The dragons grumbled something I couldn’t quite understand.
“We understand, Erick,” Eli continued. “But we can’t help feeling a little skeptical at the idea of not using restraints or pain … ever. But you are right. It is not about the power we hold, but the power a sub offers us.”
Sub? Offered power? That didn’t sound like any of the crap Kevin spouted while he held me captive and tortured me. Still, the dragons sounded like they were in favor of pain. Who would volunteer to be beaten by two men at the same time?
I leaned against the door and it creaked. The men below silenced and Erick was in front of me in an instant.
“I thought you still slept, min kjaereste.” He leaned down and kissed my cheek.
His candy-sweet scent filled my lungs and I momentarily forgot the confusion swirling in my brain. I leaned against him as he wrapped his long arms around my body and nuzzled my neck. His very touch brought me peace. How could I think he would also bring pain?
He pulled back suddenly. “What’s wrong?”
I stiffened in his arms. “I … you all sound so angry.” What was I supposed to say? I found your bag of torture items in the closet. Did you plan to use them on me?
“We’re not angry, Bailey. Just loud. ” Eli shouted from below in the living room. “Please forgive our insensitive conversation.”
A snarl cut off Eli’s apology and I couldn’t help the small giggle that escaped. Miles’ disgust for his brother’s politeness was obvious.
No matter how freaked out I was, these men truly acted as if they were just oversized boys.
“You’re laughing.” Erick lifted my chin so our gazes met.
“I don’t understand, either. Those two guys scare the crap out of me, but they are funny when they are together. Miles is so gruff and Eli is so polite and they can’t stand each other for it.”
A chuckle rolled up from Erick’s chest. His lips curved into a smile that showed in his bright, blue eyes. So beautiful. I almost wished I hadn’t seen the bag and didn’t know what he really wanted from me.
He took a deep breath and I saw the ring of scarlet red appear around his blue irises. Hunger. Desire. Need. They all swirled in his gaze, making it even easier to forget what I knew and pretend I was still in heaven with a man who adored me and would never hurt me.
But, I couldn’t. And there was no heaven for me. No matter how badly I wanted it. And I did want it. The wetness between my thighs validated my desires.
“There will be time for us to play later, kjaere. I promise. First, come eat. You missed your evening meal. I don’t want you feeling weak.”
“Especially since you are feeling hungry,” I threw back, trying to mask my anxiety. I knew he could probably still smell it, but I could at least try to hide it.
He flashed a wicked grin, making my insides melt and the self-cleaning panties work overtime. I was crazy about him, but scared what he wanted from me would be more than I could give.
He took my hand and led me down the stairs. “You both can leave now,” he said as we stepped off the last stair. “I think she’s heard quite enough.”
Eli stepped forward first. “We were—.” He paused, licking his lips and giving me a once over that would’ve made the boldest whore blush.
I pulled the robe tighter.
“Leaving.” He snapped his jaw shut, grabbed his brother by the shoulder, and hauled them both through the door. Miles grumbled until the door shut behind them and I turned, glancing up to Erick.
His eyes were darker and the red ring around the iris was bright.
“Was he okay?”
“Yes, that was just Eli making a smart choice.” Erick chuckled. “Now, let’s get you something to eat before I strip you right here where you stand.” His smiled faded and he cocked his head to the side. “Something is still bothering you … how much did you hear at the top of the stairs?”
“Enough to know that you probably want to use that bag up in your closet.” There. I’d just thrown it out into the open. Until seeing that bag, I thought Erick had been honest with me. I wanted that back. I wanted him to tell me it was a mistake. That he hadn’t used that stuff in years and didn’t care if he ever did again.
A snarl tore from his throat and his fangs descended. Then he sighed and sank down onto the couch, letting his head rest in his hands. He stayed like that for several minutes and I just stood … waiting.
Regret surged through me. I’d just ruined the best thing I’d had going for me. I wanted him. I was pretty sure I loved him. But I was terrified of what he might want from me. Being beaten in the name of affection was not something I could go through again.
He would end it before he would hurt me. I knew it in my heart. All that was left was to say goodbye. “I’m sure Calliope or Rose can find me somewhere else in town to stay.”
Another snarl came from his chest. His blue eyes flashed completely red, power radiating from him like heat from a furnace. “No! You are mine.”
Instead of being scared, like I should’ve been, I recognized his outburst as raw pain. The agony in his voice, over the thought of losing me, pulled at my heart. I wanted to be his. I liked belonging to him. I wanted him to strip me naked right there and take me. I wanted to forget about everything else and just be with him, but I couldn’t.
“I can’t be yours, if that bag is what you want.”
“I don’t care about the fucking bag, Bailey. Didn’t you hear me tell Miles that? I want you, no matter what.”
“But he said you’re a Dom. Doesn’t that mean—?”
“It means a lot of things. Things you don’t understand. Things that your ex didn’t understand. He was an abusive asshole that used objects to hurt you.”
“Those things are what hurt me!”
“No, he hurt you. The whip didn’t get up of its own accord and hit you. He hit you.”
“I don’t want to like those things, Erick. I don’t ever want to see or feel whips or cuffs again. The thought of them makes my skin crawl and my stomach heave. It’s bad enough there’s a club literally down the street run by your friends.” This conversation was going somewhere I’d been afraid to go with him since I found out about the Castle. Found out he was friends with the two men who ran it. Saw how familiar the Sisters were with him when we visited the other day. “You’ll miss it. If you settle for me.”
“Bailey,” he answered. “I’m not settling. If I never do another scene, it won’t matter as long as you are happy. But …”
Here it was. The catch.
“I will be very honest with you. I want to work through some play scenes to help eliminate your anxiety. You shouldn’t fear objects. It is only the people behind the objects that hold the true power.”
A tear rolled down my cheek. Why was he asking me this? I just said I couldn’t do it. “I can’t.”
“Do you trust me?”
I did. “Yes, but—.”
He grabbed my hand and tugged me to his lap. “No pain, kjaere. Not even the slightest pinch unless you ask me for it. I give you my word.”
Then what was the point? Isn’t that what the kink was about? Pain? Taking pleasure in hurting the person you had power over? “But … I don’t get it. What could we do that wouldn’t hurt? Everything Kevin ever did hurt.” A lot. I had the scars and healed broken bones to prove it.
Erick’s arms gently squeezed me tighter and he kissed the top of my head again. “I’ll kill him, kjaere. When I see him. I’ll rip out his heart while it still beats and feed it to him.”
I didn’t consider myself a mean person. Or cruel and vengeful. But the picture Erick had just painted filled me with a strange sense of calm. I wanted Kevin dead. I’d wanted it the second I decided to leave that bus station with Erick. It was the only way my torture would end. The only way I could move forward from the horrors of my past and have any kind of future.
He was right. I shouldn’t have to live in fear of objects. When he spelled it out that way, I could see
it for the crazy it was. But letting those particular objects anywhere near my body was still going to be astronomically hard. I trusted Erick to keep me safe and not to break his word, but I would be trapped. There was no recourse once the chains went on. Mercy was something I’d cried for and hoped to get from Kevin, but never did. Everything inside me said not to give a man that much power willingly again.
I’d learned the hard way that life has no guarantees.
“These activities … would they happen here or at the Castle?”
“It needs to be there. You fear it because of what it is.”
“Would I be chained?”
“No.”
“We’re not going to have sex in front of anyone, right?”
“No.” He spoke slowly. “Unless you ask for that.”
Unless I ask. Wow. Most of me was terrified, but there was this little corner of my brain that wanted to know what he thought he could do to get me past my fears. And part of me wanted to get past them.
“Can I think about it?”
“Of course.” He kissed me softly and a low moan rumbled in his throat, almost like the purr of a lion. Pleasure sparked through my body as he ran one of his hands up my thigh. Then he jerked back and shook his head, like he was trying to wake from a trance. “I promised to feed you. Be right back.” He set me on the cushion next to him and got up.
His body moved silently from the living room to the kitchen. Even though he was fully clothed, I could appreciate the beauty of his broad, muscular shoulders, tapered waist, and tight butt. Damn, those jeans really did fit perfectly. Definitely owed Calliope a huge thank you for the bountiful view in front of me.
He disappeared around the corner and I moved to follow him into the cool, dimly lit kitchen. A shiver ran up my spine as my bare feet touched the slate tile on the floor. My eyes adjusted to the dark and I grinned at the nice view of his frame. He was bent over, digging in the refrigerator, his body silhouetted by the light. Mostly what I could see was a nice view of his ass.
“There’s grilled chicken breasts. Bella put some fresh bread in here for you and a few other vegetables, too. How about I make you a sandwich?”
My brain took several seconds to register the question, but I still didn’t speak.
“Bailey, please. Try to focus on something else or you aren’t going to get anything to eat right now.” He groaned and closed the fridge door holding an armful of groceries.
“Sorry. Bad pheromones.” I grinned and snapped my attention to his face. For now I was willing to forget what I knew he wanted from me. Right now, it didn’t matter. I’d almost died today. All I wanted was to have his arms around me again. Feel him inside me.
“Yes, very bad pheromones.” A glint of amusement flickered in his eyes, but he hid it quickly. Flip the switch by your shoulder, please.” He nodded his head toward the wall and I moved my hand in the dark until I felt the small lever.
Light flooded the kitchen from the stainless steel lamps hanging from the ceiling. I blinked a few times and then rubbed my eyes and leaned against the opposite side of the counter where he’d dropped all the sandwich stuff.
“Erick,” I pleaded. I wasn’t going to last. My appetite for food had vanished. All I could think about was being with him. I prayed he would get past the “feeding me” thing and let me eat afterward. My face was hot, my palms were damp, and I could feel my pulse in my sex. “Please.” I tried again.
The desperation in my voice should’ve been embarrassing, but it wasn’t. All I was waiting on was a nod or a look or anything that said I could leap into his arms. He was holding himself back. I knew he was.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
A moment later I was in his arms and pushed up against the kitchen wall with a soft thud. Even in the midst of his passion, he could be gentle. I didn’t need to fear him or whatever he had planned for me. My heart wanted to think he might one day love me, but I was a human and he was a vampire. It wasn’t in the stars for us to be together for long, but perhaps I could have a short time in heaven with him on earth.
I sighed as he trailed his lips up my neck, over my jawline, and then crushed his mouth over mine. He plunged his tongue inside and swept it through my mouth. His hands slid down to my ass and he squeezed before pulling my legs out from under me and guiding them around his waist. My pussy throbbed against his hard cock and I locked my ankles behind his back. He was so strong that he held me in place with little effort.
I reached down between our bodies and fumbled with his pants until they came undone. He pushed them down, along with his boxers, until his cock sprang free.
The robe came open easily, leaving only my soaked panties between him and my swollen pussy. I couldn’t get them off though, not with my legs firmly clasped around his waist.
“You are amazing,” he growled, pulling his mouth from mine.
I watched his eyes turn from their normal bright blue to the color of midnight rimmed with scarlet. “You make me feel again, kjaere. Things I never thought to find with another woman as long as I lived.”
How do I respond to that? I can’t blurt out that I’m falling in love with him. Not when I know I’ll have to leave. Not when I know he won’t be satisfied with what I can give him. My broken soul and body would never be enough.
I wanted to stay with him, though. I wanted to tell him he made me feel safe and loved and valued. Something I hadn’t felt in a really long time. And something I wanted to keep feeling. I wanted to tell him I loved his overprotective nature. Craved it, even.
“I need you. Please,” I whispered. Those four words were all I could get out.
His hand slipped between my legs tore my panties from my body like they were made of tissue. A shiver ran through me as I anticipated him filling me. He shifted me against the wall and used his hand to guide his length to my wet and wanting opening. The tip brushed my slick entrance and I moaned as nerves shot streaks of fire throughout my body. I was so warm against his cool, rock-hard body.
More. I wanted more. So much more. I was on the cusp of an orgasm and he wasn’t even inside me yet.
“My beautiful Bailey.” His voice was deep and held a tenderness that shattered what was left of my defenses. He hadn’t said he loved me, but the affection in his words and actions spoke louder than any declaration ever could.
He drove into me, pushing me harder against the kitchen wall. My breasts pressed into his chest and my pussy clamped down hard on his swollen cock as it filled me completely. His mouth went to my neck and I felt the slight pinch as he bit into me.
The sensation of him drinking was just enough to push me over the edge and my orgasm came crashing down on us both like huge waves in a storm. I cried out and clung to him as he pumped in and out, driving me higher and higher, all the while drinking from me, sending delightful sensations throughout my already overstimulated body.
Yes.
It was the only word on my mind as he moved me from the wall and sped us up to the bed I wanted to call mine, if given the chance.
***
I opened my eyes and stretched, groaning at the soreness in my girly parts. Even my nipples were still sensitive. I lifted the sheet gingerly and sat up on the edge of the bed.
Erick asked me last night after making love to me for hours, if he could take me to the Castle today. Of course I’d agreed … to think about it. The man had just plied me with a half-dozen orgasms. Any woman would have said yes to anything he requested.
Like I was really up for “activities” at a BDSM club. I’d almost died yesterday from a stab wound. I wasn’t stupid.
Darius was still out there. Waiting. Watching. Even I knew the fires he was setting all over town were just a distraction to get me alone and separated—vulnerable. I was no stranger to being hunted by a psychopath. The asshole Djinn could get in line. Mostly, I hated that I was putting my new friends in danger. People who barely knew me were fighting to protect me—risking their lives.
Instead of hunting down the c
razy psycho, Erick wanted to go “play” at the Castle. What did he really think he was going to accomplish? He’d promised no pain and no restraints. What was left? Was there any point?
But, I did hate that just the sound of that whip had brought me to my knees. It pissed me off. I wanted to believe I was stronger than that. If there was something Erick could do to help me regain my confidence and lose some of my anxiety, maybe I should give it a try.
After a hot shower, I opened the closet doors to grab a robe. My gaze flew to where the black canvas bag had been. It was gone. In its place were shoeboxes. Every pair Calliope and I had chosen the day before was neatly stacked in rows. A smile spread across my face at his thoughtfulness. When he’d had time to get them I had no idea. He likely snuck them in this morning while I was sleeping.
Then I looked further and realized he’d also hung up every piece of clothing from the bags of things she’d told me I needed to have. I stepped forward and ran my hand along the edges of the beautiful clothes. A tear welled up and ran down my cheek.
He was determined.
Was I going to be able to say goodbye? Years ago, I had accepted that I didn’t get a happy ending. It just wasn’t in the cards for me. Why was Erick torturing me with the hope that it could be different? Kevin wouldn’t let it happen. I wouldn’t stay in Sanctuary if he found me. He’d hurt my friends. Even if he couldn’t do it personally, he’d find a way to ruin this beautiful place.
Taking a deep breath, I took a matching pair of black bra and panties from a small basket he’d put next to the stack of shoeboxes. A little note was stuck at the top in his scribble—not sure where you would want these. I grinned, glad I hadn’t had to hunt through his dresser in the bedroom.
After slipping the perfectly fitting bits of lace into place, I took a pair of soft, denim shorts and an aqua blue tank from the rail. The clothes fit perfectly in moments, as expected. The shorts clung to my ass in a way I knew Erick would appreciate, and the neck of the tank was just low enough to give a peek at the cleavage the bra helped showcase.
My Viking Vampire Page 17
