I stand from my spot on the grass and walk back into the house, walking down the hallway to lie beside the only woman in the world who chases away the dark. Carefully and quietly, I open and close each door, checking on both my children before making my way back into my room.
My heart rests easier in my chest when she comes into sight. Unsure of how long I spent in the darkness of my memories, I find her curled up on my side of the bed, her hand tucked under her chin, like she was waiting for me to come to her.
I move to her side of the bed and slide in between the blankets. I reach for her and wrap myself around her, burying my face in the side of her neck. And just like that, the darkness is gone and the world is right.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Truth Time
Missy
I wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Literally.
Kingston must’ve come back to bed pretty late and felt bad for leaving the way he did, because he’s wrapped tightly around me. The moment fills my senses, and I turn around in his arms, snuggling deeper against him.
My mother always told me there is a time when a woman must choose which battles she will fight right now and which battles she will wait for the timing to be right. I’ve been waiting three years for this one, and last night, the timing was right. I always pictured the argument I’d have with Kingston in my head, the love, the passion, the desperation to bring light to the dark side of him. Never did I imagine how easy it would be to say the words I needed him to hear. Never did I imagine being able to say them and watching him walk out the door completely fine with it. Never did I imagine falling asleep knowing when I woke up the next morning, everything would be alright and my man would be back at my side. I didn’t imagine these things, because last night, the battle was real and Kingston’s darkness was more alive than I could possibly dream.
Watching him go through his nightmare and the aftermath hurt like hell, and knowing there wasn’t anything I could do but sit there and watch it happen broke my heart. His cries woke me instantly. His thrashing told me he was locked away in his mind, and while I debated if waking him was the right move, I knew in my gut this was only the start. The effects of what was happening before my eyes would last for days, which is why the time to fight this battle with him finally came to be. My words were meant to soothe him, and while I knew they barely penetrated the cloud surrounding him, he heard them.
I feel his arms tighten around me in response to my deep snuggle, and I know he’s awake.
“I love you, too,” he whispers gruffly, kissing my bed head. “I’m sorry for walking out—”
“It’s fine. You needed some time, and maybe taking that moment to give you the words wasn’t the most ideal time to do it, but it felt right.”
“It was. I needed to hear them. They pulled me back. Knowing you love me. Knowing you care enough to say them in a moment filled with dread, guilt, and utter darkness…you filled me with light. You always do. I don’t want you to regret telling me the way you did.”
“I love you, Kingston. I always have, even when my heart was broken and I thought I hated you.”
“When I think about all the time we wasted, all the years that have past us by because I was too proud to let you in…I wish I could go back in time and kick my ass for being so fucking stupid.” He sighs, frustrated, against my hair.
“I wish the same thing,” I admit to him. “You know, you never told me why you came back.”
“Truth?”
I shake my head, needing to hear the reasons.
“One afternoon, after spending most of the day literally running away from my problems, my dad tracked me down and laid into me. I spent a lot of my time either running myself to death or completely smashed. He was tired of watching the downward spiral I was stuck in.” He pauses, and I lift my head to look up at him, watching the memories of his time back home flit across his face. “I was filled with guilt and held onto it with both hands, refusing to let it go for anyone, including you. Which is why I ended things with you like I did. I knew if there was anyone who’d keep me from letting the guilt swallow me whole, it would be you. I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t let myself be happy, not when everyone’s life had changed because of my fucking pride. I didn’t deserve anything good.”
“Kingston, that’s the farthest thing from the truth. What happened wasn’t your fault.”
“I know that now. Thanks to my dad and many hours of therapy. The afternoon my dad found me sprawled across some off-the-beaten pathway, caked in mud from the dirt mixing with my sweat, he decided enough was enough. With some coaxing, he managed to convince me to see someone and talk about what was going on. I didn’t want anything to do with it at first, but he understood more than I realized, having gone through something similar with his time in the service. I took his advice, and I went and talked to someone. With time, everything became easier to deal with. The more my mind cleared, the more I realized how badly I fucked up with you and how much I needed you in my life. So, I came back. You were the final piece to the puzzle. The piece I denied myself because I thought I deserved to live in the darkness with no hope.”
“But I didn’t take you back.”
“Yeah, you threw the friendship wall up between us pretty quickly, but I didn’t expect you to take me back. As much as I wanted you to, I didn’t expect you to fall into my arms, ready to forgive me. Simply being near you was enough for me, and as time went on, our friendship grew and the trust came back. I was grateful to have you in my life as a friend.”
“I wanted to fall into your arms that morning, but my heart was too shattered to forgive you. I was angry. Angry that you pushed me away. I wanted to be there for you. I wanted you to let me in,” I lament. “I realize I’ll never understand what you went through over there, but I’ll always be here for you.”
“You’re in now,” he tells me softly, giving me more insight into what we have. He’s right. He has let me in, more now than ever.
“There’s no sense regretting the past when we’re finally facing a beautiful future with one another.” I don’t want to think about the past, not when we have so much more now than we did then.
“You think about our future?” he asks, looking down at me.
“Yes.” I shrug, feeling a blush creep into my cheeks. Kingston moves, pushing me onto my back, then he hovers over me. If the look in his eyes doesn’t answer my question, the crashing of his lips against mine sure does.
Yes, Kingston thought about our future, and if I were a betting girl, I’d say our future was about to get really hot and steamy. It doesn’t matter what drove me to say those three specials words to him, because realizing we are destined for a future together makes up for the past we lost.
*****
Layla and Oliver both pick up their cups filled to the brim with frozen yogurt and candy as the clerk behind the counter announces the total. I smile down at the two happy faces, happy to continue with them the same tradition my brothers and I had with our parents.
“Thank you, Missy,” Layla exclaims excitedly over her mountain of semi-frozen gummy bears. Oliver agrees with a mouthful of Oreo cookies and a hearty shake of his head.
“You’re welcome.” I giggle, scooping my own sweet concoction into my mouth.
“Layla, you and Oliver go pick a spot for us, and we’ll join you in a moment,” Kingston tells her while handing the clerk a twenty-dollar bill to pay for our dessert, ignoring the debit card I’m trying to hand the girl. Layla takes her brother by the hand, and together they pick an empty table across the room.
“I got an email from Hudson this morning. He and Alice will be back late Saturday night,” Kingston says before putting a spoonful in his mouth. We make our way to the table where Layla and Oliver chat amicably with one another. Kingston pulls out my chair, and I sit. He takes the seat next to me, scooting it closer to me.
Ever since our morning of revelations yesterday, it’s like neither one of us can be close enough to th
e other. Quite frankly, I’m enjoying the feeling and wish it will never end.
“Yeah, I know. Alice called me this afternoon. She wants to have dinner with everyone on Sunday night. Apparently, they have some big news to share.” I pick through my own.
“Are we doing it at your house or mine?”
“Mine, of course.” I frown, confused at his question. Our family dinners are always at my house. “I talked to Hudson, too. Sneak told him about us.”
“Shit, I was hoping to do that myself. I didn’t want to do it over the phone.”
“He was happy to hear we finally worked through stuff.” I smile shyly, hiding my eyes from him. My conversation with Hudson went well, but then again, my brother knows better than to question the choices I make for my life. I’m sure the conversation he plans to have with Kingston will go down differently.
“You know, everyone’s going to have to get used to having our Sunday dinners at my house after you move in,” he states, and I look up at him, straight in the eyes. I freeze, feeling the surprise of his point. I look over to Layla and Oliver, who are thankfully still chatting with one another, unaware of what is being said around them.
“Move in?” I ask, my voice a hoarse whisper. It’s not an obscure idea, but it isn’t something I’ve thought about.” Don’t you think it’s too soon to be talking about moving in with each other?”
“No. I already told you, I’m in this for the long haul. There is no reason we shouldn’t live together. I love you. You love me. You know how Layla and Oliver feel about us being together.”
“Yes, but we’ve only been together for a few weeks.”
“We’ve spent the last three years denying ourselves the love we’ve had for one another. I don’t want to spend another moment away from you. I want you in my house, in my bed, in my life. I want it permanently. And since I know you won’t agree to marry me any time soon, living together will have to do until you see things my way.”
“See things your way?”
“Yes. I’d have a ring on your finger already if I had things my way.”
“Kingston,” I gasp, but the idea of his ring on my finger is more appealing than he’ll ever know.
“Hi, Missy,” a familiar voice interrupts the moment, pulling my attention from the man who has made it his mission to blow my mind any chance he gets.
I blink up at the familiar face smiling down at me, but my mind is too muddled with other thoughts to connect a name to it. I can’t stop thinking about walking down the aisle, pledging myself to the man who owns my heart.
I blink and shake my head, finally able to pull myself back into the present moment.
“Hi, Nolan,” I try to respond kindly, but it feels robotic.
“I’m sorry, am I interrupting?” Nolan asks. The smile on his face wavers as he looks at the people surrounding me.
“No, you’re fine.” I shake my head again, clearing the fantasy currently conjured in my head to focus on the man in front of me. “How are you doing?”
“I’m doing well,” he says, once again smiling. He shifts on his feet, turning to Kingston and offering his hand. “Hi, I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Nolan, a friend of Missy’s.”
“Kingston Cole,” Kingston replies, taking Nolan’s hand and shaking it. “Wait, you’re the kid Missy helped save a couple of years back, yeah?”
“I am.” Nolan’s eyes flick between Kingston and me for a moment, but I notice a blush creep into his cheeks.
“He’s not a kid anymore.” I laugh lightly, hoping Nolan doesn’t attempt to cross any line with me like he’s done the last few times we’ve seen each other. It’s odd that we both live in such a small town but before tonight, I’ve only ever seen him in the emergency room faking some illness. “How’s your mom doing? It’s been a while since I’ve seen her.”
“She’s doing well.” He steps back and places his hands in his front pockets, assessing the situation in front of him. Layla and Oliver have stopped their chatter and sit looking up at him.” I should be going. I’m sorry to intrude on your family time. I just saw you and wanted to stop by to say hello.”
“That’s nice of you, Nolan, thank you,” I say, thinking about the last time I saw him. I was very blunt with him about where we stood, and while he’s maintained a respectful distance since then, seeing him here tonight puts me a little on edge. “You have a great night.”
“You too.” He gives me a friendly nod before facing Kinston. “It was nice meeting you.”
“You too, Nolan.” Kingston also gives Nolan a friendly nod, and the young man turns and walks away.
“Who was that, Daddy?” Oliver asks, his dessert missing from his cup, some of it smeared across his face.
“A friend of Missy’s,” he tells his son. “Ollie, come on, let’s go wash our hands and clean up.”
Kingston stands, following his son to the restroom.
“Did you really help save his life?” Layla asks me, her dessert also missing from its cup. How they ate their sweets so fast without catching brain freeze leaves me in awe.
“No, sweetie, all I did was hope and pray he pulled through.”
“Still, you were his nurse?”
“One of many.”
“Then you helped him. You saved his life.” She cocks her head to the side, waiting for me to argue, but instead I lift my spoon to my lips, finishing up the last bit of my banana yogurt. Because, honestly, I don’t see the harm in letting one little girl believe there are still good people in the world.
Chapter Thirty
The Problem with Ex Wives
Kingston
I’m halfway through a mountain of updates when my interoffice phone rings. I glance over at the clock, trying to remember if I have any pending clients today. I don’t have any on my personal calendar, but sometimes I forget to add them.
“Annabelle, is everything okay?” I pick up the receiver and set aside the manila folder I was reading through. She never calls me this way unless she’s trying to be professional about something.
“Yes, it’s just, you have a visitor, and I’m not sure if you’re going to want to see her,” she informs me curtly.
“Who is it?”
“It’s Tatum, and she said it’s important.”
Fuck, I curse silently. She’s the last person I expected. In fact, I’m a little shocked the police have released her from custody. I was sure they would keep her locked up, given the charges against her. I think about telling Annabelle to send her away or to call the police, but I know better. Tatum will come back tomorrow and keep doing so until I see her.
“Send her in,” I clip before hanging up the phone. I try mentally preparing myself for this visit, but it’s no use. There is no telling what state of mind Tatum’s in, and if she’s learned of her fate with our children, she’s likely pissed. It was my choice to have both Layla and Oliver legally placed into my custody, and with my connections, I made it happen fast. Taking away her legal rights as their mother was the judge’s decision and the icing on the cake.
After a quiet knock on my office door, it opens and closes with the same soft force. Not the usual Tatum fashion. I look up at the woman who’s standing quietly in front of me, and I stutter. She’s nothing like the woman I once pledged my life to. She’s skin and bones. Her eyes are downcast, focused on the carpet at her feet. Completely unlike the Tatum I know.
“Kingston,” she says. Her voice is meek and submissive. When she finally looks up, I can’t help but take in her red-rimmed blue eyes, large, dark circles surrounding them. Slightly puffy like she’s spent some time crying. “I’m sorry for just showing up, but I need to talk to you, and I know if I told you I was coming, you’d make sure you weren’t here.”
I lean back in my chair, a little afraid to speak because the words coming from her mouth are foreign to my ears. This is unlike her in every way. Maybe she’s playing a new kind of game, one to gain my sympathy? Honestly, it wouldn’t be the first time she’s tried to cha
nge the game, but there is something about the way she stands in front of me, completely defeated, that gives me pause.
“I don’t have anything to say to you.” I watch her flinch from the impact of my words and the disdain behind them. For a brief moment, I almost care because I see the depth they cut her cross her face, and then I remind myself of the state my children have been living in and who’s responsible for it. Whatever sympathy I felt for her seconds ago quickly disappears.
“I deserve that,” she admits before taking a breath and looking away. “But I’m not here to fight with you, King.”
“Why are you here, then?”
She swallows hard, taking another deep breath before opening her mouth. Only nothing comes out. I notice how tightly she’s clenched her hands in front of her. Her usually perfect manicure has disappeared; instead, her nails are chewed down to the quick.
Withdrawals, perhaps?
Her eyes shoot to mine, and I realize I’ve spoken out loud.
“I haven’t used in three days,” she explains, but her voice comes out like a squeak.
“You expect me to believe that?” She nods, already knowing I wouldn’t, and looks away again, but not before I see the shame buried deep in her eyes. “I don’t know what you want from me, Tatum, but you shouldn’t be here.”
“Are they okay?” she asks, her voice a whisper. I blink, because for a moment I’m not sure if I understood her. But I know I did.
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“I know you think I have no right to ask about them, but—”
“You’re right. You don’t have the right to ask about them. I made sure of it when I gained full custody of them, while you sat in a fucking jail cell tweaked out of your mind. Frankly, I can’t believe you have the fucking balls to come here after everything.”
“I fucked up, but—”
Lost Without You (The Lost Series Book 2) Page 17
