by J. H. Croix
He forced himself to breathe. He’d reminded himself probably a thousand times that he had no idea if he could ever have a chance with Roxanne again. The miracle that she wasn’t out of his reach needed to be enough now. “I understand.”
She nodded slowly. “Okay.” After a quiet moment, she nodded. “How about we try to be normal? You know, have dinner, catch up, that kind of thing.” A wry smile lifted one corner of her mouth, and his heart gave a hard thump.
“Normal sounds good.”
Their waitress conveniently arrived to deliver their food. Max grinned when Roxanne quickly dug into her meal. She loved to cook and she loved to eat. That meant plenty of amazing meals for him when they were together. Even at seventeen, she’d been well on her way to becoming a phenomenal chef. The Trailhead Café served dinners from casual to more fancy. Roxanne had gone with a creamy fettuccini dish with smoked salmon, while he’d opted for a burger.
Starting to eat snapped the tension lingering from their serious conversation and Max managed to shift it onto more casual terrain. “So how long have you been running the store on your own?”
“Officially about five years. My dad passed away after complications from pneumonia. My mom had a stoke the year before that, so she was already in a nursing home then.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. I bet you miss them,” Max cut in quickly. Roxanne’s family had been tight, so he knew it must’ve been hard for her after they passed.
She caught his eyes for a second before nodding and swirling her fork in the fettuccini. “Thanks. It’s okay. Time is what it is. I was just glad my mom didn’t while away too long in the nursing home. She’d have hated that. She passed within six months of him. Then, it was just me. I suppose I’m technically the one in charge, but Diane runs the front like she did before, and I have plenty of help. But you know what I do. What about you?” she asked with a slight smile.
“I’m an attorney. I was a prosecutor in Virginia, and I took a job here for the county. I start after the holidays. I’d always meant to come back, but I was never sure about the timing because I didn’t want to leave my mother on her own. After she passed away, I started the process of selling her house down there and getting ready to move. The county prosecutor position opened up here, and I took the chance. I’d have come with or without a job, but it made the move easier knowing I had work lined up.”
Roxanne finished chewing and took a sip of wine before looking over at him, a smile stretching across her face. “That’s the perfect job for you! You always loved to make sure things were fair, and you were always investigating one thing after another.”
His smile spread from within. He was pleased beyond measure to have Roxanne think anything like that, not because the details mattered, but because it told him she remembered him and knew him at his core. They sat like that for several long moments, grinning at each other across the table, before their waitress arrived.
“How are we doing here? Need anything?” the waitress asked. She paused and glanced between them, her dark eyes assessing. “Well, the rumors are certainly true,” she commented.
Roxanne glanced up to her. “What do you mean?”
The waitress shrugged, her dark ponytail swinging a little with the motion. “You’re Max Stone, right?” she asked.
At his nod, she continued. “Everyone says you two were totally in love back in the day. You know how it is around here,” she offered, referencing the lore around shifters finding their true mates. Max would’ve guessed she was a shifter solely based on the way she carried herself. “Not everyone finds each other. Anyway, I saw the way you were just looking at each other, and it’s pretty obvious.”
Max held his breath, worried the innocent observation would set Roxanne on edge. She surprised him with a shrug before she took another sip of wine. “Dinner’s delicious, as always,” she finally replied, deflecting quickly from the topic.
He was so relieved she didn’t get defensive at the waitress’s comment that his breath came out in a rush. The waitress glanced between them. “If you don’t need anything else, I’ll bring the check.” At his nod, she started to turn away and then glanced back, her eyes flicking from him to Roxanne. “Don’t let it slip away. Not everyone gets this kind of chance.” At that, she spun around.
Roxanne’s mouth fell open. With her eyes wide, she swung her gaze to him. “Wow, she’s got some nerve. In case you were wondering, the gossip mill here is as bad as it ever was,” she said with a roll of her eyes.
He shrugged. “Catamount wouldn’t be the same without it.”
Roxanne walked beside Max down Main Street. It was early November and the streets had been decorated for the holidays with lights hanging merrily along the streets and homes. Catamount, like so many small towns in New England, was almost postcard perfect during the holidays with its stately old homes, tree lined streets and small parks scattered through town. The town green in the center of town had a stunning Balsam fir that rose tall in the middle of the granite paths crisscrossing the green. The holiday lights glittered on it in the darkness.
Max’s palm rested at her waist. She wasn’t sure when he’d placed it here, but the warmth of his touch seared her. With everything he’d said tonight, it was all she could do not to fling herself into his arms. She wanted so desperately to believe he meant what he said. Yet, the scars from her pain and grief after he left were deep. For over fifteen years, she’d built up the walls around her heart because she couldn’t imagine letting herself be as vulnerable as she had with Max. Not knowing why he hadn’t tried to stay connected after he moved away left her to come to the only conclusion she could at the time—he hadn’t loved her the way she thought he had.
His rejection had cut her to her core. She’d loved him so completely, and she’d regretted it for years. The habits of protection ran deep. Everything he said about why he’d broken it off with her made sense. She needed time to sort through it. She wasn’t even sure she could trust her own heart right now. Perhaps the overwhelming connection she felt to him was only nostalgia and those lingering wishes he’d come back to her. With a mental shake, she brought her mind back to the moment with Max’s hand warm on her back and the chilly air of the impending winter easing the heat inside.
They walked quietly through the night, leaves crunching under their footsteps. When they reached the store, she slid the key into the lock and opened the door. Before she thought about it, she spoke. “Do you want some coffee?”
He nodded, his warm tawny gaze holding hers. Flustered, she gestured for him to follow her. Once he stepped inside, she closed the door behind him. They walked through the darkened aisles in the front of the store. Memories assailed her of so many late evenings here with him, sneaking kisses whenever they could find a moment alone. She pushed through the door to the deli kitchen and headed behind the counter with Max following her. He leaned against the table in the center of the kitchen while she quickly prepped espressos for them. The quiet between them was comfortable and made her want to forget her silly worries.
She slid his mug to him and shimmied her hips onto the table beside him, swinging her legs restlessly once she was seated. A sip of the dark brew she’d prepped gave her a dose of clarity. This was nothing more than coffee with an old boyfriend. She could do this.
Max angled towards her, the low light from the front catching on his mahogany hair. “We’re doing okay with normal,” he said, a smile hooking one corner of his mouth.
In a flash, the air around them heated. Her low belly clenched and her pulse lunged. He set his coffee down and turned more fully to face her. Everything blurred, need sliding through her veins like fire. He moved slowly, as if giving her the opportunity to stop him, but she couldn’t have. She yearned for his touch so deeply, it was a need she couldn’t deny. He lifted a hand and brushed her hair off her shoulder, his hand curling around the nape of her neck. Caught in his gaze of honeyed fire, she couldn’t look away and could barely breathe.
He to
ok a step and stood between her knees. Heat and strength emanated from him. Emotion, longing and pure desire washed through her, suffusing her inside and out. His eyes searched her face. Her breath escaped in a sigh. He angled his head to the side and dropped a kiss at the corner of her brow. From there, he dusted kisses along her cheek and to the edge of her jawline where the feel of his breath against her skin sent shivers racing through her. He made his way to her mouth. By the time his lips reached hers, she was near frantic with need. He teased her with soft kisses and traced her lips with his tongue before he fit his mouth over hers. One bold stroke of his tongue and she moaned into his mouth. She slipped her hands around his waist and tugged him to her, curling her legs around his hips. The moment his hard shaft pressed against her core, their kiss went wild. Licks, strokes, nips and a sensuous tangle of tongues.
Pure need roared through her. It had been so damn long since she’d let herself go with anyone. As long as it had been since she’d last been with Max. She wanted him like she’d never wanted anyone. To have him here, his hands roaming over her and that wild thrumming passion burning her up inside, was almost more than she could bear. As long as it didn’t stop. A tiny voice tried to raise its resistance. The burning need inside shouted it down.
She shoved his jacket off his shoulders and yanked at his shirt. She needed to feel his skin. While she flung his clothes to the floor, he made quick work of hers. She sighed when she stroked a palm over the hard planes of his chest. He cupped her breasts, her name coming out with a groan. She meant to tug him against her, but before she could, he dipped his head and swirled his tongue around a nipple.
She completely forgot what she meant to do and tumbled into a cauldron of sensation. He traced circles around her nipples and lightly pinched them before drawing one and then the other into his mouth. Amidst pants and gasps, she fumbled with his jeans and slid a hand over his briefs to stroke his cock. She savored his groan when he tore his lips from her breast and looked up. His eyes locked with hers, and it was just like she remembered—nothing but the two of them and this wild, intense feeling beating like a drum between them. The connection she had with him was like no other.
Holding her gaze, he curled his hands around her hips and dragged her to the edge of the table. She was drenched with desire, her panties nearly soaked. She lost track of exploring him when he swiftly unbuttoned her jeans and lifted her hips just enough the drag them down. She kicked them free, her heart pounding so hard and fast, she couldn’t think of anything other than finally being as close to him as she needed. He dragged a finger back and forth over the black silk between her legs. Her channel tightened in anticipation.
“Max…don’t wait…” she choked out.
He shoved the silk out of the way and stroked his fingers into her folds. Her hips shifted restlessly. One finger and then another slid inside of her. She closed her eyes, savoring every subtle stroke of his fingers. She was so close, so damn close to release. Her eyes flew open when he dragged his fingers out.
“I have to be inside you when you come.” His words were rough, coming out in between his heaving breath.
She reached for him, shoving his jeans and briefs down around his hips. She started to yank him to her, but he held back, fumbling in his pocket and pulling his wallet out. In seconds, he tore open the foil packet and rolled a condom on. The interruption served only to amp up her need. Frantic, she curled her legs around his hips. He paused, the head of his cock resting at her entrance.
“Roxy, look at me.”
She looked up into his fiery gaze. After a several beats, he sank into her slowly, his eyes on her the entire time. When he was seated fully within her, he held still and stroked a hand through her hair. “I missed you so much,” he whispered.
She nodded, emotion and desire a wild tangle inside. “I missed you too. So much.” The bare truth escaped in the depth of the intimate moment.
Max started to move in slow strokes, driving deeply each time. She gasped at the stretch of him filling her, sweet pleasure curling inside. Again and again, he brought her closer and closer. She toed the edge of her delicious release over and over and over again. He slipped a hand between them and circled it over the center of her desire, and she tumbled over the edge. Her orgasm crashed through her in waves as he tightened against her and cried out roughly, his head whipping back and then falling forward, his forehead resting against hers.
With soft shudders rolling through her, Roxanne slowly relaxed in Max’s embrace. She couldn’t quite believe what had just happened. Even though a part of her was wondering just what the hell she’d gone and done, most of her knew she couldn’t have turned away from this. Her cat most emphatically approved of giving in to the pounding, pulsing desire between her and Max. He slowly lifted his head, and she opened her eyes. His palm slid up her back in a slow pass, coming to rest between her shoulder blades, his thumb stroking idly. Her heart split wide open under his gaze. She swallowed and took a breath.
“I, um… Well, that just happened,” she said, her words raspy.
His eyes searched her face before the corner of his mouth kicked up. “It did,” he said, the low timbre of his voice sending a shiver through her.
7
Max watched Roxy, wishing he could climb inside her mind to see what she was thinking. Her blue eyes were luminous in the faint light. He hadn’t expected this…at all. Yet, when he’d looked at her and seen her glance over, the guarded look in her eyes gone, his primal need had taken control. The moment he kissed her, he was lost. Her skin was warm against him. When she took a breath, her lush breasts rose against his chest and lust jolted him. Again. It wasn’t enough that he’d finally, finally been skin to skin with her. He figured it would be a good long time before his need for her would be slaked.
She held his gaze for several breaths before her eyes fell. She lifted a hand and traced along his collarbone. When she looked up again, she looked resigned. “I didn’t expect this,” she said softly.
“I didn’t either.”
He waited, trying to keep from filling the silence. He knew Roxy didn’t handle pressure well, so no matter how much he wanted to point out that what lay between them was as powerful as it had ever been, he held back.
She bit her lip and let her hand fall. “Well, I suppose it was inevitable.”
“What was inevitable?”
“This,” she replied, gesturing between them. “I don’t know what it means.”
He started to reply, but held back. His lion nearly roared within. The primal side of him knew the plain truth—Roxy was meant to be his and always had. He simply had to wait until she saw the truth as clearly as he did, until she had enough time to believe in him again. It took just about all of his discipline, but he managed to sound reasonable. “To me, it means what it always did. I love you in every way that matters. Fifteen years of missing you piled up inside.” Her eyes widened at his words, but she was quiet. “I can wait until you figure out what it means to you,” he finally said.
Her blue eyes held his for several beats before she nodded. “I just need some time.”
Given that he’d barreled through so many barriers between them, he could be patient even though it strained his willpower.
Roxanne stood alone in the living room upstairs. She spun in a slow circle, her eyes traveling along the tall windows with light spilling through them, following the clean lines of the room with its dark oak flooring and bright white walls. She’d gone through a burst of cleaning a few years back and gotten rid of many of her parents’ old possessions, keeping only a few mementos that mattered to her, along with some of the antiques that had been passed down through generations. After that, she’d ruthlessly cleaned the upper portion of the home that contained her family’s living quarters and the store. She’d needed it to feel like a fresh start even if she was in the very same place she’d been born and raised.
Max’s return was stirring her up in so many ways. She was once again dreaming about a li
fe with him. In the heady days of their young love, they’d hatched fanciful plans of building their own home in a small valley just outside of town. Even though she’d missed him like crazy and had to plow through letting go of her dreams, she hadn’t resented taking over her family’s store and staying in her childhood home. Catamount was home. Her family had been here for centuries and had been one of the founding shifter families. Pride and lore ran deep within her. Her cat rustled inside to think about possibilities again.
It was hard to beat back the hope unfurling within, yet her heart was uncertain. What if Max was only overcome with nostalgia for what once was? How could they even know if their silly young love would ever have gone anywhere? Her heart had felt shredded with pain in the months after he left, and she’d never quite been able to put him behind her. With him here now, overwhelming in the flesh, she could hardly think, much less have a clear idea of how to handle any of it. She closed her eyes and took a breath, remembering the feel of him sheathing himself inside of her. Her pulse skipped and heat slid through her at the memory. She gave her head a shake and opened her eyes.
She needed to get to work. This morning happened to be a late morning for her. Usually she was the first one in the deli, but twice a week she started later to give herself time to work on ordering, accounting and whatever else she needed to catch up on. She’d tossed and turned last night after her interlude with Max in the kitchen. Her mind had tied itself in knots over worry about what it all meant. After she finally fell asleep, her sleep had been interrupted with fevered dreams of him.
