Bloods Gem

by Gloria Conway

  “Faith, did you decide?”

  I forgot what her and I were even talking about, I guess I was thinking about the question but it lead me somewhere else. I was guessing she knew from my lack of eye contact I wasn’t paying attention.

  She snapped her finger in front of my face.

  “What!?” I snapped back.

  “Did you decide what school?” She shouted back.

  So that’s what we were talking about.

  “I told you I’m undecided.”

  She sighed and stood up, towering over me.

  “You don’t have much time before I leave. You need to decide what you’re going to do quick.” My mom was moving away for a new job as a graphic designer in Arkansas.

  I knew what she wanted me to say. Where she wanted me to go, but she wouldn’t ask that of me. Plus in some way she wished I’d go to a huge university and do something grand with my life. And there wasn’t anything grand about where she was moving to.

  I have thought about it a lot. The opportunities I have available to me are overwhelming and impressive. I was not particularly excited about going to a huge university. I would be happy with taking time for myself and becoming a waif for awhile. That sounded nice. Maybe backpack through Europe, or learn how to paint and have my own gallery there. Live there on my own.

  I knew I wanted to be away. Far away and on my own to explore. It was kind of scary though, being on my own. I’ve always relied on my mother who sheltered me from everything.

  Maybe that’s why I was such a recluse. Being sheltered my entire life. I did wonder what life would be like to have friends to do things with and have fun. Fun wasn’t in my vocabulary.

  I really didn’t know how to have fun or be happy. I was just here, living in my own world in my head. It felt safer.

  I thought about my mom’s words for awhile longer. Then she threw something at me. Another letter. Examining the envelope, I saw it was from Arkansas. I knew it was another acceptance letter. Would it be so bad to feel safe awhile longer? Maybe just enroll, so mom would feel secure too.

  Plus it’s something different. Cowboys and a lot of hay. Bull riding. It might be amusing to see the difference.

  California was full of diverse people and plenty of things to do. The idea that I had of Arkansas was that it was slower paced. Not necessarily a bad thing.

  How would they see me? An outsider invading their state? Would they leave me alone to let me marinate in my own thoughts? Could I go undetected? I was smiling.

  “Honey, don’t get any crazy ideas,” Mom blurted out.

  I laughed. “I know exactly what I want to do mom.”

  She hesitated staring at me like I was insane.

  “I’m going with you mom.”

  Her eyes wide, I could see a smile building. “Really?” She asked.

  “Yeah. I want to be near you. You know I can’t go out in this big world on my own… yet.”

  “But I thought you were undecided?”

  “I've decided now,” I smirked.

  She hugged me. I patted her on the back. “Okay, don’t make me change my mind,” I mumbled.

  I wasn’t opposed to the thought of being considered foreign to the people of Arkansas. “Do they even have internet?” I asked under my breath.

  Mom stood nearby trying to read my expression. I knew she was going to make a smart ass remark knowing her looks.

  We could read each others facial expressions giving us a heads up on what verbal torment we should brace ourselves for. “If you’re going to be negative or miserable the entire time you should consider other options,” Mom said. She was making me sound like a nuisance.

  I rolled my eyes. “I’m going!” I got up and went to my room to start packing.

  I had a whole month to prepare myself after I gave my mom my word about going with her. I sucked in a deep breath and started loading my stuff into our pick up truck. We would drive this clunker to Arkansas. Our new home. We didn’t have much money. Just enough to get us there, fed and gas for the truck.

  The drive was long and boring. We didn’t have a radio in the truck. I brought my hand held disk player to keep me entertained. Listening to Three Days Grace, muffled voices and static continually interfered. I threw my headphones off and mumbled, “Stupid thing.” under my breath.

  “Nothing getting in honey?” Mom asked.

  I sighed and stared out the window, lost in thought, thinking about how to fill this emptiness. I felt anxious but empty. Like something waited for me somewhere. I thought about getting a boyfriend when I got there and settled in. Maybe it would help the loneliness I was feeling. Someone to be able to go do simple things with like watching movies or going out to dinner, helping me shop, or just keep me company. Someone to occupy my mind instead of being depressed.

  I woke to the sound of Mom laughing. Darkness had fallen and once my vision cleared, I saw her standing outside talking to some guy. I looked up at the bright red and yellow sign that read Pilot. Noticing the big diesel trucks coming and going through the parking lot, I assumed we were at a truck stop. I tied my hair in a pony tail and put my shoes on.

  Stepping out of the truck, the wind nearly knocked me over.

  “You okay?” Mom asked grinning. The guy next to her stared as if I had interrupted something.

  “Yeah I’m good,” I said yawning.

  “Go get yourself a shower hun. I've already paid for it.” She tossed me a key.

  “What’s this?” I asked, examining the strange looking key in my hand.

  “It’s a key to the shower.” She resumed her conversation with the hairy guy beside her.

  The shower felt good on my skin. While washing my hair, I remembered a dream. Blood. Sitting on a bed in a dark room someone held me down biting me. Though paralyzed, I felt happy. A strange dream, I pushed away as I hurried to wash the soap from my head.

  The weather had turned, by the time I returned to the truck. Mist came from my breath, once inside I drew a blanket over myself.

  Mom sat smiling at me.

  “What?” I asked.

  “I think we’re going to be okay,” she said. I looked at her beaming, shook my head and let my head fall back down to my pillow.

  Chapter Ten

  Faith

  Passing the WELCOME TO ARKANSAS sign, I was immediately taken by the natural beauty of the state. It’s referred to as The Natural State for a reason.

  Our old truck climbed the steep mountain chugging the whole way. If the old thing was alive, reaching the top of the mountain would have been well worth the effort. We stared in awe as we looked down over the colors beneath us. Long stretches of trees, as far as the eye could see. Each tree a lighter or brighter color then the next. Various shades of yellow, followed by orange and fire red. It was autumn in Arkansas.

  The sunset produced a giant fiery ball, surrounded by an array of colors. A landscape of unreasonable beauty, as if Claude Monet had brushed it into being. It was beautiful. The complete opposite of my prior home. I had acclimated to the California smog, and the pollution surrounding the area in which we had lived. Here, it was pure. Nearly untouched.

  I would create new, happy memories here. I felt at ease. This was where I was supposed to be at this time.

  We pulled up to our new home. Wow… it’s a house. Mom’s new job set us up and it seemed perfect. A cute white house surrounded by woods. Seclusion with a bit of land with it. In the country, nice and quiet. Away from traffic. Perfect place to get lost in my thoughts, with no interruptions.

  “So what do you think?” she asked.

  I shrugged “It’s nice” I said. I Didn’t want to sound overly enthused. Stepping out of the truck, my legs were almost numb. As my foot touched the damp ground beneath me, I was overcome by a combination of odors. The rustic smell of burning wood combined with wet leaves made me feel one with my new surroundings. I smiled.

  Absent furniture, with dark green carpet and cream colored walls. The air smelled stale, as
if it had been closed up for years.

  “We can fix it up,” Mom announced.

  “Yeah. Not a big deal,” I said smiling back at her.

  After unloading the truck, I stared at the empty rooms. Mom stood beside me with her hand on my shoulder. “I got an advance from work. They wired money while we were on the road, so we could get the stuff we need to get by,” She assured me.

  “Oh,” I coughed out.

  “Want to go to town? We’ll need beds. Maybe we can find a Salvation Army or yard sales along the way. Pick up what furniture we can find.”

  “Sounds good,” I said as we got back in the pickup.

  Siloam Springs is a small town. The less people the better I thought. We drove through looking at the shops in the downtown district. I’d never seen a downtown so small. There was a little bookstore on the corner, mom shrieked.

  We loved bookstores and little ones were special. You could usually find first editions, often signed. We parked along the main street, and walked along the brick walk, making our way from one end to the other.

  The third store we visited was actually a furniture store. They had new and used furniture, cheap. Mom picked out a sofa set that came with this huge reading chair. I drooled. We picked out a few beds that the store would deliver to us later that day.

  Back home, we unloaded furniture. Exhausted by the time we finished, I flopped into the reading chair and closed my eyes, drifting to sleep. I woke in a dark room, with glowing eyes around me. I wasn’t scared. Smiling, as if I knew them. Growls like echoes sounded in the distance, moved closer and surrounded me. Something tugged at my clothes, but I could not see anything. Then I felt something biting my thigh, tearing through it. I laughed, mocking them. Was thrown into the air like a rag doll, and all I could hear was my laugh echoing in the room around me.

  I woke up to the smell of mom's cooking. She was making dinner in the kitchen. It smelled so good; my stomach growled at me. I pulled myself up from the chair and headed in that direction.

  “Fried chicken. Yummy,” I said.

  “Hey baby you're awake.”

  “Yeah. I must have been tired.”

  “I guess so,” she said staring at me.

  “What?” I asked.

  “You were laughing in your sleep,” she said, putting a piece of chicken in the pan. I slouched over the counter.

  “Yeah. Weird dreams”

  After a large dinner I decided to turn in early.

  Waking up early, I stumbled into the kitchen and prepared a small breakfast. After eating, I got ready to go enroll at my new school.

  I followed map directions printed online. Seemed as if I drove forever. Finally found my exit and slowly merged. I passed several restaurants and fast food joints, noting that Rogers was much larger then Siloam Springs, though too populated for my liking.

  The small community college parking lot was crammed with cars. After finding a spot, my hands began to sweat, followed by butterflies in my stomach. Taking a deep breath, I got out of the truck and walked towards the main building. A few people stood outside, smoking and chatting. I kept my head down and opened the door.

  Inside, the smell of oranges assaulted me. I found the door with big letters “OFFICE” I placed my hand on the door handle taking my time. I slowly exhaled and pushed open the door to my future.

  Mom was looking out the window when I pulled up. “How’d it go Honey?” She asked as I walked in.

  “All signed up,” I said.

  “So what are the kids like there?” She asked.

  “They seem fine, but I didn’t really like go up and start talking to them or anything.”

  She smiled. “I think you’ll be fine,” she said hugging me. “When do you start?”

  “Monday. Gives me time to settle in a little.” I walked to the kitchen to find something to eat and she followed.

  “How did you feel when you enrolled, excited, scared, petrified?” She asked laughing.

  “I felt fine mom,” I grumbled, annoyed by the questions.

  “Okay, I’ll leave you alone.” She kissed my head and took the keys from the counter.

  “I’m going out. Be back later,” She announced.

  I grabbed a candy bar from the cupboard and went to my room, took out my journal from my night stand next to my bed and started writing, about my day and what I’d hoped for.

  “Well today I survived being around people. They seemed almost too nice though. It was strange how they smiled and waved like they knew me for years. I smiled back but felt embarrassed. I got enrolled. I hope I can make some friends here, who I can feel comfortable with. Who knows… Maybe I’ll meet a cute guy and make him my boyfriend, I would like that. I dunno maybe not, it might make it hard to concentrate on my school work.

  I put my journal back in the nightstand and laid there for awhile just thinking about what I would say to people who approached me at school.

  “Hi, I’m Faith. Nice to meet you.” Or, “No I’m from California, not from around here.”

  What would they think when I told them where I was from? I wondered how they viewed California. Maybe they think it’s full of violence and smog. I wouldn’t blame them for thinking it. I was biased against rednecks and cowboys, before moving, but still had not seen one guy In a cowboy hat…

  My first day of school began disastrously. I fell walking up the stairs to my first class. Some guy helped me up, but I had turned bright red and kept walking. I had six hours left of feeling self conscious. I wanted to curl up under my desk and hide.

  I tried to relax but I was tense the whole time. I let myself zone out for awhile since I already knew the material.

  It was in English class when I met Chris. A cute guy with a nice body. Spiky dirty blond hair and green eyes. Our class had to partner up to write an essay together and he picked me right away.

  “Can I have you? Um can…we…” He stuttered.

  I giggled and we both turned red. “You wanna?” I gestured to the empty seat beside me. He sat with his head down, smiling.

  “If it makes you feel any better, on top of it being my first day, I fell on the steps going to my first class,” I said

  He glanced up and we both started laughing. His eyes lighting up as he laughed. It felt natural being around him.

  “So, you're from California?” He asked.

  “How’d you?” I looked at him sideways.

  “Talk, things get leaked quick around here,” He said.

  “Ahh” I said raising my eyebrow.

  “So how are you liking Arkansas?”

  “Well I haven’t seen much of it, but so far it’s decent.”

  He kept staring at me like I was going to say something else. I looked down at my paper scribbling out of nervousness.

  “So what should we use as a subject?” He finally asked.

  I thought for a second. “How about mythology?” It just popped in my head.

  “I don’t know much about that subject but we can try.” He kept nodding while looking at me.

  I started getting red again. “Sorry,” He said, then quickly looked away. Before class was over he asked me if we could get together after school to work on our essay. Of course I wanted to, he was so cute and smart, I just wanted to be around him.

  He told me he would pick me up in front after school and we’d go to his house to study. I called Mom and told her not to worry about picking me up that I would get a ride home.

  She sounded excited when I told her a boy was involved and tried to question me. I hung up without responding.

  Hoping to see Chris in my math class by lucky coincidence, but he wasn‘t there. But later, I found him at science class, waiting at the door for me. “Are you in this class?” I asked.

  He smiled, nodding.

  We stood in the doorway flirting, until other students filed in between us. Then he talked a friend into trading seats with me, so I could sit next to him.

  His eyes remained on me the whole time. It felt
good to be admired for once. Even with dating in the past, which was short lived, no one ever looked at me the way Chris did. I was flattered.

  Slipping me a note under the table, You have beautiful eyes, it said. I glanced at him, smiled and nudged his arm.

  Continuing to pass notes, I sent one back telling him to stop distracting me.

  After class we went to the cafeteria, where he introduced me to his friends. “This is Mike, David, Melissa, Kate and Drew.” They were all very nice. Kate was the quiet type, which fit my personality. I could see her and I being friends. Melissa was loud, obnoxious even. When she laughed it was like nails on a chalk board across my nerve endings. Mike was laid back. He didn't talk much. David and Drew were much like Melissa except the opposite sex. They were very animated when they spoke.

  “Faith and I are going to my house after school, so I can't go to the river today guys. Sorry,” He told his friends. They turned their attention to me and a brief, uncomfortable silence settled over the group.

  “You don’t have to cancel on them just to study with me,” I said, trying to get the focus off me.

  He turned to me. “You're worth it,” he said. The girls laughed and the guys rolled their eyes.

  The house was a beautiful two-story with a long driveway. It took a five minute drive to get to the front of the home. Flowers decked both sides of the walkway leading up to the door.

  Inside, it was even more spectacular. As we entered, I saw a chandelier hung from the entryway ceiling. Art work covered the walls. Many of which were oil paintings. The floors were a dark hardwood. It looked as though they were recently waxed, being that they were in immaculate condition. The whole entry was about the entire size of my house and intimidating.