by E A Foley
I think we’ll end here for the day. I’m sure you’re exhausted.
“That’s an understatement,” Iris agreed as she readied to release all the power she’d gathered.
Wait! Not like that, her Little Self yelled as Iris attempted to simply let go of the remaining power she held. You need to let it flow out of you in slow, measured amounts and send it back into the Earth. If you release it all at once, it’ll be like your body has suffered a terrible blow and may cause you to black out, or worse. If you held too much power and released it all at once, it could rip your body apart and kill you.
“You know, you could have said that earlier. Like before you claimed we were done for the day,” Iris grumbled, but she followed her Little Self’s advice and changed her thoughts from releasing all the remaining power within her body at once to letting it drift back down to the Earth’s core. A few moments later, Iris was no longer aware of the blood flowing through her veins or each blade of grass tickling her legs. She could still feel the pulsations emanating up from the Earth. “Why can I still feel the Earth?” She asked her Little Self.
Because you’re aware of it and the power it holds within its core. What you feel is the life force of the Earth. The same life force that all living creatures share and the same force that courses through everything on the Earth, from a single grain of sand to Half Dome. An acorn to a sequoia. Even a drop of rain to the ocean. Everything. Now that you’re aware it exists, you’ll begin to notice it in all things—big, small, animate, and inanimate.
“It’s amazing. Can I try again? Just to make sure I have it down?”
If you feel you’re up to it, by all means, please do try again. I’d be more concerned if you didn’t want to try.
Iris attempted to pull the pulsating power up through the Earth’s core, mantle, and crust. This time she found the task much easier because she was already aware of the pulsations beneath her. She pulled in less power, but the urge to draw in more was still present. In fact, it was greater. It was like an addictive drug; once she’d experienced a taste, all she wanted was more. Forcing herself to release the power she’d collected was even more difficult the second time around. Iris decided the best thing for her would be to practice drawing in and releasing the power several times in a row. She needed to create the habit now, so she wouldn’t have to think about it in the future.
After thirty minutes of drawing in various amounts of power and releasing it back to the Earth, Iris was satisfied with her ability to collect and let go of the power at will. She was particularly happy that it took her less time with each attempt. Giving her surroundings one last look, Iris got up and went back to her room where she fell into her bed and drifted off to sleep.
Iris found the next week very difficult and completely surreal. Here she was, going through her normal high school routine of class, homework, and seeing friends, yet when she got home, it was like she was in her own fantasy book.
She had only a few hours each evening before her parents got home, so they were jam-packed. Every day, her Little Self had her practice drawing in and releasing the power that pulsated through the Earth before working on tasks. She found it jarring to go from what felt like one reality to the other. On top of that, Iris felt like she was a part of two different worlds that had collided with her at the center. She relished every minute of it.
This was her life now: school and magic. Though, it wasn’t magic as she’d read about in any of her fantasy books, seen in movies, or even imagined. She didn’t need a wand and she didn’t have to chant to get inanimate objects to move. Nor did she need a single word of power or a hand gesture. All she had to do was simply ask. It felt . . . right, somehow, and Iris sensed a true connection with the Earth and the power flowing through it.
It was this newer life that kept Iris going through the mundane one she’d been a part of since birth. She didn’t have to hide her eyes and emotions or apologize to anyone for who she was. Her confidence grew, and with it, her self-esteem—at least, in the comfort of her room it did.
Every day, she couldn’t wait to get home and learn something new or master a task she hadn’t fully completed. She was pretty good at things that involved movement. Getting items to pick themselves up or float, turning on and off her light switch, opening a soda can. Her Little Self explained it was easier to do things with magic that she’d physically done herself so many times she no longer thought about it. Iris thought it also helped that movement was something she could visualize and understand easily.
On top of teaching her how to perform tasks, Iris’s Little Self laid out the rules. The first rule was she couldn’t use magic when she was around people; even if she was in her bedroom with the door closed. The risk of her concentrating so much on the magical task at hand and therefore not hearing someone call her name or knock on her door was too great. Iris agreed, but it was a difficult rule to follow. All she wanted to do was practice magic and learn everything there was to know about it all the time.
At school, Iris desperately wanted to tell her friends about the power flowing through the Earth, but something held her back. Something told her the timing wasn’t quite right, so Iris kept her mouth shut and tried to keep magic out of her mind all together while she was at school. She had the most difficult time accomplishing this task in her English class. They were still working on their Cinderella story assignment.
While Iris was reading Violet’s story on Friday, a tickling sensation started at the back of her neck. She scratched at it a few times before realizing it was the same sensation she’d experienced a few weeks earlier. It pulsed in light flutters that mimicked the rhythmic heartbeat she felt when connected to the power flowing all around her. Her mind unconsciously reached out to connect with the surrounding power until she realized what was happening and put a stop to it.
Iris looked around the classroom to make sure no one noticed what she’d done when her eyes fell on Violet. Violet’s head was cocked to the left and her brows were furrowed. It was like she was listening to something only she could hear.
“What’s up, Vi?” Iris whispered.
“Nothing. I just thought I heard something. Like a steady drumbeat, but not really.” She shrugged her shoulders, smiled at Iris and went back to editing the paper in front of her.
Iris looked back to the pages she was supposed to be reading but didn’t register any of the words. Her breathing quickened as a new thought took hold. It was so simple she didn’t know how she’d missed it before. Violet was a magic user too. She had to be. Iris reached out toward Violet with her mind like she did when opening herself up to the flows of power surrounding her. Stillness met her. The tickling sensation was gone. With a little shake, Iris went back to reading Violet’s story. She scratched absentmindedly at the tickling sensation slowly creeping up her neck and made a note on the page.
Chapter 8
Another week came and went. With it, Iris solidified her ability to draw in and release the power flowing through the Earth at will. She no longer needed to think about connecting with the Earth. She just did it and was full of power in less than a breath instead of the minutes it took her the first few dozen times. Besides that, she was no longer exhausted after performing magic. She assumed this had something to do with how much she was practicing and using it. It was like gaining muscle mass in a way.
Iris did everything with magic she could think of, from shuffling through the pages of her music folder to organizing paperwork and getting things out of cabinets. She found the farther away she was from something, the harder it was to ask it to complete her requested task, but she was getting there. The hardest part was limiting the time she spent practicing magic after school.
Her parents’ work hours fluctuated and her sister liked to drop by unannounced. It meant she was constantly terrified someone would come home and discover her abilities. One day, when she’d finally gotten the hang of getting out a glass, filling it with water from the fridge, and floating it down the h
all to her bedroom, the deadbolt clicked open as the glass was passing the front door. Thankfully instead of panicking she set the glass on the closest shelf. Of course she got yelled at for leaving it there, but it was better than her powers being discovered.
Unfortunately, that particular incident traumatized Iris a bit so she cut back on her self-allotted magic use time. Some afternoons she couldn’t practice anything and she felt like her progress started to stall. At school, it was the same thing. No matter how hard she tried to determine whether Violet was a magic user, she received no signs. The tickling sensation had been dormant for almost two weeks and Violet seemed like her usual, cheerful self.
By the time marching season ended, Iris convinced herself she’d imagined everything about Violet due to her desperation to have a friend to share magic with. Perhaps this was her lot in life—to be unique and never understood or fully accepted. First her eyes, now magic. They may have made her special, but Iris knew no one would ever understand what she was going through unless they could experience it for themselves. She felt isolated and alone going into the Thanksgiving break. On top of that, her house was going to be full of family for five days, which meant no magic practice. Iris grew more depressed by the day.
“Cheer up, Iris,” Violet told her as she bumped into her shoulder on their walk to their English class. “You always said you love hanging out with your cousins and aunts and uncles.”
“Yeah. That’s true. I do. I think I’m just second-guessing my college applications and essay and everything.”
“Well, you’ve turned them in, right?”
Iris nodded.
“Then there’s nothing you can do now. You’ll get in. You realize that, right?”
Iris shook her head.
Violet chuckled. “Iris, you’re going to get in. I just know it. We’re probably all going to end up at the same school and be roommates and it will be amazing!”
The tickling sensation was back. “How do you know?”
“I dreamt about it,” Violet shrugged. “So cheer up, okay?”
“Okay,” Iris grinned. “I will if you promise to be my college roommate.”
“It’s a deal,” Violet smiled back.
“What about me?” Cirrus cut in.
“Don’t do that!” Iris told him. “Sneaking up on people isn’t nice.”
“You two were too busy talking for me to get a word in to let you know I was here,” he countered.
Iris would have called him out on eavesdropping, but she was distracted by the tickling sensation at the back of her neck. It seemed to be intensifying into a constant tingling. She looked from Cirrus’s grinning face to Violet’s and let her own visage brighten. She wasn’t alone after all. She was going to have two friends who could do magic.
“Anyway,” Cirrus continued, “what about me, babe?”
“You can’t be my roommate freshman year and I doubt my dad will let you be my roommate after that anyway. You’ll just have to come over often to hang out, that’s all.”
“I guess I can live with that. Of course, this is all contingent on us getting into the same school . . .”
“It’ll happen. I promise.”
“If you say it will, then I believe it will. See you after school?” he asked Violet.
“Yup.” She gave him a quick kiss and he peeled off to go to class.
Iris felt happier than she had in weeks. She wasn’t going to be alone for her entire life like she’d fantasized about for the last few weeks. “Can’t I tell them?” she asked her Little Self on her way to her car after the last bell of the day.
Absolutely not! Imagine if someone told you that you could do magic. Would you have believed them?
“No,” Iris sighed in a huff.
Precisely. Now, leave them alone and no magic until all of your family is gone. Understood?
“Yes, ma’am.”
Iris’s Little Self retreated to the back corner of her mind once more. Iris was almost starting to think there was something growing back there. At the very minimum, there was a room or something for her Little Self to hide in. Whenever she decided their conversations were over, that’s where she fled and Iris lost all traces of her existence.
She contemplated these thoughts on her way home but dropped the subject as she pulled onto the cul-de-sac her house was situated at the end of. There were already three extra cars parked on the street. As she backed into the driveway, she pushed all traces of magic from her mind and assured herself she wasn’t holding onto any power before heading inside to a whirlwind of hugs and hellos.
Though she longed to practice her skills, Iris refrained while her family was around. Besides the fact that she’d promised her Little Self she wouldn’t practice magic if there were people in the house, her cousin was sleeping on her top bunk. There’d be no way she could keep what she was doing hidden, nor could she keep her cousin from asking questions if she accidentally used magic. She was not ready for a conversation like that yet.
Iris kept her mind in check so it wouldn’t wander to thoughts of magic. Anytime it did, she worked on some homework as a way to distract herself. Even though she desperately wanted to practice magic after her extended family left, Iris couldn’t. Her parents and sister were still in the house. It was a very long—though fun—five days. Even so, Iris couldn’t wait to get back to school to see Violet and Cirrus. She had to wait until they were on the way to English class to get Violet alone.
“What’s up? You seem a little down today,” she told Violet as they walked through the dense throng of students and backpacks.
Violet sighed. “Yeah, a little. It’s just . . .” Violet stopped and tried to find the words to describe what was wrong. “I’ve had this really weird feeling. Like I don’t belong here. I feel the most right when I’m around you all and Cirrus, but when I go home, I just feel . . . off.”
Iris’s attention was piqued. Violet described exactly how Iris felt before she discovered her ability to access the stores of power within the Earth’s core. It heightened her awareness of her friend. The tickling sensation at the back of her neck started. Her Little Self warned her not to tell her friends about being a magic user yet, but Iris had to do something. Violet was so sad. She thought about asking if she’d had any weird dreams, but instead asked, “Wanna talk about it?”
“Well,” Violet looked away from Iris to scan the surrounding buildings and students. “It’s something I’ve always felt, you know, like this life isn’t quite right or something. Like I’m supposed to be doing something more. It’s been getting stronger recently. I used to think it was because we’re getting closer to college and thought the feeling would go away once I figured out what I want to do with my life, but recently . . . I dunno.” She sighed and looked at the ground. “I feel like it’s something else. Something more. Does that make any sense?” Violet asked as she looked Iris straight in the eyes.
“Yes. Yes it does. I used to feel the same way. I always felt like I was made for something more. It’s lessened recently.”
“How?”
“I think I’ve determined the reason for it.” Iris tried to be evasive.
“What is it? Can you tell me?” Violet brightened up at Iris’s words.
She’s not ready yet, Iris’s Little Self cautioned within her mind.
“It’s something I kind of discovered for myself. I’m not sure I can explain it, but if I figure out how, I promise I’ll tell you,” Iris told her best friend. Internally she asked, Why can’t I tell her?
She hasn’t fully awoken like you have. Everyone realizes what they are at different times. In their own way. You can’t rush her into it or she’ll never believe you and will remain as she is now; confused and not sure where she belongs in this world.
Iris bumped her shoulder into Violet’s and drew her friend out of her current state of contemplation. “C’mon, cheer up. If I was able to figure it out, so will you. Just stick close to Cirrus and me and I bet it’ll come to you in no ti
me.”
“You think so?” Violet asked an hour later as they left class together.
“Definitely. By the way, have I ever told you that you two are adorable together?” Iris grinned at Violet’s blush. “I might be a little jealous, but you guys are perfect for each other.”
“Yeah. I kind of feel the same way. You know? Like Cirrus is who I’m supposed to be with?”
“Nope. I have no clue what you’re talking about, but I agree with the sentiment. He’s good for you. And you for him. I’m glad Aeri encouraged him to ask you out.”
“Me too. He feels like home. So do you for that matter. Well, see you tomorrow.”
“You feel like home to me too,” Iris agreed as they parted for sixth period after a quick hug.
Chapter 9
Iris wanted nothing more than to rush home and try something new. She’d dreamt about creating a light source and wanted her Little Self to tell her how to put the dream into action. Unfortunately, her sister’s car was still in the driveway when she got home, which meant she couldn’t try anything. Instead, she went straight to her room and got started on homework. As the end of the semester approached, teachers seemed to think they hadn’t assigned enough work.
By the time everyone was in bed, Iris couldn’t stand it any longer. If she didn’t do some magic—any magic—she would explode. Taking every precaution she could think of, Iris hung a blanket from the top bunk, drew her blackout shades, and pulled her reading light into the small space, along with several fantasy books.
If her Little Self wasn’t going to help, she hoped one of these books would give her some ideas as to how to create a personal light source. She flipped through a few of the novels, ears perked for any sounds indicating someone was still awake. A few ideas presented themselves. Iris itched to try something. She had to try something. Anything. She’d gone way too long without using magic. Deciding there was no time like the present to attempt creating a light source, she called to her Little Self for help once more, but received no response.
