For one thing, it was too soon. She’d only just returned from the dead. Of course Luke was happy to see her. He wanted to help her. Wanted to erase problems from her path and smooth over any awkwardness her reappearance caused. But it was normal for him to react like that. Luke was a protector.
She’d witnessed his skills at protecting clients in the past. He’d worked to protect her father’s law firm. Now, he was her friend, her partner in the law firm, and that added another worry. What if all Luke’s efforts to ease her transition back into the firm were based on professional courtesy? What if she’d misread the signals? Shared pizza and laughter didn’t make them mates for life. It just made their situation easier to handle.
What if...what if Luke was acting as the peacemaker to make things go smoother at the firm? Win her to his side so his partnership would be safe? What if she found working close to Joel and Laurel intolerable and changed her mind? Would Luke be so understanding then?
Going back to the firm was the last thing she wanted to do. All the way home, through long sleepless hours on the flight, she’d imagined telling her father she quit and walking away. His death robbed her of that satisfaction. She’d looked forward to watching his face twist in distaste as she told him she was leaving Joel and the firm behind.
After building up her courage to follow through with her new goals, would she regret staying with the firm?
What if she had forgotten all she’d known about practicing law? After that whack on her head, what if her brain didn’t function correctly when she went to court? What if Joel opposed her idea of branching out to family law, wasn’t as agreeable as Luke assured her?
Worries. Problems. Tension built inside her as they got closer to the law office. What if Laurel pitched a scene and reporters invaded her workspace?
She wouldn’t have to wait long to find out.
Luke pulled in his parking space beside the building containing the law offices and turned off the engine. “Ready to get back to work?”
As soon as Luke ushered her in the front door, she smelled coffee. Turning towards her office, she caught sight of movement through the half-opened door of her father’s large office. Joel and Laurel were early.
“Why don’t you go get reacquainted with your files and let me handle this?” Luke urged her toward a door to the right.
Kate’s feet, in the platform sandals Luke had bought her, stuck to the floor. The inclination to do as he suggested, urged her to move forward. Go into her own space and close the door on the unpleasantness occurring in the senior partner’s office. But that was the old Kate’s reaction. And she wasn’t that woman anymore. Time to take charge of her life. Start over. “I can do this on my own, thanks.”
“I know you can, but there are legal issues to work out about your return.” Luke opened the door to her office and gave her a nudge. His warm scent wrapped around her easing some of the tension. “Some things have to be settled before we can function as a three partner firm.”
In other words, he had to put the fear of God in Joel before he rooted Kate out for good. Luke didn’t intend to allow that to happen. If Joel wanted to play rough, Luke would force him to admit his mistakes. He had to take a stand. For Kate’s sake and the firm’s.
“Okay,” Kate released the breath she’d been holding as she turned to look around the small space. She needed a distraction to tear her attention away from Luke’s presence. Since the moment she entered his kitchen this morning, and found him sitting at the table drinking coffee, her heart hadn’t stopped fluttering. Sight of him in a pristine white dress shirt, with the collar unbuttoned, added to her attraction to him.
“I’ll start going through the files. I need to get organized if I’m going to give up the business cases.” She approached three file cabinets along the far wall, careful to keep her eyes off Luke and quell the overwhelming urge to throw herself in his arms and have a good cry.
Why was this so hard? Was it because the instant she stepped in this building, she’d been acutely aware of the fact that she would never see her father again? What cruel act of fate robbed her of the spending the last months of her father’s life with him?
Turn it the other way around, and she wondered how he’d reacted to news that she’d died in the tsunami. But she told herself it was a senseless waste of energy. Joel had returned alive. That would have eased her father’s grief.
“Maybe you should keep a few cases, just to get your foot back in the door, until you get new clients.”
Kate studied him for long minutes. In a pale gray business suit that emphasized the darkness of his hair, he looked the image of a success. Being close to him tempted her to ignore the goals she’d set while stranded on the island. And that wasn’t a good idea.
“You’re right. It could take a while for word to get out that we’re now taking family law cases. I’ll check through the files.” Kate tore her gaze from the dark look in his eyes and turned to open a file cabinet.
The sound of the door closing behind him echoed in her head loud as a tomb slamming shut. Chills chased down the back of her neck and she struggled for a calm breath. Her insides twisted and churned as if her body was still in the giant wave that washed her overboard.
She turned and stared at the closed door. Luke’s departure filled her with a sense of loss as bad as if she’d lost her last friend. She knew that wasn’t the case. Luke wanted to chance to ease Joel into the new ideas they’d formed over the weekend. She agreed. They gained nothing by creating new confrontations. But acknowledging the sense of loss at his departure meant she also recognized the biggest threat to her getting back control of her life.
Depending on Luke would be so easy, so sensible, and so unthinkable if she wanted to pursue her new goal. Agreeing to stay with the firm didn’t mean she’d given up on gaining her independence. She needed to start now. Practice letting go ties in the environment she knew.
Tearing her glance from the dark wood paneled door, she glanced around the office she had cherished from her first day with the firm. Memories of that day brought back all the dreams she’d had for building a relationship with her only living parent.
Having this small space assigned to her by her father became a symbol to her, a ray of hope that she was gaining his approval. If she filled this space in her father’s firm, wouldn’t it stand to reason that he would eventually allow her a tiny space in his heart?
She’d been so hopeful and scared the day of her first interview. Her father’s cold distant expression had almost melted her resolve. Almost brought back her mother’s caution when his name was mentioned.
But her mother had died. Her father was her only living parent, even if he deserted her when she was an infant. She’d buried her doubts, and struggled to build a connection with the man her mother had begged her to avoid.
Sentiment had not warmed her father’s heart, but maybe duty had, because he bent enough to offer her a job. But her dreams ended almost before they’d begun. Her father’s aloof manner kept her at arms length. Her long hours at work, spent trying to gain his respect, seemed useless.
Kate inhaled a shuddering breath and glanced at a room unchanged since the day she started work at the firm. Kate made note of the impersonal appearance of the space. Back then, she’d been afraid to mark the space as hers, afraid of tempting fate. One little chink in her professional behavior, and she worried her father would send her packing.
Then Joel arrived and everything had changed.
Joel.
The man she promised to love and cherish. The man she had called her husband.
Kate stared unseeingly at the files in the opened drawer in front of her and frowned. Joel had done so little to search for her. He’d been quick to have her existence removed from the rescuers’ lists by listing her as dead. What else had he done to erase her existence?
Thrown away her clothes.
Married another woman.
She couldn’t get her life back until she confronted Joel.
Appearing at the church had been necessary to alert him that she was alive. She hadn’t known he’d filed for a divorce. But now it was clear, she needed to assert her intent to make her own choices.
If she left the hard things up to Luke, Joel would win. Just as he’d won with her attempts to forge a relationship with her father because she hadn’t opposed him enough.
Joel wasn’t a bad person. He was out-going and charming, but he wanted to be first.
She allowed him to defeat her once…okay, more than once. Counting time with her father and marrying him…and then him leaving her for dead…Joel had defeated her three times. She couldn’t let him win again.
Slamming the file drawer shut, Kate walked to the door, her steps shaky in the platform sandals. Hand on the doorknob, she froze. Luke had said he would take care of things. She trusted him.
Funny, she had never questioned Luke’s actions, even after suffering betrayals from both her father and Joel. There was no doubt in her mind that he would try to make things easier for her.
But she’d been taught by a mother who guarded her emotions. Never let people see you were hurting. Put on a happy face. If things look good, everyone will assume things are good.
Her childhood had all been an act. As long as she could remember, her mother kept her anguish hidden from the world.
Only Kate knew things were different behind closed doors. She learned to make the best of things. And that’s what she’d been doing with her tentative relationship with her father, accepting the attention her success in the firm brought from him.
Then Joel appeared.
He had swooped in, grabbed her father’s attention at that first meeting, when supposedly, he’d come by to congratulate Luke on his promotion. Now, Kate realized his visit hadn’t been innocent.
Joel had arrived at the office, instead of seeking Luke on his personal time. Despite his friendly manner, Joel was the spoiled kid on the playground, always wanting toys the other kids played with.
Kate tightened her grip around the door handle. She allowed Joel’s melting looks and easy charm to win her over when they first met. Actually, he’d won her over a second time when he convinced her to wait to have children.
Pain slashed through her chest as she recalled the memories.
Four times.
Joel had defeated her four times, and denied her wish for a baby. She wouldn’t let him get away with it again. She left the office and walked down the hall.
***
When she opened the door to her father’s old office, two faces turned toward her in surprise. Actually, she should say three. Laurel had almost fallen out of her chair when Kate flew past her desk. The blonde sputtered noise. Kate supposed it was to object to her entering Joel’s domain. But she turned a quick look in Laurel’s direction and watched her mouth snap shut.
Joel’s response wasn’t as quick.
His mouth hung open as he stared at her. Then he sent a furious glare toward his partner. Luke stood at one corner of the wide desk, his height dwarfing Joel in the chair behind the desk.
Luke turned to Kate with a questioning glance, but his eyes held warmth, instead of the cold glare Joel turned on her.
She took a breath, savoring the encouragement in Luke’s expression and squared her shoulders. “Luke suggested I wait,” she turned a cool glance on Joel, “but I want to take charge of my life. I need to do this for myself.”
“Sweetheart—”
Kate’s head jerked up at his syrupy tone. Her nostrils flared as she stared at the man she had called husband as if he were something stuck to her shoe. “Sweetheart?” She glanced around the room, making a point of staring at the door. “I think you must have me confused with your new wife.” She watched color flood Joel’s face and twisted the screw. “Because the last person you called Sweetheart was standing beside you at the altar Saturday.”
Joel held up both hands in a defensive pose. “Kate, I’m sorry. This is an emotional time for all of us.” He sent a glare toward Luke. “Sit down, let’s discuss this rationally.”
Kate absorbed the tastefully decorated office, the dark mahogany desk, burgundy leather sofa and chairs in the sitting area, and her blood boiled.
Joel didn’t deserve her father’s office. He had taken over this space just as surely as he had taken her father’s attention from her struggling attempts to form a bond with the man who had deserted her as an infant.
The only way to put Joel in his place was to keep her cool.
Two years ago, she would have lashed out at him in anger. But in the past year she’d learned a measure of confidence and self-control she never imagined she had. Even now, with her temper rising, she kept her emotions hidden.
Giving Joel a long steady look, she nodded and settled in a chair in front of the desk. “Good idea. A rational discussion makes sense.” Her tone implied she didn’t think him capable.
Relief flashed across Joel’s face. His lips tightened. His eyes, turned the color of heated steel. His glare bored into Luke. “I think this is something my wife and I need to discuss in private.”
“Ex-wife don’t you mean?” Kate felt Luke glance in her direction. Knowing she had his support gave her the comfort she needed. For a moment there, pain from the past year threatened to smother her good intentions. Then she remembered this wasn’t about Joel. This wasn’t about his lack of love for her or his betrayal.
This was about getting her life back. Today was the day to start. Either she left the firm for good, and let Joel have his way, or she’d take a stand and help Luke save the firm her father had established.
Being an attorney defined who she was.
She needed to remember that. She chose to study law as a way to connect with her father. But her efforts had gone beyond the initial plan. She was good at what she did. Maintaining her position in this firm was the first step to gaining her identity as a person in her own right. Thanks to Luke’s encouragement she understood that.
Luke moved from the corner of the desk and turned toward the door.
Confidence freed Kate’s tongue. “I don’t think so.” She looked over her shoulder as he stopped at the door. Her glance tangled with the dark emotions in his eyes, then she turned back to Joel. “This issue affects the firm. Luke stays.”
“So you sided with him? It’s two against one.” Joel sneered. “I always knew this day would come.”
Kate frowned, unsure what he meant. Luke settled in the chair beside hers. His calm expression was all the encouragement she needed. “This is about establishing my position in the firm. Luke is a voting member just as we are.”
“Right!” Joel slapped the desk. “And, I suppose this has nothing to do with the fact that you shacked up with him all weekend?”
“Don’t judge me by your standards.” Luke half rose from his chair.
Kate blinked and stared at Joel as if she had never seen him before. His lips curled back from his teeth in a snarl. Light burned from his eyes. If she hadn’t been afraid someone would lock her up, she would swear she saw horns sticking out the sides of his head.
Her reaction to that thought made her shoulders shudder. Giggles escaped past her lips as his horned image flared in her head.
Luke fell back in his chair and sent her a look of concern. Joel’s lips pulled back, baring his gums like a snarling dog. Another rush of giggles escaped.
“That is so rich.” She gurgled past laughter. “You have me declared dead. Give away all my clothes. Take a new bride to live in our house. And then say something nasty about the friend who offers me a place to stay.” Kate shook her head. All signs of amusement left her face with each word she spoke. Reality returned. Her breath expelled in a resigned sigh. “So, this is the real Joel. It’s too bad I didn’t see through your act before I married you.”
“Now, wait a minute.” Joel pointed a finger at her. “I’m not the one who deserted our marriage for a year-and–a-half.”
Kate almost crumbled under the stabbing pain
. But memory of her long days of mourning for Joel’s loss flashed in her head and gave her strength. “No, Joel, you’re the one that deserted his wife after three days, without searching to see if she was alive.”
Joel sputtered. “I was traumatized.” His glance darted to Luke. “Tell her, Luke. Tell her how awful that time was.”
Luke stared at Joel silently as his fingers formed a steeple in front of his face.
Joel’s face flushed with deeper color.
Kate watched both men. She didn’t doubt Joel had suffered. He’d lived through a nightmare. Of course he had undergone some emotional reactions. But she had no doubt his trauma had resulted from his experience, not for her disappearance.
She understood his reaction to the tsunami. But she couldn’t understand how any husband could leave the scene of a disaster without searching for his wife. That one question haunted her
“Luke doesn’t need to tell me anything.” Kate watched color drained from Joel’s face, leaving his pasty colored skin the same as his hair and eyes. And once again, she wondered how she had ever found him attractive. “I know what you went through that day.”
“Well…good…at least someone understands.” Joel cut his eyes in Luke’s direction, his returning temper. “It hasn’t been easy, you know.”
Kate rejected his comment as if it were an annoying insect buzzing her head. “What you need to know…what I came to the church to tell you…is that as soon as my memory returned…I searched everywhere for you!” Her lips clamped back a sob. Luke sent her a look of concern.
But she couldn’t let her emotional reaction show. She couldn’t back down now. Lifting her chin, she faced Joel with a determination earned by her struggle to survive the ordeal she had experienced.
She was here because she had struggled through one day at a time. She wasn’t about to let Joel steamroll over the rest of her life.
“I l-looked at bodies lined up like fish on the beach. I searched under tarps for any remains that looked similar to y-your clothing or body build.” Her voice quivered. “I went from one secluded beach to the other, until I couldn’t look in the face of one more dead body. W-when I finally gave up, I was so exhausted I didn’t have the strength to find my way home. I lived like a zombie, helping the villagers who had saved my life to rebuild the shacks they called homes to deaden my pain.”
The Best Man Page 6
