Four didn't answer. Instead, he put a hand on Eldrin's shoulder, "There's a reason we don't know each others names. Alright? You know why Three is our leader now?"
"No," Eldrin said, "One was killed?" He'd already assumed as much since he hadn't met the previous leader.
Four looked down, "He was caught in a trap by some Lamonte soldiers. They were on a mission to go after an Arinford unit, and they had a very specific list of who would be there. They didn't recognize him as one of them. They didn't understand why he wasn't answering their questions. Why he didn't have the information they wanted.
"They tried to torture it out of him," Four said, "They wanted to know who he was, what he was doing, where he was going, who he was with. I have no doubt if he'd had our names, he would have spilled them. I would have. The things they did to him were beyond repulsive. What they did to you? That was nothing in comparison."
Eldrin paused in his scraping once more to listen.
Four hesitated before going on. His voice had dropped an octave and Eldrin could tell he was working hard to remain passive, "They let him go afterwards and healed him just enough he could walk. They probably wanted to follow him. We found him in a bush. They'd taken out his eyes, and cut every finger at the knuckle. Someone had taken brands to him, searing his flesh to the one on his forehead, his ribcage... one of them had cut off his genitals and--"
"That's enough," Eldrin said. He could feel his stomach tightening, "I get it. Just stop."
"Do you get it?" Four asked. "Because I saw it. They let him go so they could follow him, and we killed each and everyone of them, but we couldn't save One. He died on the ground with foam seeping out of his mouth red, bubbly blood, while convulsing with shit in his pants."
"And that is what Sullivan does to people who don't support him. That's just one example this brutality. There are thousands more. I could tell you more gruesome stories if you want. That's why we don't give our names out. Do you think any of us would be able to go forward if we found that Sullivan had our wives taken, or our children? Our brothers? Our sisters? That they died the same way as One when they couldn't give information abut what we were doing and where we were going?"
Four glared at Eldrin, "Any one of us would suffer the same fate as One did to know that we are preventing more like it, but we are not going to let that happen to people we care about. We don't keep our names and lives a secret because we hate each other, or because we're not friends.
"If you don't like it," Four said with a pause, "Then get up and go. Just go."
Eldrin didn't know what to say. He was quiet for a long moment, his heart beating rapidly in his chest "If I go," he said, "Are you going to shoot me in the back as I leave?"
The silence was thick enough to taste.
After a moment, Eldrin picked up his knife and began skinning hides once more.
As Eldrin started walking around the camp, exercising his legs, Four fell into line beside him, "We could be friends. You need a friend."
Eldrin glanced over at him and shook his head, "I thought this wasn't about friends."
Four shrugged, "It isn't. That doesn't mean you don't need one though."
"Or maybe you need one," Eldrin said with a returned shrug. He kept walking. Three had told him the night before he would be training soon. It didn't matter what his level of strength was. She was never anything but completely serious, so he had decided to put a bit more effort into getting back into shape.
"That could be," Four agreed. He gave Eldrin an almost shy smile, "But that doesn't diminish anything. You a part of something now. May as well enjoy it."
Eldrin nodded, "I realize that now. I appreciate the chance now that I know the other option was death. Why didn't Three kill me?"
Four was silent, considering this as they walked. "I think she still feels guilty over what happened with One. She feels like she should have sone something to prevent it. Like it's her fault somehow."
"What are you talking about?" Eldrin asked, "She wanted to heal him?"
"No," Four said. "But he was seeing Three. They were very personal. Everyone knew he had a wife back home and a kid too, but sometimes you grow attached to the people you're serving with. We reserved judgement. It happens, you know? Anyway, one day they were having a fight about it, I think he felt guilty and wanted to end things. Three never fully explained. But One decided to go hunting. That's when the Lamonte men captured him."
Eldrin frowned but didn't say anything. He took a break to lean against one of the tree stubs in the camp. He couldn't believe how much he was sweating from just the small amount of exercise he'd done. He should have started working harder long before.
"It's not her fault," Four said, "none of us blame her. It could have been anything that sent him out of camp, or any one of us might have left for any number of reasons."
When Eldrin still didn't speak, Four shook his head at him and went on, "So she probably saved your life out of guilt. She couldn't save One, but she could save you. I don't know. I've never been good at understanding symbolism."
"I think it's more believable that she wanted to stick me with you lot," Eldrin said with a roll of his eyes.
Four looked as though Eldrin had slapped him, "Stop thinking of us as the bad guys, Eldrin."
"I don't," Eldrin said. He could feel the color rising in his cheeks and he clenched his jaw tightly. "It was a joke. Lighten up."
"Maybe it was a joke up here," Four said, reaching out to touch Eldrin's forehead with an accusing finger, "and maybe up here you don't see us as the bad guys. But inside, where it counts, your emotions just keep telling you that we're enemies. You'll have to stop feeling like that. Sooner or later."
Eldrin jerked back and shrugged.
"Anger is a good tool," Four said in a quiet voice, "but it shouldn't be your only one."
"I'm not angry," Eldrin hissed out between his teeth, "I'm frustrated. I want to leave. I want to go home. I don't want to be part of this. It isn't me. I'm not made for this sort of work, or this sort of life."
Four put a hand on Eldrin's shoulder, "Why not? You aren't qualified enough? None of us started out qualified. You're in a lot better shape than I was when I signed up. We all start somewhere."
"It's not just about being qualified or fit," Eldrin growled, "I'm just not one of you. I couldn't do things you do out there."
"Weren't you a soldier?" Four asked.
Eldrin nodded, but added in a sour tone, "I didn't belong there either."
"Why'd you sign up?" Four asked, "If you don't belong there, why'd you join the Guard in the first place?"
"I had a friend," Eldrin said. He hesitated, "My best friend. I didn't want her to get hurt out there."
"This is going to help you protect her," Four said with a small smile, "and all of the rest of them too."
Eldrin rolled his eyes, "That's the last thing she needs," he said before taking off again. This time, Four didn't follow.
"So you miss home?" Four asked, sitting down beside Eldrin. It had been a few hours since their walk and discussion and Eldrin had finally given up and sat back down, leaning his back against a tree trunk and staring off at nothing.
When Four spoke, Eldrin let out a sigh, losing his focus, "Don't you?"
Four considered a moment, his head tilted to the side, "I'm not really sure. I've been away for so long."
Eldrin looked over at him, "I've been gone a long time too, and I still miss it."
"You came from Valishna," Four said, "What it was like there? I heard the parades were magnificent when King William would come to the city. It must have been great."
"They were," Eldrin confirmed. "Everyone could cluster out onto he streets and try to see him, or at least cheer him on. You'd see parents with children on their shoulders, laughing, and waving, so they could see better."
Four gave a smile at the thought, "Did your parents do that for you when you were young?"
Eldrin sighed at him, "Look, I don't want to talk abo
ut my parents."
"Why not?" Four asked, picking a blade of grass to twirl between his fingers, "It's good to think bout sometimes. The memories that we care about."
"It feels like another life," Eldrin said after a long moment of silence, "Like a life that some else led. Hey, here's an idea. Let's talk about your family."
Four shrugged. When he spoke, it was in the same light tone that he continued to return to, time and time again but Eldrin thought he could detect a hint of frustration and disappointment this time. "I had an older sister that I loved dearly. My parents worked hard--too hard sometimes--so she spent most of her time watching me. She never seemed to mind though.
"I got along well with all of my family. We were happy. I have no idea where any of them are now, of course. They were part of Teirford. They're probably dead. I keep hoping that maybe they got out in the first round of evacuations or that my sister joined the Arinford Guard and was one of the troops that went back to retrieve Teirford with your lot."
"I could ask," Four said, "You might even know her name. You were part of the group that took the city back over, after all. But I really don't want to know, Eldrin. But that's why I'm doing this. Because of them. That's how I got started, and that's how I'll continue. Protect hem if they're alive, or protect others like them if they're not."
Eldrin rolled his eyes, "That's really sweet. Lay off the waterworks, Four. You don't have to convince me we're doing the right thing out here."
Four was silent for almost a full minute before taking in a deep breath. His words came out forced, "What about you? Any siblings? Brothers? Sisters?"
"That's none of your business," Eldrin said. He stood back up and didn't wait for a reply, walking towards the outer ring of the camp.
"Where are you going?" Four demanded, calling after Eldrin.
"I'm leaving," Eldrin called back, "if you want to kill me, go right on ahead."
When Four said nothing, Eldrin hurried a bit faster. He knew any of the people within the camp could stop him if they wanted to, but nobody tried. He wasn't sure why. Perhaps they didn't want to interfere.
Eldrin knew, as he walked into the trees surrounding the camp, that Four probably hated him. He was trying to be a friend, and Eldrin kept shutting him out.
"I don't have a choice," Eldrin whispered. He wanted to go home. If he stayed with the group, he couldn't do that. He could go home. And he wanted to, so desperately. He had no choice.
Keeping that in mind, Eldrin strode further into the tree, shivering. He suddenly remembered he'd left his small pack in the camp. He had nothing but his knife. On top of that, he could feel the exhaustion from his first full day of exercise catching up to him.
He thought about the camp while he walked, wishing they'd let him leave on his own. He would have liked to say goodbye to Three at least. Even if he didn't like her, he respected her. She'd saved his life. He owed her a goodbye.
Reminding himself that they'd have never let him leave on his own, Eldrin forced himself to stop feeling guilty. Instead, he looked around at his surroundings. It was not yet dark but the sun was starting to set, and the wind was picking up. He could see the leaves in the trees swaying lightly.
It was a dense area but there was plenty of room for him to make his way through the trees. The ground was a hard dirt, covered in different leaves and scattered needles. There was a lot of plant life, and plenty of animal tracks and scat.
"I can trap," Eldrin said out loud, thoughtfully, while he glanced at some of the smaller tracks. He thought he remembered how to make snares.
"You always talk to yourself?"
A dark haired man that Eldrin didn't recognize appeared suddenly in front of him. He had stepped out from behind a tree. Eldrin hadn't noticed him.
"Who are you?" the man asked. His voice was gently but there was no mistaking his intent. He was dressed in a Lamonte uniform, multiple weapons strapped to his body.
Eldrin turned, trying to sprint away. He was already out of breath and knew before the solider slammed into him, that he had no chance of outrunning him.
"You don't want to talk?" the soldier asked, rolling Eldrin over and unlatching his knife from his belt, "That's fine. You'll talk sooner or later and this way it's more fun."
Angry at the man and angry at himself, Eldrin spat in the soldier's face. He was awarded with a backhand. He tried to throw the man off, but found him too strong.
"Who are you?" the man repeated.
Eldrin started to panic. He thought about his last time with Lamonte soldiers. Those ones hadn't give him an opportunity to divulge anything. There hadn't been much to say anyway. This time, he had information that was important.
He thought about the camp full of soldiers. He thought about Four.
Eldrin thought for a moment that he was imagining things when Four's face popped up over the soldier's back.
The man toppled forward, blood splattering down over Eldrin's front. He had a dagger in his neck.
Shoving the man off, Eldrin stood, staring at Four, "How did you find me?"
Without hesitation, Four stepped forward, yanking the dagger out of the soldier. In an instant, he'd stepped around Eldrin, driving him to the ground. He grabbed a handful of Eldrin's hair and placed the dagger to his throat.
"Any time you move, any time you speak," Four said in a soft, dangerous tone in Eldrin's ear, "I can hear you. You're like a child out here. You want to leave? Fine. I'll slit your throat to spare you what the soldiers out there will do to you when they undoubtedly capture you again."
Eldrin said nothing, breathing heavily. His head was swimming from the pain in his shoulder and the immediate threat of death. He closed his eyes.
Four was silent for a moment, pressing the tip of the blade against Eldrin's flesh. Eldrin could feel a small line of blood forming beneath the razored edge, "I wanted to be your friend," Four said after a while. "I wanted to make you feel more comfortable, help you adapt. You have the potential to be something so much larger and better than yourself here, Sheldon Eldrin."
Eldrin licked his lips, trying to keep his voice steady. "I'm not a hero. I'm not like you."
"You don't have to be," Four said, "You don't have to be anyone but yourself! Just stop being so selfish!"
"I," Eldrin started to speak but then stopped. He knew what Four was saying was true. He could feel color blooming his cheeks, and he glanced down at he ground, ashamed.
"Make a choice," Four said finally, "I'm a special ops officer first and foremost and I will not hesitate. You have a chance to do something meaningful and this is the last time I'm offering."
Eldrin thought for a long moment about his life. He thought about the things he'd done and about the things he'd always wanted to do. He thought about Matilyn, and how'd run away. He might have gone back, if he'd had the chance. But he'd still run away, as far away as he could get.
He thought about that, and then thought about the man behind him with the blade, and with sudden clarity, Eldrin realized the choice wasn't just about him. Life was more than who he was.
"I had two younger sisters," Eldrin finally said, "They were twins. I was already a teenager when they were born, but I loved them dearly. I still do. One of them was injured in the escape from Valishna, but I helped save her life."
Four lifted the blade from Eldrin's throat and offered him a hand.
Eldrin took it, pulling himself back to his feet. The two faced each other and then slowly embraced. Four ignored Eldrin's tears.
TWENTY-FIVE
Our Largest Bounty
SERIN APPROACHED MATILYN AS SHE WAS FINISHING her afternoon meal. She offered him a warm smile and scooted over so he could join her on the fallen log she inhabited.
He didn't sit, however. He looked too excited, "Lieutenant, we've spotted the others."
At first, Matilyn didn't know what he was talking about, "The others?"
Serin gestured wildly with his hands, "The others," he repeated, "The other troops. More fro
m Arinford. We found their base. It's got to be the southern forward post. We're not far from it."
"How many hours?" Matilyn asked.
"It took the scouts two hours to get there," Serin said.
"So six for our men," Matilyn said thoughtfully, "Maybe seven. We could make it there tonight if we hurry."
Serin nodded, "I think so too."
"I want you to go find Executor Sweeton and Captain Akins," Matilyn told him. She finished eating her stew while she waited, thoughtfully tapping her fingers against the outer rim.
Sean and Janice approached her after a few minutes, led by Serin.
"What is it?" Janice asked.
Serin looked ready to burst, so Matilyn gestured him on, "Go ahead."
"We found the southern forward post," he told them, "We're only a few hours away from it."
"Two hours for the scouts," Matilyn supplied.
Sean rocked back on his heels and Janice let out a low whistle.
"That's fantastic," she said, "Are we going today?"
"We can make it if we hurry," Matilyn said for the second time, "I think we hurry, don't you? It would do the men some good to get back with the rest of the troops. This is what we've been waiting for."
Sean cleared his throat, "Are we going to fly our colors?"
Matilyn blinked. She hadn't considered that, "What?"
"Our colors," Sean said, "Our Arinford banners. Will we fly them upon approaching?"
"Well," Matilyn said, "We'll have to. We don't want a repeat incident of what happened when we docked the Lamonte ships. We don't want them think we're enemy forces."
"It exposes us," Janice pointed out.
Matilyn nodded, "It does," she said with a sigh, "But it might be a risk we'll have to take."
"What about sending out scouts?" Sean said, "They could fly our colors and go and meet the sentries and the scouts of the post. We'll send a missive with them, with the Arinford seal, so they know we're friendly. Then we don't have to draw attention to ourselves and we don't have to worry about them believing us to be Lamonte."
The Warriors of Valishna (Cartharia Book 1) Page 29
