by HJ Golakai
“What a hurtful comment. I cook on weekdays, if my guest is worth it. Seeing as I’ve got another mouth to feed now …” The smirk graduated to a leer.
“Mttssssshhw,” she sucked her teeth so hard they vibrated. “Like dah real cooking you doin’. Who you tink will eat dah mess?” She crisscrossed her arms so tightly over her chest that her breasts hurt.
He cracked up then, unable to hold it in. Vee squashed her lips together, fighting it.
“You came with your boxing gloves on, I see.”
“Aaay! I’hn come here with nuttin o, I beg you. I wanted to see how you doin’. If you okay.” She paused. “If we okay.”
His shoulders curled up in a casual shrug; his eyes laughed, jeered, at her. He would wait her out, however long it took, till she fessed up as to why she’d really come. “Totally copacetic. Why wouldn’t we be?”
“Who know? I never fully know anything with you, Joshua Allen.”
“Taste this.”
He swiped excess drip off the back of the wooden spoon and swirled it around to cool before holding it out. She held stance. She considered reminding him how unhygienic and culturally reprehensible it was, putting a cooking spoon directly to one’s mouth then blithely continuing to use it. How American. But from the arch of his brows and quirk of his mouth it was clearly another test. One Aria wouldn’t baulk at.
She stepped up.
He edged the spoon away, egging another couple of steps out of her, till barely a pace kept them apart.
Vee chuckled. His grin widened.
She parted her lips and allowed herself to be fed. The stew was rich, enticing her salivary glands into participation. She ‘mm-hmm’ed, licking her lips. “Lil bit more salt.”
He carefully balanced the spoon against the pot, switched the gas off, and closed the gap in a single step. His arms encircled her waist as he pressed her to the cabinets. His mouth came down, heart beating a warm, familiar rhythm against hers. Her tongue entwined with his without thought. He pulled back abruptly; Vee uttered an involuntary mewl of disappointment.
“Hmmm.” He smacked his lips. “Tastes perfect to me. But if you insi–”
She whacked the back of his head. “See! This is why I don’t come here no more.”
“Ohh really? ’Cause I thought you were so busy weaving your web of deception, you’d lost track of my address.”
“You got some kinda nerve talkin’ ’bout lies! Tell me who you told that your lil piece of ass was in town, living with you.” She shook her head at him like a sage admonishing a foolish and wayward child. “This bitch ruined your life, did you forget that?”
“Aha, now we uncover the real motive behind this visit: to piss on your tree. So transparent,” he said, faking a look of severe affront. She made a disgusted sound at the back of her throat. “One, of course I didn’t forget, I was there for every second of it. Two, she’s not living with me. Three, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know how you’d take it. You always know just how to stop me every time I try to move on.”
She crumbled. Like daggers puncturing her flesh they hurt: her own words turned on her. The very same words she’d employed to make her escape back to Titus. She walked a little ways from him, her gaze skittering to the wall, the floor, anywhere but on him. His black leather shoes advanced; she couldn’t look up.
“V.J.,” he said, voice husky. “I’m an ass. That wasn’t necessary.”
Her head bounced up and down. “Yeah, no, cool. What happened wasn’t necessary, or right. If things had been different …” She dared to look up.
“Things are never different enough.”
“Then maybe it’s time we face it.”
“No.” His eyes gripped, as forcefully as a hand under her chin, forcing her to face him, to be real. This isn’t how we do things, they said. In them, the softer smoke of his irises retreated as something darker gathered; the two lines of bone just below his brows, his store of anger, jutted almost imperceptibly. On the brink … She held her breath.
In two blinks, the cloud dissolved. “Come on now. You came to cuss me out, right.”
“I came to see you. Make sure you weren’t falling into any black holes of bad decisions, because that’s what friends do. And now I’ve seen you. So –”
“Uh-uh.” He firmly planted his hands on the counter on either side of her waist, effectively boxing her in. The air between them warmed, thickened, vibrated. He smelled of cedar, green grass and ocean air, of creaking bedsprings and moans into each other’s mouths and hours of her life she often lectured herself into not wasting, time that never felt wasted afterwards.
“Look, I’hn go for it today o. Stop it and let me pass.”
“You wasted gas to come across town and didn’t anticipate any freshness? A little streetwalker like you? I don’t buy it.”
She smacked him again and he chuckled, creating a warm breeze near her cheek and ear. She let her hand linger on his bicep, her palm and fingers swept with rising tingles when she withdrew. “You see how you behave?” he rasped. “Abusing me in my own place. But if I even dare retaliate –”
“You jammin’ me up like some high school boy.”
“How? What … this?”
He pressed in without hardly moving, dipping his forehead to hers, leaving between them a whisper of distance. Her breasts tingled, chest arching towards his. “I’m standing where I want to stand. Haven’t laid a finger on you.”
His hands, palms down on the edge of the countertop, drew together, tightening the circle. He trailed his lips, barely brushing the skin, but not quite, of her throat, jawline, earlobe. Her skin prickled in anticipation of his beard’s caress, the feel of it ghosting by amping her pulse from girlie pitter-patters to more womanly, mortifyingly louder thumps.
“Still not touching you.” His breathing caressed.
Further down, with the barest of leans, fabric touched fabric; Vee fluttered as the swell of his excitement brushed the crotch of her skirt, then nestled in with confidence, edging her legs apart.
“Don’t,” she quavered, voice distorted to her own ears.
“Come on. Give a guy five minutes. I’ll be in and out, literally. You’ll barely feel a thing.”
“Smh.” She fought the giggles valiantly and failed. “How’s that in my interest?”
“Then negotiate. Tell me what your interest is.” His breath tickled her lips as he spoke against them. He almost landed a kiss but pulled it back, brushing it along her cheek, touching her at last, the soft yet bristly hairs on his chin waking up sensors along the way. Pleasure wrenched between her legs. “Pretty sure we can come up with something mutually beneficial.”
His eyes filled her vision like black pools, sucking her in, strangling her senses of free will until finally she broke, linked fingers behind his head and swept their mouths together.
“Touchdown,” Joshua grinned when they paused for air.
“Do you think I’m unobvious?” she asked.
“When I came home last niiight … you wouldn’t make love to me,” crooned an indignant Rick James out of the speakers next to the bed. Vee tipped the volume down a tad, smiling at the irony of the lyrics. Joshua was the only man, only person she knew, with the gumption to loop a seventies funk mega-mix during afterglow.
Joshua guffawed. “What?” He let it marinate a second. “You’re not obvious, that’s for sure. If those are the only options, then yes, you are.”
Vee stuck her tongue out at him and scarfed more food. “You didn’t make this,” she slurred.
“Woolies Foods. Though I take full credit for my own essential touches. And pork.” He pinched her nose. “’Cause I knew you were coming, and I know how much you love protein that had a face, and parents.”
He nabbed a final bite off her spoon, wrinkling his nose when she offered up more. Leant against the headboard, he tickled a trail down her neck and spine, eyelids nearly at full droop as he studied her. “This suits you,” he said, ruffling her hair. “There�
��s a certain … impishness about it.”
“For true? I thought only bouncy mullato curls falling down pipo shoulders turned you on.”
“Oh God. First of all, stop with the ‘mullato’ thing. Surely you’re aware that’s a pejorative term nowadays.”
“Said who? I’ll call that ho what I like.”
“I knew this wasn’t over. A full cussing-out had to follow.”
“You crazy if you thought otherwise.”
“Alright then, let’s have it. All of it, so we can move on.”
“I already gave you everything.”
“Oh-ho, was that what that was? I know you missed me but that wasn’t your best work.”
Vee clattered the plate onto the bedside dresser. Unencumbered, she ran a hand over his hair, relishing the texture of strangely bristly softness. “Why you letting her stay here? And for how long? She’hn got no business here, so what she want?”
Joshua planted a kiss on her cheek. “Grill her yourself when you see her. As for – oww! Can you stop hitting me? As for putting her up, it won’t be for much longer. She found her own place; she’s moving out on Thursday.”
Vee pinioned him with a squint. “Did you …”
“Weeell …” His shrug came off like an apologetic drawl. She shoved him several times, graduating to not-so-playful slaps across his chest till he caught and held her by the wrists. “What?! Don’t give me that look. How rude would it have been if I hadn’t? She really puts it out there, the toned glutes and rippling deltoids all up in your face. I am but a man; temporary insanity and all that.” He tweaked her nose. “Had you stayed put and defended your turf, instead of outsourcing your ratchetry –”
“Aay-yah, fineboy know plenty book for true! All I recall saying was let’s take some time out and think about things.”
“But I don’t like thinking about things. My paycheck is a tangible testament to the everyday mundanity of exercising my grey cells. I deserve to enjoy not thinking whenever the chance presents itself.”
“Y’all were crowding me, dammit. I needed a lil break.”
“You didn’t take a break from Titus.”
“I took a universal break!” She uttered a long, frustrated grunt. “And I definitely didn’t suggest fucking your ex-girlfriends.”
“Stop. How crass.” He clucked, head shaking. “I didn’t fuck her, we made sweet love. A far cry from our thing.” He made a face and Vee fought her facial muscles to keep from laughing. “This is on you completely. You can’t kick me to the curb while you run off with my rival, and expect it to end there. I’m a Leo; sulky and theatrical when ignored.”
“Asshole.”
“Love of my life.” He pulled her into his arms.
“Hhmmph. Anyway. You’ve fed me and romanced me, so I won’t make long palaver with you. Today.” Vee snuggled onto his chest, smoothing his fine hairs, running her fingers over the stippled scar near his ribcage. “Tell me something, though, about – Oh! Before I get to that, did I mention I saw your sister?”
He barely flickered a lash. “My sister’s in New York.”
“Well done. Now recall all those other ones your pa populated the Earth with.”
“My dad’s in New York. That other guy …” His shoulders fashioned a drawl of a shrug; his eyelids drooped once more to a nonchalant half-mast.
“You boy, who you tryin’ to fool? Go try that don’t-give-a-damn somewhere else, my friend, because I know it not for me.” She linked one elbow round his neck and drew him to her, brushing her lips across the tiny mole near his ear, bull’s-eye for a favourable reaction. He chuckled, shaking his head. “I know you lil bit interested.”
Joshua sighed. “Which one? The eternal student, who’s forever adding projects to her PhD? Or the … uggh no, not the drunken fille de joie with the bad breath.”
“I wouldn’t be able to comment –”
“Oh, you’ll know the halitosis victim, otherwise known as Halli Very, a mile away. Smokes like a chimney, parties like crazy? That kid’s gonna be fully stir-fried by the time she’s our age.”
Vee shook her head. “The ultimate one,” she whispered.
He smacked his forehead. “Penis Envy?! Christ, you poor thing. Under what circumstances were you subjected to that?”
“Joshua, get over yourself. From what I gathered, she admires the brother she never knew from afar, or rather, fixates on your life. I doubt she literally wants to be you.”
“Nonsense. A lowly woman wouldn’t understand the glory of being a first-born son. I am the one true king of the realm and she can’t stand it!” He pummelled his chest like King Kong.
“Whatever, psycho. Your life is no Game of Thrones. She’s not even my point.”
She lapsed into recap mode, sticking to the day’s details since he was already up to speed on the weekend’s escapades. “We’re covering our bases. After we left The ITF we ran around to four of the other participants, called another six, and we’ve found nothing extraordinary. They barely have time or want to talk to us, they’re all too absorbed in the scramble to do damage control.”
She sat up to better face him. “I’m trying to shape it up in my mind. At first I thought this was about money, cold hard cash. It’s got that kind of rage behind it, only love and money make that kind of crazy. Now … what if the scorecards and certificates’ validity had something to do with the murders? You know, a competitor’s in better shape than you, you axe the competition.” She scratched the bridge of her nose. “That won’t work. Of the three in the financials category, B&M’s in the best shape, but even so, the others on the shortlist still get a boost in recognition. They’ll all rise above the fray. Lord knows there’s enough tenders flying around.”
“That’s part of the whole point of the BEE setup.”
“I thought it was bee-bee-bee …” Vee sniggered, “like fifty ‘B’s followed by another, what, thirty-five ‘E’s.”
“Yeah, kind of a redundant mouthful. B-BBEE. Broad-based bl–”
“Yeah, yeah,” with a grin, she waved him to continue.
“As much as possible, the government’s set up these preferential rules of practice and procurement to put the little guys in the economic loop. If you lose out on the likes of LEAD, there’s still a smorgasbord of opportunities floating around to snap up. So agreed, I don’t see anybody strangling a guy to death.” He cocked an eyebrow . “Nevertheless …”
“What?” Vee drew her knees under her chin.
“On a normal day, people kill for less. Motives only ever need to make sense in a murderer’s crazy mind.”
“Too true.”
“Specific to this, BEE needs help. The heart’s in the right place, but it’s the pulse that tells you how well everything works. It’s scattered, and if corruption keeps feeding on it, it could be bled dry completely. The system, supported by the tender bid practice which is an entirely different fish-fry, is as open as whore’s legs. Frickin’ free-for-all for bloodsuckers.”
“Thanks, I think your vampire metaphor’s gone far enough,” Vee said, rubbing her overfull stomach. “Wait. You’re a fine one to lecture on corruption and misappropriation of public funds, mister hypocrite. A treasured employee of the company that was part and parcel of a glorified Ponzi scheme that stole squillions of dollars and juke finger in the eyeballs of hard-working folks. You’re lucky your job didn’t get axed in that fallout.”
“I’m lucky I’m American. One who got recruited from New York to work in an African satellite office. Plus my work’s hardly related to that scandal. Still though, land of the free and home of the brave.” He shook his head. “That assclown Bernie Madoff really screwed us over. His and JPMorgan’s feigned ignorance over his actions have made investment bankers even more popular with the public. Yippee.” He briefly rubbed the back of his neck. “Sometimes I wonder if we’re not the bloodsuckers people think that we are. If everything we do truly …”
His lapse into silence presented the opportunity to observe him du
ring her second favourite thing to watch him do, besides make and pour fresh coffee in the morning whilst still dozy: think. There was much to be gleaned from a man’s personal quirks, every woman compiled her archive, and she revelled in all of Joshua’s versions. Back and shoulders straight, jaw working occasionally, a keenness in those dopey eyes anyone else would miss. She rested her chin on her knee until he blinked his way back to her. “Where was I?”
“Cutting it a little close to the bone there, old man. I think career dissatisfaction’s creeping up on you with age.” He replied with a quasi-sour smile and she took his hand and kissed the back of it. “Corruption and bloodsuckers.”
“Right. Of stinks and stinkers. We all know them, the projects that start all shiny and above board, before exploding like a bad sewage pipe. The arms deal?”
“Oh Lord,” Vee groaned. “Please don’t remind me about the arms deal fiasco. It practically replaced the national anthem, the way everyone kept singing about it.”
“Exactly. Look how high the filthy hand went up the skirt that time. To the President himself. We all had a frickin’ conniption and then what …” he sliced hand through the air to indicate a flatline.
“So … you’ve lost me now. Whatchu sayin’?” She made puppy eyes. “Please just tell me what you’re telling me. I’ve had so many lectures on investment economics this week, my brain is about to melt.”
“I digressed a tad there, my bad.” He wriggled a soft grey hoodie emblazoned with ‘Columbia University’ over his head and pulled his pants over boxer shorts. “There’s your murdered guy –”
“Two. Two murders.”
“Fine, two. If they have anything to do with rotten deals, broken promises and pissed off investors, that’s open season in the motive department. Don’t spin your wheels chasing all the superficialities you think it’s supposed to be, ’cause that’s a lotta extra work. Feel it out, in that weird way you do.”
“Yes. To strangle a grown man like that and string him up like a side of beef …” Vee feigned a shudder. “That’s a middle finger to everything he stood for. It’s him that’s key, his life, his company, before we start widening the net. Meanwhile back at headquarters …” She snorted. “Nico’s itching for us to fall on our faces, while Miss Portia’s on her broom cackling in the background. They’re cookin’ up something, two of them. A reason to sack me.”
