by C. G. Blaine
Gabe’s hand falls away, and he gives a sad smile. “I’ll meet you in the lobby.”
He turns down the hall, head hung, and I start after him.
“Hannah.” Cass’s voice stops me, softer than usual. “Let him go.”
I spin around in the doorway. “I can’t let him think I dumped him for you.”
Something passes over his face, and he rubs a hand over the back of his neck. “Fine, go nurse the puppy. Just stay on this floor.” He walks back into his room, slamming the door behind him.
I let out an exasperated groan.
This needs to end now.
Gabe’s just stepping onto the elevator when I catch him. I grab him by his uninjured arm and haul him back to my room. He follows, not even asking why. Whatever he thinks is about to happen is probably the furthest thing from reality because my reality has become too unbelievable to believe.
Fuck, I need a shrink.
“Sit,” I say, pointing at my bed.
Gabe complies, but as I knock on the door joining the rooms, he warily says, “Hannah?”
Cass jerks the door open, his eyes going straight to Gabe on my bed. They shift to me, stormy and intimidating. “What the fuck do you want, Hannah?”
“Tell him he realized we are better off as friends.”
The annoyance vanishes from his face, and his stance loosens. “You’re sure?”
“What are you guys—”
“Shut it, Preppy,” Cass cuts Gabe off, still searching my face for confirmation. “This is really what you want?”
I nod. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner.”
Cass leans in the doorway, fully at ease. Then he jumps at me, and even though I should see it coming by now, I flinch. He smiles on his way past me, palms glowing.
“There has to be a better way to do that,” I mumble.
“There is,” he says over his shoulder. He lowers and grabs Gabe’s face in his hands. Gabe’s body relaxes, eyes losing focus, and Cass’s voice becomes soothing. “You and Hannah are better off as friends. Even if she climbs on top of you and rips her shirt off, you just don’t feel that way about her anymore.”
Gabe nods, moving Cass’s hands with his head. “She has great tits though.”
Oh my God.
My face burns red, and I hide it in my hands, really wishing I had left the room.
“Yes, she does,” Cass speaks slowly, like he’s struggling. “But you don’t remember ever seeing them. And you never want to see them. Now, go to the lobby and wait for us down there. You won’t remember talking to me.”
I peek through my fingers as Cass releases him and straightens up. Gabe shakes his head, stands like nothing happened, and walks out, not even looking at me. And so ends the heavily edited and mostly rewritten love story of Hannah and Gabe. Directed in part by none other than Cass Daye.
Cass smirks on his way into his room. He reappears a few seconds later, closing the door behind him, and tosses me the same sweatshirt from last night. “Let’s go. Something tells me Gabe’s waiting for us in the lobby.”
He is, along with the other two. Terra loops her arm through mine on the way to Jesse’s Jeep and leans into my ear. “Jesse wants to go go-karting after we eat, so help me figure out something else.”
I nod, agreeing, and she breaks away from me, so we aren’t caught conspiring. Cass waits for me to get in first, but different-colored lights blinking off in the distance divert my attention.
Cass nudges me. “Hannah, get in.”
“I think I know what we should do tonight after dinner.”
He shrugs, not interested until my head tips toward the lights. His eyes follow, and the second he realizes what he’s looking at, they shoot back to me. “Hannah…”
“Sound like fun, Cass?” I ask.
He stares down at me, his voice husky when he says, “Baby, you have no fucking idea.”
Cass never experienced the excitement of birthday parties growing up because he never grew up. But walking onto the carnival midway is his equivalent. His entire face lights up, the flashing signs reflecting in his eyes. I can practically see him drawing out a map in his head of where he wants to go and what he wants to do.
“Hannah and I are going for funnel cake,” Terra says.
His hand slides into mine. “No, you’re not.” He pulls me away from the group, dragging me behind him until we stop in front of a roller coaster. He turns around and puts his other hand on my waist. “Please, Hannah.”
I laugh, already regretting this. I hate thrill rides. But I can’t back out now, especially not with his eyes pleading me not to say no.
A rush of anxiety washes over me, and he smiles, not needing any more of an answer from me.
Everyone else joins us by the time we get tickets. Since Gabe’s arm is still in a sling, he leans against the metal railing while the rest of us get in line. Considering how terrible we were at protecting each other in the haunted house, Terra has no problem going with Jesse. Not that I think Cass would have given her any other choice. He hasn’t lost contact with me for more than a few seconds at a time, a small pulse releasing every now and then that only amps up my heart rate more.
When we climb into the car, my breaths come faster, and his eyes are on me.
“You okay?” he asks, lowering the bar over us.
I swallow and nod, and, God, I really hate roller coasters. The cars lurch forward, and Terra shrieks behind us. We ratchet higher and higher at a harsh angle. The pull of gravity reminds me that this is not what I’m meant to do. Humans don’t fly. We fall. We fall hard and break and die and—
“Breathe.” Cass’s lips are at my ear, his hand scorching on my bare thigh. It stays there. His fingers flex, tightening, crackling against my skin as we inch ever closer to the top.
I force a few ragged breaths, anticipating the upcoming plunge. Then everything grows eerily quiet. The air around us changes, not the same as everyone else’s. Like it’s moving at a different speed. We should be careening down the track, but we hover at the peak. I look over, and Cass smiles. Just as I realize he’s slowing down the world around us, it all rushes back.
We fall.
The cars rattle as we drop and clank on the rise. Hair whips across my face, and Cass’s free hand finds mine, his eyes never leaving me. Even though my heart pounds with every jolt of the ride, it smooths out too soon, slowing. He lets go of me once we creep to a stop and pushes my hair back. His hand lingers, brushing a thumb over my cheek until Jesse laughs, walking by our car, and Cass pulls away.
The other three are waiting for us, already discussing where they want to go next. Cass doesn’t pay attention though. His sights are set on what looks like a Ferris wheel on crack. Cages rock and spin while rotating up and down a towering oval. His hand on my lower back guides me forward.
“That one,” he whispers.
Everyone else goes to get Terra her funnel cake while we wait in line for The Zipper. The line’s not long, and soon enough, we’re climbing into our own metal enclosure. Cass slams the door shut, which brings the bar down across our laps. Our cage swings as the ride rotates to let passengers into the next car.
I sigh, already feeling anxious. “Are you enjoying my torture?”
“Trust me. The roller coaster was just as torturous for me.”
“What? How is that even possible?”
He yanks me closer on the seat, angling his upper body toward me. “Because, the entire time, all I fucking wanted to do was this.” His mouth covers mine, and a warm hand slips behind my neck, crushing my lips even harder against his. It’s needy, urgent, like if he doesn’t kiss me, the world will end.
The cage surges forward again, and I gasp, his tongue taking the opening. My body craves contact with him, only the bar keeps me from moving more than my arms. I clutch the back of his hair, needing more of him in whatever way I can get it. He groans into my mouth as we swing. But this time, we
keep going. Faster. Up and around the center arm. The cage rocks forward and back until it flips all the way over. My adrenaline spikes, and his hand glides to the side of my neck, fingers pressed to my pulse. I look out the steel-mesh front of the car. We tip all the way forward, dropping face-first to the ground. I suck in a breath, and Cass pulls my face back to his, kissing me on our way back up. His lips release mine before we spin, once, twice, and I’m dizzy, but it’s from him.
The ride shudders to a stop with us swinging at the highest point. He rests his forehead on mine and watches his hand skim down to my chest. My heart hammers against his palm, and he looks into my eyes. Neither of us moves while we catch our breaths, his skin cooling slightly by the time we reach the bottom.
The ride operator wrenches the door open, and the bar releases us. Cass helps me down from the car. His hand moves to my back as we walk off the platform. It slips beneath the bottom of my sweatshirt, seeking out my skin like he can’t stand not touching me right now. And really, I don’t want him to stop.
At the bottom of the steps, we meet up with the others again. Jesse and Gabe are both gnawing away at massive turkey legs and holding giant glasses of beer. Terra shoves a bite of her funnel cake in my mouth, being sure to smear powdered sugar all over my face.
“Mmm, thank you.”
She giggles and dusts it off for me. “So, Cass, are you ready to share yet?”
“Nope.” He picks a piece off her plate and pops it into his mouth. A smirk appears, and he assaults her with a dimple as he leads me away.
I shrug back at her, and she shakes her head.
“We’ll negotiate over her custody later then,” she calls after us.
We walk almost to the other side of the midway before I realize where we’re heading next.
“No, Cass. Any other ride.” I try to stop, but his hand splays out across my back and keeps moving me forward.
“You’re going on this one even if I have to carry you on.”
Not doubting for a second he would, I huff and get in the back of the line for the Gravitron. Even worse, it’s a long line, so I spend the next ten minutes witnessing the large disc structure spinning around on its axis and thinking about the centrifugal force that will be pinning me against the wall.
I fidget, uncomfortable with just the idea.
We’re at the front of the line when Cass steps away from me. “I’ll be right back.”
“I’m not going on this thing alone.”
“You won’t,” he says, jumping the metal fence keeping the line in formation.
He abandons me with the ticket taker who openly ogles me.
Great.
I lean on the fence and pretend not to notice him. Soon the ride slows, and still, no Cass. I’m about to turn to search for him, but hands grasp me from behind. I lunge forward away from the fence and spin around.
Cass smiles, climbing back over. “Boo.”
“Seriously? After all this, you still need to scare me?”
He ignores me and heads straight for the ticket taker. He grabs the man’s face in his hands as the entrance to the ride slides open. I miss what he says, but the man nods slowly, eyes unfocused. Cass releases him and plucks the tickets out of my hand. The guy blinks a few times and takes them, moving the chain so we can walk through. After we pass him, he re-hooks it without letting anyone else on the ride.
“Did you just hijack a ride for us?” I ask.
He shrugs, stepping through the door into the large, open space. The only other person in there is the man in the middle who operates the ride. Cass tugs me over to the wall and pins me against it.
His hand trails up my thigh. “You want me to show you a better way to get your heart rate up?”
I somehow manage to nod even though I doubt it will take much at the moment. He dips his head down, brushing his lips over mine. He keeps going to my neck, sucking and nibbling. My body responds exactly how he wants it to, and then he’s gone. He reappears by the man in the center and grasps his face. After he tells him something, he’s back to me in a flash.
“What did you tell him?”
He stands against the wall next to me. “I told him he won’t see anything out of the ordinary happening on this ride.”
I narrow my eyes at him, and the lights cut out.
We begin to spin. Smaller lights blink on and off, providing enough light to see the empty space around us. Cass’s hand slides down my arm until it hits my inner wrist. My pulse throbs against his fingertips, the pace rising and rising as my body feels the invisible force holding me back. The padded boards we lean on slide up the wall until my feet no longer touch the ground.
All of a sudden, I can’t feel Cass anymore. It takes an effort to turn my head to the side. He’s not there. I panic, thinking he lured me onto the ride and then abandoned me. But when I look straight ahead again, I see him in front of me.
Fucking. Floating.
Holy shit.
A soft glow illuminates him, growing brighter and brighter. Just as the light becomes too much, they appear. The wings unfold from behind him and spread out until they span across nearly the entire enclosure. They’re incredible and impossible and beautiful. The white so white that it burns to look at, turning blue around the edges. I keep my eyes open as long as I can, but eventually I have to close them. The light slowly begins to dim through my eyelids, and the air comes back, my lungs remembering how to breathe.
Cass’s hand finds my wrist again. My head turns. All I see is black at first until my vision readjusts, his face slowly working its way through. He’s close, only a few inches of heated air between us.
And then the spinning stops.
After we get back to the hotel, Terra insists we all have one last Farewell Florida drink at the bar. I only take a few sips of mine and slide it over for Cass to finish. He hasn’t said much since the Gravitron but gives a small smile, tipping the glass back without hesitation.
Gabe flags down the bartender for another round. Cass catches my eye. He tilts his head toward the lobby, and I hop off my stool.
On my way past, I kiss Terra on the cheek. “Jesse, cut her off after one more. A hungover Terra is not someone you want in a car all day. We learned that the hard way freshman year.”
He holds up his glass. “Good lookin’ out, kid.”
I wave goodnight to Gabe. Earlier in the day, he wanted to know why we couldn’t be together, and now all I get is a nod in return.
Cass holds open the door and follows me to the elevators. An empty one waits, so we step straight in. I stand by the wall, letting him push the button for our floor. It’s the first time we’ve been alone since the ride. Neither of us says anything. We barely even look at each other. The numbers flash one through four, and the doors open again.
It takes until I stop at my room for him to step behind me. His arm snakes around my waist and pulls me back against his chest.
“I learned something tonight,” he says in my ear.
I work to keep my voice steady. “What’s that?”
“You feel different.” He brushes my hair back from my neck and grazes his lips over my skin, sending a shiver through me. “I can’t explain it, but when I’m the reason for your heart pounding in your chest, it feels…”
The elevator dings, loud voices following right behind.
He kisses my neck and presses his cheek to my temple. “Goodnight, Hannah.”
I can’t feel him behind me anymore, but I feel him everywhere else.
Before anyone walks around the corner, I slide my key card. Part of me wants him to be waiting in my room. He’s not, and his sweatshirt lands on the bathroom floor in a pile with the rest of my clothes. I climb into the shower to wash the carnival off me. The water’s too hot, but I leave it. The burn reminds me of Cass’s skin on mine, and I want to feel him.
But more than that, I want him to feel me.
You can’t overdose on something that’s a p
art of you, and that’s what the light is. It’s a part of me that’s been taken away for so long. But tonight, I came as close as possible to the perfect high. I was me. All of me. Complete. And fuck if it’s not the worst crash I’ve ever experienced.
I roll over to check my phone on the nightstand. It’s Hannah. I shouldn’t read her text. For once, I walked away without screwing everything up between us. No one argued or issued a challenge. She won’t hate me in the morning. Hell, she might even still let me touch her like she did tonight. Whether I want to admit it or not, that’s what I want. To touch her and kiss her and feel her and see her smile.
Fuck. I’m fucking fucked.
You awake?
I send back, Depends on what you want.
I want you to tell me how it feels.
I’ve no more than processed the words when the center of my chest heats. It spreads, slow and steady, and brings each nerve ending to life as it pushes outward. The same sensation as earlier. When she responded to my hands and lips on her. How she reacted to my body pressed into hers.
My breathing picks up with the high of her humming through me again.
What are you doing, Hannah?
Thinking about you.
Just thinking? I ask.
No.
I’m hard.
Instantly.
Alone in my bed without any physical contact but what I’m getting from my boxers.
She’s on the other side of the wall, touching herself the way I want to, thinking about me while she does. I can tell when her pulse creeps higher, the flow of light increasing along with it. She’s close. The heat intensifies in my core, and all I can think about is being inside of her while this feeling courses through me.
I’m at the door.
The whole don’t screw shit up philosophy was doomed from the moment she started touching herself. I’m an addict with no chance at recovery. I knock, and Hannah’s adrenaline spikes. I’m practically panting when she answers in a robe, hair wet, cheeks flushed, biting her lip.
