by Jaden Wilkes
“They’ve never seen a couple of hot lesbos before,” laughed Naomi, planting a big kiss on Nic’s cheek.
“Come on, let’s go guys,” Sarah said, looked at the two men and grabbed Nic’s arm. “I think they’re getting pissed, can we go before you two start a riot?”
The Jeep was ready to go and they hit the road before noon. It was going to be a long day, made longer by their lack of sleep but Tyr insisted that he was fine to drive. Nic rolled her eyes and said “he does this every time we head home. He says he needs me along and then never lets me drive.”
Tyr smiled, grabbed Sarah’s hand and said “Maybe I just need somebody to keep me up.” She slid over to sit right next to him, put her hand on his knee and smiled.
Tyr pulled out onto the highway and accelerated. Naomi leaned forward from the back seat and said “So, does this mean you won’t be meeting Eric?”
Sarah didn’t know how to respond, she had forgotten all about Eric and had never said a thing to Tyr. She hadn’t been hiding it from him, she just didn’t think it was a big deal. She glanced up at his face and pulled back. He was unreadable, his face a mask of calm. The only thing betraying his anger were his white knuckles as he gripped the steering wheel tightly.
“And who’s Eric?” he asked. She knew he was making an attempt to sound cool and casual.
“He’s this guy my parents want me to meet. It’s no big deal, I was planning on meeting him and then telling them I’m not interested.”
“What do you mean they want you to meet him? Are they arranging your marriage?”
“No, not at all,” Sarah said, then thought about it. It was a sort of arranged marriage, she had never looked at it like that though. “It’s not so much an arrangement as it is a suggestion.”
“It’s highly suggested that she’s married and breeding by the time she’s 20,” Naomi said from the back. Fuck, she’s not helping this. Tyr’s jaw was twitching now.
“It’s not exactly like that, but my parents would like me to be married early. They are worried if I wait too long I won’t be marriageable. And carrying on the family is huge in our culture, it’s like everything really...it’s embarrassing for them to be stuck with a loser daughter who depends on them for the rest of her life. It should be the other way around, right? I should have a family and take care of them.” Sarah chewed on her lower lip, she felt nervous and guilty but didn’t know why. It wasn’t as though she wanted any of this. She couldn’t help her background.
“Think of it like a cattle auction,” Naomi laughed. “Seriously though, girls are paraded around when they are in their early teens, everybody hopes they’ll hit the jackpot and marry their daughter before high school grad so they don’t have to worry about hanging on to an old nag. Personally I think it’s because the older they get, the more likely it is that they’ve had sex. And no guy wants sloppy seconds for his wedding night.”
“Naomi! You make it seem so gross! Some people love these traditions, they’re not that bad actually. There’s almost no divorce in our community, and never any cheating.”
Naomi snorted and said “you really have led a secluded life, I can’t believe you didn’t know about all the affairs going on around you.”
“So how do you feel about all this?” Tyr interrupted. Sarah was grateful, she didn’t want to fight with Naomi. She knew they had different opinions on the Mennonite church, but Sarah loved a lot about her people. She wanted more than was expected of her, but that didn’t mean she was turning her back on the whole culture.
“I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to get married and I don’t want to start popping out kids. I want more, I want to see the world and learn things and meet people,” Sarah explained to him.
He visibly relaxed as he processed what she said. “So you’re not going to ask me to marry you?” he laughed and put his arm around her.
“No,” she replied, smiling. “Not yet.”
He looked down at her quickly, she reassured him with her smile and all seemed ok again.
Naomi wasn’t happy with the conclusion though. “So, what about Eric? What are you going to say to him? You can’t exactly drag Tyr along and tell him ‘oh yeah, I’m fucking this guy so we can’t get married.’ He’ll run right to your parents and they’ll pull you out of school.”
Sarah furrowed her brow. Naomi did have a good point, how was she going to wiggle out of this one. “Any ideas anyone? I’ll take anything,” she said. The three of them went over a list of things they could say, but nothing seemed to be a definitive winner.
“Hey, I have an idea,” Nic spoke up from the back. Sarah turned around and looked at her. “How about Naomi pretends to be you?” Nic continued.
“What do you mean?” Sarah asked, intrigued.
“Well, how about you two go meet Eric, and Naomi pretends to be you, and you pretend to be Naomi? She doesn’t exactly give off ‘marry me and put a baby in me’ vibes. Then Eric can tell your family that he’s not interested, and you’re off the hook!”
“Has he ever seen your picture?” Naomi asked.
“No, he hasn’t...he didn’t even ask what I look like. He’s a good Mennonite boy, remember?” Sarah smiled as the realization that this could work hit her.
She turned to Tyr and hugged his huge bicep. “This is perfect,” she said and leaned her head on him. “He’ll have nothing to report back to mom and dad except that he’s not interested.”
Tyr was quiet for a moment, then finally replied “You’re right, you two could pull this off. Let’s do it.”
Sarah was content, crisis averted and things were going to be ok. I hope he knows I don’t want this, my family is forcing me, she thought. Her concern drifted away as she and Naomi went over everything she and Eric had spoken about. She was grateful they had never discussed anything intimate, or that she had never complained about Tyr to Eric. She would have hated having to explain that in front of her...boyfriend? She wasn’t sure yet what he was, but she knew he’d be pissed if he knew she had been talking dirty to some dude her parents wanted her to marry.
*****
From there the trip went smoothly, the only breaks were for gas or to pee covertly on the side of the road, praying car lights wouldn’t catch you with your pants down around your ankles squatting next to the Jeep. Tyr drove like a demon, speeding past people and eating up the miles of road with robotic precision. Sarah could definitely tell he had done this route more than a few times.
They got into Prince Rupert just after midnight. Nic’s parents were up and they opened the door the moment they pulled up. They were a well dressed professional looking couple, Sarah could see where Nic got her good looks.
“Come in! Come in! We’re so happy to meet you all!” Nic’s mom said, waving them inside. “Tyr, how great to see you. You’re looking happy, how’s school?”
Tyr replied and made small talk with Nic’s mom while her Dad helped Naomi drag in their packs. Sarah noticed Tyr had her backpack in his hand and tried to get his attention. She wanted to stay wherever he was, so she had left it in the Jeep on purpose. Finally there was a break in the conversation and Sarah pulled him aside to stand at the front door.
“You can put that down,” she said, smiling. “I’m going to come with you.”
His face darkened and he looked over her head, fixed his gaze on something behind her.
“What’s wrong? Did I do something?” she asked, concerned by his reaction.
“You can’t come with me, I thought you knew that,” he said, still not looking at her.
She felt the distance between them and it confused her. He handed her the backpack and she took it, feeling its weight pulling her arm down.
“I didn’t know, I assumed I could stay with you after...you know.”
“You can’t, I’m sorry,” he said, finally looking at her. He brushed her cheek with his fingers and continued “It’s just not the right time, it’s awkward. I can’t just bring you back to my grandma’s unannounced.”<
br />
“You mean because I’m white?”
“That’s part of it, there’s a lot to talk about Sarah, but not right now. When we have some time alone I’ll explain it to you, ok? You have to trust me on this one.”
“Do you have a girlfriend up here?” she asked, almost afraid of the answer.
“Not really, but that’s not the problem. The reserve is a different world, and I don’t want you to see what it is until we’ve been together longer. It’s shocking and I don’t want to scare you.”
“What do you mean ‘not really’? You either do or you don’t!” Her voice was getting louder and she didn’t care. Was he running off to some slut he had in Prince Rupert? Is that why he can’t take me home?
“It’s a long story, but I swear to you, that’s not the problem. She’s done, she’s nothing to me now that I’ve met you and I plan on telling her.”
“You mean you haven’t broken up with her?”
“We were never together to break it apart. She’s older, her life is..complicated, there’s no way we would ever be together Sarah. She’d not like you, she’s messy and unpredictable, you are sweet and honest...I love that about you.” He bent down and kissed her, his tongue was cold as it entered her mouth but it soon heated up. She kissed him back and leaned into him, she was powerless to resist him. She forgot her anxiety as soon as his hands grabbed her ass and she ran her hands up his chest.
Somebody cleared their throat and Tyr broke their embrace. It was Nic’s dad.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt but we need to show you your room Sarah, it’s way past our bedtime.”
Sarah blushed and nodded in agreement. He walked back towards the kitchen where they had all gathered and she turned to Tyr.
“So you’re positive I can’t come along?”
“Positive,” he replied, looking over her head again.
“This isn’t finished, you know that, right?” she looked up at him and laid her hands on either side of his face. “Tyr, I care for you and I’m willing to let you have your space, but at some point soon you have to let me in.”
He stared into her eyes, his were unreadable. He was the most frustratingly delicious man she had ever been around, but he was worth the wait. Finally he sighed, caressed her hair and said “I will, I promise. You’re farther than anyone has ever been Sarah, and it scares me. I used to think I preferred to go it solo, but you’ve changed all that. You’re amazing and deserve so much better.”
“Don’t say that Tyr, you know I hate hearing that,” she said, rolling her eyes. “It makes me feel different and I’m tired of being different.”
“You are different, but in a good way. In such a good way,” he looked down, his eyes seemed sadder somehow. “I don’t want to leave you, but I need to do this. Next time I’ll take you, I promise. You can meet my grandmother and my sister, I know they’ll both love you as much as I do”
Too tired to protest, Sarah sighed and nodded her head. She just wanted to curl up and sleep, then deal with everything in the morning. “I’ll text you when I wake up, ok?”
“Sounds good babe, good night,” Tyr kissed her quickly and was gone.
Sarah paused for a moment, why did he always make her feel like this? She knew on some level that he wasn’t being completely open with her, but then his kisses and sweet words make it all disappear. She walked to the kitchen to join the group and find out where she could sleep. She needed sleep, everything would look better in the morning.
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
Sarah fell in love with Prince Rupert. They were visiting during an unseasonably bright and sunny period, but either way she could see herself settling here on the north coast. The ocean shone, the people were friendly, and she loved the history and culture everywhere she turned.
Nic’s parents had taken the day off work to show them around, they were gracious and amusing hosts, filling her in on all the local gossip, like pointing out the grizzled fisherman who had recently been telling tales of the sea monster he’d seen, or the cranky older lady who served them their coffee in the bakery whose husband just ran off with somebody online. Sarah tried her best to enjoy every moment, but the constant nagging worry over Tyr was getting to her. She needed reassurance but he hadn’t texted her back this morning. She was playing it cool though and refused to keep sending him pleading messages asking where he was. She wouldn’t let Naomi or Nic see how much it was bothering her either, and she was resisting the urge to beg Nic’s parents to drive her to Tyr’s house.
They had dinner on the water, the restaurant was amazing, the seafood was fresh and the company was perfect. Sarah tried her best to have fun and join in on the conversation, but kept checking her phone obsessively for a test from Tyr.
They returned to Nic’s home and sat around the kitchen table. Nic’s father startled Sarah when he screeched his chair back, stood up and announced “Who wants to spark up with me?” Nic and Naomi immediately got up, but her mom looked at Sarah.
“Are you going to?” she asked. Sarah shook her head no, still shocked that parents would be part of this. “I’m not going to then, I don’t want you to be the only sane one when we’re all sitting around out of our minds laughing at stupid shit.”
She turned to her husband and added “Go easy on them, we’ve got the adult pot, it’s stronger than they’re used to.” The girls laughed and the three of them went into the backyard.
“You look surprised Sarah,” the older woman said. “I guess with your background you’re not used to seeing parents smoke up, but we enjoy a little relaxation here and there. The key is to not let it take over your life.”
“I don’t know what to say, it never occurred to me that some...um, older people might smoke pot,” she stammered. Fuck, you just called her old. “I don’t mean you’re old, it’s just surprising that’s all. My parents are so stern and single minded, I just can’t even imagine it.” She laughed thinking of her father getting high.
“Well, we do things differently than most. Nic is lucky we haven’t ever really forced our rules or beliefs on her. She might seem a little wild right now, but we think she’ll find her way.”
“She’s cool, I’m just not so much into that kind of stuff,” Sarah replied, feeling completely uncool in the presence of this laid back woman. “Tyr isn’t either,” she added, hoping to sound laid back herself.
“Tyr’s a wise young man, he has been very straight for as long as I’ve known him. You know about his mother, right?” Sarah nodded and Nic’s mom continued, “I think that had a definite impact on Tyr’s views. He doesn’t really drink and doesn’t do anything else, not even cigarettes, did you know that?” Sarah shook her head but she wasn’t surprised.
“How long have you known him?” Sarah asked.
“Since he was 14 and Nic brought him home, this skinny freaked out kid who had been kicked out of his house by his mom’s new boyfriend. I couldn’t say no to that face, he looked so lost,” she smiled at the memory. “We let him live here when he needed to. I think of him as part of our family now.” She looked directly at Sarah and said “I was thrilled to see him with you Sarah, I’ve never seen him with a girl before. We knew he wasn’t exactly a saint, and by the time he was 17 he grew into his height and became an attractive young man. The girls went crazy for him, but he never seemed interested in having a steady girlfriend.”
“He can be prickly at times,” Sarah said, thinking of right now. He was driving her crazy and he wasn’t even here.
Nic’s mom waved her hand. “That’s a total defense mechanism. He’s so obvious it’s almost funny...if you didn’t know how much he’d been hurt by his parents.”
“Parents? Do you know his dad too? He never talks about him.”
“His dad lives in town here, he works at the sawmill. Tyr was five when he moved out…his father is Scandinavian.”
“His dad’s white?” Sarah was shocked, Tyr had never mentioned this.
“Yes, that’s is part of the proble
m. Tyr never felt like he fit in anywhere, he was too Native for the white world and too white for the reservation. I always felt like he needed to find out who he was regardless of his background. When we started designing his tattoos I thought he was figuring it out.”
“You helped design those?”
“Yes, I’m a tattoo artist...I thought Nic would have told you that. She usually tries to get me to ink all her friends.”
“So your husband is a lawyer and you’re a tattoo artist? Can I just say you two must be the coolest parents ever!” Sarah exclaimed.
“Yeah, we get that a lot.”
“I’ve been thinking about getting something, but I can never think of what I’d like to see for the next 80 years or so.”
“It’s a big decision, I’ll help you think about it if you’d like.”
“I would love that!” Sarah felt her phone buzz and snatched it from her pocket, embarrassed at her eager reaction.
It was Eric. Disappointment flooded her face and she thought she was going to cry. She could feel the tears stinging just behind her lids.
“I take it that’s not Tyr?” Nic’s mom looked sad for her, which embarrassed Sarah even more.
“No, it’s a friend,” Sarah answered and tucked her phone away. She could read the text later.
“I know it’s hard to get service up where his grandma lives, that’s probably what’s going on. He cares for you Sarah, don’t let this get you down.”
“I know,” she sighed, “he frustrates me and confuses me though. I wish there was an owner’s manual.”
Nic’s mom laughed and said “Don’t we all for every man?” She looked at Sarah and got serious, “Listen, I don’t know anything about you or the two of you together, but I do know you must be pretty special for him to be kissing you in front of everyone. I don’t know if he’s worth the wait, or if you even want to go that far with him, but just keep in mind that under his tough exterior he’s a kid who’s been hurt, he’s hurting.”
“I keep telling myself that,” Sarah replied although she was grateful for this insight into his mind.
