“Henry, I’m having a really tough time following this conversation,” I said.
“Okay,” he said. “Look. I kinda have a thing for you,” he finally admitted, causing me to begin panicking on the inside. “And I just wanted to be sure that you were, you know, a lesbian and all that. The way you told me about it last week, it just seemed kinda… uncertain, I guess.”
“I don’t know, Henry,” I said, looking from side to side, wishing that Hosannah would rejoin us and get me out of this jam.
“All right,” he said, the confusion obvious in his face. I was doing an abysmal job at talking to this boy who was most certainly admitting his feelings for me. “If you’re unsure, or whatever, or on the fence, or maybe you’re, like, bisexual?” he said. “I don’t know. But maybe when we get back to school, you and I could hang out sometime?”
I really didn’t know how to respond to anything that Henry was asking me. I knew what he was asking, but I just couldn’t figure out how to feel what he asking, if that makes any sense. I’m sorry if it doesn’t. My only goal in that particular moment was to get out of there, the fight or flight response resonating inside of me and my body desperately opting for flight.
“Okay,” I heard myself say aloud. What was I agreeing to? In my head it felt like there was a buzzer going off, some sort of alert trying to tell me “no, Natasha, in fact you don’t like boys and you’re totally smitten with Hosannah.” But there was a strange disconnect between my mind and body and with my body frozen, standing there outside the playhouse, waiting for Hosannah to return, it was seemingly willing to do whatever it took to avoid conflict and keep things smooth.
“Okay?” Henry repeated, a pleasantly surprised smile moving over his face. “Cool,” he said, nodding his head. “All right, that’s great Natasha. Maybe we could hang out sometime this week. I’ll stop by your room.”
“All right,” I squeaked, beginning to feel bad but trying not to let it show.
“Cool,” he said again, reaching out and giving my elbow a soft squeeze. And with that, Henry offered me one more smile before turning away and beginning his walk back to a group of ALOHA students a couple yards away.
I couldn’t move. My eyes simply darted around either side, searching for Hosannah, wishing I hadn’t just agreed to what seemed like a date with Henry. I don’t know why I found it so hard to be honest, to convey my feelings, to just be frank with people. And how would I express this all to Hosannah? I wasn’t sure. For the time being, I felt it most appropriate to just forget what happened with Henry, to focus on spending time with Hosannah, and to enjoy the rest of the trip. I was eager for the evening, for the opportunity to be locked away in a hotel room with Hosannah, so I just let my brain settle on that thought.
“Yo,” said Hosannah, finally returning to my side. I gave her a relieved smile. “Sacco’s cool. She just wanted to know if we had room for another two people in our reservation because she ran into some old friends at the play.”
“Oh,” I said, nodding, smiling.
“You okay, Tasha?” said Hosannah, lifting her brow.
“Yeah,” I said.
“All right,” she said. “Hey, let’s hit it. I want to explore downtown some more and we should check out the toy store! It’s really cool.”
Hosannah tossed her arm around my shoulders and lead me off from the theater, our feet synching together in their movements, as we sauntered side by side. Looking over for a quick moment, I spotted Henry watching us and the confusion of it all began to get the better of me.
*
Our night in Stratford was coming to a close. West Side Story was a blast, though I felt a little awkward and out of place at the pizza restaurant. Hosannah and I sat near Sacco, her wife, and some of their friends, but I didn’t do much talking. I tried to just focus on my pizza and keeping to myself, all the while avoiding eye contact with Henry who sat a ways down the table from us. Once we returned to the hotel from dinner, I began to feel more relaxed.
I immediately ran up to the hotel room while a sizable chunk of our party hung around the lobby to remain social. Hosannah tried to get me to stay, but I needed a recharge and she understood. When we were sure that nobody was looking, hiding behind a pillar in the lobby, Hosannah kissed me tenderly and told me that she would come to the room soon enough, after she’d socialized a bit and shadowed Sacco. I knew that even though she was far more extraverted than me, she too was eager to keep this more private and retire once she’d fulfilled her perceived duties.
Even though it really wasn’t that late after dinner, only nine, I did my usual bedtime preparations and crawled into bed with my Kindle. I really wasn’t sure what would happen between Hosannah and I that evening, even though I’d been imagining it all day. I was impatient to kiss her and to touch her pale skin, but at the same time I didn’t know how to take charge of anything, like, sexually, so I just decided to try to go with the flow and see where it took me.
I thought back to the suggestive comments I had made toward Hosannah on the bus and I grinned happily to myself. I couldn’t really focus on my book. I knew what I wanted and I just wished I could externalize it better. My mind furiously made all these connections, leaping from one thought to the next in an excited reverie as I stared off into space. And then, interrupting my daze, I heard the door handle click. I felt a giddy excitement as I then listened as the door swung open.
Hosannah traipsed into the room with a smile on her face and spring in her step. She waved to me dramatically and opened her mouth to show her teeth.
“Girl!” she exclaimed, having fun. “You missed out!”
“I don’t think I did,” I said, feeling much more at ease now that Hosannah was there. Just something about her being near me calmed my anxious mind.
“You did,” she assured me, walking between the two beds and approaching me. “I can’t believe you’re already tucked in for the night. What about me?” she said with a fake pout. Suddenly she reached down to the blanket and pulled it off of me, revealing underneath that I was lying there only in my tank top and panties.
“Ah!” I exclaimed, desperately reaching for the blanket, ripping it from her grasp, trying to cover myself back up. Hosannah just laughed at me and gripped tightly on my knee over top of the blanket causing me to squirm and giggle.
Hosannah just had this way of sending me speeding through my emotions. I loved every minute of it.
“Are you going to let me in there with you?” she purred, pawing lightly at the blanket again, this time not ripping it off but simply pretending that she might.
“Maybe,” I cooed, feeling trepidation and slightly rattled. I could feel my heart rate increasing.
“Let me go brush my teeth,” she said, her feet sliding over the carpet and toward the bathroom. “Don’t fall asleep!”
I listened in as Hosannah went through her nightly bathroom routine and I excitedly considered what we might do next. She and I had spent a few nights together over the last week and a half, and while I would say things got hot and heavy, Hosannah touching me between my legs over my clothing, massaging my breasts as we made out, that kind of stuff, I was fairly certain that it was time to kick things up a notch. The more I dwelled on it, the more excited I got, and I even began to feel myself grow damp underneath my panties. I tried to calm myself as I heard Hosannah shut off the sink in the bathroom, taking one long and deep breath as I anticipated her return.
“Hello,” said Hosanna, peeking out at me from around the corner. I could see a devilishness in her eyes, those little blue orbs spying on me while the rest of her body remained hidden.
“Hi,” I said, pulling the blanket up tightly to my neck.
“You are so cute over there,” she mused. “God, you just drive me crazy.”
“Why don’t you come over here with me?” I asked, feeling jitters in my voice. Never had I felt more sexual unease, that simultaneous feeling of, “Oh God, this is going to happen!” and “Oh God, is this going to happen?”
Excitement and fear all wrapped up together.
“Okay,” said Hosannah in an ambivalent voice, playing the part of the innocent one. Stepping out from behind the wall, Hosannah revealed herself wearing only a tight t-shirt, the curve of her breasts obvious underneath, and a little pair of pale pink bikini cut panties. Her bare legs looked long and pale, stemming up from the over-designed carpet of the hotel room floor. She was cute and gorgeous and charming and all those wonderful things wrapped up into one amazing girl.
Hosannah sashayed over to me, grinning in the low orange light of the room, her hips bouncing back and forth as she walked. I appraised her up and down, my nerves causing my legs to shake underneath the blanket. The smile on my face as I watched her come near was goofy and I almost bust out in the giggles.
“Are you gonna let me in there?” she said, indicating toward the blanket, still held tightly against my face. After a moment, I loosened my hold on the edge of the blanket and opened it up slightly.
Hosannah quickly reached down and pulled the blanket open, she leapt into the bed next to me with a joyful laugh, and then pulled the blanket back over the two of us. Turning toward me, she pushed her hands out and began to run them all over my body in sudden and swift movements, half caressing me and half tickling me. I started squirming and laughing, reveling in the attention from my dear Hosannah.
After a bit more light horseplay, Hosannah’s method of breaking the ice, she pushed herself up against me and attached her lips to mine. The mood changed abruptly from lighthearted fun to erotic and sensual. I loved kissing her and I impatiently returned her passion, wrapping my arms around her near her lower back, letting my fingers fall to the thin fabric of her stretchy panties.
“You’re so pretty,” mused Hosannah between adoring kisses. She had her warm hands up the sides of my tank top and was running her palms along my sides. Hosannah kissed my forehead, my nose, my cheeks, and then my lips. Our noses rubbed together and we continued our kiss, even though we both had irrepressible smiles on our faces.
“I’m nervous,” I quietly whined. I felt Hosannah’s hand trace up the back of my top, fingers running over my skin, while her other hand dropped to my panties and tugged at the elastic band. She was still showering me in sweet, slow kisses.
“I’ll be kind,” said Hosannah, pulling back from our kissing, looking me in the eyes. “If it gets a little too intense or feels like something you can’t handle, just tell me to stop. Cool?”
“Mm hmm,” I said, nodding in innocent agreement.
“How does this feel?” she asked sinlessly as I felt her hand snake between my thighs and begin to caress me over the top of my panties. I closed my eyes and hummed a pleasured sigh, feeling a wonderful sense of appreciation course through my body. The room was quiet but for the subtle noises coming from either of our mouths, our breaths becoming labored, our lips smacking together with growing intensity.
“Good,” I chirped, my body reflexively squirming as I became acclimated to Hosannah’s heavy petting. I found myself growing damp pretty quickly as she fondled, a warm humidity intensifying between my legs.
“I love your hair,” said Hosannah, smiling with lusty eyes at me. While her one hand methodically petted me down below, her other hand graciously ran through my dark red hair, pushing it out of my face, and finding a place for it behind my ear. I starred into her eyes, feeling each beat of my heart, my senses heightened, hypnotized by how loved she made me feel as she touched me.
It was a wonder to me that I had made it to 18 years old and never come this far with somebody else. Why had I put it off so long? What was I scared of? As Hosannah continued to press her body into mine, to run her fingers over the front of my increasingly damp underwear, I was positively beaming with conviviality, joyous and actualized, suffused in intoxicated infatuation. I was crushing hard and loving every second of it.
The intensity I was feeling was interrupted by a stifled giggle from Hosannah. I opened my eyes and looked at her, her face glowing with happiness.
“Sorry,” she said. “You just look so happy and it’s making me slap-happy.”
“Just keep touching me,” I whimpered, lowering my hand to hers and pressing her palm against my underside.
“Do you want to take these off?” Hosannah murmured, planting a single tender kiss on my lips as she gave the waistband of my panties a little pull.
“I guess,” I said trepidatiously.
“Okay,” she said, kissing me on the forehead. Hosannah took hold of my panties on either side, threading her fingers into the elastic, and began to slide the fabric down. I took a deep breath and held it as she did this, nervous and excited by this entirely new experience, letting her lead the way. I could feel the moist material pull away from my flesh as she lowered my panties and to assuage any fears I might possibly be feeling, Hosannah tenderly kissed me on my neck.
Soon I was naked from the waist down, my underwear heaped somewhere by our feet and under the covers, Hosannah laying half on top of me as our sensual make out session resumed. I dropped one arm around her limber body, resting my hand on her butt, enjoying her attentions. Then I felt it. Hosannah’s hand pushed between my thighs and rubbed me gently, her palm against my fur, her fingers running over my wet flesh. I moaned softly and dropped my head to one side on the pillow. She kissed my ear.
Hosannah’s fingers glided over me with ease, her fingertips parting my lips and tracing along the pinkness inside. My head was swimming, feeling a carnal pleasure that before this moment I had never felt. I heard myself groan, my mouth falling open just slightly, succumbing to Hosannah’s expert touches and giving my body over to her.
“Slippery,” mused Hosannah with a soft laugh as she stroked me. I offered a nervous laugh in response. “Can I continue?” she asked with sincerity, intent to go at my naive pace.
“Yes,” I said in a whisper.
After her fingers rubbed me a few more times back and forth, I felt Hosannah part her fingers and guide one of them toward my tightness. I breathed and I relaxed, enthusiastic that this was finally happening, concentrating on the moment until I finally felt her finger slowly begin to enter me. Of course, I had felt myself do this before, but there was something far different about it when somebody else was at the helm. There was a precipitous lack of control, a crazy uncertainty that drove me wild in a way I had never experienced. I melted into Hosannah’s touch, feeling my hips sway just slightly as she began pumping her wrist back and forth, deliberate in her motions, that single finger entering and exiting me with aqueous fervor.
“Is that okay?” she hummed into my ear, her finger still methodically penetrating me.
“Yeah,” I affirmed through a strained moan. “It’s really nice.”
As Hosannah fingered me, I could feel the part of her finger nearest to her palm rubbing back and forth over my clit, slipping against me through my own moistness. It was mesmerizing. I felt like a thousand little nerve endings were standing on edge, vibrating and purring at Hosannah’s insistence. The entire performance so was beguiling that before I knew it, Hosannah had brought a second finger along with her first, causing me to feel a nice stiff pressure, my insides feeling constricted against her digits.
“Oh God,” I automatically called, placing one hand on Hosannah’s shoulder, my face scrunching up as I tripped through the pleasure. Whatever she was doing was magical and adept, and she was easily shepherding me toward the apex of my bliss.
I’d never felt so close to somebody before. My favorite part of all this was that it felt like I was losing my virginity. It wasn’t simply some sort of back and forth transaction, some sort of logical exchange, it was a true profound feeling. Like I was fundamentally changed and happily so. I could think of no better way for this to happen to me. There I was, in a hotel room in Canada, secreted away with a wonderful girl just a couple years older than me, a beautiful mentor, amid clean white sheets of a starched hotel bed, low orange lamps, my neck being kissed, my body being manipulated
, my head abuzz in drunken passion. I was so happy, almost too happy if that’s possible, and as I celebrated it all in my mind I didn’t notice my body reflexively quivering until it was impossible not to notice.
“Mmm,” I moaned, tossing my head side to side, feeling it all build up inside of me. Hosannah remained vigilant and disciplined, a lusty and glazed-over smile on her lips, her dark hair a mess and obscuring her face slightly. She was obviously loving this and eager to show me the way toward ecstatic completion.
“Relax,” she purred, kissing me, seeing how strained and tight I was getting. I followed her order and instantly felt like I was losing control, a feeling that often frightened me. But with her there with me, I felt safe. I felt loved.
My thighs began to judder, my butt squirming down against the sheets underneath, and the warmth between my legs suddenly started to make me feel impossibly heated. I gave in to Hosannah, widening my hips, bucking softly up and down, my mouth agape and drooling slightly. I was there. I could feel it all and I was there.
Hosannah held me as I shivered and shook in her arms, my feet kicking at the blanket, legs pumping, squealing in delight. I opened my eyes wide, seeing Hosannah there above me, lovingly returning my gaze, and I couldn’t help myself as I started to laugh. Inside I felt like I was tumbling, like there was no ground below me and I was simply falling. But it wasn’t like one of those falling dreams that can be confusing and scary, it was more like I was falling in a slow float, dissolving down into the bed as little tremors of electricity coursed through my veins and shot out of my fingers and toes.
“Shh,” said Hosannah, hushing me, petting my hair, adoring me. I looked up at her and smiled contently, beginning to feel my body return to my control. Though I still experienced the random and automatic shiver of a limb, I focused on my breathing and my acceptance of what Hosannah had given me.
“Wow,” I said with earnest surprise, causing a joyous titter out of Hosannah. She was tickled by my virginal pleasure and she continued to ardently stroke my moistened and matted fur as she dressed my face in tender kisses.
Dormitory Dearest: A Sweet Lesbian Romance Page 8
