Finding Forever

by Christina C Jones

  I smiled, holding up a finger to interrupt him. “B, three years ago you cornered me in the bulk bins at a Whole Foods and asked me — very eloquently, so I give you credit for that— to let you give me oral sex. I hardly think you need to ask my permission to be bold.”

  He cupped a hand over his face as he chuckled. “Come on, TK, why you gotta bring that up? I can’t try to be a better man? I’ve grown from that point.”

  “Have you?”

  “I have.” He at me for a moment before he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, then leaned slightly in my direction with a lowered voice. “You know… that offer still stands if yo—”

  “Brandon!”

  He held his hands up in defeat. “Okay, okay. I should probably get back to my point, huh?”

  “You should,” I nodded.

  Instead of saying anything, there on the beach, in front of the fire, with fireworks from a distant show decorating the sky, Brandon kissed me. It was a wonderfully romantic setting, Brandon was gorgeous, and it was actually a nice kiss, but… he just…

  Isn’t Avery.

  “Now,” Brandon said, grimacing as he pulled away, “I’ve been waiting like eight years to get up enough courage to do that, and I just knew I was gonna blow you away, but you are looking at me like you got kissed by a cousin.”

  “Oh! B, no, it’s not like that. I’m sorry if—”

  “Don’t apologize. You’re not the one who gave somebody a bad kiss.”

  I shook my head, placing a hand on his shoulder as I laughed. “It’s not like that either. It’s just…”

  “You’ve already got a little boyfriend, huh?”

  “Little?”

  “Any guy with a woman I want will always be her lil’ boyfriend to me. Not her man, her lil’ boyfriend,” Brandon insisted, barely holding back a laugh.

  “You’re a dang fool, you know that?” I asked, giggling as I took a sip from my water. “No, I don’t have either of those, but I’m… getting over something, and I’m not prepared to embark on anything of a romantic or sexual nature right now.”

  He nodded, slowly. “Meaning… someone has your heart, but he’s not yours.”

  I lifted an eyebrow at him. “Yes.”

  “Say it ain’t so, TK. You’re not out here robbing women for their men, are you?”

  “No!” I scoffed. “I am completely respectful of the fact he has a girlfriend, and I would never try to insert myself into someone’s relationship! Like I said, I’m just still getting over it. Until then, I can’t get involved with someone new. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.”

  A triumphant grin spread over his face. “Well that puts me in the clear then, I’m not new. We’ve been flirting back and forth for almost ten years, Beautiful.”

  “B, you know that’s not what I meant,” I said, laughing. “By someone new, I mean—”

  “Someone who isn’t him?”

  I nodded, and even though disappointment showed in his eyes, he smiled. “I guess I can understand that. So you’re hoping you can get back together?”

  “Well, we were never together, so it wouldn’t be getting back together anyway, but still… no, I wouldn’t say I hope so. It’s more like… it’s complicated.”

  “Complicated enough that I don’t have a chance?”

  I shook my head. “Sorry. I hope you’re not mad?”

  He shrugged. “Nah, not mad. You didn’t ask me to take it upon myself to kiss you unexpectedly, you know? I mean, yeah, I want something a little more than a friendly relationship with you, TK, but we do have that. I’m not so much of an asshole I can’t take getting turned down in stride. Hell, you’ve been doing it for years, I’m used to it. I’m still your friend.”

  “I appreciate that, B,” I said, dropping my head onto Brandon’s shoulder.

  “Alright now, don’t get too close. My hand might slip and grab a little something, sin—”

  “If you don’t get your hands off my ass, I’m gonna—”

  “Oh, shit, look at time.” Brandon chuckled as he pulled away from me to glance at his watch. “On a serious note…why have we never gotten together? You know you want me, girl.”

  I turned to him to make sure he saw my exaggerated eye roll before I answered. “Well, there’s the little matter of distance, but the biggest thing is that I know you like to keep several women in rotation, and I’m not trying to get my ass kicked by whoever I replace. You remember the time I went bowling with you, Renee, and Eric, and the girl at the shoe rental counter threatened to kill me over you?”

  “Why are you always bringing up the past, damn! Besides, that girl asked me what was up with you the next night.”

  “What was up with me?”

  “You know… what was up with you.”

  I gasped. “Brandon! See, this is why I never went there with you!”

  “I’m a changed man! Maybe we’ll catch each other again next year?”

  “Maybe so, B.”

  “And perhaps…” he leaned down, “You’ll be over your something by then.”

  Smiling, I gave him another little nod. “Perhaps.”

  “So then… possibly… you’ll take me up on that offer I made in the bulk bins that day.”

  I grinned, then winked. “Possibly.”

  His eyes went wide. “TK…. don’t be surprised now when I’m waiting for you at Ren and Eric’s house next year, and I’m gonna ask you one question, ‘are you over it?’. If the answer is yes, that ass is mine, right there in the doorway. As a matter of fact, wear a dress, no panties.”

  “B, ugh! I’ll be coming from the airport, fresh off a flight! That’s nasty!”

  He shrugged. “I like it nasty.”

  We both froze, with horrified expressions as soon as those words passed his lips.

  “Brandon Jensen, that was just—”

  “Too far in the name of a joke, I know. I’m disgusted with my damn self,” he admitted, barely finishing before he broke into laughter, and I followed suit.

  A few seconds later, I was wiping tears of laughter from my yes. “I can’t believe you said that, that was so gross.”

  He shook his head, still trying to catch his breath. “Yeah… now, I’ll admit to liking some pretty nasty stuff, but everything needs to be clean.”

  “Mmhmm. So you say now.”

  “Don’t do me like that,” he laughed, pulling me into another hug. “It’s good seeing you, Tori.”

  “You too, Brandon.”

  I relaxed against him as the fireworks ended, and stayed that way long after they were done, talking, laughing, and flirting, just as we always did. At the end of the night, before I climbed into the car, he pulled me aside to place a soft, lingering kiss at the corner of my mouth.

  “I’m serious,” he said, catching my eyes with his. “Same time next year, I’m gonna ask you. And I’m not talking about what I asked you in the bins, I mean… for real.”

  “B, I don’t wanna give you any false hope. I don’t know what’s gonna happen between now and then.”

  “Neither do I. It wouldn’t be giving me false hope, either. You do your thing, I’ll do mine, and if it lines up next time… we’re going for it. Okay?”

  I laughed, then wrapped my arms around him for a last hug. “Okay, Brandon. Next time.”

  — Avery —

  “Who was that on the phone?”

  I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of Maya’s disembodied voice carrying through the dark as I stepped back into the bedroom. “I thought you were asleep. Did I wake you?”

  “No. Answer the question,” she said, bathing the room in light as she turned on the bedside lamp. My initial reaction was to point out that she was making demands to know what was happening on my cell phone, in my home, but I tamped that down. The last thing I felt like doing was arguing with her tonight. We’d been doing enough of that lately. For the last few weeks, since I’d been accused of “smothering” her, Maya had been hot and cold. A few hours ago was hot,
and the first time we’d had sex in weeks. Now, she was icy again.

  I ignored the frustrated snort Maya gave as I bypassed the bed, going instead to the bathroom. It didn’t surprise me at all when she appeared in the doorway, drumming her fingers impatiently against the frame as she waited on me to finish. “It was Drew. Des is in labor.”

  She stared at me for a moment, until my words fully registered. “Oh. Okay.” Then she yawned. She yawned. “Wake me up when you get our flights and stuff scheduled.”

  “Our?”

  “Uh, yeah… I’m coming too, right?”

  “Well you don’t care enough to help make travel arrangements, so I didn’t think you were interested. Don’t you have something to do around the restaurant or something anyway?” I didn’t want her around Des at what was supposed to be a happy time with her bullshit. I wanted to be around my family, without my concern for her moods dragging me down.

  “No, I took this week off because it was one of the few where you weren’t claiming to be busy. But I guess it’s going to waste now, since yet again, it’s time for you to get on a plane.”

  “Oh, my bad, Maya. Sorry my niece decided to come early and wreck your plans to spend a week being mad at me for God knows what.”

  Damn.

  I should have shut the hell up, and woke her when I booked the flights, because now, her bottom lip was trembling, and I really didn’t feel like dealing with tears.

  “Maya… don’t do that. I didn’t mean to snap at you, okay? I have a lot on my mind right now. I’m worried about my sister and the baby because it’s a few weeks early, and I need to call the charter company so we can get there, and I need to call Tori, and I ne—”

  “Why do you need to call Tori?” she asked, eyes narrowed as she crossed her arms. It was as if she flipped a switch, from hurt feelings to anger — at what, I have no idea— in less than a second.

  I raised an eyebrow at her. “Because that’s my sister’s best friend, and my niece’s godmother. Drew couldn’t get in touch with her, so he asked me to try calling her too. Besides, I’m gonna see if I can get use of the jet, and she might want to tag along instead of getting a plane ticket.”

  Maya’s nostrils flared, and she frowned as she stared me down. “Is that why you don’t want me to come along? So you can be on a private jet with Tori?”

  What?

  Tori wasn’t that high on my list of favorite people right now. She was the reason Maya and this nonsense she’d brought with her out of the blue were even in my life. Maybe Tori shouldn’t be a damned matchmaker, because this was crazy. I told myself I would give it my all, and try to make it work with Maya, but she was making it hard.

  “Maya, I’m not about to do this shit right now. My sister is asking for me, and she’s asking for her best friend. I’m going to do what I can to make that happen. If you want to cut the bullshit and tag along, that’s fine. If you don’t… that’s fine too, and I’ll see you in a few days.”

  — & —

  “You look good holding a baby.”

  Tori smiled, but kept her eyes on baby Madison’s sweet little chubby brown face. “Hello, Avery.”

  “Hello yourself.”

  She looked at me as I sat down beside her, taking up the remaining space on the tiny loveseat-glider combo in Madison’s nursery. Warmth spread over me as I draped my arm behind her, across the back of the loveseat. I wasn’t touching her, but I was damn sure close, and already, the fine hairs on my arms were standing up in response. I was annoyed with her— or was supposed to be— but as soon as I saw her, it was forgotten.

  “I can’t believe I missed the birth. Stupid phone completely died on me while I was San Diego. I only knew Des was in labor because you called Mel. Thank you for that, by the way. I’m glad all I had to do was change my flight.”

  I shrugged. “Des was asking about you, so I had to get in touch. You may have missed the birth, but I’m sure she appreciates you being here, helping with baby duty.”

  “Yeah, it’s the least I can do since I wasn’t there for her. So how have you been?” she asked, turning slightly so her legs were angled toward me. “How does it feel to be an uncle?”

  “Uhh… I’ll have to get back with you on how it feels to be an uncle. She doesn’t seem very interested in me right now, and I’m not sure what to do.”

  Tori laughed, adjusting the angle of the bottle of expressed breast milk Madison was drinking. “I don’t think she’s very interested in anyone who doesn’t have boobs, a bottle, or both. She’s got a pretty one-track mind right now.”

  “Yeah, I kinda picked up on that. As far as how I’ve been, I can’t complain too much. Signed a big deal for Ignition, so that was exciting. It put us in four new states, opened franchise possibilities… like I said, it was big.”

  I wasn’t bragging, but my heart swelled with pride at the smile that spread across her face. “That’s amazing, Avery! Congratulations. I know your dad would be so proud of how far you’ve taken what he started.” Damn, my chest felt tight. This was pretty much the total opposite of the reaction I’d gotten from Maya.

  I had to get the spotlight off myself, so I shifted it to her. “Thank you. What about you? I heard from Des you closed Matched.”

  “Yeah,” she nodded, taking the now empty bottle from Madison, and placing her over her shoulder to burp. “It was time to move on, and I actually feel good about the decision, still. And the company that bought my system cut me a very fat check, so that helps.”

  I laughed. “Yeah, I bet it does. So what are you gonna do now?”

  “I’m not quite sure. I’ve been thinking about it, and my mind keeps going back to a speed-dating thing Mel dragged me to. With the right adjustments, speed dating could be a great place to meet potential partners. But not just speed dating, other singles events as well. I’m still thinking about it though.”

  “But it sounds like a good start.”

  Just then, the baby left out a loud burp, and when Tori lifted her from her shoulder to cradle her, she promptly fell asleep in her arms. Tori stood, and placed her into her bassinet, which she had pulled in front of the loveseat for easy access.

  “Speaking of dating though… how are things between you and Maya?” she asked hesitantly as she relaxed back onto the loveseat, her tone sounding a little too controlled, and falsely light.

  Why does she want to know about Maya and me. Not like she gave a shit about my feelings when she— never mind.

  I pushed out a little sigh before I answered. “They’re… going. We’re in a little rough patch right now, but I’m sure it’ll smooth over.”

  “Yeah, probably so. I’m sure you two will be okay.” Her smile was reassuring, but didn’t quite bring any light to her eyes.

  What is that about?

  I shrugged, then shook my head as changed the subject from one thing I didn’t want to think about… to another thing I didn’t want to think about. “What about you? Anybody… special in your life now?”

  “No.” I hoped she didn’t notice, but my shoulders sagged with relief at the sound of one little two-letter word. “I’m working on starting fresh. I didn’t really do that, after the divorce, but I’m working on it now. I sold my business, traveled a little bit… I put my house on the market a few weeks ago, and as soon as it sells, I’m moving to something smaller, alone.”

  “No more living with Melanie?”

  She grinned. “Yep. She was never there anyway, and it makes more sense for both of us to be closer into the city. And honestly, I’m tired of all of the work and upkeep.”

  “Ah, so you’re a girl who prefers not to change her own light bulbs after all,” I laughed, remembering our conversation in her garage. It felt like forever ago, but it was still vividly present in my mind.

  “Indeed,” she said, giggling.

  She shivered in response when I went from almost touching me to doing it, burying my hand in what I’d discovered was one of my favorite places: the curls at the base of h
er neck. I had no idea what compelled me to do it, but it seemed like an abomination to be so close to her and not touch her. She didn’t move away, even though we both knew she should. Instead, she relaxed into it with a little sigh that sent heat rocketing to my groin.

  “You seem happy,” I said, grazing my fingers along her scalp.

  “Because I am.”

  I nodded, keeping my eyes on her as I smiled. “Wild, sexy, and free. That’s how I like to remember you. None of that stuffiness you put on when you’re trying to be in control, or not do the ‘wrong’ thing. Just Tori. Like you were that night at the beach, and on our ‘not a dates’, and in Chicago. None of the bullshit, just you. Wild, sexy, and free. That’s how you look right now and damn, you’re beautiful.”

  She was so beautiful, even with her eyes puffy from helping Des with long nights with the baby, no makeup, with her hair all over the place, and just a tee shirt… she was gorgeous.

  I moved closer, and suddenly my lips were on hers. Then my tongue was persuading them open, asking to be allowed inside. When she obliged, I deepened the kiss with a hunger that snatched my breath away, and I was drowning, fast, but I didn’t care. I would die happy today, with handfuls of my shirt bunched in Tori’s fists to pull me closer, and keep me from going away.

  Then, Madison reminded us she was there. Her wailing cry filled the room, and Tori pulled away, taking a deep breath before she stood to retrieve her from her bassinet. While she gently bounced the baby in her arms to soothe her cries, I took the time to compose myself before standing to approach her, with one hand shoved deep in my pocket, the other massaging the back of my neck.

  “I should probably….” I inclined my head toward the open door.

  She gave me a little smile. “Probably so, since it appears we… can’t keep our lips to ourselves.” She lifted baby Madison up, pretending to speak to her. “Madi, tell him you didn’t like that. Say that’s why I started crying, Uncle Avery, I didn’t like that.”

  I laughed, shaking my head at her silliness. “It was good to see you, Tori. Really good to see you.”

  “It was good to see you too.”

  She sucked in a breath as I approached her, enveloping her and baby Madi in my arms. When I pulled back, I placed a kiss on Madi’s forehead, and then a lingering one on Tori’s. I was pulling away when I heard Maya and Des’ voices in the hall, and I quickly put an appropriate distance between Tori and I. When they appeared in the doorway, Maya looked … perturbed, as she had the entire time we’d been in Chicago for this visit that I wished I had left her ass at home for, and Des looked giddy. She was leveling a knowing smirk between Tori and I, and I shrugged, then left to be chewed out by Maya. She didn’t know it, but at least this time I’d actually done something.