I woke to Daniel's beautiful face smiling at me. He made me feel so loved, so important.
“Welcome back Love.” I sat up. That stupid thing was still around my stomach. “How long have I been out?” I asked.
“A few days. You needed the rest.”
“The hospital released me while I was still sleeping?”
“Well, We sort of.Cesar was actually your doctor, he did your surgery and everything. It was easier that way no one freaked out.”
“Freaked out about what?” I asked curious.
“Faith lets not talk about that. You just woke up. You don’t need any stress.”
“No! I wanna know, first how I could have been pregnant and second, how did it--” He sighed. “It grew really fast. When you went to reach for whatever you were reaching for, it ripped your stomach open.”
“But I didn’t even have a bump.”
“We’re dealing with something not. human Faith. This is not a normal pregnancy.” “So if I get pregnant by you again, I wont have a bump?”
“Not for at least a month. It stays hidden,buried. And that will never happen again. I'm so sorry Love.”
“It wont happen again? What are you saying? You don’t want a child?”
“At what cost? Your life? I don’t think so.”
“Your mother had three! I mean, I can eventually.”
“Not worth the risk.”
“What?!” I yelled, hurt.
“It’s not worth losing you is all I'm trying to say Love. Calm down. Maybe we can adopt someday, when we are ready.”
“Whatever Daniel. Always on your terms, never about what I want.”
“Don’t say that.”
“I mean, it’s true. You have all these rules, regulations and it’s annoying.”
“It’s for the best. These rules… are in place for a reason. To protect you. You're not in a relationship with a human Faith. I mean, what do you want? Me to treat this like we are two normal people having a healthy normal relationship? Because that’s far from what this is.”
“So what is this then?” I asked.
“I don't know anymore.”
“What?”
Daniel stood up and started walking out.
“Leave then! I just miscarried your child and you start an argument, then want to leave me. I guess that’s what your good at.”
“Why do you like to hurt me Faith?”
“You… you're. Forget it! Just go!”
He turned around and went downstairs. I laid there crying In my pillow. He seemed distant, defeated. Daniel was fading and I didn’t understand why. The next few days Celeste helped feed me, bath me and helping me to the bathroom.
Daniel stayed away from me. He wouldn't talk to me or even glance in my direction. It made me feel vulnerable and hurt. I felt like he had abandoned me in this time of need and he didn’t care about my feelings. Or, how it hurt me to loose our child. He was repulsed by it all.
I starting to resent him. Not only did he betray me once but Daniel seemed cruel and empty as of late. Later, I would tell him about my plan to move back in with my mom. I didn’t want to be around him anymore. It was just too painful.
Daniel was downstairs watching television. I slowly walked down and he didn’t look up once. I felt a knot in my stomach, then my eyes began burning. I held back the tears. I picked up the remote and turned the television off. He stared at the blank screen.
“Are you going to talk to me or continue to give me the silent treatment?” I asked.
He wouldn’t respond.
“I'm moving back in with my Mom. I can’t take this anymore. You wont even look at me, or touch me. What man does that to the woman he loves?”
He glanced at me. “I am no man… I'm nothing.”
“What is wrong with you? Why are you acting like this? Why are you shutting me out?” He stood up. “I’m sorry…” He said, looking down.
“For what?” I asked.
He glanced up again. “We… I can’t pretend this is okay Faith. Not anymore.”
“What's not okay?”
“Us. This. It’s not right. You and me, a human and a demon. A creature of the night. I can’t live normally with you Faith and I can’t pretend anymore.” He looked disgusted. his fist tightened. He began shaking.
“Are you breaking up with me or something?” I asked.
He shot me a hopeless expression.
I fell to my knees, holding my stomach. “How could you, do this to me? And just leave. How cruel are you!” I shouted.
“This is why we can’t be together. If all I can do is hurt you. I can never be good enough.”
I stood up, staring him in the face. “Why are you doing this to me?!” I yelled. I slapped him.
“I deserve worse. If I could show you. How bad I feel for hurting you. I wouldn’t be here anymore but neither would you. So… that’s not an option, no matter how tempting.” “If you leave me. I'll never forgive you. Don’t try begging me back.”
“I wont. And I already know this. I know you wont. I understand that. I wont forgive myself for what I’ve caused. You wont ever see me again. You wont even know who I am.”
“Don’t you dare think about it Daniel, I swear--”
“It’s the best way. I’ve caused too much damage. If the only thing I can give you before I leave is no memory of this ever happening, us… everything. Take away your hurt. Your loss.”
“Our loss!”
“That’s another thing Love. I can’t Love something that tries to hurt you, or kill you. That we will never agree on and I know how much you want it to be different.”
“Well, I guess you are doing me a favor then. I wouldn’t want a heartless demon impregnating me.” I saw the pain in his eyes when I said that.
“You're right. I am a demon and I'm sorry.”
“Well, what are you waiting for? Hurry up. I don’t want to look at you any longer before I hurt you myself.”
“You’ve done a lot of that already. Worse then any physical pain could ever do.”
“Funny. And you are the victim?”
“Not by any means. I'm not saying I didn’t deserve every bit. I just want you to have the satisfaction of knowing, your words. They hurt. To the core. Even if some things you say are true, looking at myself in the way you describe makes me hate myself that much more.”
I wanted to slap him in the face again. Everything word he spoke, killed me inside. How could he be so heartless? So cruel to me?
“I mean every word I said Daniel. If you do this. I promise, if I ever remember. I wont forgive you. You will never feel my lips on yours again. Feel my warm breath in your ear. Feel my arms wrapped around you or hear me whisper how much I love you.”
He held his stomach, tears filling his eyes. “I know. This is the hardest thing I'll ever have to do. Letting you--” He couldn’t talk anymore.
I cried with him. “Please. Don’t… leave me,” I begged.
“I have no choice. This isn’t the life for you Faith. I can’t be selfish anymore. I can’t have you.”
“I want this! I want you! I want this life. I don’t care about anything else. We don’t have to have a child, I promise, just don’t go!”
“You will someday. Really want it. And I wont. I will never ever make love to you again and I know that alone is going to hurt you. Everything I can't do for you, hurts you and in turn hurts me. I want to die inside. I die every time I hurt you, or can't give you what you need. I want you to have a fulfilling life, full or love, romance, passion and children. I can't give these things to you and I'm sorry.”
He stood up wiping his tears away. “This is extremely painful saying goodbye Love. I wish. I was dead right now and didn’t have to suffer this torment I'll have to endure for three-hundred years. But I must, for you. I love you Faith, always will. We will be together again in our afterlife. I will count the days till I can feel you against me again. This wont be goodbye, just good bye for now.” Tears rolled down
our faces. He held me close, as though he didn't want to let go. I clinched onto him, sobbing, knowing what was next. The pain was unbearable, and I wanted to die with him in that moment, so we could be together forever.
The End
About the Author
Gloria Conway lives and writes in NW Arkansas with her son, husband and various reptiles.
Bloods Gem Page 30
