lead her away. Once she was beside me, I tossed my shovel at him, none too gently.
“I’m going to stop by the boutique and check on Grace on my way back,” I said to Soren.
He smiled and waved me off.
One thing I hadn’t been able to figure out was the fact that, even in death, I couldn’t understand other languages. Shouldn’t that be some kind of perk that comes with living in the after world? The poor lady walked beside me going on and on in another tongue, looking at me for a glint of understanding, and all I could do was nod and pat her hand. It was damn frustrating.
I got her to the assignment line in record time, and luckily it was short. She seemed to understand she needed to stay there, and as I walked away, I heard another person speaking her language. I let out a sigh and wandered a few streets over to the shops and cafes.
The sky was the same dull gray as always, and the air held no chill or warmth. I was used to it now, but I still would have given anything to feel the wind.
I picked up two vanilla coffees at the coffee shop, and then wandered into the boutique.
A woman about my age was at the counter, with platinum blonde hair and big breasts. I hadn’t seen her in here before. She looked friendly but a little distracted, doodling on a sheet of paper.
“Hi, is Grace around?” I smiled at the blonde.
“She’s in the back,” the blonde offered, and stayed perched on her stool.
I nodded and smiled, staring back at her to see if she’d get the hint.
“Oh, would you like me to get her for you?” she asked.
“That would be great.”
She trotted off to the back, and in a moment, Grace came out front. Grace smiled when she saw me, and happily took the coffee I was holding out to her.
“Who’s the new girl?” I asked.
“Barbie,” Grace laughed, “Not even kidding.”
I laughed, too. “Where is Andreas?”
I had been into the store more than a few times at this point, and had never not seen him here.
“He’s with Boude, above ground,” she said as she straightened up the front counter.
I’m sure I looked puzzled for a moment before it hit me. “Oh, vampire things.”
Boude never really talked about things like that when we were together. I didn’t know how it all worked. I knew he needed living blood to survive, and I knew that meant going to the “above ground” world, but I hadn’t truly understood it. Boude had previously mentioned he and Andreas were friends. I thought it was cool that my two vampires friends were also friends with each other.
“How often does Andreas go?” I asked.
“Whenever he gets hungry or bored, I guess. Sometimes it's daily, sometimes it’s every few days,” said Grace. “He makes it look pretty good, and there’s a part of me that would love to go back and tear out that bastard’s throat.”
I certainly understood the appeal of wanting to go back. “Does Andreas kill people?” I asked.
“I’ve asked him; he said he has, but doesn’t always. He can feed without killing, and without the person remembering, so that’s what he usually does. Seems like a pretty sweet deal to me.” Grace smiled.
I could see the wheels turning in her mind. She wanted to be changed. “You wouldn’t want to sacrifice your soul, would you?” As appealing as vampirism was, I just felt like my soul was too important to cast aside.
“What’s it done for me lately? It’s never protected me, fed me, or kept me warm when I was forced to sleep on the cold tile for disobeying,” she shrugged.
I had a bad feeling she was talking herself into this instead of out of it.
“Yeah, but if you’re a vampire, you have to live where the rest of them live,” I shuddered. “That place is creepy.”
“I’ve been over with Andreas to his place. No one bothered me, since I was a friend o
f his, and inside, his place is really beautiful.”
“Are you sleeping with Andreas?” The words were out of my mouth before I had a chance to stop them or think them through.
Grace chuckled. “No, none of us sleep,” she said.
“Grace…” I said, hoping she’d volunteer more.
“Does Andreas strike you as the type of vampire who would like sex with women?” Grace patted my hand.
I laughed at my silliness, hugged her, and headed back to the field, a little relieved, but still uneasy.
Soren was still digging when I got back. I retrieved my shovel from where he had dropped it after I tossed it to him. I began digging, but felt more than a little distracted.
I caught Soren watching me out of the corner of his eye. I turned to look at him in a, “Yes, can I help you?” kind of way.
He furrowed his brow and stiffened. “You OK?” he asked. “You seem like something’s bothering you since you got back.”
I hesitated to tell Soren, knowing his already strong distaste for vampires. But, if we were going to be friends he would just have to accept that I was friends with some of them.
I stood up straight and looked at him, thought about what I wanted to say, and bit my lip. I put my shovel against the dead dirt and shoved it in with my foot, looking down.
“I’m afraid Grace will let them turn her,” I said, with a rather large lump in my throat.
I could have sworn I felt heat coming off of Soren like a furnace—anger, so much anger.
He was gripping the handle of his shovel so hard I expected it to snap. I had to give him credit, though, his face was damn near expressionless.
“I don’t need an ‘I told you so.’” I rolled my eyes and tried to keep any surprise tears pushed back.
His face softened, looking at me. “Hel, if I had come over at her age, in her circumstances, I probably would have crossed without a second thought.”
The Girl Who Digs Graves Page 9
