by Tefft, Cyndi
“I left him for Nick because I wanted more. I wanted excitement and adventure, and Nick was all those things. He was mysterious and forbidden, and now I have to wash his socks and fold his goddamned underwear and cook him dinner just like I did with your father and yet he doesn’t even know me!” Her voice was shaking and filled with pain as her eyes sought mine for understanding. She slumped down next to me dejectedly and was quiet for a long time while she drew heavily on her cigarette. When she finally spoke again, her voice was no more than a whisper.
“I was a fool to think there was more out there, and I threw away what I had to chase a dream. And now what have I got? No passion, no excitement, and a man who neither knows nor cares that I don’t like white wine.”
I reached out and touched her hand, and she jerked slightly in surprise as if she had forgotten I was there.
“It’s not too late. Dad is still in love with you. He told me so. Just tell him how you feel.”
She smiled briefly but shook her head. “No. I saw the look in his eyes when I left him, like I’d knifed him through the heart. And the things we’ve said to one another over the last year… No. To tell the truth, it’s probably not them at all; it’s me. I need to find out who I am without them. I was just learning what it was like to be away from my parents when I met your father and got pregnant with you. And I went straight from Gary to Nick, so I’ve never really been on my own.”
She turned to me then, her eyes streaked red and glistening with unshed tears. “Are you sure you’re ready to get married, Lindsey? You could wait a while and take some time to find yourself first, you know.”
The sudden change of topic startled me, but I met her eyes with a quiet confidence. “I know who I am, Mom. Aiden doesn’t change that. He adds to it.”
She nodded, thinking. “You’re a big girl now, and I have to let you make your own mistakes.”
I stood up and looked down at her. “It’s not a mistake for me, Mom. I love him.”
She pulled herself up and crushed her cigarette in the tray next to the bench. “I know, baby. I know.” She brushed a curl behind my ear and cupped my cheek with her palm, then pulled me into an embrace. “I love you, sweetheart. And if you’re happy, I’m happy.” She gave me a brave smile and took a deep breath, straightening up and locking the façade back into place. “But we’d better get back in there or they’re going to send out a search party for us.”
Mom made us stop by the condo Sunday morning in order to take my measurements before we drove back to the college. I gave her a sketch I’d drawn of the wedding dress I wanted and she studied it thoughtfully.
“We’ll be pushing it to get it made in time, but we can make it happen. What do you want your colors to be?” she asked and I replied, “Green and gold.” She murmured agreement, then started mumbling to herself, probably making a mental checklist of all the things that needed to be accomplished between now and then.
Aiden looked at me, confused. “And what’s this about colors, then? Colors of what?”
“Green and gold are the colors I want for the wedding decorations and for the bridesmaids’ dresses. You know, green—to match your kilt.”
His face brightened. “You want me to wear my kilt? I’m delighted, but I had in mind that you’d prefer it… well, more American.”
Mom laughed out loud and then tried to cover it with a cough when she caught my glare.
“I love your kilt,” I assured him. “But you’ll have to get a new one. The one you have is a little worse for wear.” I winked at him. “I was thinking Paul and Ian might be groomsmen and wear kilts, too. What do you say? I’ll bet Paul would get a kick out of it, truthfully.”
Aiden laughed then, apparently imagining Paul in a kilt. “Well, I’m none too certain he would, but I’ll ask him, if it pleases ye.”
Mom made me promise to email her the measurements for Jen and Steph so she could get started on putting everything together. When we left, I was humming “Here comes the bride,” knowing full well that Aiden wouldn’t recognize the tune. The wedding preparations seemed to give my mom a renewed sense of purpose and energy and for that, I was infinitely thankful.
Aiden smiled at me as we walked back to the car. “You look happy.”
I couldn’t help the glow on my face as I took his hand in my own and grinned up at him.
“I am.”
Chapter 22
That sense of barely contained glee stayed with me until Tuesday night, when I was doing my work-study job in the game room and Mona came in. I’d been on duty since six o’clock and Aiden had been watching others play pool, taking mental notes on their technique. He told me privately that Uncle Alex had had a billiards table in the château in France, but that the cue sticks had been different, with wedges at the end for pushing the balls around, rather than striking them. He was fascinated with the game and how it had subtly changed from his time, and spent the evening observing the other students and occasionally playing a game himself when the table was free.
When Mona came in, it was nearly ten o’clock and Aiden was practicing his shots while I studied. She made quite an entrance, dropping her bag in the corner with a noisy thud and hanging up her dripping coat. She shook the rain out of her long, dark hair with her fingers and smiled sweetly up at Aiden, who watched her with a bemused expression. Tiny dots of water clung to her lashes, making her eyes seem bright and sparkling.
She was wearing a feminine white dress with a layered, flowing skirt that reached almost to her ankles. As usual, it was cut low in the front and she had on ridiculously high heels, but it was a much softer look than her normal painted-on clothing. With her rain-soaked hair, she was disarmingly unkempt, and the effect was not lost on Aiden, who returned her smile warmly.
“I can’t seem to get used to the rain here. Cold I can handle, but rain? Is it rainy back home for you?” she asked.
“Aye, that it is. Scotland is cold and dank so that you’re wet clear through to the bone many a day. But I wouldn’t change it. ‘Tis my home. And you? Are you homesick, then?”
She came close to him and leaned against the cushioned edge of the table. “Oh, yeah. This place is nice enough, I guess, but it’s got nothing on New York. I mean, it’s a small town and nothing really goes down here. I’m used to more… excitement, if you catch my drift.” She reached out and touched him on the arm, her eyes sweeping over his frame. Before he could react, though, she turned her attention to the table, running her long fingernails over the green felt with tenderness, like a mother stroking her child’s hair.
“Do you play, Scotty?”
I twitched in irritation at her pet name for him.
“Some,” he replied. “Fancy a game?”
She nodded and rounded the table to grab a cue, her eyes devouring him as she rubbed the chalk on the end of the stick. “What’ll you bet? Two to one says I beat you with three balls left on the table.”
Aiden’s mouth twitched in amusement but he shook his head. “Nae, lass, I haven’t any money to be making a wager. But I like your confidence.”
She pulled the balls together into the triangle, arranging them expertly. “That’s okay. You can owe me. I’ll let you make it up to me later.” She shimmied the triangle off so that none of the balls stirred from their places and set it aside. “I’ll even let you break. I like a challenge.” Her eyes flashed at him and her self-satisfied smile was back, but this time Aiden didn’t seem to mind. He grinned at her and then drew his concentration inward as he decided where best to make the first strike.
They hardly spoke as they made their way around the table, alternating shots. Aiden grunted in admiration as she made a particularly impressive bank shot, neatly placing a striped ball between his own and the pocket. I noticed that she brushed past him every time they took turns and that his eyes flickered briefly over the display of her ample cleavage when she’d lean over the table. I put down my textbook since I wasn’t reading it anyway and tried to decide how to best insert
myself into the game, since Aiden had apparently forgotten I was there.
“Scratch!” she cried victoriously when the white ball followed Aiden’s into the pocket. She t’sked at him, shaking her head. “That the best you can do, Scotty?” Her teasing voice was soft and intimate, meant only for him. He bent to retrieve the ball and narrowed his eyes at her, drawn in by her challenge.
The game continued, but the electricity between them had ratcheted up after the last exchange, and she held his eyes locked on to hers as they positioned themselves around the table like prizefighters. He sank a ball and lifted a smug eyebrow at her as if to say, “And what do you think about that?”
She tilted her head in acknowledgment, rubbing her hands up and down the cue stick. Her eyes scanned the green and when his next shot did nothing more than move the balls around the table, she came up next to him and slid her hand down his arm possessively.
“Enough foreplay. Watch and learn.” She bent to her work, her eyes sharp and calculating, and cleanly sunk every striped ball on the table with quick, decisive strokes. Aiden stood against the wall, following her instructions, mesmerized by the efficiency of her movements and the crack of the cue against the balls as she neatly placed them in the pockets, one after the other. When she finished, she came to stand in the tight space between him and the table. She leaned back slightly against the padded edge and looked up at him, one corner of her mouth curved up in amusement and invitation.
“Liked that, did you? I can teach you other things, if you care to learn.”
I jumped up off my chair, unable to keep silent any longer.
Aiden pointed to the table behind her. “‘Twas very impressive, I’ll admit. But you left four balls on the table, not three, as you said. So I suppose I do not owe you after all.”
She studied him for a second and then burst into genuine laughter. It bubbled up from deep within her and transformed her face, softening it with an almost child-like innocence. Tears collected and spilled over the creases of her eyes, running down her cheeks as she laughed, pressing her hands flat against Aiden’s stomach.
“You’re too much. All right then, you got me this time. I won’t be so merciful on the next game, though.” She winked at him and turned to retrieve her cue stick.
“Wow, Mona, you’re really amazing at pool,” I said, forcing a smile. They both jumped as the sound of my voice burst the bubble of intimacy between them. “Unfortunately, it’s closing time, so you’ll have to put a rain check on that second game.” I made gave her my most condescending frown.
She narrowed her eyes at me in distaste, then flung her hair over her shoulder and turned back to Aiden. “Another time, then.” After a quick glare in my direction, she collected her things and went out the door without a backward glance, leaving us alone in the room.
Incensed, I whirled around to Aiden, who was still smiling in her direction.
“What the hell was that?”
His head jerked back in surprise. “‘Twas just a game of billiards, Lindsey,” he replied with a warning tone in his voice.
“Maybe to you, but not to her. Couldn’t you tell she was coming on to you?”
He studied me for a minute, one hand holding the cue stick. “Jealousy isn’t becoming on you, lass. You know that you’ve naught to fear with me. What is it about her that riles you so much?”
I moved around the room, picking up and putting away game accessories while I stammered out a response, not meeting his eye. I couldn’t put words to the way my stomach clenched with irritation whenever she was around.
“She… it’s just… well, she’s always… I don’t know. I just don’t trust her.”
Aiden pulled the cover over the pool table and turned to me, his brows knit together. “Is it Ravi? Perhaps you don’t care overmuch for her because she’s taken over your old beau.”
“No!” I shouted, the sound echoing in the empty room. He raised his eyebrows at me in displeasure. I dropped my voice. “No. It has nothing to do with Ravi. I already told you I don’t have feelings for him. It’s just that she always… ugh. Never mind. Forget it.” I harrumphed and tromped back into the glass-walled office to grab my book bag.
He was the one who’d been flirting so why did I feel like I’d done something wrong, dammit?
When I turned back, he stood in the opening of the door, blocking my way. His voice was clear and steady, and his eyes held mine without apology.
“Lindsey, I know very well you’re intimidated by her body. And aye, she is beautiful.” The baldness of his statement was like a slap across the face. Seeing me blanch, he took my hands in his own and changed his tone. “But you’re the only lass for me. My heart belongs to you, mo chridhe. ‘Tis why I asked you to be my bride, remember?” The sincerity in his voice helped cool my jets, but I wasn’t ready to let him off the hook.
“She wants you, Aiden. I can see it in her eyes.”
He twisted in the doorway, moving swiftly and pressing me against the wall of the office with his body. “It doesn’t matter what she wants. You’re the one that I want.” He kissed me hard, claiming me as his possession, and blotting out all arguments I had about Mona. His hand cupped my breast and he whispered in my ear, “I’d be pleased to show you just how much I want ye, right there on the billiards table. But I don’t want you to lose your job, aye?” He sent me a mental image of his proposition. I flushed when I saw it and raked my fingernails down the front of his shirt.
“I’d love to. But you’re right, I would get fired.”
He laughed and picked up my book bag. “Come, then. I’ll walk ye home, love. Before we do something we shouldn’t.”
Chapter 23
The next weekend, Stephanie, Brandon, and his brother Brian were playing a corporate event in Salem, and she invited us to come. Brian was a little taller than his brother, but otherwise, they could have been twins. They even wore the same black-rimmed glasses. The trio was providing soothing background music at a hotel during the evening, and we tried to blend in with the rest of the guests as we listened to them play. Stephanie was in her element, the bow gliding effortlessly over the strings of her violin. There seemed to be an unspoken connection between the musicians that kept them perfectly in synch without even looking at one another. Their outfits were black and simple so as not to call attention to themselves, but I was fascinated by the vibrant artistry in their pieces. Stephanie had really grown in her skills, even from last year. Pride for my friend swelled in my chest and I wanted to give her a big, fat hug.
After the evening was over, the five of us went out to have dessert and celebrate the success of the event. Spirits were high, and there was an easy camaraderie between Stephanie, Brandon, and Brian that came from playing together all summer. Stephanie seemed oblivious to it, but it was clear to me that Brandon was totally into her. He sat next to her at every opportunity and his eyes lit up when she laughed. I remembered her outburst when I’d suggested that they were dating, though, and kept my mouth shut.
Brian had driven down from Portland for the gig, so we said goodbye to him outside the restaurant. The four of us piled into my car and headed back to the college. I covered a yawn with the back of my hand, since it was nearly one o’clock in the morning. Aiden gave my knee a quick squeeze as he followed suit. Stephanie and Brandon talked animatedly in the back seat like they’d just downed triple mochas. After dropping Aiden off at his place, I drove back to the school. In the parking lot, Brandon gave Steph a brief hug and thanked her again for such a great evening. Her face shone at his words and I thought for a moment I saw something between them, but then he turned and headed off to his dorm. I was so tempted to say something, but she was in a stellar mood and I didn’t want to ruin it.
The night air was cold and damp, and I pulled my coat tight around my shoulders. Steph didn’t seem to notice the chill, though. She was practically glowing. I laughed at her for being wound up like a kid on Christmas morning.
“You guys sounded great, really
. Now I can see why you were such a hot ticket this summer.” I nudged her with one shoulder and she waved off the compliment, grinning from ear to ear. We ascended the torturous flights of stairs to our dorm room, chatting quietly.
Steph’s face changed from euphoria to fear as we rounded the corner and saw Micah sitting in front of the door to our room.
He leapt to his feet, livid. His eyes locked onto hers as he hissed, “Where the hell have you been?”
She stared at him, paralyzed. “I... I told you, I had the gig with Brandon and Brian in Salem tonight.”
The tremor in her voice made my blood run cold. I started to say something, but Micah cut me off as if I wasn’t there.
“Brandon! How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t want you hanging out with him?” He grabbed her arm and she made a muffled sound of surprise.
“Hey!” I said, but he dragged her off to the stairs before I could stop them. I stared after them, openmouthed, unsure of what to do.
A couple hours later, Steph finally came back and crawled into bed. I woke up when she came in and I wanted to say something to her, but I knew it wasn’t the right time. Instead, I lay staring up at the bottom of Jen’s bunk bed and prayed until her breathing slowed and she fell asleep.
I tried to talk to Aiden about it over dinner at his place the next night, but he wasn’t much help.
“Did he hurt her?” he asked.
“Well, no. I mean, he just grabbed her arm. But it was the look in his eye and the tone of his voice more than anything. She was afraid of him.”
He took a deep breath and held it, choosing his words carefully. “You know that I don’t care overmuch for Micah, but I can also see his point. Brandon does have an eye for Stephanie—you saw it yourself. Were I in Micah’s shoes, I wouldn’t like her spending so much time with him, either. Now mind you, I wouldn’t have gone about it the same way, but Micah’s none so bright, aye?”
