by Joanna Blake
He didn't say anything for a long minute. Eventually he let go of my hands. I opened the door and gave him one last look.
"Gabe..."
His head jerked towards me. He looked like he was in pain. I felt my stomach twist at the look in his eyes.
"I'm sorry."
Gabe
I finished my dinner, staring glumly into space. My mom had made one of my childhood favorites tonight. Sweet potato casserole. It had been years since I'd had it. I'm sure it was delicious.
I couldn't taste a damn thing.
I thanked her as she cleaned up. I'm pretty sure she noticed how moody I was but she didn't say anything. It was a good thing too. I didn't know how to explain that I was upset because I couldn't get a woman.
Not just any woman. A girl who had tantalized me since puberty. A girl who wanted me back, but kept hovering out of reach.
A girl who needed me as much as I needed her. And I wasn't just talking sex, though I wanted to have lots and lots of sex with her. I had a feeling we both needed something more out of life.
Something real.
Something we might be able to build together.
Only Tabby was running away from it. From me. And since I was in this damn chair, I couldn't exactly chase her down.
I was still sitting at the table downstairs a half an hour later. The sun was setting through the sliding glass doors. I could see it glinting off the waves in the distance. It was another beautiful night of me doing absolutely fucking nothing.
Fuck this.
It was time to take the bull by the horns. I pulled out my phone and texted Tabitha. Within a few moments she had texted me back. I wondered if she was as lonely as I was.
If she wanted to see me as bad as I wanted to see her.
Don't do this. Don't quit
It had nothing to do with you
I want to talk
I'm working Gabe
Fine. I'll come to you.
Nothing. Radio silence. Not a peep.
Fine, if she wanted to be like this, I was going to have to play dirty. Or at least be more aggressive about getting what I wanted.
I was tired of waiting for her to come around.
"Mom?"
Her head popped down the stairwell a minute later. I knew she'd been sitting up there worrying about me. I ignored the pinprick of guilt I felt. I would gladly cheer up and make my mom happy.
As soon as I got what I wanted.
Tabby.
"Can you drop me in town? I'll get a cab back."
"Do you want to drive? You can use my car."
"No. I'm going to have a drink."
She lit up. "Oh, are you meeting the guys?" I nodded, thinking it wasn't quite a lie. Hell, they were probably all there anyway, bellied up to the bar.
"Give me five, okay?"
She nodded and disappeared to give me some privacy. I rolled into the bathroom and hoisted myself up to stare at the mirror. I had a faint shadow but didn't want to take the time to shave. I splashed my face, brushed my teeth and combed my hair. All while standing on one leg.
Doesn't matter, Gabe. Doesn't make you less of a man.
I smirked suddenly.
It didn't mean I couldn't please one cranky Tabby cat. My dick still worked. So did my fingers. And my tongue.
I would make her squeal I decided. I'd make her beg.
I didn't care how many lovers she'd had. I would be the one to impress her. To break down her walls and get at the gooey center.
I would be the best.
I rubbed some deodorant under my arms and changed my shirt. I even stuck a couple condoms in my wallet. Maybe she'd invite me back to her place.
Maybe I'd insist that we go there to talk. Then I'd work my magic on her.
Hell yeah, this was going down.
I was going to get my woman.
"You ready?"
I nodded to my mom and wheeled myself out the back.
"I'm ready."
Tabby
I counted my tips. Fifty bucks so far. Dammit. It was a slow night for everyone, blustery cold outside. But I couldn’t afford slow nights.
I needed every penny to afford a new place and another crack at school. I had to get out of this damn town before I turned into what they thought I was.
A tramp.
Because I was inches away from giving in to Gabe.
Then what would I be? The girl from the wrong side of the tracks who tumbled into bed with the star quarterback. The war hero who would move on to greener pastures as soon as he was healed. All he'd have to do was snap his fingers at this point. I was that close.
And I would be stuck here, with nothing. Fair game for all the other jerks. The ones who didn't make my heart race or my stomach flutter.
I stuffed the money in my apron and froze.
Dark green eyes were staring at me from across the bar. Piercing eyes that went straight through me. My heart started to pound.
Gabe was here. He was sitting by himself at the end of the bar. I frowned. How the hell did he get up into that chair? He could have hurt himself!
I was across the bar before I thought about what people might think.
Gabe wasn't even trying to hide that he was watching me. He had a dark look on his face and a pint in his hand.
"What are you doing here?"
He took a sip of his beer.
"It's a bar. I'm drinking."
I took a step back. He was acting weird. Like he didn't like me. Not even a little.
Maybe he didn't.
I had told him I was leaving.
"How did you get into the stool- you shouldn't have done that."
"Why not?"
"You could have hurt yourself- your leg-"
He smirked at me suggestively.
"It's just one leg Tabby. The rest of my body works just fine. Believe me."
I took another step back, feeling uncertain. I realized people were staring at us. We were bordering on making a scene. I shook my head and went back to work.
I tried not to look over at him. He was surrounded by the local guys almost immediately. I noticed that everyone was trying to impress him. It was just like high school.
He was in the center of it all. Just like usual.
And I was on the outskirts.
I kept my head down, stealing a glance at him now and then. He looked so handsome it made my insides twist. And I thought I caught him looking at me a few times.
Was he here to see me? Like he'd said in his text?
If he was here to see me, then why was he ignoring me?
I went into the stockroom as it got late to start setting up for the morning shift. I bent over to grab a stack of napkins. That's when I heard it.
The heavy metal door creaked and slammed shut behind me.
Gabe sat there in his chair. He didn’t say anything. He just watched me. He reached up and locked the door behind him.
Then he smiled. It was not a nice smile. It was a dangerous smile.
"What are you doing?"
"I told you. I wanted to talk."
"Not now, Gabe. I'm working."
He crossed his arms.
"It's not busy. All the other waitresses are sitting on their asses at the bar counting tips. But not you."
I raised my chin. If he was angry at me- if he wanted a confrontation- I had to be ready for it.
I had to be strong.
"No, not me."
He laughed. It sounded bitter. I wondered if he'd had too much to drink.
"You work harder than anyone I know. Not just at the job. At keeping people away."
I blinked.
"Your drunk."
He wheeled closer and I backed up until my shoulders were against the metal shelves that were bolted to the wall. He reached out and traced his finger along the top of my apron. I shivered from the feeling of his hand through my clothes.
"Just a little buzzed."
My eyes got wide as he reached for me. No- not for me
. He reached past me.
He grunted as he used the metal bars to hoist himself to his feet. I was afraid to move. Afraid I would hurt him.
Afraid of what was about to happen.
He stood over me, inches away. He was so big... I'd forgotten how tall he was. How wide his shoulders were. He dwarfed me. I couldn't see anything but him.
"You're not quitting."
I lifted my chin and stared him right in the eye. It was hard, but I made myself do it.
"I am."
"I won't let you." His lips quirked. "I need you."
My heart did a little flip flop. I looked to the side, trying to ignore how his closeness was affecting me. I felt hot and cold and-
His fingertips brushed my cheek.
"Tabitha..."
Then he was gripping my face, turning me to face him. I realized what he was doing right before his lips caught mine. He kissed me firmly. He moaned as he tasted me, like I tasted delicious. I let out a little whimper as he leaned closer, his chest brushing mine.
Then everything changed. He growled and pulled me against him with one arm. I was wrapped in his strength as he forced my lips apart. His tongue was in my mouth, taking what he wanted. There was no teasing this time. No playfulness.
Just raw, primal hunger.
And so help me God, I kissed him right back.
Gabe kept on touching me, stroking my back and sides. I leaned into his touch like a cat. Wanting more- wanting- I didn't even know what it was I wanted.
But Gabe did.
His hand slid lower and I let him guide my leg up so that he could get even closer. I felt his hardness against me and gasped. He was huge and he was burning hot. Even through his jeans.
It woke me out of the stupor I was in.
I shook my head wildly.
"No! Gabe- stop!"
He stopped and stared down at me, his jaw ticking. He looked so different from the charming, sweet man I knew during daylight hours. This man looked desperate. Angry.
Starving.
"Please stop."
He swallowed and stepped back slightly.
I felt the cold air rush between us. Like we'd created a vacuum where our bodies had pressed together. There had been heat and touch and now there was nothing.
"Tabby... why won't you let me in?"
I couldn't look at him.
"In what? My pants?"
"That's not what I meant." He smirked. "But yeah, I want that too."
"I'm not a tramp. I'm not what- everyone says."
He gripped my chin and made me look at him. I didn't want to. I was so afraid of what I'd see.
His eyes were burning. Fierce.
"I know."
I exhaled in a whoosh. He meant it. He wasn't just trying to get off with the town slut. At least I thought that's what I saw in his eyes.
Bang bang bang!
"TJ! You in there? We're closing up."
"Be right out!"
I looked at Gabe. He hadn't moved.
"Gabe, I need to go."
He cursed.
"Fine. But we are continuing this conversation."
"What's the point?"
He growled and yanked me against him. He kissed me hard, his body unyielding, his tongue pushing into my mouth. I realized my feet were dangling off the floor. Even injured, the man could lift me without breaking a sweat.
He set me down and looked at me.
"That's the point."
Then he lowered himself into his chair and wheeled away.
Gabe
I waited by the door, refusing to leave with Topher and Lyle. Tabby shook her head when the line cook asked if he needed to get rid of me like the last guy.
Apparently, this sort of thing had happened before.
It should have upset me that other guys had been with her, but instead it made me more resolved. I was not putting up with this any longer. She was not going to lie to herself, or to me.
She was not going to run away.
If she could look me in the eye, and tell me she didn't want me as much as the other guys she'd been with, fine. But I knew she couldn't. She was a lot of things, but she wasn't a liar. I was betting on it.
I waited as she pulled on her coat and waved to her last few co-workers as they shut the lights down. She held her folded apron in her hand and stared at me. Without a word we went outside.
It was starting to snow.
"Should I get a cab?"
"I got my car back. It's... not very nice though."
"I don't care."
She sighed and led me down the block to her car. It was, as she said, not very nice. I noticed that she'd parked under a bright streetlight.
Good girl.
She was smart to look out for herself like that. But from now on she didn't have to. I was going to do it for her.
"Gabe... what are we doing?"
Standing there in the soft glow of the streetlight, with the snow falling around her, she looked like an angel. I stared at her hungrily, my eyes roving over her perfect face. Her beautiful eyes were worried.
Worried, but also hopeful.
"I'm not going to hurt you."
She waited but I didn't say anything else. I wasn't going to spell it out for her. That would come later, when we were in her bed. Then I would tell her that she was going to be mine from this point forward.
That I was keeping her.
She swallowed and looked away. Then she nodded and unlocked the car and I knew I had won. I used my arms to heave myself into the old vinyl seat. Tabby folded my chair and put it in the back.
I couldn't help but notice that the beat-up old car was neat as a pin. I smiled. She was conscientious. There was no arguing that.
Tabby's hands were white when she rested them on the steering wheel.
"We should go to your place."
"I'd rather not." I grunted. I wanted to get to her place. I wanted to get to know her dammit. Plus, I assumed it was more private. "Why?"
"Mine isn't wheelchair friendly."
I grit my teeth. She was still keeping me out. Holding me at arm's length. But so be it.
She was coming with me at least. She wasn't fighting me anymore. I nodded, deciding to take what I could get.
"Fine."
She pulled out into traffic, driving carefully in the snow. I was tempted to tell her to stop at the beach. It was so romantic in the snow.
But there wasn't much room in the car for getting horizontal. Besides, I wanted our first time together to be in a bed.
And once I started kissing her, I knew I wasn't going to be able to stop.
On a bed, it was an even playing field. I could move freely, as long as I didn't put too much weight on my injured leg. I could make her mine without feeling like a cripple.
I looked out the window and smiled. It was happening. Tonight.
Tonight, Tabby was going to be mine.
Tabby
I glanced at my phone. It was late, but I'd missed a call from Maryanne and Jackie. Jacks had even texted me, asking me about Gabe. I shoved the phone back into my purse and looked at Gabe.
"Did you take your pills already?"
He just looked at me. He was on the couch, waiting for me to sit down. I perched on the edge of it instead, my jacket still on. I was pretty much ready to run out of there at a moment's notice.
"You're off duty. Come."
He patted the seat next to him and I chewed my lip, considering. After a minute, I realized I looked like an idiot and sat. Gabe reached for my chest and I flinched back. Gabe gave me an odd look. I realized he had been reaching for the zipper of my jacket.
I held perfectly still as he pulled the zipper down and exposed my tight work t-shirt. He leaned back again and quirked a smile at me.
"Aren't you going to take it off?"
I nodded jerkily, feeling like a freak. I was so damn nervous. It's not like I didn't want this. Want him... I did. I just, well, I'd never done it before.
Maybe yo
u should tell him that, dummie.
I tried to imagine telling Gabe I was a virgin at twenty-two. He'd probably laugh himself silly. Or think I was lying. I wasn't sure which was worse.
So, I said nothing.
I shrugged the jacket off and left it behind me, feeling awkward. He gave me a friendly smile, lulling me into a sense of calm. Then he reached out lightning quick and grabbed me.
Before I knew it I was sitting in his lap.
"Gabe!"
He grinned, his hands holding my hips firmly in place.
"What?"
"I thought you wanted to- to talk!"
He was looking at me like I was something good to eat. And he was starving. He shook his head.
"Later."
Then he was kissing me. I worried that I was putting weight on his leg and tried to move but he wouldn't let me budge an inch. I pulled in a shaky breath as his tongue slid into my mouth and tangled with mine.
It felt nice.
It felt more than nice.
It felt amazing.
Before I knew it, I was kissing him back, sighing with pleasure as he pressed our bodies together.
I felt his hands start to move over my clothes, molding and cupping each curve. He moaned loudly as his hand closed over my breast for the first time.
"Jesus Tabby..."
He twisted smoothly until somehow I was lying beneath him. He made a sexy, deep sound as he settled between my thighs. He kissed me again and after a minute I forgot that this was the first time.
The first time I'd let anyone touch me, or get this close.
It felt natural and right and so, so good I could hardly believe it. He seemed to think so too. Gabe told me I was beautiful in between kissing me. He told me he wanted me.
He told me how bad.
But then he reached for my top. I froze, cringing when he started to unbutton my shirt.
"Wait-"
"What's wrong?"
He was staring at me, breathing hard. How the hell was I supposed to tell him I felt self-conscious about my breasts? They were too big and heavy and just- out there.
I usually wore two bras when I worked. In fact, I was wearing two right now.
I didn't want him to think I was a freak.
