The two basic types of cupping are dry cupping and wet cupping. Dry cupping, or cupping that doesn’t involve any breaks in the skin, is practiced throughout Asia and parts of Europe for its relaxing, therapeutic sensations, which are similar to getting a deep-tissue massage. Wet cupping, or cupping that involves blood-letting, is practiced in many cultures as a way of “drawing toxins” out of the body, a dubious medical claim at best. Due to increasing concerns and awareness of the risks of blood-borne diseases and infections, wet cupping has seen a marked decrease in popularity in the BDSM culture. Dry cupping, at the same time, has seen an almost geometric surge in popularity.
The mechanics of cupping are typically achieved in one of three ways: heat, fire, and suction. The heat and fire methods rely upon this simple principle of physics: hot air expands in volume and cooler air tends to contract. Placing a cup full of hot air on the skin produces a curious phenomenon - the air rapidly cools, and creates a volume of low pressure or a partial vacuum. That, in turn, draws a suddenly purple ball of the subject’s flesh up into the cup, where it will stay until the vacuum seal at the edge of the cup is broken. This suctioned ball of flesh includes muscle tissue which is pulled and stretched in ways that cannot be accomplished through ordinary massage. If the back is coated with a thin sheen of oil, the cups can be moved around while still suctioned to the skin, making it even more like a deep-tissue massage and spreading the therapeutic effects over a wider area.
Fire cupping isn’t really any different from any other kind of heat-based cupping procedure, except for the fact that it is much more efficient at heating the air inside the cup without significantly heating the cup itself. A hot cup on your skin can introduce an element of pain to a procedure which is usually not associated with being a painful activity. It’s somewhat ironic that the introduction of flame to the cupping procedure makes it more frightening to some, while simultaneously making it safer and less painful than placing hot cups on the skin.
When performing fire cupping, the Top simply swabs the interior of the cup with a flammable liquid, tips the cup edge on the subject’s skin, ignites the cup interior with a spark igniter, long-tipped lighter, or violet wand, and immediately seals the cup to the skin. The best type of swab to use is usually an extra-large cotton swab on a wooden stick, similar in appearance to a Q-tip, but several times larger. These can be purchased in any medical supply store, many pharmacies, or online. You can also easily improvise a swab by putting a cotton ball or make-up removal pad into a long pair of tension tweezers or locked medical hemostat. The swab is actually more important than one might think, at first blush. The ability to control the amount of flammable liquid used to coat the cup interior is critical. Too much, and it could drip onto your subject’s skin and perhaps even ignite any oils that may be there. Too little, and cup interior won’t ignite at all.
The flammable fluids used most commonly in fire cupping are isopropyl alcohol and mentholated oil. Isopropyl alcohol is sold in varying proofs, so you’ll want to ensure that the rubbing alcohol you purchase is at least 91% strength; anything lower will not burn. Mentholated oils are sold in Asian pharmacies and online for use in cupping, acupuncture, coin-striping, and other therapeutic procedures. Some of the advantages of using mentholated oil are: its cooling effects on the skin, it is less harsh on the skin, and many people find the scent soothing. The disadvantages are: it’s harder to find, not as affordable to purchase, and not everyone likes the scent of eucalyptus.
The cups used in fire cupping (or any sort of cupping, really) don’t have to be particularly special in any way, other than being structurally sound and without any sharp edges. The size should allow for a good-sized ball of flesh to be drawn into it, but is mostly a matter of personal preference. The average size is about the size of a standard juice glass or what a bartender calls a “rocks” glass. The glasses that are specifically produced for cupping are often distinguishable by their rounded bottoms, indicating that they aren’t meant to sit on anything but their open end. In cupping, as in so many other things, round bottoms are a good thing.
The third method of cupping involves mechanical suction. Cupping sets which are specifically designed for mechanical suction are typically comprised of glass or plastic cups of various sizes and styles, each with a tiny one-way air valve at its top, and a vacuum gun, which usually resembles a large toy squirt gun. The difference is, instead of being designed like a squirt gun to shoot water out of its barrel, the vacuum gun is designed to suck air into its barrel with each squeeze of the trigger. The barrel of the vacuum gun is placed on the tiny valve at the top of each cup, and the air is swiftly sucked out of the cup with a few quick squeezes of the trigger.
The advantages of using a vacuum gun for cupping are: no need for flammable liquids and swabs, there’s no risk of a mishap or injury due to flame, and some sets come with cup inserts that have specialized functions, such as poking or imprinting the skin or serving as electrodes for electrical play. The disadvantages are: lost or broken cups may be difficult to replace, malfunctioning air valves are usually impossible to repair, and the rubber seals for the valves deteriorate over time.
Once in place, the cups can be left on the subject’s back for up to thirty minutes, depending on the circumstances, the appearance and resilience of the subject’s skin, and his or her comfort level. Cupping should not necessarily be a painful experience, so if your subject reports unintended pain, that should be interpreted as a sign that something is not right.
For the benefit of our masochist friends, there are plenty of ways that cupping can be done in ways that are painful. Cups can be placed on a dry back and then mercilessly twisted to create some incredibly intense sensations. Cups on an oiled back can be moved in ways that can be uncomfortable or even painful. Cup inserts specifically designed for use with violet wands or other electrical devices can add a whole new dimension of sensations to the cupping experience, to include painful ones, if desired. Cupping can also easily be combined with other types of BDSM play, such as bondage, suspensions, CBT, sensory deprivation, or even impact play.
Cupping is a relatively safe activity to engage in, as long as common sense is employed. When flammable liquids are being used, the container should be secured in a location that precludes it from being knocked over or spilled. When the swab is being used to coat the interior of the cup, a minimal amount of fluid should be used. If the fluid can drip from the cup when it is inverted, you’re using too much. A drop of flaming fluid falling onto a person’s oil slathered back could easily ruin his or her entire week.
It’s usually a good idea to apply a few test cups prior to a full treatment in order to gauge how well the subject’s skin tolerates cupping. Most people will have no problems, whatsoever. In rare cases, some people may have very fragile or thin skin that isn’t suitable for cupping. Cupping should not be done on the neck, face, or directly atop the spine.
Cupping should be avoided by people with infectious skin disorders, heart disease, circulation problems, blood clots, history of stroke, autoimmune disorders, or who are unusually susceptible to bruising. There is always a possibility of breaks in the skin; therefore, your subject should be asked about any blood-borne disease or infection, and proper precautions should be taken regarding contact with blood.
Some cupping practitioners strongly recommend that a subject should be well-hydrated at least several hours prior to a cupping session to ensure that there are enough fluids in the body to facilitate the proper circulation of blood and the body’s ability to handle capillary ruptures, bruising and minor clotting that can occur during and after the procedure.
Knife Play
Knife or blade play is one of those activities which could properly be placed in a number of different categories of fetish play; however, after giving it a great deal of thought, I have decided - at least for the purposes of this chapter - to categorize it as a form of sensation play. After all, it is not just the sensation of a blade against the skin that
makes knife play so interesting, but the associated sensation of fear. Knife play typically involves various kinds of knives, daggers, razors, swords, cutters, shears, and scissors.
Knife play scenes can consist of blades being used to create fear, shave pubic or body hair, cut or scrape the skin, cut away clothing, scrape hardened wax off the skin, or to poke the subject. Blades may range in sharpness from very dull to razor sharp, and sometimes two identical blades (one sharp, the other dull) are used to first create the impression of a dangerously sharp instrument before switching to the dull blade in subsequent play to reduce the risk of injury. The critical ingredient in any knife play is always the psychological aspect of the scene. The proper cultivation and exploitation of anticipation, intimidation, anxiety, and fear is every bit as important as the blade you use, and the manner in which you wield it.
Safety concerns regarding knife play are, as one might imagine, a big deal. Knife play is generally considered a form of edge play; it pushes the boundaries of what most people consider to be safe. (Contrary to popular belief, edge play refers to the edginess of the play, rather than the edge of a blade.) The prime directive of knife play is: Try not to cut anyone unintentionally.
While accidental cuts are usually the primary fear and focus of those engaging in knife play, cuts themselves are typically not terribly dangerous unless you sever a major blood vessel, rupture a critical organ, or slice something off that should have stayed where it was. More concerning should be the risk of serious infection to the subject from a non-sterile blade or the risk of transmission of blood-borne disease or infection from the subject to others, if any bleeding occurs. To reduce the risk of infection, the subject should shower prior to the knife play scene, and the Top should wash his hands thoroughly with a strong antibacterial soap. Knife blades should be disinfected with isopropyl alcohol or hydrogen peroxide, rather than with boiling water. Putting a knife in boiling water can warp the construction of the knife and will hasten the oxidation (rusting) of the blade.
One particularly useful rule of thumb is to treat all blades as if they are dangerously sharp. That way, a momentary lapse of concentration or mix up in blades won’t result in a trip to the E.R. It is rarely the sharp knife that causes a mishap; it’s the one that you thought was dull.
Always anticipate sudden or seemingly irrational fear reactions. It’s always tempting to toss out the worn-out saying, “expect the unexpected,” but the truth is, fear should be expected and when people are afraid, they can do incredibly crazy things. You should expect that, and plan accordingly. Flinching, jumping, jerking, and pitching forward or backward may not be entirely rational things to do when someone is holding a knife to your throat, but the Top should always anticipate it, nevertheless.
If you do not have a fully stocked first aid kit nearby, I highly recommend that you postpone your knife play scene until you do. And by fully stocked, I mean that there are enough sterile bandages (not band-aids, but real cloth bandages) and gauze pads to properly dress a wound with a standard first aid dressing or - in the event of very heavy bleeding - a pressure bandage. If you don’t know basic first aid, I would suggest that you have absolutely no business engaging in BDSM knife play.
Finally, I would be remiss if I didn’t address what is - at least for the Top - quite possibly the most dangerous aspect of BDSM knife play. Cutting your subject’s clothing, without first getting permission to do so, is almost always going to end up being hazardous to your health.
Hot Wax
Hot wax play isn’t just for kinksters anymore; it’s become increasingly mainstream in its appeal as both an erotic and artistic pastime. Wax play generally consists of dripping or pouring molten candle wax onto someone’s skin to produce erotic sensations, for aesthetic purposes, or both. The types of candle wax used for erotic wax play typically fall into two categories: paraffin (a man-made, petroleum-based compound) and beeswax (which is secreted by the wax glands of worker bees). There are many other varieties of wax that can be used, but they all generally fall into these two categories, differing only in the various additives that are combined with the waxes to change its properties, such as its burn characteristics, melting point, plasticity, or effects upon the skin. Of those four factors, the most important consideration for wax play should always be the wax’s melting point.
Pain tolerance naturally varies from person to person but, on average, the wax will feel hot on the skin at around 110° F., and painfully hot between 120° and 125° F. Anything above that may cause second-degree burns, blistering, and perhaps even permanent scarring. Pure paraffin wax has an average melting point between 115° and 154° F. Unadulterated beeswax has an average melting point of about 145° F. Wax and candle manufacturers routinely add substances to the wax to change its properties and some of those additives will raise or lower the melting point of the wax in unpredictable ways. For that reason, store-bought candles can vary widely in terms of their melting points. Candles that come in glass jars typically have a melting point of about 120° F. Standalone pillar-type candles usually have a melting point of 140° F. Elegant taper candles of the sort that may grace your dinner table at a fine restaurant are the most dangerous of all, with an average melting point of 160°. The wild card in all of this is the unfortunate fact that candle manufacturers rarely label their products in any way that indicates the type of wax or additives, much less it’s melting point. That’s why most people who are serious about hot wax play make their own candles; so they’ll positively know what’s in them.
Crock pots, double boilers, and fondue sets are a convenient way to melt paraffin for making your own candles or for wax play itself. Do keep in mind, however, that just because you adjust the temperature of your crock pot, that doesn’t necessarily change the temperature of your molten wax. You should also be sure to regularly stir your molten wax, as the temperature of the wax can vary widely in different parts of the same pot. You should be able to obtain all the materials you’ll need for candle-making at your local hobby store, to include paraffin, wicks, dyes (crayons work beautifully), molds and thermometers.
There are several safety concerns you should be aware of, when it comes to wax play. First and foremost, you should always be aware of the temperature of the molten wax you are using. This includes knowing how different factors can affect that temperature. Molten wax will cool as it falls through the air onto the skin, for example. The closer you hold a candle to your subject, the hotter the wax will be when it reaches the skin. Molten wax that pools or puddles in low areas, cracks, and crevices will retain more heat and will have a higher risk of causing burns or unintended pain. That could be especially problematic if those cracks and crevices just happen to be where you keep your naughty-bits.
All types of wax have a flashpoint, which is the temperature at which the wax will burst into flame. Under normal conditions your wax will never get that hot in the course of a wax play scene, but accidents do happen. Keep your molten wax away from hot objects, heating elements, or open flames and remove unnecessary objects which are flammable from your play area. Want to know what’s worse than molten wax that has reached its flashpoint and has burst into flames? This: molten wax that bursts into flames and startles you into dropping it, and is now spreading flames across your floor towards the curtains. On a somewhat related note, it’s usually a good idea to keep a portable fire extinguisher handy.
The one thing that some people sometimes find exasperating about wax play is the mess. A little forethought can go a long way towards avoiding those kinds of frustrations. Avoid getting wax in your bottom’s hair. It can be exceedingly difficult to remove, once there. Some folks have had luck using nit-combs to remove hardened wax from their hair. Wear expendable clothing, and cover your furnishings or carpet with a plastic drop cloth to protect them from drips and spills. When accidents happen, use a hot iron and a paper towel or old t-shirt to blot the wax out of whatever it’s gotten into. Be sure to keep the iron’s temperature set low enough that i
t doesn’t melt the material, particularly if it’s a synthetic. Depending on the situation and material, a hot blow-dryer may work even better. To remove hardened wax from your bottom’s skin more easily, consider a light coat of oil massaged into the skin prior to the hot wax session.
Wax play can be a great way to introduce someone to sensation play, express your artistic talents, or just enjoy a slow, sensual evening of eroticism with your partner. It can also be a fun learning experience for a small gathering of intimate friends or munch groups. It’s safe, sexy, fun, and artistic. What’s not to like?
Role Play Accessories
Role play accessories may or may not technically qualify as BDSM toys in the strictest sense, since one person’s role play accessory may simply be a regular part of another person’s daily wardrobe. We’ve already covered quite a few of the items that can be used in role play, such as impact toys and bondage gear. Given the breadth and scope of all the other items which could be considered role play accessories, I’ve chosen just a few of the possibilities to illustrate a couple of the more interesting types of fetish play, and perhaps give you some ideas for accessorizing on your own.
Pony Tack and Accessories
The ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC) is well-known for his writings on physics, politics, ethics, and logic, but few people are aware of the fact that he purportedly enjoyed being ridden like a horse. Today we call it pony play, and it is an increasingly popular form of BDSM animal role play. Ponyboys and ponygirls generally fall into three categories: cart ponies, riding ponies, and show ponies. There can be, and often is, a great deal of overlap between the three groups. The role play accessories related to pony play are highly specialized, both in the sense that they are not typically used in any other kind of scene or activity outside of pony play, and also in the sense that each category of pony play requires specific kinds of gear or tack, as it is referred to by pony play enthusiasts. Tack that is fairly common to all three categories of ponies includes a crop, bit or bit gag, collars, butt-plug or harness pony tail, wrist and/or ankle cuffs, bridles, reigns, plumes, harnesses, spurs, and hoof-mitts or hoof-boots. Less common, but still applicable to all forms of pony play are items such as blinders, breast reigns, masks, horse-head hoods, hobbles (which limit leg movement), martingales (which minimize head-tossing), polos (wraps for a pony’s legs), tongue-ties or tongue-ports (for securing the tongue), and specialized leather, latex or PVC body suits. This list barely scratches the surface when it comes to the incredibly wide assortment of available pony play toys, tack, and accessories.
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