by David Moody
And nothing mattered but the two of them. Nothing mattered but the sex.
He sat astride her and she took him deep and hard.
16
Word spread fast about Scott. But then again, word spread fast about everything in Thussock. Tammy and Phoebe didn’t go to school and Michelle didn’t take George to toddler group. She spent the morning pacing around the kitchen, waiting for the phone to ring. The routine had been as familiar and frightening for her as it had for Scott; the endless waiting for news, the complete helplessness. The police had been as vague and unhelpful as expected. ‘Stay at home, Mrs Griffiths,’ was all they told her. ‘We can’t give you any information. We’ll contact you as soon as we’ve anything to tell you.’ A couple of phone calls with the lawyer they’d assigned to represent Scott followed, and Jackie called Michelle once the news reached her, but that was it. The gravity of the situation was undoubted, the outcome uncertain.
But as the day progressed, a strange sense of normality began to prevail. An engineer arrived to install a satellite dish and connect the TV. Michelle hadn’t even known Scott had arranged it. He never told her anything. Sometimes she felt like she hardly knew him.
By seven o’clock, frayed tempers and nerves had begun to repair. Tammy, Phoebe and George sat with their mother in the living room watching TV, catching up with the channels they’d missed. The doorbell rang and Michelle was out of her seat in a heartbeat, guts immediately churning again. It was Jackie, and she didn’t know how that made her feel. She was equally relieved and disappointed. ‘Come on in, Jackie,’ she said.
‘Only if you’re sure. I didn’t know whether to come round or not.’
Michelle eyed up the bottle of wine she’d brought with her. ‘You should definitely have come.’
After introducing her to the girls, Michelle took Jackie into the kitchen. The TV noise drifting through the house made everything feel deceptively normal. ‘Dez was in town yesterday afternoon,’ Jackie said. ‘He said Graham was acting weird. It’s not his fault, but that fella’s never been quite right, you know?’
‘I know, but that doesn’t mean he deserved to...’ She didn’t finish her sentence. Couldn’t finish it. Jackie put her hand on Michelle’s and topped up her already generous glass of wine. ‘You not drinking?’ Michelle asked.
‘I’m driving. Anyway, I bought this for you. Figured you’d be the one in need of alcohol.’
‘It’s appreciated. I can’t tell you how much.’
‘Like I said, love, I know where you’re at.’ Jackie watched Michelle, not knowing what she should say, or even if she should say anything at all. The building site state of the kitchen was a convenient distraction. ‘That’s quite a hole you have in your wall there.’
Michelle laughed into her wine glass. ‘That’s Scott for you. Impulsive. Selfish.’
‘And is there a plan, or did he just feel like putting the wall through?’
‘Oh, there’s a plan okay. It’s his plan, though. All on his terms, his timescales. He decides he’s putting the wall through, so he puts the bloody wall through.’
Michelle drank more wine and wiped her eyes. Jackie continued to watch her, wondering if she was just making matters worse by being here. Should she just butt out and bugger off back to Dez and the kids? ‘Look, love, do you know what they’re saying?’
‘What who’re saying?’
‘Folks out there?’
‘I couldn’t care less.’
‘I think you should. You and your girls need to be ready, I think.’
Michelle finished her glass and poured another. ‘I can imagine the kind of stuff. They’re saying Scott killed that Graham bloke.’
She looked at Jackie. Jackie looked away. ‘It’s worse than that. Way worse.’
‘Worse. How can it be worse?’
‘They’re saying he killed all of them, Chelle. Thing is, all this only started when you moved to Thussock. Folks are putting two and two together and are coming up with all kinds of answers.’
Michelle laughed. Not a quiet, nervous laugh, this was a full-on belly laugh which filled the house. The girls even heard her over the TV. ‘That’s fucking hilarious,’ she said.
‘I thought you needed to know. I think you and your girls need to be aware. People think your husband’s the killer.’
‘Let them think what they like, Jack. We’re all in the dark here. I don’t have a bloody clue what Scott’s capable of anymore.’
‘You can always come and stay at ours if things get bad here, love.’
‘Things already are bad, Jack. Though to be fair, they were bad before we got here. I thought this move would help, but it’s just made things worse. It must be something to do with me...’
‘It’s not you, Mum, and you know it,’ Tammy said. Neither of them had noticed her in the doorway. ‘We should pack our stuff tonight and get out of here. Go back home. Granddad’s always saying we can stay with him.’
‘That’s not the answer, Tam, and you know it.’
‘Then what is, Mum? Stay here with him until there’s nothing left of any of us? You should have seen him with that bloke last night. Scott was like a maniac. For what it’s worth, I don’t know if he had anything to do with all the other deaths, but I’m worried. I’m worried if he carries on like this it’ll be one of us next. He’s made threats to you before, Mum, and he’s right on the edge. I think we should cut our losses and get out of here.’
#
Jackie stayed for hours. Michelle put George to bed then she, Jackie and the girls sat in the living room together and talked about nothing all evening, deliberately avoiding any difficult topics of conversation. It was relaxing. It was liberating. There was no mention of Scott, other than when Tammy remarked on how different the house felt when he wasn’t there. ‘It feels normal, Mum, don’t you think? No one’s shouting. We’re not treading on eggshells. I’ve got satellite TV, we’ve finally got the Internet, and you’re half drunk. If things could be like this all the time, I might even feel like staying in Thussock.’
17
A little over twenty-four hours after driving him away, the same police car returned and dumped Scott back outside his front door. Michelle hadn’t been home long from taking the girls to school, figuring the sooner they got back into routine, the better. She rushed outside to greet him, her legs weak with nerves, not sure how she felt. ‘You’re back. You okay, love? What’s going on?’
Scott didn’t answer. Couldn’t answer. He walked straight past her and went into the house, sitting down at the kitchen table without uttering a word. Michelle hesitated and watched him from the doorway, trying to gauge the situation, unsure what to do or say next. Should she just pretend nothing had happened? It would probably be for the best, but she couldn’t do it. As much as he would inevitably need space after what he’d been through, she needed answers. She moved closer, then sat down opposite him. When he didn’t react, she cleared her throat. ‘What happened, Scott?’
He looked straight at her. ‘You know what happened,’ he said, his voice unemotional. ‘The pervert I beat up died. They decided I killed him. Apparently I hadn’t.’
‘Then who...? How did he...?’
‘How the hell am I supposed to know? Why don’t you ask the fucking pigs who dragged me out of here yesterday morning and kept me locked up all fucking night for no fucking reason.’
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to...’
‘It gets better,’ he said, cutting across her. ‘Fuckers tried to pin everything on me. All these killings. Cunts. All fucking circumstantial... just picking on me ’cause we’re new here.’
Michelle held her head in her hands. ‘Are we going to get this wherever we go? When I agreed to come here I thought—’
‘You thought what? Don’t try and turn this around on me. None of this is my fault. I was just trying to look out for your fucking pain-in-the-ass daughter and stop some fucking freak from raping her.’
‘I know. I—’
‘It’s not my fault this place is full of fucking psychos, is it? They’re all out of their fucking minds.’
‘I’m sorry. All I meant was—’
‘I know what you meant,’ he said, his voice suddenly louder. He banged his fist down on the table and Michelle jumped as much as the crockery. ‘I’m doing the best I can, you know. I know you lot don’t see it, but I’m trying really fucking hard here.’
‘I know you are. All I was going to say was—’
‘Maybe I should just stop? Maybe I should give up trying, ’cause the harder I try for this fucking family, the more fucked up things get.’
‘Don’t talk like that...’
‘It’s true though, isn’t it?’
‘No... no it’s not, and I don’t believe you really think that.’ She took a deep breath, trying to block out everything Tammy had said last night and focus instead on keeping Scott calm. ‘We’re going through a tough time, you in particular, but look how far we’ve come. If you’d said to me before the inquest that we’d be living in a house like this, rebuilding our lives and sorting our family out, I’d have been over the moon. We can put things back together here, I’m sure we can.’
‘Are you?’
She watched his face, waiting for any flicker of reaction. ‘Please, love... please don’t be like this. Everything’s going to be okay. You’re out of that place now. I don’t know what happened to that man, but I know you didn’t do it and that’s enough for me, really it is. And I know it wouldn’t have happened if Tammy hadn’t run off. It’s not your fault. Stop beating yourself up. You’ve got to learn to let go of stuff like this.’
He looked up at her. ‘Finished?’
She nodded and swallowed hard with nerves.
Scott was still staring at her. ‘They kept talking about the accident.’
Michelle’s body language changed. She visibly withdrew, the way she always did whenever the subject came up. ‘That’s all over now... you were cleared after the inquest.’
‘They were implying I might have done it on purpose, trying to make me out to be some real heartless fucker.’
‘They were just doing it to wind you up. What happened was an accident. Sue and Roy should have been watching her. It could have been anyone driving...’
‘But it was me.’
Elsewhere in the house, George started to cry. ‘I’ll go and see to him,’ Michelle said, ‘let him know you’re back. He was asking where you were.’ She got up and made for the door.
‘Been celebrating?’
She froze. ‘What?’
He pointed at the empty wine bottle on the draining board, evidence from last night that she’d forgotten to hide. ‘Have a drink on me, did you?’
‘I needed it to calm my nerves,’ she said, thinking on her feet, hoping he’d just accept her explanation. She’d have to get her story straight and tell the girls to keep quiet about Jackie coming around. ‘I was worried,’ she added, still not sure he was buying it. ‘Terrified. The police wouldn’t tell me anything. They wouldn’t let me see you.’
Scott nodded but didn’t say anything.
‘I’ll go and see to George, okay?’
He nodded again. He watched her leave the room but remained in his chair. He felt as if gravity had increased by a factor of ten since he’d got back, preventing him from getting up. He stared at the hole in the wall he’d made on Sunday afternoon. His sledgehammer was where he’d left it, still leaning in the corner. He didn’t dare pick it up. Start swinging that fucking thing around again and I’ll never stop, he thought. I’ll reduce this whole fucking house to rubble.
Michelle was back quickly, carrying George. She tried to show him Daddy was home, but he was cranky and tired and he wouldn’t look. She waited a couple of minutes until she couldn’t hold it in any longer. ‘Can I ask one more question? I’m sorry, Scott, I just need to know.’
‘What?’
‘What happened to change their minds? How come they let you go?’
‘Two things. First, I already told you, that pervert didn’t die from a punch in the face and a kick in the guts.’
‘Then how...?’
‘How the hell am I supposed to know? You think they’re gonna tell me?’
‘Sorry. I didn’t think.’
‘And second,’ he said ominously, ‘they did tell me something. There was another killing while they’d got me locked up. They found another body, that woman from the café. Someone raped her and sliced her up while I was locked away safe and sound in the cells.’
#
Michelle stayed well out of Scott’s way all day, as did the girls when they got home from school. He’d hardly slept in the cell last night and yet despite spending all afternoon lying on the bed in the ground floor bedroom, he still couldn’t switch off and get any rest. He could hear Michelle and Phoebe talking in the living room. He wished they’d shut their bloody noise up, but he couldn’t be bothered to tell them. George waddled past the half-open bedroom door a couple of times, and even he seemed to know better. Now’s not the time to be disturbing Daddy.
Scott couldn’t see a clock, but it felt like he’d been lying on the bed for hours. His body ached and he needed a piss. More than anything he needed a shower to get the smell of that damn place off him. He stank of stale sweat, reeked of the disinfected cell where he’d spent most of the last day.
With more effort than it should ever have taken, he swung his legs around and sat up, then waited a second for his head to stop spinning. He stripped to his underwear and threw his dirty clothes in the corner, thinking he felt so contaminated from being in custody that he’d rather burn them than wear them again. Wearing only his briefs, he padded over to the bathroom and opened the door.
Tammy was in there, just stepping out of the shower. She was naked. ‘Fuck’s sake,’ she gasped, frantically grabbing for her towel to cover herself up. ‘Do you mind?’
Scott, his brain still working at half-speed, shook his head and mumbled something about the door not being locked. He’d been taken by surprise, hadn’t stopped to think, hadn’t heard the running water... and now he was just standing there. She’d been a little kid when he and Michelle had first got together, still at junior school, but Tammy was very definitely a woman now.
When he didn’t move, she did. She shoved him back out and slammed the door in his face.
She finished drying herself, taking her time, trying to calm down but just getting angrier and angrier at the way he’d barged into the bathroom without a damn care. It made it even worse when he’d just gawped at her without apology. Any decent man would have looked away with embarrassment, so why not him? And this wasn’t the first time. She’d caught him looking at her before, and he’d always had an unspoken reputation amongst her friends. None of them liked being around him on their own. Katie called him a letch, said he was always undressing her with his eyes. She’d always wondered – though had never dared to say – if he’d done something to that little girl he knocked down, if there’d been more to the accident than he’d let on... There’s no smoke without fire, she’d always thought, and what he’d just done was proof positive that her step-dad was a seedy bastard. She wished he’d get out of their lives altogether. She wished the police hadn’t let him go.
She didn’t bother getting dressed, just put on her bra and knickers and draped her towel over her shoulders. She thought she’d put a show on for him, see how he reacted...
He was lying on his bed with his back to the door, curled up like a frightened little kid. She knew he was awake, and she knew that he knew she was there. She stayed a safe distance back, checked no one else was near, then pushed the door shut behind her.
‘Pervert.’
Nothing for a few seconds, then a mumbled reply. ‘I’m not a pervert. I didn’t mean to walk in on you like that.’
‘You sure? I think you did.’
He felt himself getting tense. He scrunched up the bedding in his fists and fought with himself not
to react. ‘I’m sure. I’m sorry.’
‘So, Sunday night, with that bloke,’ she said, knowing she was playing with fire but unable to stop now, ‘what was that all about?’
‘Your mum was worried about you. I said I’d go and look for you. When I saw what he was doing, I lost my temper.’
‘Why?’
‘You shouldn’t need to ask that.’
‘I mean, I know the reasons you gave Mum, and probably the police too, but is that really all there is to it?’
He looked back over his shoulder, saw that she was only half-dressed, then turned back again and covered his head with his hands. ‘You’re family. It’s my job to protect you.’
‘You sure you weren’t jealous? Maybe you just wanted me for yourself? I know what you really are, Scott.’
He was on her before she realised what was happening. In a single sudden movement he sprung off the bed and pushed Tammy back against the door, covering her mouth with his hand. Their bodies were close now – too close – but there was nothing sexual about this. She cried with fear when she looked into his wild eyes, but with her mouth covered she couldn’t make a sound. He stared at her; no words, just his breathing - low, hard and heavy like an animal poised for the kill. It was only a few seconds but to Tammy it felt like forever. She couldn’t move.
‘I’m not a pervert,’ he told her. ‘Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for this family, it’s just that you ungrateful shits can’t see it. We’re all out of options now, in case you hadn’t noticed. There’s nowhere left to go. So if you breathe a word about this, make any accusations or threats, I’ll break you. Understand?’
She nodded, tears streaming down her face and over his hands. He relaxed his grip, ready to cover her mouth again if she dared cry out.
‘I get it,’ she said, and he backed away. ‘But if you touch Mum again, I’ll tell the police you tried to rape me.’
