by K. C. Lynn
I am not someone who should be around children. Not with what I have constantly lurking inside of me. Yet the thought of never touching her or kissing her again, it has my chest constricting with panic and no matter how hard I try I’m not so sure I’ll be strong enough to resist her…
The soft pitter-patter of little feet pulls me from my thoughts and draws my attention to the left. I rise up quickly on one arm when I see the young girl standing just inside the living room, watching me while hugging a stuffed animal to her chest. I wait for her to say something, but all she does is stare at me. “What do you need, kid?”
Oh smooth, asshole, you can at least try not to sound like a total dick.
When she doesn’t answer, I try again but soften my tone. “You need a drink or something?” She shakes her head. “You want me to get Faith?” She shakes her head. “You hungry?” She shakes her head again. “Well, what do you want?”
She pushes her shitty, broken glasses up on her nose and says, “Tan I sweep wif you?”
Panic strikes me fast. No fucking way! I try to keep my voice even. “Don’t you want to sleep with your brother?”
She shakes her head. “Dat bed isn’t vewy big and Twistiphwor is sowe so I don’t want to huwt him.”
Well fuck, this couch isn’t very big either. Why the hell does she want to sleep here when it’s apparent she’s scared shitless of me? I see it in her expression whenever she looks at me—especially in the truck tonight, after witnessing what I did to her old man and his buddy. It sucks she saw that, but there was no other option.
“What about Faith?” I suggest, hoping to hell she says yes but she doesn’t. Instead she shakes her head again. I try to think of another suggestion but she takes my silence as a yes and walks over to me. Oh fuck! “Listen, kid, this couch isn’t big enough.”
“Dat’s otay, I’m small,” she responds, crawling up beside me.
I tense and lean back further into the couch. “Yeah, you are, but I’m big. Really big.”
She looks at me like I’m an idiot. “I know. I tan see dat.”
Then, as if I haven’t been trying to get rid of her, she takes her glasses off and folds the broken arms before placing them on the coffee table. Reaching down by my feet, she pulls the blanket over us and situates herself on her side so she’s facing my chest. I stare down at her, wondering how the fuck I’m going to get out of this.
“Why do you have eawings in yowr boobs?” she asks, staring at my nipple rings.
Jesus, is this kid for real? “Guys don’t have boobs,” I tell her firmly.
“Yes, dey do, dey’re just wittle ones.”
“No, they’re called nipples, not boobs.”
She shrugs. “Fine. Why do you have eawings in dem?”
I think about it for a minute, not knowing how to reply, so I opt for the simple truth. “Because I wanted to.”
Instead of questioning me further, she moves onto something else. “You tan’t sweep eider, huh?”
Well I sure as fuck can’t now. But I don’t voice that. Instead I lie back down and push myself as far back as I can into the couch, since she clearly isn’t going anywhere. And what does she do? She moves closer to me. Jesus, someone fucking help me.
She’s quiet for only a second before she starts again. “I have de wost name in de wowld, huh?” She looks at me and actually wants me to answer.
I shrug. “I don’t know. It’s not that bad. I’ve heard worse.” Okay, I’m half lying. Her name is pretty fucking bad. I don’t know why the hell someone would call their kid Ruth Jean, but I have heard worse.
“Yeah wight, what was it?” she asks, not believing me.
“Tonto Schluckenburger.”
Her eyes grow wide before she covers her mouth and giggles. “Otay, dat may be wowse den mine.”
I grunt. “It is definitely worse than yours.” He was in my third grade class, and I remember that poor kid was fucking ridiculed to death. His parents should have had their asses kicked, not him.
“You have wots of muscles,” she states now, changing the subject again. “And you’re pwetty stwong too. You frew my dad’s mean fwiend acwoss de woom to save Twistiphwor.”
And now it all comes together. Rather than being afraid at seeing what I did to those assholes tonight, she thinks I’m safe. “I didn’t save anyone, kid. I just did what needed to be done until the police got there.” I feel like an asshole. I don’t want her to think I didn’t do it to help her brother, but she needs to understand just who I am. And safe is not one of them.
“You saved Faif’s wife.”
I rear back in surprise. “How do you know about that?”
“Faif told me. She said yow’re de stwongest man in de whole wowld.” I stay silent and feel something shift in me at hearing that. “I bet noding stares you.”
I grunt, little does she know. She and Red scare the shit out of me.
“You don’t say vewy much.”
“And you talk a lot.”
She doesn’t get offended; she only looks at me like I’m an idiot again. “I know dat.” Then she decides to switch to another topic again: “Why awe you weawing a beanie, awe you told?”
Shit! I reach up and rip it off, realizing I forgot to take the fucking thing off. “That’s enough questions for tonight. You need to go to sleep. You guys have a big day ahead of you tomorrow.”
She lets out a tiny breath then whispers, “I hope evewyding will be otay. I don’t want to go bat to my dad. He’s so mean, especiawwy to Twistiphwor.”
My chest pulls tight at her tiny, scared voice. “Don’t worry, kid, that won’t happen. Faith will make sure of it.” And so will I, but I decide not to voice that.
She nods then moves in closer, and literally within seconds she’s asleep. Pulling the blanket higher up on her bare arm, I look down at her tiny, vulnerable form and a memory strikes me, one so painful that I quickly push it away just so I can breathe. When I lay down, to try and get some sleep, she burrows her face right into my scarred chest. I’m in very serious shit!
CHAPTER 17
Faith
After waking up for what must be the thousandth time, I look at the clock to see it’s five am. I decide to give up on sleep and go check on the kids quickly before I hop in the shower.
Throwing on a light cardigan over my tank, I head down two flights of small stairs in the dark to the spare room, and quietly peek my head in. Alarm screams inside of me when I don’t see Ruth Jean in bed next to Christopher. Closing the door, I look around the TV room and don’t see her on the couch. I check the bathroom and see she’s not there either.
Was she in bed with me and I missed her? I promptly head back up both flights of stairs and check my room to make sure I didn’t miss her. She isn’t there.
With panic now threatening to choke me, I rush back down and into the living room to wake up Cade. I come to an abrupt halt when I reach the couch and see Ruth Jean cuddled up against his bare chest. Relief swamps me just before my heart completely melts into a giant puddle of goo at the sight of Cade’s tattooed, muscular arm wrapped protectively around her tiny body, their faces both soft with sleep.
Not being able to resist, I grasp my hair with one hand then lean down and press a soft kiss to Ruth Jean’s forehead, then another to Cade’s. Just as I turn to go get another blanket, since the one they have is completely wrapped around Ruth Jean, I feel a big, warm hand grasp the inside of my thigh, halting me.
I look down at Cade, and even in the dark I can see the warm hazel color of his eyes. Goosebumps break out across my skin when his thumb starts rubbing small circles on the inside of my leg.
“Hi,” I whisper softly then give him a small smile when I glance at the little girl against his chest.
“She asked me why I have earrings in my boobs.”
I cover my mouth and giggle into my hand, not wanting to wake Ruth Jean. Oh lord, poor guy.
His expression is blank but I catch a slight lift to his lips. “She talks a l
ot.”
Smiling, I take a seat at the edge of the coffee table across from them. “I know. She has a lot to say, she’s very intelligent.” When he doesn’t respond I start to worry he’s really bothered by it. “I’m sorry. You could have woken me.”
He shrugs. “I tried to tell her there wasn’t enough room here and that she should sleep with either you or her brother, but she assured me she is small and crawled her skinny ass up here anyway.”
I smile. “She feels safe with you.”
Something passes over his expression. “Yeah, because someone told her I am the strongest guy in the world and saved their life.”
I feel my face flush with embarrassment at being caught for talking about him. “You are the strongest man I’ve ever met,” I whisper truthfully.
He watches silently, his expression softening. “You’re the strong one, Red.”
My heart skips a beat and warmth blooms across my chest. Reaching over, I take his hand that was on the side of my leg earlier. “I know you don’t think I should do this, but it’s right, Cade. I can feel it in my heart. These kids were brought into my life for a reason. I can’t turn them away and I don’t want to either.”
He links his fingers with mine. “I’m just worried about you. It’s a lot to take on. Especially by yourself.”
“I know it’s not going to be easy but I won’t be completely by myself. I think my parents will be supportive, even if they are concerned, and Katelyn will too.”
He’s silent for a long moment. “I’ll be here for you too, if you ever need me.”
My heart falters in surprise. I’m not sure who is more shocked by what he just said—him or me. I want to tell him that I’ll always need him but then think better of it.
“Just don’t ask me to babysit. I’m not good at any of that shit.”
I give him a smile. “Mmmm, then what kind of favors are we talking about, Walker?”
I watch his eyes ignite with fire at my flirtatious question. “Don’t say shit like that, Red, when I have a kid against my chest.”
I bite my lip to stifle my giggle. Getting to my knees on the floor in front of them, I lean down and press a kiss to the inside of his warm palm. “Thank you for staying last night, and thank you for helping me. I hate to think what would have happened with their father if you hadn’t been there.”
He runs his fingers through my hair and cups the side of my face. “There’s a lot I can’t help you with, but kicking someone’s ass I can do no problem.” I smile and lean into his touch. “I guess I should put my shirt back on before the sun comes up and I scare the shit out of her.”
I swallow past the sudden lump in my throat at thinking about his scars. “You’re still beautiful,” I tell him softly.
He scowls at me. “What did I tell you about using me and that word in the same sentence?”
Smiling, I’m about to correct myself when someone clears their throat. I look behind me to see Christopher standing at the edge of the living room. I stand and hurry over to him, my heart breaking all over again at the sight of his face.
“Hi. You’re up early. Are you feeling okay? Do you need more aspirin?”
He shakes his head. “No. Sorry to interrupt, I just couldn’t find Ruth Jean.” I point over at Cade and hope he isn’t upset about her sleeping with him. “I figured,” he replies, not sounding mad or surprised.
“Really? Not me. I was in a panic looking everywhere for her when I checked on you guys a few minutes ago.”
“I knew she would go to him. All she talked about last night was how he kicked dad’s and Spike’s ass. Then she proceeded to tell me about the time you told her he saved your life, and that he is the strongest guy in the world. She told me no one could beat him up and I had to listen to it until I fell asleep.” He grumbles all this but I can tell he isn’t really that annoyed by it.
I chuckle when I hear Cade’s annoyed grunt across the room. The easy moment vanishes quickly when I see Christopher flinch as he stretches. I rub his bare arm gently, my hand smoothing over his welt. “Are you sure you don’t want some more aspirin?”
“No. I’m fine.” He doesn’t look fine but I don’t push since I can tell he is uncomfortable at my affection.
“So, I was thinking a lot last night,” he starts nervously, “I just want to be upfront with you and let you know that if something doesn’t work out, and they don’t let us stay here… I’m taking her and I’m leaving. I won’t go back there after last night and I won’t let them ship us anywhere else.”
“That’s not going to happen, kid. We’ll make sure of it.”
My head snaps to Cade in surprise, and my heart warms at his reassurance. I can see him a little more clearly now with the beginning of sunrise flittering through the windows. I give him a small, appreciative smile before turning back to Christopher. “He’s right. We won’t. I’ll do whatever I have to, I promise.”
He nods but still looks unsure. Then he looks downs at his feet before clearing his throat again. “Is it okay if I take a shower? We will have to go back to the house, at some point, for some of our clothes too.”
I thought about that after we got home last night—that we should have grabbed some before leaving. “Of course. We will figure all that out later today. Come, I’ll show you what will be your very own bathroom. Ruth Jean and I will share the one upstairs.”
I take him down and get him situated with fresh towels, soap and shampoo. I let him know we will go buy whatever usual brand he prefers later today. That’s when he stares at me and says, “This is fine, Faith. I’m just happy I get to use soap that some asshole didn’t shove a razor blade into.”
My heart literally stops at his words and agony strikes my soul. The awful things this poor boy has had to endure, and I’m sure I don’t even know the half of it. With tears clouding my eyes, I wrap my arms around his waist, my head coming to his chin since he’s just a bit taller than me.
He tenses at my affection but I don’t care and I don’t pull back. “Never again, Christopher,” I whisper tearfully against his battered chest. “I promise. Never again.” Then before I really lose it in front of him, I walk out and close the door behind me.
Tears stream down my face as I head back up the stairs. As I walk into the kitchen I see Cade standing at the sink, fully dressed. His eyes narrow in concern at me. “What? What’s wrong?”
It takes me a minute to find my words. “His father put razor blades in his soap,” I choke out through a painful breath. “Razor blades, Cade. On purpose. To hurt him.” I cover my mouth trying to hold back my sob and before I know it I’m in his arms. “How could someone do that to their own child? How could someone do that to any child?”
His big, warm hands run up and down my back as I cry against his chest. “Because the world is filled with fucked-up people, Red. People who don’t deserve to fucking breathe.”
Pulling myself together, I look up at him and he wipes my cheeks with the pads of his thumb. “Yeah, but I still believe there are more good ones.” He doesn’t respond and I know that’s mostly because he doesn’t believe that.
I suddenly become aware of how close we are, my soft body against his hard, warm one, with my fists clenched in his shirt. Licking my suddenly dry lips, his eyes drop to my mouth and ignite with fire. “Kiss me,” I whisper before I can stop myself.
Groaning, his arms tighten around my back and he lifts me so my feet dangle off the floor, then crushes his mouth to mine and kisses me the way I’ve been aching for him to since leaving the bar last night.
I wrap my arms around his neck and give just as good as I get. Our warm tongues intimately caressing one another, his amazing taste and scent overwhelming my senses in the best way. A hint of my tears and pain mixing in with the beauty our mouths make together. Sliding one hand up the back of his neck, I slip it under his beanie and grip the silky strands of his hair.
“What’s with the beanie, Walker?” I ask against his mouth.
“I do
n’t know. I’ve grown attached to the fucking thing and can’t seem to stop wearing it.”
I giggle at his truthful answer. “I like it. It suits you and I think you look sexy in it.”
He growls against my lips. “I think you’re fucking sexy, Red, every goddamn part of you.”
I moan, and just when I feel his hands gravitating toward my ass, a little girl’s voice cuts through the air: “Sowwy to intewupt, but I’m hungwy.”
“Shit!” Cade drops me to my feet instantly and jumps back.
It takes me a second to get my bearings before I turn to see Ruth Jean smiling at us innocently. Thankful that she doesn’t seem bothered by what she just saw, I walk over to her with a smile of my own and bend down. “Well, good morning, Ruth Jean, did you have a good sleep?”
“Yup!” she replies happily, and gives me a quick hug and kiss on the cheek before making her way over to Cade, who is leaning against the kitchen table.
“How about you, big guy?” she asks, grabbing the chair next to him. “Did you sweep good?”
Cade looks down at her grumpily, but there is no denying the small warmth in his eyes that wasn’t there before. “I slept all right, considering I had a kid glued to my chest.”
“Well I had no choice since dere was no woom on de touch,” she replies honestly.
“Well I told you the couch wasn’t big enough.”
“I know dat. And I told you dat I was small. So it’s good dat we both had a good sleep den.”
