by K. C. Lynn
His hands move from my hips, up my back and underneath my hair to cup my face under my jaw. “You were hardly a girl I barely knew.”
“You guys would have done it for a stranger and you know it.”
“You hold us too high, Red. We would have done it because it’s what we were trained to do.”
I shake my head. “No. You were all trained with your hands but not your hearts. It all starts here, Cade.” I continue quietly, placing my hand over his strong and steady heartbeat. “You have to have a good heart before you can be trained to fight for what’s right. And you, Cade Walker, have the most beautiful heart out of anyone I know. Even when you’re moody and brooding,” I add with a smile.
“What the fuck have I said about using that…”
I cut off his protest with a kiss; he’s caught off guard for only a brief second before he ends my control. With a low growl, he tilts my head and demands my mouth hungrily. His tongue licks the seam of my lips, seeking permission, and I happily let him in. We both moan at the first stroke of his tongue. My head becomes clouded and my senses overwhelmed by his taste and scent.
A long minute later, he groans in frustration and breaks the kiss. He rests his forehead on mine as we both try to catch our breaths. “We have to stop right now before I get arrested for indecent exposure in a fucking park full of kids.”
I smile, loving that I affect him like this. Giving him one more kiss on the lips, I sit back down and lean into him as he puts his arm around my shoulder. My heart feeling a peace I haven’t felt in so long.
I thread my fingers through his and look up at him. “I’m glad you came with us today. I’ve missed you this past week,” I tell him truthfully.
As he stares down at me, I wish his aviators weren’t on so I could see his eyes, and maybe catch a glimpse of what he’s thinking. I start to wonder if maybe I should have held that back. I am not exactly sure where we stand and I don’t want him to think I’m pushing.
“I’ve missed you too, Red. Always.” That’s all he says, but he doesn’t need to say more because that one statement means everything right now. I give him a soft smile and press a kiss to the inside of his palm.
“I’ll find something for the kid to do at the gym.”
I sit up. “Really? Are you sure? If you guys don’t have anything I understand and I’ll think of something else. I don’t want you to do it just because I asked. It’s just, I want him to do something he likes, you know? And I think he will like…”
“Red. Take a breath. I’m sure, and we’ll pay him. It’s all good.”
Smiling, I wrap my arms around his neck and give him a big smooch on the cheek. “Thank you. I think he is going to be excited about this. I’ll talk to him tonight over supper. When do you want him to start?”
He doesn’t answer and I suddenly feel him tense under me. I lean back to look at him. “What’s wrong?”
Instead of answering me he quickly stands, hauling me up with him and plants me steadily on my feet. “Ruth Jean, come here!” he demands, his entire demeanor completely cold now. Ruth Jean hops off the swing and makes her way over to us.
“Cade? What is it?” He nods to something behind me. I turn around and my stomach bottoms out when my gaze lands on a guy standing by his motorcycle, watching the park. “Oh my god. Is that Spike?”
Ruth Jean skips up to us happily, not noticing the tension surrounding us. “What is it, big guy?”
He grabs her arm and brings her closer to me. “Stay here.” Before I can ask what he’s going to do he starts across the park.
“Is dat Spite? Why is he hewe?”
At the fear in Ruth Jean’s voice, I reach down and pick her up. “It’s okay, honey. Don’t be scared.” I say this as my own heart is pounding a million miles a minute. When I feel her start to tremble in my arms, I hug her closer, and turn so her back is to them.
Spike smirks at Cade the closer he gets, and then straddles his bike. When he starts it up, Cade picks up speed and starts running unbelievably fast, but not fast enough. Spike raises his hand and points it at Cade like it’s a gun then pretends to pull the trigger. Just before Cade reaches him, he speeds off.
“FUCK!” Cade slows to a stop, his hands linking on top of his head in frustration, while my own stomach churns at what that all just meant.
Turning around, he storms back over to us furiously and takes Ruth Jean from me. “Come on.” He grabs my arm and leads us quickly across the park back toward the gym.
“Why do you think he was here?” A million different reasons run through my head, none of them good.
Instead of answering my question he asks one of his own. “Do you know where Christopher is right now?”
“He was going to the skateboard park with a friend, but he should be home by now.”
“Call the house and make sure he’s there. Tell him to lock the doors and stay put until we get there.”
“Is Twistiphwor in twouble?” Ruth Jean asks, her voice trembling with fear.
Cade rushes to reassure her. “No, kid, he’s fine. I’m just being careful.”
Pulling out my cell, I call Christopher and relay Cade’s orders, which leads to a million questions but I tell him I will explain everything when we got home. Cade makes Ruth Jean and me drive with him to my house and calls Cooper on the way.
Thirty minutes later, Cade, Cooper and I are all in my kitchen while Christopher and Ruth Jean watch TV downstairs. Tension and fury fills the air around us, most of it coming from Cade.
“Fuck that! You know as well as I do he was not fucking there to enjoy the goddamn scenery,” he grinds out quietly to Cooper. I put my hand on his back gently, hoping to calm him. But he doesn’t even notice, he’s too angry.
“I’m not saying that,” Cooper starts calmly. “What I’m saying is I can’t go and arrest him for being in a public park.”
“So what? Since it’s a public place it’s okay he was there just fucking watching them?”
“No, it’s not. Which is why I am going to have Faith put a restraining order against him, for her and both the kids. That way if he comes near them again I will be able to arrest him.”
“A restraining order,” I repeat in surprise. “Can I even do that when he hasn’t done anything to me except be at that park?”
Cooper nods, “Yes. If you feel endangered, and given the circumstances of what happened to Christopher by Spike and his father, I strongly recommend that you do.”
Things are quiet for a minute while I try to absorb everything that is happening. Suddenly a voice cuts in, breaking the silence. “While you’re at it we should put one on my dad too.” We all turn to see Christopher standing at the entrance of the kitchen. He points at the stairs. “She fell asleep.”
I nod and before I can ask him what he meant, Cooper does. “Why do you say we should put one on your father too? Have you seen him around?”
Panic seizes my chest when Christopher nods. “What? When and why didn’t you tell me?”
He shrugs. “I’ve only seen him twice and it was in public. He didn’t do or say anything; he just glared at me like he always does. I honestly thought it was by chance, but now knowing Spike was watching you guys at the park, I guess it probably isn’t. I’m sorry. I wish I would have said something now.”
I feel Cade start to vibrate under my hand, where it still lays on his back. He points at Cooper; “I want twenty-four hour police protection on them until those restraining orders go through.”
Cooper shakes his head. “I don’t have the manpower to do that, or the budget. I will have someone drive by to check on them routinely though and…”
“Bullshit!” I jump as Cade slams his fist on the table.
Before he can continue, Cooper slams his down and gets just as angry. “No, not bullshit. You know how this works, Walker, but you’re letting your emotions screw with your head. I know Tommy the asshole is all bark and no bite. He’s trying to act like a tough guy when in fact he’s nothing but a goddamn coward, which
is why he took off when you came after him.”
“Are you willing to bet their fucking lives on it?”
“No, I’m not, which is why I’m getting her to put a damn restraining order on him and I will be checking on them routinely. But I can’t have someone with all three of them 24/7 and you know it!”
“He’s right, Cade,” I say quietly, before this gets any more out of hand. “He was probably trying to scare us. They haven’t threatened me or the kids. If anything, he seemed more angry at you.”
He looks over at me, and the cold intensity of his eyes causes a shiver to travel down my spine. I swear the whole room drops in temperature. “Remember what happened last time, when someone wanted to get revenge on me when I made them look bad?” Pain and fury flashes in his gaze before he shakes his head. “Never again, Red. You hear me? Never fucking again.”
“This isn’t the same thing. Listen, I…”
“How the hell do you know? You have no idea what they could be capable of.” He pauses, “You know what? Fine. I’ll stay then. I’ll…”
“What are you going to do?” I ask softly. “You have to work. I have things I need to do at the church. The kids have school. You can’t be with all three of us 24/7. We have to live our lives.” He shakes his head, but before he can argue I cup the side of his face, hoping to get through to him. “I know you’re worried but I swear I will protect them.”
“And who’s going to protect you?” he asks quietly.
I smile at him sadly then ignoring everyone else around us, I lean in closer and press a soft kiss to his lips. “I will be fine. I promise to be extra careful, and don’t worry, if anyone even thinks about coming for me, my papa will be on their ass with his shotgun in two seconds stat.” This doesn’t lighten his mood like I hoped it would.
Cooper clears his throat. “It won’t take long for the restraining order and I will speed it up as fast as I can. We will also get one on your dad,” he says, making eye contact with Christopher.
None of this seems to appease Cade.
“Tan I tome in now?” Ruth Jean says, rubbing her eyes tiredly as she enters the kitchen.
I smile at her. “Yes, of course, come on.” I make room for her to come sit with me, but instead she ducks under Cade’s arm and crawls up on his lap. She leans into him and snuggles against his chest.
Cade looks down at her for a long minute, his face expressionless, before he curls his arm around her tiny body and pulls her in close. He stays silent and stares ahead at nothing, but there is no denying the protective hold he has on her. The sight of them together completely melts my heart.
I reach over and put my hand on Ruth Jean’s leg. “Everything is going to be okay. Sheriff Cooper is going to deal with what happened today, and make sure that your dad and Spike can’t come anywhere near you or Christopher. So it’s really important that if you see either of them anywhere, and we aren’t with you, that you tell us right away, okay?”
She nods softly then looks up at Cade, “Awe you gonna stay wif us tonight?” Her eyes are wide and hopeful as she stares up at him and I feel awful that he’s being put in this position.
I’m just about to tell her it isn’t necessary, but before I can speak, he does: “Yeah, kid, I’m staying.”
“You don’t have to do that, Cade. We will be okay,” I reply quietly, feeling guilty.
He looks over at me, his intense, hazel eyes saying so much. “I know I don’t.”
I would argue more but decide to let it go, because, by the look in his eyes, I know it would be pointless. Giving him a soft smile, I drop my forehead on his shoulder while my hand still rests on Ruth Jean’s leg. I pray that what happened today meant nothing. That Cooper is right and this is just a scare tactic from them, because I know I wouldn’t survive it if something happened to one of these kids or Cade, not ever.
CHAPTER 20
Cade
Two days later, I jump down from the sparring ring with my body soaked in sweat and my heart fiercely pounding after going a round with Benson. I walk into the personal change room that belongs only to the three of us and check my cell. Relief swamps me when I see a text from Red, letting me know she and Ruth Jean are out shopping and will be by later.
Knowing Christopher will be here soon to start his first shift, I quickly hop into the shower. And while the steaming, hot water pounds down on my tired body, I think about the last few days.
The restraining order went into effect quickly like Cooper promised, and both of the assholes were served yesterday. There has been no sign of them since the park but I still don’t fucking trust it, and I’m hoping for their sakes that they follow the goddamn order or else I will not hesitate to take shit into my own hands.
I could have left Faith’s last night but I didn’t. Again I spent another night on her couch, only a few feet away from her bedroom with my dick hard and aching for her. But it went limp quick when the kid came and crawled in with me again. Even though I keep telling her there is not enough room for the two of us on that fucking couch, she doesn’t seem to care and insists she is small enough.
I know I shouldn’t spend another night there again. Things are starting to get too intense, too real. The more time I spend with them, the more the kid is getting attached and, if I was being honest, I’m starting to dig her too. Which is not good, but the thought of leaving there—of leaving Red… Shaking my head, I turn off the shower then walk over to my locker.
Jaxson walks in just as I start getting dressed. “Hey.”
“Hey.”
“Benson’s doing pretty good. I thought he was going to hand you your ass there for a minute.”
I grunt, knowing he’s fucking with me. Which is confirmed when I look up to see him smirking in amusement. Benson is good, but not that good.
“So how are things at Faith’s, all is quiet?” he asks, leaning a shoulder against the lockers.
“So far.”
There’s a moment of silence before he says, “You know we have your back if you need us, right? Evans and me—we will follow you if you need to take matters into your own hands.”
I nod, knowing they do have my back; they always have, which is exactly how they ended up spending a week in hell with me. It’s something I still feel like shit about and probably will never forgive myself for.
“Thanks, but I’m hoping it doesn’t come to that.”
He nods and is just about to leave when I call out to stop him. “Hey, can I ask you something?”
He turns, and must be able to see something in my expression because he walks over to sit on the long, wooden bench in front of me. “Sure, what’s up?”
I grab the back of my neck, not sure how to ask him what I want to ask. He waits patiently, clearly reading my discomfort. Sitting at the other end of the bench I look ahead at my locker, instead of him. “What changed your mind?”
“What do you mean?” he asks, confused.
Clearing my throat, I rub my hands on my thighs nervously, feeling like a fucking pussy. I do not like talking about shit, not with anyone, but if anybody knows what I’m feeling it’s Jaxson. I glance over at him. “I mean with Julia. What made you change your mind about finally giving in to what you wanted with her?”
Realization dawns in his expression, knowing where I’m going with this. “Honestly, it was a bunch of things I guess,” he shrugs, probably feeling just as uncomfortable as me. “My problem, for the longest time, was thinking I wasn’t good enough for her, and the truth of the matter is I still don’t, and I know I never will be. But I also know that no one will love her more than I do, and no one will protect her like I will. Fuck if I can tell you why she loves me, but I won’t be an idiot anymore and not accept it. So I just try like hell every day to be worthy of it.” Silence surrounds us while I think about his answer. “Listen, I’m not one to pry, you know that. That’s fucking Evans’ thing.” I grunt in agreement. “But if this is about Faith, which I think it is, then take it from me, Walker. The lon
ger you keep resisting, the more time you are wasting. Time that you can’t get back and time for someone else to step in.”
I drop my head in my hands and grind my teeth. The thought of her with anyone else makes my stomach roll and my blood boil. I think about Doctor fucking sissy and picture him touching her, kissing her, stepping in to help with the kids… I quickly shake myself from my thoughts as violence rushes through me.
Keeping my head in my hands I look over at him. “And what about doing the right thing?”
“Who says it’s wrong?”
I hold his stare and decide to tell him what I’m most worried about. “You saw what I’m capable of, you saw what I did to them. That’s something I’ve always had hidden in me, and something that I don’t always have control over, if I get pushed to the breaking point.” It’s the first time I’ve told this to someone other than Red.
He ponders my admission, his eyes narrowing in question. “What, are you talking about what you did to those fuckers in Iraq?” My response is silence. He shakes his head, “Don’t kid yourself, Walker; Evans and I have that in us too. We all do, and you better fucking believe it would have been one of us to gut those motherfuckers if Faith would have been Julia or Grace. Jesus, I don’t want to even think about what I would have been capable of if our positions were reversed. But that shit we have inside of us—it’s also what made us good at what we did, and you have more control over it than you think you do. I know this because I know you. I’ve seen you at your worst, man, I’ve seen you at your best and I’ve seen you everywhere in between. I fucking trust no one with my kid and I mean no one, but I would trust you and Evans with her.”
I look back down at my feet, not knowing what to say, not knowing what to think. What he says seems to make sense, or maybe I just want it to make sense. Because if there is a chance I could keep Faith, then I want her, more than anything, but it also scares the living shit out of me…
Jesus, I hate feeling so fucking conflicted.
Jaxson stands up and claps me on my scarred back. “Just think about it, man. Really think about it and listen to someone who was in the same place as you were, and know I regret it. If I could go back and claim Julia sooner, I would. You have already lost two years with her, don’t let it be any more.”
