“It’s … complicated.”
“Can you please uncomplicate it and take the gift?”
“I’ll let you know,” Erin said.
She finished with Bev and then drove to the Safeway. Dan wasn’t in. “He doesn’t come on until three,” said Fred the produce guy. “Try him at the lake house.”
Sure enough, she found Dan at his fixer-upper, painting away. No music this time, just him in a paint-spattered shirt and jeans working in silence, slowly turning the house into a masterpiece. He’d painted the outside now and it was a pale yellow. He was in the process of turning the window trim lime green. She wondered what color he’d painted the inside of the house.
With no music blasting he heard her coming. He set down his paintbrush and wiped his hands on a cloth as she parked her car. Then he stood there on the porch and waited for her, saying nothing, just looking at her.
“You did it again, didn’t you?” she greeted him.
He shook his head, looking disgusted. “Brett and I went in together.”
“And how much did Brett pay?”
“Isn’t that kind of a rude question?”
“You paid for most of it, didn’t you?”
“I paid half,” he admitted.
“I don’t want it.”
“You’re such an ingrate.”
“I don’t mean to be, but it’s too much. What am I supposed to tell Adam?”
Dan shook his head. “You don’t want me to tell you what to tell Adam.”
“This is wrong, all wrong. You can’t afford it,” she informed him.
He gave her a smile that was almost a sneer and shook his head. “Because I happen to work at a grocery store? Come on, Erin. Don’t be such a snob. Didn’t your mom ever tell you it’s not how much you make, it’s how you use it? I have plenty of money.”
“But it’s not right. Let me pay you back. You already paid for the flowers.”
“So? It’s my money. If I want to use it to help my best buddy’s baby sister have a nice wedding I should be able to do that, right?” He hitched up a leg and sat on the porch railing. “Your mom was like a second mom to me. I think this would have made her happy.”
“So that’s the only reason you’re doing this?” If so, then maybe she could live with the guilt.
“I want you to be happy.”
“That’s all?”
He sat there, his lips clamped shut, jaw working. She could see in his eyes what he wouldn’t say. She recognized it because it was the same thing she was feeling. She didn’t say anything either, though. What was the point? She’d made her choice, and it was a wise one.
“You made your choice,” he said at last, echoing her thoughts. “I wish it had been a different one, but things don’t always work out the way you wish.”
She dropped her gaze. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“Did you really need to?”
She bit her lip and shook her head. Her eyes were stinging now, threatening tears. She blinked them back. It was too late for tears, too late for her heart to wander off the reservation. She needed to end this conversation, get out of here. “You’ve known me for years. Why didn’t you do anything, say anything?” Damn him!
“You shot me down so many times I guess I was gun-shy. You went from being a beautiful girl to a beautiful woman. Beautiful women can be intimidating. Then last year I got out of the army and came home and heard you had a boyfriend. And then you were engaged.” His smile was bitter. “That’s how life plays out sometimes. Anyway, this isn’t about me. It’s about you. I want to see you happy.”
He was miserable and all he cared about was seeing her happy. Next he’d offer her the moon.
You have got to leave right now! screamed her inner mother.
“I shouldn’t have come. I’m sorry. And I’m sorry I’ve been … ungrateful. Thanks for being such a good friend.”
He nodded.
That was all there was to say. “I’ll see you at the wedding.” She turned to go.
“No you won’t.”
That stopped her in her tracks. “But your band?”
“Is playing without me.”
“But they need a bass player,” she protested.
“They got a guy. Erin, I was glad to do what I could to give you the dream wedding you want, including the band. That’s what a man does for a woman he … cares about. But I won’t come watch you marry another man.”
The tears were back again, insisting on escaping. Erin nodded, unable to look him in the eye. Now it really was time to leave. She started to walk away.
“Wait.” She turned and he closed the gap between them. He smelled like sweat and paint. It should have been a turnoff. He put an arm around her shoulder, pulled her to him, and kissed the top of her head. “Be happy,” he said, then released her and went back to his paint can.
She stumbled down the porch, nearly blinded by silly tears. This sudden need to cry was ridiculous. She was just emotional because Dan had stirred up a yearning for something she could never have: the past. That was all. She didn’t really love him. She loved what he represented.
She got in her car and drove back down the road, telling herself it wasn’t meant to be. Dan Rockwell had had years to do something. So had she. She was meant to be with the man she was with. She’d chosen well and they’d be happy and that was that. The tears retreated.
So, with her runaway-bride moment conquered, she sailed into the final wedding events. She picked up Brett and his wife Carly at the airport on Friday afternoon and they all trooped over to Aunt Mellie’s to chill on the deck before the rehearsal.
It was a perfect day for a wedding, just the kind of day she’d dreamed about. The sun was beaming in a blue sky, and the lake was shimmering with sunlight diamonds.
“How’s Adam doing? Have you had to stick his feet in hot water to thaw ’em yet?” teased Brett.
“You’re so funny,” Erin shot back.
“Why should he have cold feet? He’s lucky to get Erin,” her sister-in-law said, smiling at Erin. Carly was going to be one of her bridesmaids, along with Megan and Angela, the matron of honor.
Erin stuck out her tongue at her brother. “So there.”
“Yeah, well. You don’t know her like I do,” Brett said, and gave Erin a playful nudge with his foot. “So I hear Dan’s band is playing for the reception. Are they any good?”
“They’re great,” Erin said. “Except Dan won’t be there.”
Brett’s brows knit. “Why not?”
Erin felt her cheeks sizzling. “I think he had to work.”
Now Brett was frowning. “What kind of lame excuse is that? He couldn’t get off for an old friend’s wedding? Man, I’m gonna have to go drag his sorry butt to the church.”
“Don’t say anything,” Erin begged. “It’s already settled. He got another bass player to take his place.”
Brett shook his head. “What a bum. But I guess helping with the eats gets him off the hook.”
Erin nodded. She suddenly felt like crying again. Oh, Mom, would you have been proud of me? Would you have approved of the choice I made?
Aunt Mellie joined them now and sank into a lounge chair with her glass of iced tea. “It’s so lovely out today. You couldn’t ask for a better weekend weatherwise,” she told Erin. “Happy the bride the sun shines on,” she added, raising her glass in salute.
“Yeah, and happy the brother who finally gets his snotty little sister married off,” cracked Brett, returning to form.
“Ha, ha,” Erin retorted.
“Be nice,” cautioned his wife. “You may want free medical advice from her husband someday.”
Brett gave a snort, then added, “Seriously, I’m happy for you, sis. Adam’s a great guy. You picked good.”
“I think so,” said Erin.
Oh, dear, fretted her inner mother. I hope you know what you’re doing.
When it came to love, who knew anything? All a woman could do was make the wis
est choice possible and hope it turned out okay.
Uncle Jake got home from work, quickly showered and changed, and then it was time to go to the lodge for the rehearsal. After that Adam’s parents were taking the wedding party to the Family Inn, a quaint family restaurant at the edge of town.
They got to the lodge to find the others already there and waiting: the groom and his parents, the groomsmen and bridesmaids, and Kizzy, who was going to be singing at the wedding, with a slimmer Lionel as her escort. She had her arm linked through Lionel’s, and Erin looked at them and thought, there’s a picture of what a marriage can be. She hoped that would be Adam and her someday.
Adam came over and gave her a kiss. “How’s my bride?”
“Fine,” she murmured.
His parents stepped up beside him. “Hello, dear,” said Mrs. Hawthorne, giving her a stiff peck on the cheek. She smelled like Chanel No. 5. Slim and well dressed, she looked like Lauren Hutton.
“Nice to see you again,” Erin said. That sounded stupid. This was going to be her future mother. “Thank you again so much for the cake. That was really sweet of you.”
“Our pleasure,” said Mrs. Hawthorne.
She had the oddest way of looking pleased, Erin thought, observing her tight smile.
She ventured a look at Mr. Hawthorne. His smile at least was genial. He was as good-looking as his wife, an older version of Adam with graying hair and the tanned skin of a doctor who was able to spend a lot of time on the links in between patients.
“Well,” said Uncle Jake in his booming voice, clapping his hands together. “It looks like we’re all here. Shall we go through the motions?”
Good old Uncle Jake. After she became engaged he got licensed to marry and conduct funerals. Active in his church for years, Uncle Jake had joked that with as much as he did for the church he might as well have a piece of paper that made him official, but Erin knew he’d really done this just so he could officiate at her wedding. Her uncle marrying her and her brother giving her away—what more could she ask for? Suddenly, she wanted to cry.
Aunt Mellie gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Your mother would have been so proud.”
They trooped into the little building directly across from the main lodge, which had been turned into a wedding chapel. Erin tried to imagine it full of people and flowers and music the following day and couldn’t. She tried to see herself up at the altar. All she could see was old-fashioned wooden pews and old wood floors, stained-glass windows filtering in colored light. It will be beautiful tomorrow, she told herself.
“Are you okay?” Kizzy had whispered at one point during the rehearsal dinner.
“Me? Yes, I’m fine.”
She told that to Adam, too, who asked her the same thing later that night. “It’s been a long time coming. Now that it’s here it almost seems surreal.”
“It will all be real tomorrow,” he whispered, and kissed her gently.
It will all be real tomorrow.
That night she tossed and turned and wrestled with her pillow. The Sandman finally escorted her into Dreamland some time before dawn and then smacked her in the face with a bad dream. In it she was getting married in army fatigues in the middle of a combat zone. Their minister was a drill sergeant, who kept shouting at her, “This is not a drill, soldier!” And then the ground under her feet began to shake and the candelabras started swaying, flicking melted wax on everyone. “Earthquake!” screamed her aunt.
She sat up in bed in a cold sweat, panting. Okay, it was only a dream. She shouldn’t have eaten so many pickles at dinner.
Eating. She suddenly felt a need for … something. She looked at the bedside clock. Eight A.M. She had time. She showered and slipped into jeans and a top and drove to the Safeway.
A mocha, that was what she needed. She bought a Grande at the Starbucks kiosk and then wandered the store, sipping it. Maybe she’d get some pastries to take over to Aunt Mellie’s where everyone was congregating for brunch.
She slipped down the frozen food aisle past a couple around Kizzy and Lionel’s age, lingering in front of a selection of frozen desserts. Something in the man’s tone of voice as he talked to his wife made her stop to eavesdrop.
“For God’s sake, Martha, are we going to be here all morning?”
“I was just thinking a pound cake would be nice,” said the woman.
“Oh, come on. You don’t need that.”
Erin jumped away as if she’d been scalded. You don’t need that. Where had she heard those words before? As if she didn’t know.
But Adam would never talk to her like that. That wouldn’t be them in thirty years.
She fled the store for the safety of Aunt Mellie’s house. Nerves, it’s just nerves.
Twenty-four
The day became a blur: breakfast with the wedding party and family at her aunt’s, then the afternoon hair appointment and makeup session with her bridesmaids, then off to the lodge to take pictures before the ceremony.
Adam was gorgeous, attentive, and romantic. “You look beautiful,” he whispered. “I’m the luckiest man in Heart Lake.”
The butterflies in her tummy began to settle down.
And then, on their way to the gazebo for some bride and groom shots, they walked past the bank of glass windows and he looked in at the reception area. “All that for appetizers?” he wondered.
Erin followed his gaze to the tables dressed up in fine linen and sparkling with crystal and silver. In the center of each table, beta fish swam inside tall glass vases sprouting exotic Japanese grasses and flowers. Short glass candleholders with votive candles surrounded them, waiting to be lit.
Erin’s pulse quickened and her stomach clenched. “Actually, it’s going to be a little more than appetizers.”
“What do you mean?”
“We’re having the salmon buffet.”
“What?”
“Don’t worry. It was a gift.”
“A gift? Awesome. Who gave us that?”
“My brother.” No lie. Brett had paid for half.
“No shit? I thought he was broke.”
“Well, he went halves with someone.” Her cheeks were getting warmer by the minute. Her face had to be turning red. Hopefully, Adam wouldn’t notice.
He looked at her suspiciously. “Who?”
“Just an old family friend,” she said breezily.
“Does this friend have a name?”
“Dan Rockwell,” she said quickly. She lifted her skirts and picked up her pace.
“Dan Rockwell, why does that name sound familiar?”
They were at the gazebo now. The photographer Adam had wanted to use was already there, fiddling with his camera as if he was trying to figure out how to work it.
He looked up at them and grinned. “So, how about you two go on in there and we’ll take a couple of shots.”
“Wait a minute,” Adam said to Erin, his brows lowering, “isn’t that the guy who was dancing with you on Valentine’s Day?”
“Yes.” Now Erin’s whole face felt hot. Why was she blushing? She had nothing to be embarrassed about.
“That’s a damned expensive gift. Why is he doing that?”
“I just told you. He’s an old friend of the family.”
“And why didn’t you tell me about this before now?” Adam demanded.
“I only found out a couple of days ago.”
“You could have told me a couple of days ago.”
Yes, she could have, and now she wished she had. “Adam, I’m sorry.” Why, oh, why hadn’t she told him? The answer to that was simple. They’d have fought about it, like they were about to now.
“I don’t like some guy giving you such an expensive present,” Adam continued, frowning.
“Well, it’s a little late to say ‘no, thanks.’”
“You could have when you first found out.”
“The salmon was already in.”
“And it was what you wanted all along anyway, wasn’t it?”
Adam shook his head. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter now. I don’t want you seeing this Dan clown after we’re married. And no more presents.”
“So, how about you two hold hands?” suggested the photographer.
They grabbed each other’s hands.
“That’s pretty ungracious,” said Erin.
“How would you feel if some old girlfriend decided to pay for our wedding dinner?” Adam demanded, scowling.
“Grateful,” Erin snapped.
“And how about a smile?” added the photographer.
“Adam, it’s too late to do anything about it at this point. Can we forget who paid for the salmon and remember why we’re here? Please?”
“Still looking for that smile,” coaxed the photographer.
“That will be hard to do when it’s time to eat. I just think you should have told me,” Adam reiterated. “That’s all.”
“I think I’ll just go take some candid pictures. You guys let me know when you’re ready,” said the photographer, slipping away.
Adam was pouting now. “I don’t like it.”
Erin threw up her hands. “This is ridiculous. This is supposed to be the happiest day of our lives and we’re arguing over a salmon dinner. That someone else paid for. What’s wrong with that picture, Adam?”
He plopped down onto the little wooden bench that ringed the gazebo and scowled up at her. “You tell me.”
“All right, I will. It’s you.”
“I’m not the one with old girlfriends hanging around,” he retorted.
“He’s not an old boyfriend. I told you, he’s an old friend of the family. He and my brother were best friends.”
“Did he buy a salmon supper for your brother?”
Erin sat down next to him and laid a hand on his arm. “You’re the one I’m marrying. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
“Of course it does,” he said, his words clipped.
“Then please, let’s not fight.” She took his hand in hers. “I want this day to be memorable, don’t you?”
He looked out at the lake, calm and shimmering blue, and nodded. “It just bugs me that this guy—”
Bikini Season Page 24
