by Tefft, Cyndi
“Tell me what happened,” he said, interrupting my pity party. “Start at the beginning.”
I didn’t want to think about it. I didn’t want to go over it again. But I had to. I knew that. So I took a deep breath and tried to calm the tremors in my body. “I was standing at the piano...” I began, and told him everything. Well, mostly everything. I couldn’t bring myself to repeat the warning that still burned in my memory.
Leave him or die.
Tears rolled down my cheeks and I sucked in a ragged breath.
“I tried to reach you, but you weren’t there,” I said, hating the whiny sound of my voice.
“I was there, but only for a heartbeat. When you called out to me, I saw the beast through your eyes.”
“Through my eyes?” I shot upright and nearly blacked out at the pain.
He pressed me back down onto the couch and waited until my breathing slowed. “Aye, as if it had cornered me. As if I were the one underneath it. As if its claws were sunk into my throat.” He ground out the words like they caused him physical pain, as though the rage within was barely tethered. “God knows, I would rather that have been the case,” he said, fanning his fingertips over my neck.
“So you heard what it said to me?”
He shook his head. “Nae. ‘Twas as if the transporter knew I was there and forced me out. Twice it happened. I could not get back in. I couldn’t help you.” The look on his face told me what that admission cost him. I rehashed it in my mind for the hundredth time, trying to make the pieces fit.
The hell transporter had controlled me, manipulated my mind. But not my body. I didn’t go running through the room while under its spell. I’d remained at the piano, frozen. I’d connected with Aiden and drawn him into the lie, into the nightmare. He’d seen it. But the beast knew he was there and cut him off. I didn’t know what it meant. Or what I could do about it.
“It’s not your fault,” I said finally.
“It is my fault,” he snapped, starting to lose the fragile hold on his temper. “If I weren’t here, you wouldn’t be in danger.” I could feel him pulling away, trying to distance himself to save me.
Leave him or die. The phrase was etched in the back of my skull.
I thought about what life had been like without Aiden, the constant aching, the feeling as if I’d been gutted with a serrated blade, as if all the color had been sucked out of life. Nothing was worse than that. All of a sudden, the words lost their grip on me. I wasn’t afraid anymore.
I sat up slowly and took his face in my hands, making sure he was looking at me and really seeing me.
“I would rather die than live without you again.” I spoke the words slowly, deliberately, staring him down.
Hesitation clouded his face, the need to protect me such an integral part of him.
“Lindsey,” he started, his hands coming up to cover my own.
“No!” My hold on his face tightened and I knew I had his complete attention. “Nothing will come between us, Aiden MacRae. No one will take you from me again. I swear to you right now. If that demon beast from hell wants you, it’s going to have get through me first.”
Finally, he nodded and I dropped my hands to his shoulders. He lifted my fingers to his lips and kissed them lightly.
“I don’t deserve you,” he said, his voice rough with emotion.
“No, you don’t,” I replied. His head snapped up. “I’m pretty damn awesome.”
At that, he broke into a wide grin and started to laugh. “Aye, that you are.”
When he kissed me, I knew that whatever came, we’d face it together, that he wasn’t going to pull away again.
Chapter 19
Little did I realize that Aiden wasn’t going to pull away at all. For the next week, he stuck to me like a shadow. When I woke up in the morning, he was at my dorm room, waiting to walk me to the dining hall for breakfast. At the end of every class, he was there, ready to escort me to the next one. When the school day was done, we went to his place and he worked with the horses, as Ian was paying him to do. In the evening, he took me back to the dorm, kissed me goodnight, and it all started again in the morning.
At first, I liked seeing him all the time. It was something to look forward to when my classes dragged on. But it didn’t take long before I missed spending time with my friends, missed just being alone. Aiden was bent and determined that I never be alone, just in case something happened. And I totally got that. But it grated on me.
Sunday evening, I had a mountain of homework to do and told Aiden I needed to study. I’d spent the whole day with him and he was walking me back to the dorm late that afternoon when we came across a scrimmage game of soccer in the grassy commons area in front of my building. Both Paul and Micah were in the game and we stopped briefly to watch them. They were playing skins versus shirts, and I admired Paul’s lean, sculpted chest as he maneuvered the ball down the field. Micah was thin and wiry, with a single hairy stripe running from between his nipples down his stomach and disappearing into his shorts.
Paul waved at Aiden as he sped by with the ball, deftly dodging an oncoming opponent. He passed it to another guy I didn’t recognize, who swung his leg back to make a kick at the goal. A member of the opposing team tried to steal the ball and their legs collided, causing Paul’s teammate to fall and twist his leg into an unnatural position. He went down with a cry of pain and stayed there.
“Dan! Crap,” Paul said as he ran over to his friend. A blonde girl made it there first and hovered over him, her face drawn with worry. Dan eventually righted himself, but couldn’t put weight on the leg. He put one arm around the girl and the two of them hobbled off toward the school nurse’s office. Paul stood in the middle of the field, frowning, and ran a hand over his closely cropped brown hair, obviously trying to decide what to do about the game. He jogged over to where we stood watching and stopped in front of Aiden.
“Hey Aiden, have you ever played soccer before? I guess they probably call it ‘football’ in Scotland.” Aiden shook his head and shifted his weight from one foot to the other, squinting at the players on the field who were all looking at him now. “Would you be willing to give it a try? It’s not hard. The goal is to kick the ball into the net and you can’t touch it with your hands. That’s about all there is to it. Of course, the other team is trying to do the same thing, so sometimes you get the shit kicked out of your shins.” He laughed and shrugged.
“I don’t have any extra shin guards, so you’d have to take your chances. Do you want to play? We need another guy since Dan is out.”
To my surprise, Aiden agreed. “Why not? I can tell you’re the best player on the team, so I’ll just stay out of your way until you finish the game.” Paul didn’t try to hide his self-satisfied grin at the compliment. Aiden stripped off his shirt and handed it to me. The late afternoon sun shone on the muscles in his arms and chest and I swear every girl in the vicinity breathed out a sigh. Paul ran with Aiden to the center of the field where he quickly made introductions. Micah moved next to Paul and stared at Aiden, his mouth pulled up in a sneer of contempt and poorly concealed jealousy.
What’s his problem? I thought to myself, and sat down on the grass to watch as the game resumed. Aiden was right; Paul was obviously the best player on the team, and his natural athletic ability shone through. He’d received a full ride basketball scholarship, so soccer wasn’t even his main sport, but he was very good at it, deftly weaving the ball around and through the legs of his opponents as he moved it down the field. To his credit, he didn’t hog the ball, but passed it back and forth with his teammates. He kicked it over to Aiden, who quickly learned that soccer is simple enough in concept, but quite difficult to master.
A guy in a white t-shirt plucked the ball away from him with a quick sweep of the foot and took off with it in the opposite direction, laughing at Aiden as he did so. Aiden’s face was drawn in concentration as he sped after him, and he stuck out a foot to steal the ball back. He ran with it a ways, then p
assed with the inside of his foot to Micah, who wasn’t paying attention and let it roll by. Paul yelled something I couldn’t make out, but Micah’s face grew red and angry. Paul chased after the ball and faked out the oncoming player, then neatly kicked it into the corner of the net past the goalie. He jogged over to Aiden and congratulated him on being a quick study.
“Not too bad for a noob,” Paul said, grinning.
“Er, thank ye?” Aiden responded and Paul started to laugh.
“Are you two about done, or should we give you some time alone?” Micah’s voice was edged with a nastiness I’d never heard from him before.
Paul stared at him, affronted. “Don’t be a dick, Micah. Just because you were standing there picking your nose when Aiden passed you the ball.” Micah glared at Aiden but Paul shook him off, showing Aiden where to stand so the other team could start the ball into play again.
To my delight, Aiden improved noticeably over the remainder of the game, getting the feel for the ball and anticipating the movements of his opponents. He passed the ball once to Paul who made a theatrical slide, kicking it into the goal and eliciting a cheer from the handful of students who’d gathered to watch the scrimmage. Paul ran over to Aiden and butted him in the chest in celebration. Aiden’s eyes flew open with surprise and he nearly toppled over backward. Paul started cracking up and Aiden quickly joined in until they were both doubled over with laughter like a couple of dorks. When the game was over, Aiden started walking toward me and Paul followed.
“Aiden, you wanna go get a pizza and a beer? There’s a great place in town. You know, if you’re not doing anything.”
Aiden started to decline and I was quick to interrupt.
“I have a ton of reading to do before tomorrow, so you guys go ahead.”
Aiden didn’t look convinced.
“I’ll be fine. Have fun,” I said.
Finally, he nodded and accepted his shirt back from me, then pulled me into a light kiss before slipping it over his head.
“Je te verrai demain après ta classe de français, ma chèrie.”
“Ok, I’ll see you tomorrow after class,” I responded to him in French, secretly thrilled he’d gotten the message that I needed a little space. Paul watched us with a curious smile on his face.
As I turned and walked toward the dorm, I heard Paul say to Aiden, “You know, Jen’s taking French. Maybe you could teach me some… uh, things to say to her, if you get my drift.”
Aiden laughed softly behind me and replied, “Aye, fair enough, if you’ll buy the beer.”
Smiling, I shifted the backpack on my shoulder and caught movement out of the corner of my eye. Up ahead, Micah’s friend, Derek, was leaning casually against a tree, rolling a pocketknife through his fingers like he’d done it a million times before. His bottom lip was swollen with a wad of chewing tobacco. He was still wearing all black, but now I noticed his jacket had strange symbols burned into the leather. As the blade flicked over his hand, he stared a hole straight through me. A chill swept down my spine and all of a sudden, I regretted telling Aiden to go with Paul. I fought the urge to turn around and call him back.
I threw Derek my best haughty look and the corner of his mouth crept up in a cold smile, like he was considering whether or not to hurl the knife in my direction. He turned his chin to one side, spitting a rusty streak of chew on the ground, his eyes never leaving mine. As I passed by, he straightened and snapped the pocketknife closed, earning a startled squeak from me. I hurried into the dorm without looking back.
Chapter 20
I called my Dad to tell him about the engagement, though I figured he already knew since Aiden had asked for his blessing the day they went fishing. He said he was happy for us, but I thought I heard a note of wistfulness in his voice. When I told him what I had planned for the wedding, he made exaggerated choking noises on the phone.
“You are your mother’s daughter, aren’t you? She’s going to have a field day with this. She always did love spending my money.”
Guilt pressed me into the floor and I bit my lip, feeling the dream wedding slip through my fingers.
“I’m sorry. You’re right. I probably shouldn’t have even—“
“No,” he cut me off. “I’m just an old man grousing. Don’t mind me. You only get to do this once, so it might as well be just how you want it.”
“Really?” I squeaked out, feeling like a little girl on Christmas morning, opening the present I wanted so badly.
“Yes, really. What good is money if I can’t spend it on the ones I love most?”
I started bouncing up and down, excitement coursing through me. “Thanks, Dad! Ooh, I can’t wait to call Mom and tell her.”
His response was quick and sharp, which caught me by surprise.
“Don’t you dare, Lindsey Marie. It would break your mother’s heart to hear news like this over the phone. I knew it was coming because Aiden asked for your hand. And call me old fashioned, but I think a lot of the kid for waiting to ask you until he’d talked to me. Your mother deserves to hear it from you in person, and she’s going to want to meet Aiden, too.” The fatherly reproach in his tone offered no room for protest.
“You have a car now, so why don’t you and Aiden come up this weekend and stay with me? He can use the guest room. Call your mother and make plans to go out to dinner, and you can tell her then. If you’re going to do this, young lady, I want you to do it right.”
I promised him I would and told him I loved him, then hung up and stared at the phone, wondering what my mom would make of Aiden.
~
On Wednesday afternoon, I finished tutoring Craig, my first-year French student, and encouraged him to practice his verb conjugations. “Better work on both formal and informal variations, because you know she’s going to test you on that.”
Craig rolled his eyes in mock exasperation but thanked me as he gathered up his books. “You’re really good at French, Lindsey. I hope I can learn to speak it as good as you do someday.” I gave him an encouraging smile, trying not to let on that I had serious doubts about his ability to pass the class, let alone move forward into the advanced levels.
Aiden appeared at the door of the tutoring center. Seeing me with Craig, he made a beeline over to him and promptly launched into a friendly welcome—in flawless French.
Craig’s eyes grew wide and he swallowed hard, little beads of perspiration dotting his brow. “Um, bonjour. Je m’appelle Craig. Comment allez-vous?”
I winced at his stilted pronunciation of such rudimentary sentences, but Aiden smiled at him with such kindness that I couldn’t help but be drawn in.
“Bonjour, Craig. Je m’appelle Aiden. Je suis très bien, merci. Et vous?”
Craig responded that he, too, was fine and straightened up with pride at having understood Aiden’s question. He flashed a grin at me and gave Aiden a quick wave goodbye with “au revoir” added as an afterthought.
I laughed when he was gone, shaking my head at Aiden. “How do you do that?” I asked, putting my materials in my backpack.
“Do what?” he replied.
I looked at him in wonder, realizing he really had no idea what I meant. “You can make friends with people in ten seconds flat without even trying. Craig looked at you just now like you’re a superhero. And what about Paul? You’ve only been around him a couple of times and already, I think he likes you better than Micah, who’s been his roommate for two years.”
He shrugged and picked up my bag, slinging it over his shoulder. “‘Tis no great mystery, lass. You just have to pay attention and listen. Be more interested in hearing than in being heard. People love to talk about themselves and if ye stay quiet long enough to let them, they’ll think you’re their best friend. You can learn a great deal that way, too.” He winked at me and then walked quietly by my side as I thought about what he said.
When we’d made our way out of the building, the afternoon sky had grown dark with rain clouds and a light drizzle was coloring the si
dewalk with wet, grey splotches. It wasn’t quite time for dinner yet and I was feeling antsy, like I needed to burn off some energy.
“Hey, do you want to go swimming with me?” I asked.
“Where? I don’t know of any lakes around here. And the weather’s set to turn a bit nasty besides.” He squinted up at the sky and wrinkled his nose.
“No, I mean at the pool. We can swim lanes and then sit in the hot tub to relax. Remember, I bought you that suit and you haven’t even worn it once. Come on, it’ll be fun.”
He agreed, but couldn’t resist noting that it was more fun to swim with me without a suit.
We drove the few minutes over to his place to get his suit and then ran up to my dorm room so I could grab my things. By the time we got everything together and headed over to the fitness center, it was dinnertime and students were streaming into the dining hall, their coats tucked around their ears as they hurried to get out of the rain. It was just as well, I thought, since that meant we might get the hot tub all to ourselves. My mind went off on a little tangent and I had to push the thought aside before Aiden saw the blush on my face.
After showing him where the men’s locker room was, I told him I’d meet him at the pool and headed off to change. The locker room was empty, which was a relief since I hated changing in front of other people. I shoved my clothes into a locker and grabbed the key along with a couple of towels.
Aiden was standing at the edge of the pool, looking over the expanse of water with a bemused expression until he saw me come in. His lips pressed together in a tight frown.
“What?” I asked, seeing the look on his face.
“Just because I like to swim with you naked doesn’t mean I want everyone else to,” he whispered.
I looked down at my one-piece suit, which hardly even showed any cleavage. “I am not naked,” I said as patiently as I could manage. “This is a perfectly respectable suit. Just get in and then no one will see it anyway.” He harrumphed at me, displeased, but got in the water.
