For instance, by insisting that dating one of the guys would be, and I quote, “a little weird,” I may have inadvertently sabotaged any minuscule chance I had of becoming Sam’s girlfriend. Yay me.
“Yeah, probably,” he agrees. But is he agreeing because he thinks that’s what I want to hear, or because he agrees that it would be weird if I dated one of them?
Unfortunately for me, it’s probably the first one. I’ve been told on more than one occasion that guys don’t think like we do. Where we will over-analyze and examine every word, breath, movement, and detail, guys tend to think more along the line. For example, they wouldn’t give a second thought about the same two-worded text message that would send a girl into a massive spiral of panic and excruciating self-doubt.
Of course, Sam is the one whose best friend is totally lying to his face about being in love with him even though he’s told her on multiple occasions that she’s one of the few people that he trusts to always be honest with him.
On the other hand, guys just might have it harder. They have to put up with us.
I guess that awkward answer has effectively ended our conversation about dating since Sam props himself up on his elbows and reaches for the remote control.
“So, what do you want to watch?”
⋯
Note to self. Late night talks about relationships combined with two hours of zombie flicks make for a terrible, and I do meanterrible, night’s sleep.
For one thing, it took me forever to get to sleep because I was obsessing over what I’d said to Sam about how it would be weird to date any of them and how he probably interpreted that (re: I think it would be weird to datehim). For another thing, once I finally did manage to fall asleep, I had zombie and dating nightmares all night.
In the first dream, Sam had asked me out on a date and of course, I’d said yes, but he’d turned into a zombie right as we were about to kiss, so that sucked. Then during the second dream, all of us - the guys, Joni, even Tara - were barricaded inside this small run-down shack in the middle of nowhere. We knew that zombies could be out there anywhere and it wasn’t any sort of the fun that Sam thinks it would be. It was all terrifying. That dream ended with Josh actually turning into a zombie and me having to be the one to kill him. Of course, I didn’t have a gun so I actually had to find a long metal rod to impale his brain with.
Let me tell you, it was really awkward seeing him at breakfast this morning.
Tonight, the guys are performing at a music charity gala to benefit arts and music education across America. It’s something they’re wildly passionate about, even Oliver, who only spent a few years of his education in the American public school system. They all insist that those classes really sparked their interest and inspired them to do well in school. It’s an issue that I’m afraid tends to get overlooked in the grand scheme of things. After all, there are arguably far more important problems to address.
But when you think about it, a nation’s students are its future. The kids of today are tomorrow’s leaders and visionaries. They need a well-rounded education, not a system where making the grade is all that matters. Who cares what they memorize if they’re not actually learning? That’s something that worries me about the decline of the arts in education. Students are treated more like numbers and data instead of young human beings with working, independent minds. That’s why music and art and literature are so important. They remind us of what we can accomplish with a little passion and dedication.
The event tonight is a fancy black-tie affair. All the guys are wearing designer outfits that all probably cost more than my childhood home. Okay, maybe I exaggerate, but even after two years, I still can’t get used to the lifestyle that comes from associating with the rich and famous. That being said, the guys do look pretty amazing. Sam especially. He’s in black skinny slacks, a loose white button down shirt, and a charcoal grey vest. The rest of the guys are dressed somewhat similarly. They have a little say in what they wear to these kinds of things, but a lot of their wardrobe comes directly from their stylists.
Joni and I, on the other hand, have a little more freedom. She’s chosen a traditional little black dress and strappy stilettos that could probably put someone’s eye out if she’s not careful. Joni is actually quite coordinated. I’m the one who has to watch wear she steps. I wouldn’t go all the way to say I’m a klutz, but I have yet to figure out how to walk in heels without looking like a drunk toddler. For that reason, I am in white flats tonight. They go well with the white flowing dress I’m wearing. My hair is tied up in a loose, elegant bun with gold and white headbands. Joni told me that the outfit makes me look like a Greek goddess, which is a pretty awesome compliment.
If I’d had any doubts about Oliver’s crush on Joni, they all melted away after I saw the way his jaw dropped when we met the guys down in the lobby of our hotel. The way he looked at her was adorable, and she’s so completely oblivious. Now that we’re actually here at the benefit, he keeps stealing glances at her. I might have to talk with him about this.
The gala is incredible. There are at least a couple hundred people, all dining on filet mignon, or grilled salmon and scalloped potatoes around candlelit tables. I chose the filet mignon and it might be the best dinner I’ve ever had in my life.
“By the way,” Sam says to me out of nowhere, “you look really beautiful tonight.”
It’s funny how five simple words like that can totally and completely make a person’s day. I hope I don’t look as giddy as I feel. I can definitely feel my cheeks flushing.
“Thank you,” I reply. “You look quite dapper.”
Really, brain? Dapper? Here’s the guy I’ve been in love with for forever sincerely telling me that I look beautiful and I go withdapper? Maybe I really would be better off in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Then I could show my appreciation and affection by stabbing his infected bandmates in the head instead of blurting out the first stupid phrase to come to mind.
Fortunately, Sam grins and adjusts his vest. “Dapper. I like that.”
“Yes, young Samuel, you cut quite the dashing figure,” Josh remarks in a haughty British accent.
Great. Even Josh gives better compliments than I do. And he’s a freaking zombie.
Sam just laughs. “Thank you, Josiah.”
So Josh’s real name isn’tactuallyJosiah. It’s not even Joshua. It’s just Josh. But see, everyone always assumes it’s Joshua, so after having to insist over and over again that his name isn’t Joshua, the guys all began calling him Josiah instead. I’ve actually seen fan websites that list his full name as Josiah Anthony Cahill. At first, it drove him crazy, but now he just throws his head back and laughs with the rest of us.
The only one who doesn’t seem to be enjoying the evening all that much is Cory. Apparently, things got really tense after Sam and I left last night. If there’s anything I can say for the boys of The Kind of September, it’s that they look out for one another. They’re all fiercely loyal and they always band together. I know that the others didn’t like the way that Tara was talking to Sam, but they also didn’t want to make it seem like they were ganging up on Cory or his new girlfriend. Needless to say, Tara isn’t here tonight, but as far as I know, she’s still in the picture.
The good news is I don’t think Cory will stay mad for long. Performing alone will be enough to lift his spirits. Besides, I’ve never known any of the guys to hold a grudge for very long. I know Sam’s already forgotten about last night. I’m sure the other guys have too. And even if he is still upset, he’s going to have to at least pretend he’s over it before they get up in front of the crowd.
As those in the business always say, the show must go on.
CHAPTER 9
“She knows exactly what she wants
She don’t take time to pretend
She knows that all the things you do
Won’t make a difference in the end
She knows exactly what she needs
And it don’t matte
r what you say
If you find another girl like her
Don’t let her get away...”
Song: “Girls Like Her”
Artist: The Kind of September
From the Album:The Kind of September
The new album is coming out in less than a week. Singles have been released. The “This Is Real” music video has been released and has already been viewed by millions of fans online. The guys are in the process of filming a new video for their next single, “Meet Me on the Midway,” which also happens to be the name of the new album. We’ve been shooting at Coney Island, which, let me tell you, might be the most fun thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. The guys are having the time of their lives filming in such an awesome setting.
Well, Jesse was a little antsy about riding the Wonder Wheel. He’s fine with flying and being in tall hotel buildings, but Ferris wheels and other rides make him really fidgety and nauseous. What’s worse is that, because he was so nervous, he had to keep re-shooting the very scenes that scared him. He ended up riding the Wonder Wheel a good four or five times more than his bandmates.
The good news is that he never actually puked. He did have to sit down for a while though after one particularly excruciating take on the roller coaster. If he looks a little green around the gills when the video is released, you’ll know why.
Other than that slight setback and a few girls who were not extras slipping past security and onto the set, today went incredibly smoothly. There’s still a lot of work to be done, but I think this video is going to be even better than the “This Is Real” video.
For now, however, we’re all sitting back, relaxing and celebrating Cory and Joni’s twenty-first birthday. Unfortunately for them, only Oliver is actually old enough to legally drink with them, so we’re not going out. We have, however, had a feast brought in of pizza (yes, we eat a lot of pizza), ice cream, and an enormous birthday cake. Stan also surprised each of them with baskets full of booze, so even though the rest of us are underage, they still get their Congratulations-on-Being-Able-to-Legally-Drink drinks.
When it comes to presents, none of us ever really give anything too extravagant. For example, this year, I got Joni a gift card to her favorite coffee shop and a boatload of I ♥ NY paraphernalia to add to her collection and I got Cory a really nice set of vintage classic rock records. I’ve got to tell you, it’s kind of tricky buying presents for friends who are filthy stinking rich, but the good thing about the guys is that they rarely splurge on everyday items like records. Cars and houses? Yes. But I’m not going to buy any of them a car or a house for their birthday, so it all works out.
Oliver’s gift to Joni, however, is a little overwhelming. He went out and bought her a beautiful topaz birthstone necklace from Tiffany’s. I have no idea how Joni hasn’t figured out that he likes her by now. Want to know what Oliver got me for my last birthday? Socks. Granted, he bought them in England which, you know, was really nice of him. I’m sure it was a huge hassle bringing them all the way back to the States. But come on.
Even Tara’s gift to Cory didn’t measure up to Oliver’s incredible topaz necklace. Yes, Tara is here. Fortunately, she seems to be on her best behavior. True, she and Sam are totally ignoring each other, but if I’m being honest, I prefer it when beautiful girls who are also evil witches ignore him. And vice versa.
In case you’re wondering, Tara got Cory and a gift receipt for a couple’s spa day and a framed photo of her in a bikini. She didn’t get Joni anything. I’m pretty sure the rest of us are silently judging her and thinking she’s a horrible, horrible person, which she is. Interestingly enough, Oliver is the only one willing to give Tara the benefit of the doubt. I’m telling you, he’s too nice for his own good.
“Maybe she doesn’t realize that Joni and Cory are twins,” Oliver reasons with me. Since the cake has been served, we’ve all split off into tiny groups. Sam and Josh are across the room laughing their heads off about something while Jesse is chatting with Tara and Cory, and Joni is out on the balcony with Stan and a few of the other managers. This finally leaves me with a few minutes to talk with Oliver.
“She’s dating the guy. Surely it’s come up.”
“She also gets the two of you mixed up on a regular basis.”
“True. Maybe she thinks we’re twins,” I remark. Oliver chuckles. I’ve never been very good at small talk, so I just come out and say it. “You like Joni, don’t you?”
Oliver looks at me like some kind of strange, terrified, tattooed bird.
“No,” he answers automatically. I raise an eyebrow. He sighs. “I don’t know. Maybe. Not that it matters either way. She’s made it quite clear that she’s not interested in any of us.”
“Well, maybe she would be if she knew how you felt about her.”
“Come on, Mel, you know her. It’s not just us. She’s not interested in dating at all, and I don’t want to force her into anything that she’s not ready for. I’m not sure if that really makes any sense.”
“No, it does,” I told him honestly. “It makes perfect sense.”
He looks at me. “Is that why you haven’t told Sam howyou feel?”
Now it’s my turn to give him the bewildered animal facing their death look. As it turns out, that’s not just an expression. I actually feel like a bewildered animal facing her death.
I laugh nervously. “You think I like Sam?”
“You mean you don’t?”
“Well... I... Um...” I have so many questions bouncing around in my head right now that I can’t quite remember how to make words. Why does he think that? Is it that obvious? Does everybody else know? Does Sam know? Did he ask Oliver to mention it to me? Does Oliver know about the talk Sam and I had that night that Tara came by the hotel and Sam and I slipped out to watch zombie movies?
Oh, God. I can’t handle this. I really can’t.
But Oliver, bless that kid, he seems to know exactly what I’m thinking.
“It’s okay. No one else knows. I mean, I think we all suspect there’s something. But nothing has been said.”
“Okay good,” I finally breathe.
I can’t believe we’re having this conversation. Furthermore, I can’t believe we’re having it whileSam is actually in the room. Fortunately, he and Josh are still in hysterics over something. Those two are hilarious together, and no one on Earth thinks they’re funnier than they do.
“You two are so close. I can’t believe you haven’t told him yet.” Oliver says.
“I - I just don’t want to scare him off, you know? I don’t want to pressure him into anything or make him feel like I’m expecting something from him. He doesn’t need that.”
“I know how you feel,” Oliver says, gazing out the window at Joni.
“Hey!” Sam’s loud voice makes both of us jump. He and Josh are strolling our way across the room. “Why are you two lurking in the corner over here?”
“We’re plotting,” I tell him, all the while secretly praying he didn’t hear a word that Oliver and I just said.
“What are you plotting?” Sam asks.
“Your downfall.”
“As usual.”
“Planning to stab me in the face, Mel?” Josh asks. I knew I shouldn’t have told him about that stupid zombie dream, because now he’s never going to let me forget it. “I always knew you had it out for me.”
“What gave me away?”
“Mostly the way you look at me like the Evil Queen looks at Snow White. Like you want my heart in a box.” Josh grabs his chest like he’s having a heart attack.
“Just so we’re on the same page, you’re Snow White in this scenario?” I ask.
“That’s right,” Josh announces, slinging his arm around Sam’s shoulders. “And Sam here is my Dopey.”
“I thought I was Doc,” Sam says, looking far too disappointed.
“Bro, you are in no way smart enough to be Doc.”
In case you were wondering, that kind of logic is precisely why Josh wi
ns pretty much every debate or argument that happens to arise.
“So what are they discussing out there?” Sam asks, glancing out the window at the group on the balcony.
“I don’t know,” Oliver replies.
“Let’s go find out,” Josh says and barges outside, letting in a rush of frigid wind.
I consider sprinting back to my room for my coat (all I’m wearing right now are jeans and my favorite beige sweater, which is pretty but doesn’t exactly keep me warm) but then I remember that if I look cold enough, then there’s a chance that Sam will notice and wrap his arms around me.
It turns out that the people out on the balcony, also known as the managers, are having a conversation that is so boring, it shouldn’t be allowed on a festive night in a city like this one. New York nights deserve talk of music and lights and everything that makes life extraordinary.
Sam gets it.
“You know, sometimes I still can’t believe that we’re here,” he says to me, leaning against the rail and gazing out at the city, so beautiful that it almost doesn’t seem real. The glow of the city lights illuminates his handsome face, and the brisk, cold breeze toys with his hair. Here, in this moment, he looks more like a star in a music video than he ever has on screen. To me, anyway. “It’s been two years, and I’m still not completely used to it all.”
I don’t have to ask what “it” is.
“I’m not sure it’s something that you ever fully get used to,” I tell him. “It’s still overwhelming to me and I’m not even in the band.”
“You’re still part of the group,” he reminds me. “I bet if you actually made your Twitter account public, you’d have a million followers like that.” He snaps his fingers.
“Maybe.” I doubt it. But then, Joni is up to well over a million. Of course, interacting with fans is part of her job. “I don’t know. I’m kind of happy being invisible.”
Boy Band Page 8
