by Jaden Wilkes
“So now I’m an alien?” she laughed again, nervous at his apparent adoration, this revelation.
“Not at all, I’m leaning more towards the angel category. The first time I saw you I wanted to use some cheesy line on you about an angel falling to earth,” he laughed, breaking the moment.
“”Why didn’t you?” she wanted to know.
“Honestly? I worry that you are too good for me, my life is a mess and I would never want to drag somebody as sweet as you into it,” he replied, serious again.
“You’re freaking me out Tyr,” she hated hearing him talk like this. He always seemed aloof, a jerk even, or friendly but reserved. Even when they kissed she never felt like she had all of him. She had never imagined her thought about her this way, or this much at all. “Especially on the first day? Come on, I looked like a Little House reject cast member!”
“You were adorable, when you realized I was waving at Nic, I thought you were going to break into tears. I already told you, I wanted to scoop you up and tell you it’s ok.”
“You can be kind of a dick to me though, you know that right?” she stated.
“I know, and I apologize for that. I have a hard time trusting anyone, letting them in. And you, oh Sarah, if you wiggle your way past my walls, I know I’m lost,” he said, suddenly dead serious.
Sarah didn’t know what to say, she was so overwhelmed by this sudden confession from him and she didn’t quite know if he was being serious. She didn’t have to say a word though, their dinner arrived and the small talk they made with the waitress erased any uneasiness she felt.
As she took a sip of her Coke, Sarah was struck with a pang of guilt. She was sitting here fantasizing about having sex with him and she didn’t even know if he was still dating Tiff. Her Mennonite guilt kicked in, she just had to know the state of their relationship so she said “um...how’s Tiff these days?” She took another drink of Coke so she didn’t add something mean.
“Tiff? I don’t know, why do you ask?” he looked genuinely surprised.
“Just wondering, I haven’t seen much of her these days,” she said, trying to keep her voice neutral.
“Are you getting jealous church girl?” Tyr’s face split into a wide smile. He was smug, she hated that and couldn’t push the issue any farther. Where the fuck is Tiff? Just answer me!
“About as jealous as you were with Adam,” she smiled back, allowing her own smugness to shine through.
“Oh, so really fucking jealous, enraged actually,” he said, raising his eyebrow. “Ok, I’ll put you out of your misery. I don’t know where Tiff is, I never knew where she was. We weren’t dating.”
“It looked like dating to me. You seemed pretty serious.”
“Would I have been kissing you every chance I got if I was serious with another woman?” He was staring at her across the table, his dark eyes in shadowy contrast under the glaring overhead lights in the restaurant. Sarah couldn’t read his expression and she suddenly felt like a mouse in front of a very hungry cat.
“I don’t know Tyr, I don’t know what you’re like when you’re in a relationship. People cheat.”
“Well, I don’t, I never would have done that to you, put you in that position” he said, leaning forward. She could see his eyes now, dark brown and gleaming with...with something, she still couldn’t read him.
“I didn’t know that,” she replied, her voice quiet.
“Tiffany was a friend, and yes, we sometimes had sex, but I never would have gotten serious with her knowing how I feel about you.”
Sarah took another sip of Coke, not trusting herself to speak with her throat dry and clenching tight. “And how do you feel about me?” she managed to squeak out at last.
“I think you know by now,” he said. “Or do you need me to say it? I want you. I don’t know how, and I don’t know where, but I want you and I will have you.”
Sarah gulped and took another sip. She cleared her throat and said “Oh.” Oh yeah, fucking stellar performance Sarah, that’s the gold right there, he’ll get down on one knee and ask you to marry him tonight if you keep up these brilliant one word replies.
Tyr laughed and said “you look like you’re going to run. I don’t mean to scare you. Tiff was, for lack of a better term, a friend with benefits. She and I had an agreement, it was never serious and now I don’t want to see her anymore. I haven’t since well before Christmas.”
“You haven’t? Why not? What did you do for Christmas day then?”
“She broke the rule, she tried to force my hand and guilt me into a relationship. That’s the fastest way to ruin a good thing...trying to make it into something that it isn’t,” he said matter of factly. “As for Christmas, I mentioned that I had to look for my mom. Well, I found her and I spent Christmas day with my aunt and my mother in a shitty rehab facility in Maple Ridge. My mom is on attempt nine hundred and ninety nine of getting clean.”
“Oh wow, that’s awesome though, right? Good for her!” She noted his relationship advice though. File that away for later, don’t push this guy into a relationship or you’ll end up driving him away.
“She’s already using again. You can’t trust her, never trust a junkie,” he said, sounding cold and detached.
Sarah didn’t know what to say, she’d never known a junkie or an addict or an alcoholic as far as she knew. “That’s terrible Tyr, I’m sorry.”
“There you go again, I don’t want your sympathy. I hate it when people do that the moment they find out about my mom. The poor little Indian boy with the junkie momma.” Tyr said, his face going dark. He stretched and flexed his arms, his muscles rippled with the movement and Sarah was once again strangely fascinated.
“I told you, I don’t feel sorry for you like that,” she said, slightly pissed at being categorized with ‘people’. She was different, she really cared for him. Do I? Do I care for him or do I lust for him? “I feel bad that you’ve had to deal with this, that you have to go through things that cause you pain. I do care about you Tyr, and if I could, I would take away everything that forced you to build walls and keep people out. And I’m not just being selfish because I think you’re hot and want to jump you so bad I fucking ache for it.” Oh my god, did I just say that out loud? What is coming over me?
Tyr smiled and said “That is the last thing I would expect to hear from you, but I’m glad you finally admitted it.” He leaned across the table again and said “The truth will set you free Sarah, so tell me the truth.” Sarah swallowed hard and her mind went blank again. And there you go, back into Mennonite mode.
The waitress saved Sarah’s dignity and showed up with the cheque at that moment, and a free bowl of ice cream for Tyr. He had an easy way with people, and the waitress was no exception. She giggled and chatted with him like Sarah didn’t exist. She marveled at how open Tyr was with everyone, on the way out he chatted up the elderly owner and had her giggling and blushing like a schoolgirl. She wondered if this is how he kept people at arm’s length, by being bright and charming in spite of his imposing tattoos and tall stature.
They walked slowly back to the motel, holding hands and talking quietly. Sarah felt an electric thrill at this new level of intimacy with Tyr, she knew something was going to happen and was almost shaking with the anticipation. She didn’t know where this night was leading, but she couldn’t wait to find out.
Tyr opened the door to their room and held it open for her. She strolled in and tried to appear as nonchalant as possible, she didn’t want him to see her trembling.
The door closed with a click and the room fell silent. She could hear the TV from the room next door, where Naomi and Nic were staying and briefly considered checking in on them to escape the crushing anticipation.
She turned to say so to Tyr when he made his move. He brought his hand up and stroked her hair, then her cheek. The bedside lamp was the only light and washed them both with a golden glow. She didn’t move, she had wanted this to happen for so long that she was afraid if she
acknowledged it, the air would pop and she would wake from a dream. He traced her jaw line with the tip of his long finger, she could feel how rough it was and wondered what he did for work. She never had found out. Am I that self-centered? She wondered, am I so self-involved I don’t know basic details about the man I want so desperately?
Her thoughts were cut short when he pulled her close to him, his body enveloping hers, she felt safe within the confines of his strong arms. He kissed the top of her head and ran his hands through her hair, entangling them in the thick locks. He breathed in slowly and she laid her head on his chest. She could feel his heart pounding, a steady rhythm of promise and anticipation. She inhaled his scent and wished she could freeze the moment, spend an eternity in this sweet embrace, unsullied by lust or the physical act of love. He pulled back slightly, leaned down and kissed her, his mouth covering hers, his lips soft and gentle, yet demanding and hungry. She felt like he was claiming ownership of her, the game had changed and she was becoming his. She started to shake again, overcome by the emotion of this simple act. Overwhelmed by the feelings welling up inside of her.
“Are you ok?” Tyr asked. “Am I moving too fast for you?”
“Not at all,” she replied and leaned into him again, feeling his arms around her, steadying her. “I feel like I’m drunk, I’m so wobbly, but let’s keep going. Don’t stop.”
He lifted her up in his arms, she instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist, and he sat in the chair nearest the door. She straddled him, feeling a little heady at being on top, in charge.
“You call the shots, I don’t want to scare you off now that I finally have you here,” he whispered into her ear, caressing her back with the tips of his fingers. “We both know where this is headed, but I want you to feel comfortable. This is for you Sarah, it’s all for you.”
She felt sensuous and wiggled her hips against his. She couldn’t help but compare this experience with her time at Adam’s. There was no need to talk herself into this, she wanted Tyr and she wanted him now, but something slowed her down. She wanted to enjoy this, there was no rush.
She leaned over him, her breasts at his face level, her hair hanging down surrounding the two of them in a fragrant curtain. She heard him swallow hard, and decided to stop torturing him, she leaned down and kissed him again. She nibbled his lip, remembering the response this got previously, and was rewarded with a thrust of his hips. It sent an electric shock through her own pussy, yeah dirty talk, and made her gasp.
She bit his lip with more enthusiasm and wiggled herself against him again, feeling his dick growing harder with each pass. She loved this control, knowing that she was causing him to react this way. She felt powerful, completely the opposite of her encounter with Adam, and it was intoxicating.
She knew Tyr was excited, and she knew he wanted her badly, but she also knew he was respecting the fact that this was only her second time. She imagined with a girl like Tiff he would have torn all her clothes off by now and been thrusting into her writhing body. The image made her hot, but she also worried about going too fast. Adam had destroyed her trust, so she needed to build it up with Tyr. He hadn’t exactly been the most open and honest about his feelings with her either. She felt like they were building something on the foundation of this encounter, so it needed to be perfect.
Against her logic and best intentions to go slowly, her body began to take over. She felt a wave of lust and love and heat wash over her, and she became a woman possessed. She bit Tyr’s lip hard, heard him groan, and almost lost it with the intensity of the moment. She shook her hair and slithered on top of him, like she knew what she was doing. It amazed her how much instinct kicked in when you truly wanted somebody, unlike the awkward fumbling that had occurred with Adam.
“Fuck, you are so hot Sarah, you’re killing me,” he said, his voice ragged. She was grinding herself onto his hardness and could feel the heat radiating from him. He sat up and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her breasts.
“Hold on, we’ll get there,” she whispered, laughing, pushing him back. This is happening, it’s finally happening. She reached down and pulled his shirt off, at last getting a good look at how far the tattoos on his arms went. His chest was a swirling pattern of tribal images, she recognized the raven from northwest coast art, but the other symbols were foreign to her. She loved the symmetrical designs covering his smooth dark skin. She leaned down and tentatively licked him, tracing the line of one tattoo to his nipple, took it in her mouth and nibbled. She felt him tense and thrust against her. She looked at him, his eyes were closed and his face was beautiful in the glow from the lamp. He looked serene and fierce, she shuddered and leaned down to kiss him again.
They stayed like that for a few moments, their tongues joined, their hands exploring each other at last. He rubbed her back and cupped her ass with his large hands, pulling her against his hardness. She needed to feel her skin on his, she took off her shirt and reached around to take off her bra. He said “Let me do this,” and reached up, unclasping it in one swift movement, then slowly pulling it off her shoulders. She crossed her arms under her breasts, hesitated, and uncovered them for him. He tossed the bra aside and stared at her. She felt shy, and squirmed under his assessment. She hoped she was desirable, that she was good enough for him.
He took a deep breath, exhaled slowly and finally said “You are so beautiful, do you know that? You are so perfect, don’t ever cover yourself up.”
“Don’t say that, I’m far from perfect,” she replied, blushing. “For one thing, I blush way too much.”
“I love that about you. Your cheeks go red, you look like a painting, a Waterhouse.” He knows art! Can this man get any better? He brushed her cheek with his hand, then reached down and took a breast in each hand. He rubbed her and teased the nipples. She tingled at the feel of his strong hands on her sensitive skin, these sensations were all so new. He leaned forward and took a nipple in his mouth, it responded to his warm, wet tongue. She gasped and threw her head back, her hair sweeping her back as she swayed with pleasure. She felt sensual and on fire, every nerve responding to his touch. This is happening, I’m not dreaming. She rocked her hips against him, feeling the hard bulge in his jeans jump with eager excitement. I’m doing this to him, he’s mine now.
Tyr wrapped his arms around her, lifted her up and carried her to his bed. She tensed, knowing what was going to happen, and he whispered to her “Do you want to stop?”
She replied “Not at all,” and pulled him down beside her. She closed her eyes and felt him stroking her skin with his fingertips, a languid motion of pure ecstasy. She moaned and pushed her hips upwards, he cupped her mound through her jeans and she could feel him teasing her, pressing his hand through the fabric, rubbing her softness. She was throbbing, pulsing with lust like another person inhabited her body. She never felt this way, not even when masturbating. Guilty, logical Sarah was long gone, and this lustful, horny creature had taken her place.
“Tyr, I need this. I need you. Please?” she gasped as he rubbed her harder. It was overwhelming, all of the feelings she was experiencing, but she needed skin on skin, she needed to feel him all over her body. She thirsted for his touch and felt drunk on the longing.
He unbuttoned her pants, unzipped them and helped her wiggle out of them. He came up towards her, looked her directly in the eyes and said “That’s all I needed to hear.”
There was only the thin fabric of her panties between his fingers and her clit now, his hand continued to explore and rub, driving her crazy. She could feel her pulse in her swollen folds, she thrust her hips up towards his hand, but he held her down. It was his turn to be completely in charge now, and she loved it. She sighed and shook her head back and forth. She reached down and felt his hand remove her panties at last. I’m so glad they’re the pretty undies, she thought, and thank god I trimmed the bush.
She could feel his fingertip slide across her clit, then move towards her entrance. He paused, rubbed her c
lit with his thumb, and pushed his finger inside of her. She cried out and pushed against him, needing to feel more of him deeper and deeper. Some wild woman took control of her body and she flailed and twisted at the end of his hand. He kept his thumb on her clit and moved his forefinger inside of her, pushing against the wall of her vagina. The pressure started to build and she didn’t know what was happening. She’d had orgasms before, but nothing like this.
She visualized herself awash in a great ocean of sensation and desire. She had no control over the direction she was swept, and no matter where she turned, the all-consuming feeling of being on fire, of every nerve alight with pleasure, was there. She knew she was making noise, gasping and calling out his name, but she couldn’t control herself. She thrust her hips against him, pushing and gripping the blanket in her fingers, she was thrashing and whipping her hair around like a woman possessed, but she didn’t care. She just cared about this feeling, this connection to Tyr and the sight of his strong, dark, inked forearm between her legs, his other arm under her ass, holding her in place so he could fuck her with his fingers.
She was hanging by a thread over a canyon of lust, her entire body ceased to move and she couldn’t breathe. She felt him stop thrusting inside of her, and knew he must be watching her face at this moment, but she could still feel the demanding pressure on her clit and didn’t care what she looked like. She was a crazy woman, about to fall down from heights she’d never reached before and didn’t care about anything else in the world beyond her own pleasure and Tyr’s presence inside of her. She shuddered finally, took in a great gasping breath, and fell into it. Her voice cracked and she sobbed his name over and over again, “Tyr, Tyr, Tyr.” It became her mantra, the one bright light in this deep well of lust that would lead her through the other side. She could feel her juices soaking her thighs and ass, and probably the bed, but yet again, she didn’t care.
Her body finally relaxed and she closed her eyes again as he withdrew his fingers and thumb. Her pussy clenched in protest and she shivered in the cool night air. Silence filled the room and she didn’t know where he was all of a sudden, but couldn’t open her eyes to find him.
