Adam understood the situation immediately and started to slip out of his boots to go into the river after his wife.
“No,” Hawk said softly.
“No?” Adam asked incredulously. “Are you crazy? She’s scared to death.”
“The danger is past. She has to learn to handle the repercussions of fear.”
“Damn it man! I’m sick to hell of your lessons! That is my wife and I’m not going to just stand here and watch her suffer another of your lessons. She is a woman, not a horse you want to break to saddle.” Hawk caught Adam’s arm in an unbreakable hold as the man stepped into the water. “Call her to you.”
“Let me go!” Adam snarled.
Hawk raised his head, every inch the savage Shawnee warrior. “Call her!”
Molly was unaware of the argument on the bank. She still saw the snake with its bared fangs directed at her. Never in her life had she felt such raw, uncontrollable terror.
“Molly … Molly mine, you’re safe.” He had to force his voice to be calm and soothing. The muscles in Adam’s arms bunched as his hands knotted into fists, he had never been closer to hating a person in his life as he did Hawk at that moment. “Come to me, sweetheart. You’re safe, I promise.”
She heard his voice, the sweet voice of the man she loved and she wanted more than anything in her life to walk to him. But her legs wouldn’t cooperate. “Molly …”
“Out of the water, Mrs. Royse,” Hawk barked brutally. “Unless it’s your intention to tease us with your damp body.” He watched as her back stiffened and he knew she was finally hearing past her terror.
“You are aware that wet cotton is no barrier, aren’t you? Then you must realize that we have an excellent view of your body.”
Adam turned and Hawk read the intention in the other man’s face. “Don’t do it,” Hawk warned softly. “You can try it later, but right now your wife needs you too much. Are you going to stand here on the bank trying to bash my brains in, to protect her honor while she stands in the middle of the river incapable of getting herself to the shore?”
“Let me go in after her, damn it!”
“No.” Hawk turned his attention back to Molly and once more began to taunt her. “Your body isn’t bad, but I’ve seen better. Of course, a free look is worth the effort.”
Abruptly, Molly lowered herself shoulder deep into the water and turned toward the bank. “Make him go away, Adam.”
Hawk looked at her and saw the terror still lingering in her honey gaze. He also knew she could now control that terror enough to walk out of the stream.
“Let her come to you,” he said quietly as he released Adam’s arm and turned to walk away. His steps were quiet as he listened to the sounds of Molly leaving the stream.
“Molly, oh Molly mine,” Adam whispered as he gathered her damp body against him.
Molly started to shake as reaction set in. Tears coursed down her cheeks as she clutched the security of Adam’s embrace.
“I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!” she mumbled, burying her face in Adam’s sweaty shirt.
Lifting her into his arms, Adam carried her away from the water and sat down beneath a tree. He cradled her against him, lightly stroking her wet hair. He, too, felt a killing fury against the man he had called friend. At this point he was willing to continue their journey without Nathan Morning Hawk’s assistance.
“It was so hot,” Molly said, her voice picking up volume as fear grabbed her in its clutches again. “I wanted to take a bath, to feel clean. The snake was there and I couldn’t move, I couldn’t scream.”
Hawk had waited in a protected spot behind a tree to see that she was truly all right. His lungs felt as if they would explode as he forgot to exhale.
He had heard her scream. It had been nearly painful in its intensity, the terror had vibrated through his entire body.
She had screamed, he told himself. He had heard it.
Quietly, so that they didn’t overhear him, Hawk moved away from the tree. He followed the river downstream, his thoughts overshadowing everything else.
Maybe it had been a screeching noise made as the wheel finally slipped into place on the wagon. Perhaps it had been a bird, shrieking as it flew overhead. It could have been purely coincidence that he had mistaken the sound for a scream and had rushed to the river and found the snake threatening Molly.
He stopped walking and stood staring at the gently rippling water. His thoughts ran chaotically through his mind. It had to have been a noise made by something that had attracted his attention. Since Molly hadn’t been in camp it had been natural to assume that the noise had come from her and even more natural for him to grab his rifle and run to the river.
Why, then, if the noise was caused by something else, had the sound thundered through his head? And why had Adam not heard it?
Why had his knees nearly buckled as a terror unlike anything he’d ever known filled his body?
Something floating in the water caught his attention. Hawk stared at the thing that resembled a floating log. It was the remainder of the snake’s body. A shiver travelled through his body, much like one caused by remembered fear.
She had screamed, he reassured himself. He knew she had, because he had heard her.
If it wasn’t her scream he had heard then what was it?
He tried to shake off the feeling of something waiting just out of sight around the next bend in the trail. She had screamed, he told himself. He knew she had. In her terror she just hadn’t realized that she had screamed and it had been loud enough for him to hear back at camp.
She had to have screamed. After all, he had heard her.
Hadn’t he?
CHAPTER THREE
Molly refused Adam’s offer to carry her back to camp. After sliding her dress on over her wet underwear and pulling on her shoes she clutched his hand tightly. Commanding her quivering legs to support her weight, she concentrated on taking each step as her eyes jumped from place to place, searching for snakes on the ground, under bushes or in the trees.
When they reached camp Adam motioned to a wooden box and Molly gratefully sank down on its hard surface. After a quick search through his wife’s things, Adam found her brush and comb. He returned to her and began to comb the snarls from her long hair. The motions were soothing to both of them and the tension that still held them in its grip slowly loosened its bonds.
In his usual silent way of walking, Hawk entered the camp unnoticed and stood for long minutes watching the scene. He could understand Adam’s desire to pamper Molly, since he felt an almost overpowering need to do the same thing. But Hawk knew that the treatment would worsen the condition rather than improve it. There is no place in the wilderness for debilitating terror, no matter what the reason. Someone’s life might depend on quick action, and time can’t be wasted by long minutes of fear.
“We need to finish with that wheel.” His voice broke through the stillness, jarring both Adam and Molly.
The transition is complete, Molly thought to herself as she looked at Hawk. His raven’s-wing hair glistened in the sun. His hair was held back by a band around his forehead and it accentuated his piercing black eyes. She had only guessed at his strength before, but now his shirtless body screamed the message. Copper skin stretched sleekly over wide shoulders and a massive chest that rippled with flawlessly defined muscles. Fringed buckskin pants clung low to his hips, disappearing into fringed, beaded knee-high moccasins. He clutched a rifle in his right hand and even in his relaxed stance she had an impression of barely curbed violence, controlled only because it was his choice, not because of some civilized notion of correct behavior.
All trace of the white man was gone. Molly knew he was now unremittingly a Shawnee warrior.
Her back straightened and her chin rose as Adam’s hands rested on her shoulders, lightly stroking the sides of her neck.
“We need to talk first,” Adam replied quietly.
Hawk nodded his head in agreement and laid the rifle within
reach on a barrel. He leaned his shoulder against a tree, his arms folded over his chest. The bark was rough against his naked skin, reminding him that he needed to put his shirt back on.
“So talk.”
“What you did back there,” he nodded toward the river, keeping both hands on Molly’s shoulders, “it was cruel.”
“Killing the snake?” Hawk asked skeptically.
“Damn it man, be serious! Molly was terrified and you wouldn’t let me go to her. You forced me to stay on the bank while she stood waist-deep in the water and couldn’t move.”
“She has to learn to control her fear.”
“Not that way, she doesn’t!” Rage clogged his throat when he remembered the helplessness that had overwhelmed him because Hawk wouldn’t let him go to her. “That was just plain cruel. Did you enjoy watching her suffer?”
Hawk’s hands fell to his sides as he moved away from the tree. His black eyes narrowed and danger radiated from him.
“Is she going to be so controlled by her fears that it will affect her future? What if someday she walks into the cabin and sees a snake curled up in the cradle with her babe? Is she going to stand there in terror while it sinks its fangs into her child? Is she going to watch her babe die because she’s too frightened to go to its aid?
“Or maybe one day while you’re chopping wood the ax slips and becomes imbedded in your leg. That’s not usually a fatal wound, but it would be if she were too afraid to help you.” His voice became mocking, “you’d bleed to death before her eyes because she’s scared.”
His gaze lowered to Molly and he saw the hate she now felt for him … but also her grudging acceptance of his words. “There is plenty of time later to give in to your terror. But while it’s happening, while your action could be the difference between life and death, you have no choice but to remain in control.
“Don’t let me stop you from falling apart and having a good cry … when it’s over!
“If teaching you that lesson is cruel,” he said, speaking directly to Molly, “then yes, I enjoyed the cruelty. That cruelty may someday save a life. Who knows, it might even be mine!”
As regally as any blue-blooded royal, Molly stood up from the packing box. Her gaze didn’t waver as she stared at the man across from her. “You will forgive me, I’m sure, if at this time I am unable to extend my gratitude to you for your lesson, Mr. Hawk. I have never before had a reason to experience true terror as I did today. It was … different.”
Hawk felt his approval of her climb several notches further as she walked gracefully toward the back of the wagon. She stopped and turned toward him again. “Perhaps, someday, I shall be grateful for today. I hope not. I would rather never again experience such debilitating fright. However, should it happen, I will do my utmost to express my appreciation at that time.”
Nodding her head slightly, she lifted her skirt and climbed into the back of the wagon. As Hawk watched her disappear from sight he felt a surprising sorrow for the necessary loss of her innocence. He turned to meet Adam’s accusing gaze.
“Perhaps we should continue this trip without your aid,” Adam said quietly.
“Do you really think you’re ready to be on your own?”
“I don’t know what I think, Nathan. But I’ve seen the way you’ve changed as we get deeper into the wilderness and I’m not sure that I know you anymore.”
“I am the same man that I’ve always been,” Hawk replied. “Perhaps you never looked past the clothes to see who I truly am.”
“Perhaps , . . I just don’t know.” Adam watched a bird flitter from one tree branch to another, his thoughts a tangled web of doubt and uncertainty. “I’ve always known that you were a Shawnee Indian but maybe I’m just beginning to understand exactly what that means.”
Unemotionally, Hawk waited for Adam to arrive at a decision. His stoic countenance gave no hint to the myriad thoughts running through his mind. He knew he had damaged his friendship with Adam, perhaps irretrievably.
“Not surprisingly, I’ve discovered that I can’t bear for Molly to be hurt or abused. I agree that your lessons are a necessity; but I must disagree with your method. It seems to me that there must be a better way to get a point across than the way you did it today.”
“It is my way,” Hawk stated. “I know of no other. You can tell a child to stay away from a fire or he will be burned. But it’s just words that the child hears until he is burned, then he understands. The only thing you can do is watch that the burn is not too severe.”
“You would let a child get burned just to teach it a lesson?” Adam asked incredulously. It wasn’t necessary for Hawk to reply, Adam saw the answer in his dark face.
“I suppose you’d let it get bit by a snake, too, to learn a lesson!”
“Such lessons would be fatal. Some things must be accepted. You and your wife must learn, one way or the other.” Hawk let no emotion show in either his voice or expression. “I killed the snake to protect Molly but I forced her to overcome her fear enough to leave the water. Other lessons will be just as difficult, but I won’t deliberately let either of you face death just to learn.”
Adam ran a hand through his brown hair then rubbed the back of his neck. “I just don’t know you anymore, Hawk. Or maybe you’re right, maybe I never knew you.
“We need your help, I’m the first to admit that. I don’t know how to go about finding a suitable homesite or how to erect a cabin once I find the place.”
Inside the wagon Molly changed into dry clothes and listened to the conversation between the two men. She knew that Adam was speaking more from emotion than from common sense and she feared that he would say something that would force Hawk to leave. Now that she was calm she better understood Hawk’s reasons for teaching her to handle her fear.
She still hated him with an intensity that amazed her, but she accepted his lesson.
Molly climbed from the wagon and walked over to the area designated for the evening fire. Earlier in the day Hawk had killed a couple of rabbits that would be their evening meal. Ignoring the two men — they had stopped talking at her appearance and now watched her every move — she picked up the rabbits, grabbed a knife and headed for the river.
Forcing herself to choose the exact spot where she had bathed earlier, she laid the rabbits on the ground and knelt to begin the process of cleaning them.
“Once we get settled I’ll not eat a rabbit again for six months,” she mumbled to herself as she deftly cleaned the first one. She rinsed it then reached for the second. When she noticed a pair of moccasined feet beside her, she continued talking to herself and ignored her uninvited companion.
Hawk realized immediately the significance of the spot Molly had chosen and he felt an unexpected flash of pride for her. He knew it had not been easy for her to face the scene of debilitating terror so soon after the event. For her to have done so proved her ability and desire to conquer her fears.
He watched with satisfaction as she cleaned the rabbits. Her every move was calculated and practiced. The skin now came away from the body in one piece rather than small clumps. In fact he had nearly enough skins to make a coat and had planned to show her how that was done when the weather turned bad and there was time enough.
“We can never be friends, Mr. Hawk,” Molly said quietly.
“Because I am Shawnee?” he asked but knowing instinctively that wasn’t her reason.
“It has nothing to do with you being an Indian.” She moved back to the river and rinsed the other carcass. She grabbed both of the rabbits by their hind legs and stood, stretching the kinks from her back.
Her action unknowingly tightened her blouse, making Hawk remember her surprisingly full breasts covered by the wet cotton that had teased instead of hiding. He wondered why he had once thought her too thin and rather plain. Her hair, eyes, and skin all had the golden glow of honey. Hawk forced his thoughts away from wondering if she tasted as sweet.
“I do not like you, Mr. Hawk,” Molly continued
. “You are unrelentingly cruel and selfish.” She paused a moment, then shook her head. “No, that’s not fair,” she corrected, “you are not selfish, or you would never have agreed to help Adam. However, your cruelty seems to know no bounds.”
“It was not my intention to be cruel. It is the only way I know to teach you.”
“There must be another way rather than your method. I have several nieces and nephews and I’ve never found it necessary to resort to torture in order to teach them.”
“I’m sure their lives never depended on what you taught,” Hawk replied quietly. He watched the lazy flow of the water as he fought to find a way to make her understand and accept his method of teaching. She was the wife of his best friend and he had come to respect and admire her. He wanted her to be as safe in her new home as possible, to know that she wasn’t dependent on anyone for her protection.
“If I had killed the snake and then gone into the water and carried you out what would you do the next time it happens?”
Her brow wrinkled in concentration as Molly gave his question serious thought. “I would probably stand there screaming for someone to come help me,” she answered fairly.
“What will you now do next time?”
She wanted to smack him on the side of the head with the dead rabbits for forcing her to see his point of view. “I will look for a way to get away from the snake, Mr. Hawk.” Her voice was low and full of anger. “I will then wade to the bank and will probably shake for an hour or so before returning to my chores and waiting anxiously for the next lifethreatening adventure to come my way!”
“The simplest thing in the wilderness can quickly become life-threatening, Molly. Often you have no one but yourself to depend upon to prevent death — your own death. You have much to learn in the next few months and there is no time to ease you gently through the lessons. If my way seems cruel, so be it. You, however, will benefit.”
“Thank you, Mr. Hawk.” Molly raised her head and nodded graciously. “I will endeavor to learn as quickly as possible. But that will not change the way I feel about you. As I said earlier, I don’t like you!”
LeClerc 03 - Wild Savage Heart Page 4
