“Certainly, Kracht! classical case … listen up there … listen!”
We hear the boom boom from Berlin … far in the distance … and then muffled … like echoes … Frau Kretzer’s boom booms … and the walls … and windowpanes …
“Feel the wall Kracht!”
He feels it … it does him good … makes it easier for him to believe me …
“The whole plain has been doing that for months! high-strung woman … those vibrations have thrown her off … in addition to grief for her tunics! … raptus, Kracht! … emotional raptus! … you had nothing to do with it …”
But what about that smoke in the air? hasn’t he noticed? … I open the blind a crack, I’m not making it up … he should see for himself … those-billows up there! … yellow and black … and all coming down on us! … you could tell by the leaves! … as if they’d been painted … and all the bushes, yellow and black … see? … if s true, so help me! …
“Now, Kracht, listen to me! no visitors! her husband and no one else!”
I was perfectly willing to write a report, but how much ice would it cut? … saying I’d observed the patient before, during, and after her attack … that in my opinion she had acted in a “state of trance”… having absorbed larges doses of various toxic substances … that her attack had been followed by prostration … definite slackening of the pulse … 62 … 66 … speech difficulties … attenuated reflexes …
I start writing … on a prescription form with the heading “City of Bezons”… I put in the date …
“Will this do it, Kracht?”
“Ja! … ja! … ja!”
I ask him if the Landrat has disappeared too … no! … Kracht has had news of him … he’s in Berlin! … under the bombs? … yes! … but he’s coming to see us very soon … and not alone! … with Countess von Thorfels … this Pomeranian countess, they keep announcing her advent … first she’s in Moorsburg! … then she’s not! … now she’s in Berlin! … did she actually exist? … yes! Kracht could vouch! … he knew more: she was a big talker and loved the French … another adorer of the French! she spoke our language better man her daughter Inge and better than Harras, better than Marie-Thérèse the heiress, and better than the old man … she’d be really glad to find us here … same here, I thought … she must know a thing or two about all and sundry … maybe we could question her … yes, but first things first! what were we going to tell those bureaucrats downstairs? with all Zornhof shooting their mouths off … we’d make it very clear to them that Frau Kretzer had been momentarily mad … that the things she’d said meant nothing! … that she hadn’t meant to insult the Führer! that both of them … she and her husband … had always been fervent Nazis! … that they had great sorrows, but they’d have given ten sons for the triumph of the Nazi ideas! … of the truth! … however … while we were working things out … I suggested … no sermons! … how about giving them a little party? … that would do the trick… it made sense … they were all hungry, even if they did catch up on their feed in their rooms and cook little chunks of wurst… even so, it wasn’t a meal … a slug of schnapps for a starter! … I bad some in the cupboard, I thought… I hadn’t looked … he thought wine might be better… we’d drink it with the mahlzeit … but where would we get the wine? … he knew … from the cripple’s! … he’d go and ask them, he’d explain that morale was low at the Dienstelle, that three or four bottles of sparkling something would give it a boost … he’d spike the Rhine wine … he had the stuff, a small supply of cola nuts … that would perk them up, they’d be raring to go …
He’s all wound up … I’ll tell them: at least six bottles! … possibility of mutiny, the farm’s in danger …” He asks me what I think of caffeine … in addition to the cola …
“Yes! yes! ja! ja! prima! prima!”
I approve … I’d approve anything to prevent this village … housewives, prisoners, and Gypsies … from taking the manor by storm and cutting everything to pieces including us … always plenty of reasons, innumerable reasons! … the human race is never at a loss, it fucks, procreates, slices and chops, it hasn’t stopped in five hundred million years … since men have been men … homo sapiens! … right and left, you’ll see, con brio! they copulate, populate, and boom! everything explodes! and starts all over again!
Ah, time for the mahlzeit! … here we are! … they’re waiting for us … knowing looks … Kracht doesn’t wait … he opens up … I break in … let me do it! I can speak German well enough to tell them what’s what … “they thought they saw? … they thought they heard? … not true! …” All they saw or heard was a delirious woman, very sick, sick in bed, and she mustn’t see anybody! “ja! ja! ja!” they understand, they agree … the little hunchback serves the soup, everybody two ladles full, plus a pinch of mashed beets … and half a loaf of gray bread … they can ask for seconds … and they do … ja! ja! and the surprise! … Rhine wine! … sparkling! not three bottles, twelve! one apiece! … from under the table! … “reinforced” Rhine wine! prosit! prosit! Kracht on his feet! he raises his glass to the Führer’s health! everybody likewise, the whole table … prosit! prosit! heil! … heil! … morale restored! excellent, confident! … la Kretzer is nuts all right! and they ought to shut her up, sicher! sicher! certainly! they understood me perfectly! … prosit! prosit! another glass! heil! heil! Kracht has some bottles in reserve … generous at the farm! … scared the Dienstelle, would run wild, that the bookkeepers would fly off the handle and mutiny, and go over and cut their throats! my oh my! and plots in the barns! … a bloodbath on their farm! … they’d been very free with their wine!
It was taking effect! … everybody was changing, bookkeepers, girls, old bags! … from pale to scarlet! and prosit! to the Führer’s health! heil! and on their feet! Kracht tries to spring to attention, to raise his arm! he can’t make it … he’s got to hang on … he’s wobbling … but he gets up … the little hunchback … so gentle, so kindly … has an idea … we should go up and give la Kretzer a spanking! smack! smack!
“No! No!”
Kracht’s against it … what he wants is to hit the wall … with his fists … and his head … in time with the bombs! … the boo-ooms on Berlin! … is he funny! they all do the same! … Kracht leaves the wall, sits down again, and takes another drink … right out of the bottle! … they all follow suit! high spirits! … oh! he rips off his little “Adolf” moustache! … it was pasted … not real … teufel! teufel! … the devil! … all he can think ofl devil! devil! and he drinks some more … all this Rhine wine … they’d been used to water … they were all drunk … knocking into the walls … at the same time as Kracht … their morale … the battle was won … really high! I don’t drink, I didn’t touch it, so I know … Lili hadn’t touched their Rheinwein, neither had Le Vig … real foreigners …how they’re kissing … they love each other! … passionately! … men together, women together … all staggering, orgying, loving it up … SS Kracht wants to go out for air … he wants me to take his arm … okay! … easy does it! … we go out to the peristyle … we’re sitting on a stone bench … he stinks of Bheinwein … he’s trying to say something … he says it …
“Destouches! Doctor! ich habe sie gern! … I like you! … good man … decent! … all those people! the whole lot!”
He points to the dining room, the windows …
“Dreck! dreck! scum!”
Does me a lot of good!
He wants to say some more … and for me to listen carefully! … in strict confidence! … okay! …
“Braver mann, Destouches! good man! … vorsicht! careful! Léonard! … Joseph! … alle mörderer! vorsicht! all murderers!”
A savory pair! … I agree …
“Kracht! alle! all of them! mörder! donnerwetter! … thunderation!”
Comical! but now that he’s warned me and kissed me and burst into tears, he’s done all he can … now to something else … he leaves me, he’s going tiirough the woods over there … he shows me …
to the farm … he’s going to rat on us, I bet … tell them I’ve said this … I’ve said that … he’s not walking very straight, I can see that … he’s zigzagging … but he seems to be all right … I don’t go with him … he can tell them what he likes! … who cares? … okay, I go back, I climb up … the peristyle, the stairs … they’re waiting for me … Lili, Le Vig, and Bébert… the rest are dead drunk under the table … I think … they’re snoring … Le Vig asks me what Kracht said …
“Oh, nothing!”
Then what do I think? … that this Zomhof is a rotten hole … that Hams is a thorough stinker … a blasted fat scoundrel! … etc. … etc. … we chew it over … we must have chewed for an hour …
At the end we’d said everything, the pros and cons, it didn’t get us anywhere … we were there, and that was that! … but our messkits? … our routine? … we had to get them filled before nightfall … not very complicated or very dangerous … the bibels’ cook had developed a taste for cigarettes, the English brands, the sergeant too …
They’re expecting us, everything’s fine, we come back by way of the grocery store … I see there’s nobody in the shop, I don’t knock, I go in … I put down six Luckies on the counter … that’ll do! … and I help myself … one … two loaves of bread … I leave twenty marks … twice the price … the grocery woman must see us … she doesn’t show … anyway we haven’t robbed her, we’ll do the same tomorrow, we’ll be back … three houses farther on … the Wirtschaft, the bar … no use showing our faces, all the anti-Nazis, the ferocious anti-collabos are there … they don’t say anything when we pass, but they open the door and ptoo! ptoo! … they spit! long-distance! they’d shoot if they dared … they don’t dare yet … we shouldn’t have come this way … but there’s no other! … a path maybe? … well look … but here we are with our messkits, one for Iago, one for Bébert … in the manor we go down to see the dog, see if he likes his messkit, so Le Vig can get to his pad at the end … Iago’s willing, we give him his good chow, it doesn’t take him long, three slurps … woof! … woof! … I guess we’re pals … Le Vig takes advantage, hightails it to his pad! “okay, now you can sleep!”… and so he does, he lies down … half a second he’s snoring … I go upstairs, Lili’s waiting for me … something new … little Cillie has been there … we’ve been invited to the farm for lunch tomorrow … Lili doesn’t quite get it … she and Cillie had gone up to see Marie-Thérèse, to interpret … Marie-Thérèse would be at the luncheon too … she wasn’t invited very often! there’d be the family and some friends, plus old man von Leiden … Why all these people? … to tell us … Lili, Le Vig, and me … that they need our tower, our cubbyhole for other refugees? … to throw us out? and then what? send us back to Grünwald … or Felixruhe? … you get used to it … but it takes a while … to the idea that you’re in the way wherever you go, that you give off an insufferable smell and really ought to be liquidated … even now I see, I observe, nothing imaginary about it, the same retching look in people who come anywhere near me or even hear me mentioned … thinking how I’ve survived this, resisted that … on the other hand, right, left, or center, I say they’re all a lot of absolutely superfluous stinkers! we’ve all got our opinions! … of course you’ll say: why did you get mixed up with them? right you are! let them! let ‘em all sink! … mirages … one more! … plunge! … off the precipice! … into myriatons of quicklime! … amen!
There in Zornhof we hadn’t got to that point … a certain courage and cowardice gave us the idea that in spite of everything … if we could only hold out another three … four months …
Three four months … my ass! more like a century! the crime, humanly speaking, the unpardonable mistake is thinking of others! … Prudence and Egoism are a congenial pair, hideous, shitty, but so compact, so adorably solid!
I didn’t speak of my high-powered reflections to Lili … especially the Fortresses and Hurricanes over Berlin were no secret to anybody … ground, walls, floor! … worse and worse! … especially at night… they’d needed trumpets of Jericho … our Hjalmar with his drum and bugle had done the trick! … no walls left in Berlin, that was sure … but what about Pastor Rieder? and the sergeant from the airfield? … with his robin … in very difficult moments when you can’t get to sleep the best thing is to think sweet thoughts about really lovable creatures …
That robin … the rats didn’t get it! … the sergeant brought it back! … good for him! … bravo! … bravo! you’re practically asleep … bravo! … bravo! …
Not at all what we were expecting … we’d expected to be notified of this and that … especially that we were being thrown out … not at all! a warm welcome … on the front steps a great big streamer “Vive la France” … must be for us! … and the steps painted blue, white, and red … for us too? in token of friendship? … upstairs they’re all at table … and what a table! … nothing like our mahlzeit! … groaning under hors d’oeuvres and fruit salad … three four hams … turkeys and chickens … a real feast! is it us they’re feasting? … remains to be seen … they’ve already taken their places … we’re introduced … I knew the Rittmeister Count von Leiden … I knew Simmer too, Harras had taken us to see him, a repulsive old fossil, painted, pomaded, and wounded at Verdun … a total bastard, we’d been warned … from what we’d heard, he got a kick out of executing the prisoners in the camps … Russian, Polack, French … on the slightest pretext … women too … plenty of pretexts, especially the black market in butter and eggs … I hadn’t seen him since Moorsburg … he never came out … but it seemed he was on very good terms with Inge von Leiden … hearsay … here I saw him primped and powdered, with his big gold chain, his cabochon rings on every finger, painted like an old whore, lips rouged, nails lacquered … first time I saw him, I’d said … “Colleague, he’d look good at the Châtelet, with music!” … I was thinking of the ballet… Harras had warned me… he’d take offense at a trifle, his rages were terrible … “full powers”… no joke! … in the first place this colonel of the Empress’s Uhlans didn’t like us! … get a load of him, boots with pompons, schapska, violet brandenburgs, saber with gold tassel… he was unforgettable … and maybe, come to think of it, no worse than the rest of them … most affable on this occasion … amazing! … how long would it last? … he introduces us to the lady beside him … he speaks French very well, with a German accent, but no rasp, no bark, more of a singsong … he must come of a good family, all good families in his day had French governesses … in Russia, Germany, Denmark, or England … you’ll find that all the old fogeys of good family have perfectly tolerable accents and elegant well-chosen phrases … the harmony of the Grande Époque … their knowledge of other languages is very approximate, not so hot …
He introduces us to Countess Thor von Thorfels … ah, at last! … she’s certainly kept us on tenterhooks! they’ve been talking about her for three months! … She … my word! … she’s a pastel! more painted than the Landrat! … and even more jewels, three necklaces! … a lorgnette set with gems … a long “Régence” cane with a carved handle … blond wig, must be a wig … with a big chignon … the tragedy of all women … society, low class, if s all the same … if they hang on, they get to look like madams … or if they let themselves go … like parish ladies, no good for anything but mourning the dead and laying them out … ah, the cruelty of Nature!
This lady, Countess Thor von Thorfels, isn’t the least bit contemptuous, quite the contrary … so glad to see us! overjoyed! …
“You here! … French people! I’m so happy! … all three of you! … is my daughter treating you properly? … I want to know! … My son-in-law is a poor invalid … you know him!”
“Certainly, Madame, certainly!”
“All in your honor, my dear French friends! … the pleasure will be ours! … our modest repast!”
Clucking!
Some modest repast! … giant platters of hors d’oeuvre and smoked salmon … chickens en gelée … caviar … and compote �
�� huge dishes of butter … I hadn’t seen the like since the Simplon … but what would they do to us afterward? All very well these sumptuous meals, but then what? In Cameroun. I’d seen their mystique … when they were going to boil somebody they’d get him good and drunk first … these people, so friendly all of a sudden … is that what they had up their sleeve? … ample ground for suspicion … they were all hostile … not only to us, even to each other … very much so, in fact … the old Rittmeister sitting next to Inge … not a word to each other … but there they were … what was behind it? … I looked to see what they were eating … just a little of the hors d’oeuvre … maybe there was something wrong with the other dishes? … and the husband, the cripple? Simmer asks where he is … in German …
“With Nicholas!”
“His gun! quick, Inge, if you please! … this minute! … with Nicholas!”
Inge shrugs … she’s not in a hurry …
“His gun, Inge, if you please. Immediately!”
She makes up her mind, she goes out … we hear a bit of discussion and she comes back … with the weapon … Simmer grabs it… he pops out two shells! … and he hangs on to it! … on his lap! not very trusting … but Countess Thor von Thorfels is so glad to see us … all smiles and mimicry … she pays no attention to the Landrat … only to us … “So you’ve come from Paris? … all three of you? with your cat? Bébert?”
“Oh, yes, Madame … yes!”
As long as she’s so friendly, I have quite a few questions to ask … I risk it … I ask her very respectfully if up there in her country the landscape is the same as here … plains? … plains?
“Oh, much bigger plains, my dear Doctor! immense! you’ll see! enormously too big I assure you! I’m bored at home, my friends … I call you my friends! … you don’t mind?”
“Oh, of course not, Madame! a great honor!”
“You can imagine, my castle alone … forty-two large salons and reception halls … I’ve never counted the bedrooms! my husband knew! … and the forest!”
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