by K'wan
“Satin, you’re right about me having a lady, I won’t lie to you, but it’s not what you think. That chick is way bogus. I used to be so in love with her that I was blind to the bullshit she was pulling on me. As we speak I got somebody following her because she’s been tipping out on me but I haven’t been able to prove it. I gave her everything including my heart but I guess it wasn’t good enough.”
Satin looked at the tears welling up in Lou-Loc’s eyes, and her heart went out to him. She saw so much pain inside him that she had to turn away. Satin knew Lou-Loc was the man she wanted to be with, but she was afraid of getting hurt. “So, now what?” She asked.
“Well, we can wonder what might have been, or we can take a chance on the future, one step at a time.”
“One step at a time?”
“One step at a time.”
The two of them walked from the shop hand in hand talking, and trying to make sense out of life. Neither one of them noticed the young man in the red sweat suit watching their exit.
*
It was about 3am when Martina finally finished her little date. It was just as Lou-Loc had expected, she was tipping. Every time Cross would see them hug or touch each other, he got a thrill. He was going to make this little task as painful as possible.
From the low down Cross had gotten from his associate, Jasper, the man with Martina called himself Mac. He ran a Blood chapter out of Newark. He and Martina had been seeing each other off and on for about three years. Sometimes as a couple, other times they were just fuck buddies. Cross really didn’t know what Martina saw in the guy. He could tell the boy was getting money from the expensive jewelry he was wearing and the nice car he drove, but he had no style what so ever. Even from a few yards away Cross could smell the cheap ass cologne he had bathed in. He wasn’t particularly attractive either. He was short with lumpy brown skin, and chemical waves. He wore gold caps to hide the few teeth in his mouth that were rotten. What caught Cross’ attention was the monstrous ruby that he sported on his left pinky. He could probably fetch quite a few dollars for it on the open market.
Cross waited quietly in the shadows of a door way while Mac kissed Martina, and put her in a taxi. “No sense in tipping the little bitch to the fact that she’s busted,” he thought to himself. Soon the taxi was well away, and Mac was taking a slow stroll back to his car. A stroll he would never get to finish.
Just as Mac reached for his car keys, Cross leapt out of the darkness with a snarl. He could’ve taken Mac without making a sound, but it was more dramatic this way. Cross was a sucker for drama. Mac spun to face what he thought was a stray dog from the sound. He was totally surprised to see a man moving towards him. Mac reached for his gun, but was stopped short by Cross’ vice like grip on his wrist. Cross leaned in and twisted his face into a mask of death.
At the sight of this slobbering thing that was standing not even two feet away from him, Mac pissed his pants. Cross let out a demonic laugh as he tightened his grip and crushed Mac’s wrist. Mac began to whimper, which only excited Cross more. Popping open his switchblade, Cross slashed Mac’s face. The heady aroma of fresh blood sent Cross into a frenzy as he tore savagely at Mac’s already shredded face with his teeth. Mac begged and pleaded for his life, but it was too late. The beast had been let loose, and his life was forfeit.
CHAPTER 12
When Lou-Loc got home, the house was empty. No Martina, no kids. Didn’t really surprise him though, she had been slipping out quite often lately. It seemed like every time he was out for extended periods of time, she would slip away, and come home with a lame excuse.
“Fuck her.” He thought to himself. If she was doing dirt, Cross would find out. Every time Lou-Loc thought of Cross a chill ran down his back. They were good friends but Cross was really out there. Lou-Loc had known some scary cats in his lifetime but Cross made them all seem like choir boys. He was a walking reminder that there really were things that went bump in the night.
Lou-Loc stripped down to his boxers and stood in front of the mirror. He touched the spot where the bullet wound would’ve been if Cross hadn’t intervened. Lou-Loc had saved Cross, and Cross had returned the favor down the line. The score was even, but the two chose to remain friends.
Lou-Loc flopped down on the bed and sighed. The answering machine light read twenty messages. “Lazy bitch couldn’t even clear the machine.” Lou-Loc didn’t care who called, he had some thinking to do, and most of it was about Satin.
From the moment he first saw her, she had been on his mind. At first he thought she might’ve been just a stuck up little chick, but after he had spent time talking to her and getting to know her, he realized he was wrong. She was deeper than he thought possible, and that just made him want her more. Satin was the kinda lady that had ambition. She knew what her goals were, and busted her ass to reach them. She had a deep appreciation for life, and a hell of a lot of class. Satin carried herself like a lady at all times. She hardly swore, and articulated herself very well when she spoke. Satin was one of those women that when she spoke to someone, her voice commanded their undivided attention. She was definitely someone he could learn from.
It was all like a fairy tale to Lou-Loc. They say when you find your soul mate; you know it from your first encounter. Lou-Loc was really beginning to think there was some truth to that. Then his thoughts shifted back to Martina. What if he had been wrong about her tipping? Lou-Loc loved Martina, at least he did at one point, but his feelings for her had begun to die until she announced that she was pregnant. Knowing that he was about to become a father was what kept him around, but he really didn’t want to be there. He could’ve easily broken up with Martina and still did what he had to do for his kid, but the thought of his lil one growing up without a father in the house, like he did, wasn’t something he was comfortable with.
Lou-Loc heard the front door click, and knew Martina was home. He quickly closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep.
*
Martina removed her shoes in the hall and slipped silently in the house. She was still a little tipsy form the bottle of champagne she and Mac had been sipping on. It wasn’t the smartest thing in the world for her to do, being pregnant and all, but she figured, “It’s only champagne, what could it hurt?”
When she went into the bedroom, she saw Lou-Loc stretched across the bed, knocked out. Sometimes she felt bad for creeping on him, but fuck it. Her logic was: “If he was more sensitive to her needs, she wouldn’t have to tip on him.” She cared for Lou-Loc, that was true enough, but the main reason she stayed with him was because the boy was worth paper. Lou-Loc was indeed a hustler’s hustler.
When she had first met Lou-Loc, she already knew who he was because her friends had given her the rundown on the boss player from L.A. Lou-Loc had money, style and on top of all that he was pretty as hell. The word was out that he was the dude to get with so Martina wasted no time in snatching him up, which wasn’t too hard to do. Lou-Loc was a gangster but beneath the bandana he was a sweetheart, who had a soft spot for Spanish pussy. Once she put it on him it was a done deal.
Martina walked to the bed and looked down at Lou-Loc’s sleeping form. She felt kinda bad about her secret rendezvous. Lou-Loc was a lot of things, but to her knowledge, he hadn’t been unfaithful. Sometimes she didn’t understand why she even fucked with Mac. Lou-Loc was better looking, and his paper was just as long, if not longer. The thing with her and Mac was just something that always was. She’d been fucking with him since before Lou-Loc came east. Maybe she would cut Mac off and be true to Lou-Loc. That was a big maybe considering the fact that she wasn’t sure if the baby she was carrying belonged to Mac or Lou-Loc. “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it,” she told herself.
Martina stripped down to her birthday suit and slid into the bed next to her man. She moved her body against his to steal some of his warmth. She loved him so much, yet she just had such a hard time being true with him always being away. Maybe in time, maybe.
*
&
nbsp; Satin got home that evening with mixed feelings about the way the day had gone. First Michael popped back up on the scene then Lou-Loc showed up and took her on one of the best dates she’d ever gone on. If anything the day had been eventful.
Satin removed her clothes and put on her white laced night gown. She flopped on her bed and looked at the purple and yellow book Lou-Loc had bought for her. Every time she thought of him, her underwear got moist. He was so damn fine, and he wanted her as much as she wanted him. Satin was far from stupid, she knew niggaz was good for playing games, but not Lou-Loc. She could tell from the first time he opened his mouth that he was a man of honor. He was truly into her. It wasn’t unusual for a guy to fall head over heels for her, but that was usually lust. With Lou-Loc, it was something much deeper.
Satin had never encountered a man like Lou-Loc. He was so passionate about everything. That was odd for a young man, especially a gangbanger. The thought of his gang affiliation presented Satin with another problem. Even though she didn’t get down with the whole gang thing, she was guilty by association. What would Lou-Loc think if he found out who her brother was?
To her, the whole concept was stupid. Young Blacks and Latinos killing each other over bullshit, colors and property that neither side owned. First it was Michael, and then her youngest brother Jesus. Both had fallen victim to this thing we call street life. Now she had to sit idly by and watch someone else she cared for fall victim. Then there was the fact that he had a girl. Though Lou-Loc claimed he wasn’t feeling her like that, she could tell her still had love for her. That dizzy bitch had a winner on her hands, but still felt it necessary to cock her legs for anybody with a kind word for her. Satin knew how Martina was getting down, but she felt it wasn’t her place to put her mouth in that. The good thing was Lou-Loc was finally starting to get wise to her shit.
Satin felt kinda stupid feeling the way she did about Lou-Loc. Even though he seemed sincere, she knew that nine outta ten niggaz was full of shit. Again she pushed those feelings out of her mind. She kept telling herself that Lou-Loc was the real thing. Every girl dreams about that knight in shining armor, but she had finally found him. As long as Lou-Loc didn’t play himself, they’d be all good.
Satin popped some chamomile tea in the microwave, and lit some scented candles. After her tea was done, she got into bed and tried to relax. Every time she tried to close her eyes she saw Lou-Loc. When she inhaled, she smelled his cologne. When she touched her hand, she still felt his print. Satin had a problem, and she knew it. She was in love.
CHAPTER 13
Lou-Loc was awakened at the crack of dawn by the phone ringing. He was dead tired from the night before, so he decided to let Martina’s lazy ass get it. It was probably for her anyhow. He heard her mumble a groggily “hello” into the receiver. She sucked her teeth, and began to shake him. Fuck could it be calling him this early?
“Who is it?” he asked annoyed.
“Somebody named Tariq.” She replied with attitude.
For a moment, Lou-Loc’s still half asleep brain couldn’t place the name. It was a familiar one, but he wasn’t sure where he knew it from. As the fog began to clear, he recognized who the name belonged to. Tariq was the government of his partner Snake Eyes. “What it is, my nigga?” He asked sitting up right. “Shit, it’s like three something in the morning back home. What gives, homey?”
“Ay, what’s up, cuz?” Snake Eyes replied. “I ain’t home, I’m in New York.”
“New York?” Lou-Loc asked surprised. “Fuck you doing here, and why you ain’t call me to pick you up from the airport? Shit, I would’ve...”
“Man, this ain’t no social call,” Snake Eyes interrupted, “we got a situation. These mutha fuckers hit Gutter.”
Lou-Loc could feel all of the blood drain form his face. He was just with him that afternoon so it had to be some kind of mistake. Gutter couldn’t be dead. Fighting back the tears that were trying to make their way to the surface, Lou-Loc spoke calmly into the phone. “My nigga dead?”
“Nah,” Snake Eyes said exhaling, “he still with us, but it ain’t looking good. He was woke for a while, but they got him all doped up. He was asking for you though. How soon can you get here?”
“I’m leaving as we speak. What hospital y’all in?”
“Where else, nigga, Harlem.”
Lou-Loc let out a slight chuckle, and hung up the phone. Martina was sitting up and looking at Lou-Loc inquisitively. He knew she was wondering what was going on, but he ignored her. Lou-Loc jumped into his clothes in record time, and was breaking for the door.
“Baby,” she called, “what’s wrong, is Gutter okay?”
“Nah,” he said snatching his car keys from the dresser, “the nigga got shot.”
“Oh my God, is he okay?”
“I don’t know yet. I’m going to the hospital now.”
“You want me to go with you?” she asked getting out of bed.
“Nah,” he said waving her back down, “I’m going solo. I’ll call you when I know something, boo. Go back to sleep and don’t worry yourself.” Without waiting for her to protest, as she surely would, he was out the door.
*
Martina sat up in the bed not knowing what to make of the situation. She was worried about Gutter. Even though she and Gutter didn’t always see eye to eye, that was her man’s best friend, so she too had love for him, and wouldn’t wish harm on the brother. It could’ve just as easily been Lou-Loc laid up in the hospital, or even worse the morgue.
With these thoughts in her mind, she began to reflect on the decisions she had forced Lou-Loc to make to support their lifestyle. She began to wonder if having the finer things in life was worth her man’s life, or her sanity. Suddenly the thought of Lou-Loc getting out of the game and living a normal life with her and the kids, didn’t sound like such a bad idea.
*
The hospital wasn’t far from where Lou-Loc lived, so he got there within minutes. He double parked on Lenox and rushed into the emergency room. After some quick questioning, he found out that Gutter was up in ICU, so that’s where he needed to be.
Five minutes and an elevator ride later, Lou-Loc stepped out of the tiny car into the waiting area. Lou-Loc detested hospitals. Ever since he watched his mother wither and die from cancer, they made him uneasy. To Lou-Loc, hospitals stunk of death, a smell he was quite familiar with. Lou-Loc looked around the tiny green room and looked amongst the different faces, people from all walks of life all gathered together for a common causes, sickness and tragedy. He hated coming to hospitals because they always reminded him of his routine visits to see his mother when she fell ill. It was hard for him to watch the cancer eat away at her while he watched helplessly. She suffered so much that in the end he was happy that she passed away because it meant that she wouldn’t have to suffer anymore. After dealing with that he steered clear of hospitals. Even when his homies were laid up he wouldn’t go visit them. Everyone who knew what he had gone through understood and didn’t hold it against him.
Lou-Loc shook off his fears and strutted through the waiting area. After some searching, he spotted his partner Snake Eyes, sitting in a corner chair reading a magazine. Snake Eyes had put on some weight since the last time he saw him and even sprouted facial hair, but for the most part his homie looked the same. When Snake Eyes saw Lou-Loc coming his way, he braced himself on his cane and stood up to greet him.
“What it is, cuz,” Lou-Loc embraced him. “I’m glad to see you; I just wish the circumstances were different.”
“Me too, man. Me too,” Snake Eyes said sadly.
“Snake why didn’t you call and tell me you were coming? I could’ve at least picked up from the airport.”
“It’s all good. I didn’t fly anyhow, I took the train up. You know they don’t let you on no airplanes with these,” he showed him the .380 he had tucked in his pocket.
Lou-Loc smiled and took the seat next to Snake Eyes. “You still rolling wit that raggedy ass gun?”
“Snake, you still putting in work? I thought you was a square peg?”
“Shit, I am, but you know how it is in the hood. Honestly this is the first time I’ve used a gun in a long time. With this bum leg of mine I ain’t really fit to put in no real work so I had been focusing on school and this damn LSAT.”
“How’s that working out for you?” Lou-Loc asked.
“It’s going great, I just passed the bar. I was actually coming up here for an interview with this firm. I’m gonna be practicing law on the East Coast.”
“Sho ya right, cuz,” he said patting Snake Eyes on the back, “I’m going to need a good lawyer at the rate I’m going.”
“Man, don’t talk like that.” Snake Eye’s snapped. “You got a lot going for you, cuz, you just gotta stop jamming ya self with this street shit. It’s like my dad used to tell you, you’re a smart nigga, but you ain’t got no common sense.”
“Yea, I remember. How’s the old man?”
“He a’ight. He semi-retired last year and moved to the Valley. Him and his girl got a nice lil crib and he opened up a consulting firm. They’re doing big things!” Before they could roll into more detail about it, Sharell came out of the back.
Gutter’s lady was a pretty little brown skinned thing with a bright smile and a kind spirit. She was on the thick side, but she wasn’t fat because all her weight was in the right places. As far as personality went she and Gutter were polar opposites. He was a gangster who smoked, drank and operated outside the law, whereas she was a working girl who didn’t do any of that and went to church twice a week. They said that opposites attract and they were proof of that.
