by Abbi Glines
“I can start a new life,” she said, nodding firmly, with determination in her voice. A life where I was no longer in it, unable to hurt her anymore.
We make certain choices in life because we have to. Others are made on a whim. And the rest, if we’re fortunate enough, we think those through, taking our time to decide. I’m not sure which one of these scenarios made me close the distance between us, bring our bodies a breath away from one another, and cup her face in my hands. That face I’d never forget. The one I saw every night when I closed my eyes and stayed with me throughout the day. I thought of nothing else as I lowered my mouth to hers, capturing it with a kiss. I’d longed for this moment for what seemed like forever. I wanted her in my arms again, her body pressed against mine like this, and with a desperate moan, our kiss quickly escalated to a burning frenzy.
Her hands slid under my shirt, soft palms caressing my skin. I could hear my own voice in my head telling myself this had to stop, but no part of my body was listening. I couldn’t force myself to do it even if I wanted to. She was leaving, moving on and I’d soon become a memory for her. That was all I knew. Maybe this was desperation, a futile echo of two people who’d loved each other deeply and were forced to let it all go. Nothing mattered to me in this moment—the past, present or future—because right now, with the moonlight playing on her face, a heavenly host surrounding this place where we’d spent so many carefree nights in the arms of the other, there was nothing but Dixie and me. If I had to choose a long life or this one last embrace with her, I’d choose this moment time and time again.
Dixie Monroe
THE ACHE I felt for Asher to touch more of me battled with the trembling from being in his arms again. I couldn’t get close enough. His hands moved down my arms and squeezed my waist, Asher’s tongue sliding over mine as every nerve in my body came alive. My hands gripped his back, desperate to get closer and make sure there wasn’t any space between us, not an inch.
Asher grabbed my bottom and jerked me up against him. His hardness pressed into my stomach. I could feel the throb of his erection, my panties dampening even more. He lifted me gently, up and down, his pelvis rubbing against me. Asher’s fingers bit into the flesh where my shorts had ridden up. I made noises I didn’t know I was making, moving a hand to the front of his jeans to feel his bulge in my hand, the thickness of him in my palm causing him to lower me and my feet to touch the ground again. Terrified that this was over, that whatever control he had lost had come back, I began to open my mouth. But before I could say anything, Asher grabbed my shirt and ripped it over my head, his dark, hungry gaze locked on every inch of my body. “Take off your shorts,” he demanded, discarding his own shirt, and already working the buttons of his jeans.
He watched me as I lowered my shorts. They fell on the grass beneath our feet, his eyes following their descent. “Panties, too,” he ordered and I quickly tugged them to the ground. We stood there naked, Asher’s eyes devouring my flesh.
I wanted his hands on me, his mouth, his body inside mine. “Asher,” I began to plead.
“I want to kiss and lick every inch of your body. I want to take all night with you. But I need to be inside you, Dixie, right now,” he said before I could add anything else.
I stepped closer to him and placed a hand on his chest. Tilting back my head, I stared into his eyes. I was no longer the same girl he once held and loved in this very place. I was older, stronger. I wanted everything from him, and I was not afraid to ask. “Fuck me, Asher,” I said.
His eyes blazed, his hand firmly grabbing my hair, but with enough gentleness not to hurt me. “You want me to fuck you?” he asked, the heat in his eyes turning into molten fire.
“I want to still feel you in me tomorrow. I want each step I take to remind me that you were inside me.”
“Jesus,” he hoarsely whispered. He then spun me around by a handful of my hair, his other palm landing firmly on my butt, the sudden smack ringing through the air. I squealed from the shock and pleasure. “You like that?” he asked, doing it again.
“Yes,” I replied breathlessly.
His hand kept smacking my butt, each slap stinging more than the one before it, my thighs beginning to feel the wetness between them. When he stopped, he put a knee between my legs and aggressively pushed them apart. His fingers searched for my wetness, a single digit climbing to the pulse of my clit. I cried out, my body bucking. He twisted, then pinched the quivering bundle of nerves, growling in my ear, “You’re soaking wet from your spanking. You like it when I play rough.”
“Yes,” I panted, “I like it all.”
Trapped in his arms, we moved us to his truck. He jerked open the passenger door and all but threw me on the worn seat, before covering me and opening my legs, both his hands prying them apart. I was desperate to have him inside me. I wanted anything he could give me. I’d let him do whatever he wanted.
“Tell me to fuck you again,” he said, his eyes lifting to mine, their color even darker now.
“Fuck me,” I replied without hesitation.
With one hard move, he pushed his length deep inside me. We both cried out as I clawed at his back, needing him to stay there. “God, that’s tight,” he breathed.
“I want to be sore tomorrow,” I said again.
“This pussy is mine. And by the time I’m done with this pussy, you’ll remember me for days.”
He gently slid from my body until the tip was almost freed, before he pounded into me again. He grabbed my hair and tilted my head back, our eyes locked on each other. With each plunge and firm rock of his hips, we remained unable to look away, needing that closeness.
“This face,” he said as he slammed into me, “always this face. It’s all I see.”
Tears stung my eyes. There was so much he was saying in just those few unguarded words.
“Is this what you wanted?” he asked as he brought my body closer to its release. “Am I fucking you hard enough?”
“Yes,” my breaths were shallow, my orgasm so close it was hard to keep my eyes from closing in ecstasy.
“You’re so goddamn wet. Turns you on, doesn’t it, to be spanked and fucked this hard?”
“Just by you,” was all I knew how to say.
He growled, satisfaction rumbling deep in his chest, and then began moving faster, his breaths quick and heavy. “I want to fuck you forever. Be right here inside you until the earth stands still. Nothing is as good as this.”
I clawed at his arms, the first tremors of my orgasm taking hold. Moving in like a warm tide inside me. My mouth fell open in a cry, but my eyes stayed on him. I wanted Asher to see what he did for me, how being with him was the only pleasure I ever wanted. As I felt apart in his arms, shuddering and chanting his name, my knees pressed into his ribs, arching higher and higher to feel him as deeply as I could. Asher then freed his own release, bathing my thighs and stomach. He didn’t look away, groaning my name through the shudders that caused his body to jerk.
I sat up and wrapped my arms around his waist. He’d regret this now. I knew him well enough to expect that. Before he could do that, I needed him to hold me one last time. His arms enveloped my frame and we stayed like that longer than I’d hoped. And when he finally pulled back, I didn’t need to look into his eyes to know it was all over.
“I’ve never felt that connected to anyone. Never will,” he said, his honesty surprising me. “I can’t . . . not now . . . not with Steel the way he is. Dixie, there can’t be more than this.”
I replying tenderly, “I know.”
He closed his eyes and rested his forehead on mine, “I love you, Dixie Monroe.”
This was when I should have told him the same. But I’d already done that, and it’d changed nothing between us. I said instead, “I come here most nights.”
He stilled. I waited as he thought that through. He then replied, “Not sure I can resist that.”
“Good. I’m glad you can’t.”
I wanted more of this. If it was all w
e could have, I was okay with that. My body was still humming from the pleasure, the addictive experience of having sex with Asher feeling like a pain killing narcotic.
He then added, “If we do that, I’m afraid I won’t know how to stop.”
“Good. I’m glad you can’t resist me,” I teased.
He laughed, his arms tightening around me. “I’d have probably cracked before now if you’d told me to fuck you like that. My dick has never been that hard. The sound of your sweet voice asking me that . . . it’s a damn miracle I didn’t throw you on the grass and gone at it right there like an animal.”
“Next time, maybe try that. I’ll even get on all fours for you.” I knew I was taunting him. But the image of him behind me made my tender spots begin to tingle again.
“Dix, don’t say shit like that after the pounding I just gave you. You’re gonna be sore and all I can think about is doing it over and over.”
I wanted him to think about me all day tomorrow. To be as crazed with lust as I would be by the time he got here. I let my hands fall as I sat back, “You’re right. I need to get home.”
He sighed, got out of the truck, before reaching for my hand to help me out. His gaze shifted to my body where he’d released all over me, while my eyes traveled to his penis which was once again hard and erect.
“I’ll clean you up,” he said, finding his shirt where he’d tossed it in the grass. I stood and let him wipe me down, knowing he wanted more. I was leaving Asher Sutton wanting me.
“Get dressed,” he said, his tone sharp. I turned away before he caught me smiling. I took my time, looking over my shoulder, always finding him watching me.
“I’ll see you later,” I told him, heading for the path that wound up to my house.
“That’s it? Not even a goodnight kiss?”
I stopped and flashed Asher a big teasing grin, “If there’s a kiss goodnight, I’ll most likely beg you to fuck me from behind.”
He ran his hand through his hair and exhaled. Blew a long breath into the darkness, “Dixie Monroe, you’re gonna kill me.”
“Night, Asher,” was all I said. I hurried along the path, letting myself fully absorb the reality of what we’d decided to do. What we had was no longer a fairytale. It would end and I’d be destroyed once more. But for now, Asher was mine. A small part of him belonged to me again. A part I could feel and touch, and that had to be enough.
Asher Sutton
I WASN’T SURE if, in the light of day, I’d end up regretting last night with Dixie. I knew Steel would be hurt if he found out. After yesterday and the way he’d yelled at me, I knew he’d be furious. It would most probably go to fists, with me just blocking his punches. I couldn’t hit Steel, I wouldn’t hurt him that way, too. Too much pain had been shared between the three of us already.
It was different yet the same with Bray, Brent and Scarlet. They had all hurt each other because what one of them had with her was stronger than what the other could ever have. They’d lied. They’d cheated. We hadn’t done that to one another, only our hearts had.
I’d been selfless for years, ever since I found those damn letters. I’d made sure to protect everyone while I broke into a million pieces. That was over. The truth was out. Dixie had ended it with Steel. Why did I have to keep pushing her away? How was that fair to anybody? I hadn’t dropped her and then decided I wanted her back just because my brother was with her. Hell, Steel hadn’t even asked me how I felt about him dating Dixie. He kept it from me for a year. He’d not once considered how I felt. And when the truth finally came out, he didn’t even care about how it affected me. He was only worried about himself and his relationship with Dixie. I would’ve never fucking done the same to him. We were brothers, but we were all so different.
Since dad had died, I’d been the one to make sure the others were okay. They relied on me, expected me to be there for them, but now, we were all fucking grown men. It was my turn to make a decision that would put my happiness first. I couldn’t imagine my life without Dixie in it. Even when I’d tried, her face had always been there, following me into my dreams. We’d lost three years, both been hurt and scarred, but maybe we could find a way to heal together.
Dixie deserved more from me. She wanted me to fight for her, to choose her over others, something I didn’t understand at first, but now I did more than ever before. I loved my brothers, but they weren’t little boys anymore. I didn’t always have to put their needs and wants first—we were all adults now, or almost.
Steel was hurting and I had to give him time. Once his anger had run its course and he was ready to listen, I’d talk to him about Dixie, which was more than he’d done for me. If he’d asked me beforehand, I’d have never allowed him to start a relationship with her only because of the letters, not because I did not want them to be happy. But now, things had changed and the happiness of the only woman I’d ever loved was at stake. It was time for me to put Dixie first.
As I exited the attic and walked down the hall, I heard Bray and Dallas laughing in the kitchen. I hadn’t expected Bray to be up, much less laughing. He’d stayed away for days, kept his distance, but now he seemed to be acting normal again. He hadn’t faced Brent yet, though. We all knew that was coming. We’d all been waiting. I doubted Brent or Steel had made it home already. If they had, they’d still be hungover in bed until Momma banged a pot with a spoon in their room to wake them up. Or a glass of ice water would be thrown in their faces like she’d done so many times before.
“Y’all sure are in good moods this early,” I said, heading straight for the coffee on the counter. I didn’t want to make a big deal of Bray’s being out of his room.
“Norton adopted a wild mustang. You should see that thing twist and buck. It’s feral. Crazy as hell.” Dallas replied, as if this was a good reason to be so happy in the morning.
Bray spoke then. “They’re gonna break him. Attempt to break him. But I’ll believe it when I see it. I already told Norton I ain’t getting on the thing. That bastard will put your dick in the dirt.”
I figured that was a sound decision. “Reckon it’d be dumb to try. Never seen a wild mustang, but I hear they can be dangerous. Not meant for joy riding.”
Dallas leaned back in his chair. Tucking a strand of dark hair behind his left ear, he said, “I ain’t scared of no bronco.”
“That’s ‘cause you’re still a stupid little shit,” Bray replied with a smirk.
“I’m bigger than you,” he shot back.
“You’re bigger than all of us,” I added. “But that bronco is larger than you, though apparently not your ego.”
His grin grew, ignoring the second part of what I said. “Yeah. Ain’t that a bitch. Momma also loves me best.”
Bray rolled his eyes, replying, “You’re the baby. Poor woman ain’t got no choice.”
Dallas wasn’t upset about that at all. Shrugging, he unfolded his frame to stand, reaching for the cowboy hat on the chair beside him. “And I’m the handsomest.”
“Then why do they all want to suck my dick?” Bray added.
Dallas barked with laughter. “Damn, it’s good to have you back.”
I had to agree with him. The darkness in his eyes told me he wasn’t completely back. But I’d watch him closely until he was.
“You working today?” Bray asked me.
“Yeah, I am,” I replied.
“When are you heading back to Florida? Don’t y’all have to start workouts and practice soon?”
I wasn’t sure I was going back. I didn’t want to say that yet. Momma would be disappointed if I didn’t go back, get my diploma, so I said, “Next month we’ll begin.”
Dallas took a long swig from the gallon of milk, then looked at me. “You really gonna stay that long?”
“I need to make sure Momma is taking her medicine regularly.”
Bray snorted. “And that Dixie is okay. Don’t deny it. You’re afraid to leave until you’re sure she’s fine.”
I wasn’t going to
deny it. “That’s true,” I replied honestly.
Dallas was staring at me. I could see the surprise in his expression, but I didn’t comment any further. Momma came walking in the door with a basket of eggs on her arm. “If you just drank directly from that gallon of milk, I’m gonna tan your hide.”
Dallas shook his head, looking all innocent. “No, Momma, I was just getting it out to pour me a glass.”
“After he took a long swig, that is,” Bray offered, taking the eggs from momma.
Dallas glared at Bray who couldn’t care less.
“Don’t none of us want your backwash, boy,” Momma scolded, her frown remaining in place as she went to the stove to get the lard and flour, getting everything ready to start preparing breakfast.
“That heifer’s gonna have her baby this week. She’s got the look. It’s about time. I was sure she’d have that calf in May. Need to move her to the small ring,” she said. That was meant for all, but Bray nodded.
“Yeah, I noticed. I’ll get Dallas out there with me and we’ll take care of it.”
Momma stopped and put her hand on Bray’s cheek. “You good? Worried me sick. Ain’t no girl worth that.”
He nodded but his eyes betrayed him. She seemed appeased so she dropped her hand to get back to cooking.
“Neither of them other two came home last night. This ain’t a boarding house. If they aren’t here in the next hour, they’ll be sleeping with that heifer for a week.”
Dallas looked at me apologetically. “Dixie broke up with Steel. He’s struggling. Brent stayed with him.”
Momma stopped and turned to me. She didn’t say anything at first. I was ready to defend myself. It wasn’t fair that everyone blamed me for what Steel was going through.
She just said, “Guess that was coming. Good thing. She didn’t love him right.”
That’s all she said. We went on to discuss what needed to be done on the farm until we ate and then left for work.
