by Pol Robinson
Cass, still in something of a daze, reached down to lift the surprisingly heavy medal from her chest. It was, of course, upside down, but it was still easy to make out the graceful winged goddess of victory as she strode through the stylized amphitheater, the Parthenon etched in the background. Curving around the top were the words “XXIV Olympiad Beijing 2008.” Her hand shaking, Cass rubbed her fingers over the wide band of white jade on the back, feeling the Olympic rings engraved on the golden center.
Any second now I will wake up and this will all be a— Even as she thought it, the first strains of her own national anthem began to play and suddenly Cass snapped back into the present. She lifted her chin as she and Pam turned toward the flagpole. There, at the base, the flag began to unfurl as the red-clad soldiers lifted it into the position of honor. Her throat tightened and she didn’t bother to blink back tears as the anthem played. Nor did she try to sing. She lifted her hand, medal still held tightly in her fingers, over her heart and just mouthed the words, suffused with joy and pride as the flag climbed the pole, flanked by the bright colors of Ireland and the Netherlands.
After all the pain, all the rejection and hardship, she was here.
A million images flashed in her memory. Of her uncle, his face red and mottled as he shouted at her, telling her that she was as useless as her mother. Her aunt’s tight little mouth as she belittled Cass’s every hope and dream. Her cousins’ cruel taunts and mean games. The pitying face of the nurse when she’d awakened in the hospital, her leg and back nothing but a seething morass of pain. The therapist who told her she’d never row again.
After...everything...everyone...she was here.
She’d won. Nothing and nobody could ever take that away from her.
As the last strains of music faded, the crowd again cheered, and this time it was Cass who seized Pam’s hand and raised it high. They waved to the crowd again and then turned to bring the other two teams up on top of the podium with them. Alanna wrapped an arm around Cass’s shoulders, her wide, open face alight with happiness.
“Well done to you! Well done to you both!”
Cass gave her a hug. “And to you, and Kay,” she added smiling again at Alanna’s rowing partner. The six of them posed for photographs and Cass made sure that the assistant coach with the video camera for Sarah got a good shot of them all before she jumped off the podium.
She and Pam stepped over to meet their team and were immediately enveloped by the girls. Their reunion was cut short, however, as the master of ceremonies was waving forward the larger crowd of eights teams. Just as Cass spotted Laura, the steward started lining the women up to file out in procession. Laura reached out, but was pulled back into position by another steward.
“Go,” Cass said as the steward waved them forward again. “I’ll catch up with you after.”
Laura managed to break free long enough to lean forward and whisper, “I’m so proud of you!” before being pulled along with her team to stand behind their second-place podium.
Cass let herself be shuffled backward as the medals ceremony was repeated for the eights. She cheered and clapped as Amy led her crew up onto the second-highest podium to received their well-deserved silver medal. She only had eyes for one woman. Cass watched as Laura bent low to receive her award, then as she stood, her hand wrapped around the medal on her chest. Laura did as she had—lifted the metal disk and examined it, turning it over in her hand, almost as if she were weighing it. She seemed to blow out a breath and then look up and out, her eyes searching the crowd. Cass held her breath and then stilled as Laura’s eyes flicked over to where she stood and then stopped, her gaze locked on Cass, her green eyes bright with tears.
In that instant, Cass was lost. Her heart skipped and her stomach dropped. It took everything she had not to break through the line of volunteers, step onto the podium, and wrap her arms around Laura. She wanted to celebrate with her, to commiserate over the final ten strokes of the eights race, and to celebrate their shared victories.
And she wanted more.
Her own words came back to her. “I guess I’ve just never, you know. Been in love.”
Sending Laura a wide-open smile, Cass thought, I guess I can’t say that anymore, can I? That thought was followed quickly by another.
Now what do I do?
Chapter Forty-One
The milling crowd around her was maddening. Immediately after the medals were presented to the eights, the media had crowded in, pulling the women in different directions, and Cass had lost sight of Laura. Adding to the bedlam was the impromptu party that seemed to spring up following all of the medal ceremonies at these games. Music would start, Cass was never sure who would start it, and then the party would begin. Everyone, it seemed, would dance. If nothing else, Cass had learned that the Chinese, especially the younger generation, loved their music and loved to move. This ceremony, the second to last of the rowing events, seemed to have brought out a larger than normal crowd and she realized that this was just the beginning of a much larger party.
“Hey, what’s going on? Oh, did you hear?” Amy bounced over to Cass and looped her arm through hers. She reached out and brushed her fingers over the gold medal around Cass’s neck, and then lifted her own silver medal. “Gosh, they’re pretty, aren’t they?”
Shaking her head, Cass tried to sort through Amy’s rapid-fire and confusing questions. “Hear what? And yes...they’re stunning.” She bent to look at Amy’s silver. The jade on the back of the silver medal was green, in contrast to the white on the gold medal, but the weight of each was just the same. And, she was sure, meant just as much to Amy.
“Hmm?” Amy was holding both medals in her hands. She looked up and grinned. “Oh, rumor has it that the, ah...bitch reporter was canned today.”
“What happened?” For the first time, Cass realized that the ever-intrusive Shelly Michaels was nowhere to be seen, and she could usually be found in the thick of any media event. Thinking back, Cass realized she hadn’t seen Shelly at all since... “Huh. I haven’t seen her since just before our race.”
“Yeah.” Amy leaned closer. “Rumor has it she stopped by the hospital. She was trying to get an exclusive.” Amy made air quotes to emphasize her point. “She was stopped at the door.”
“No way.”
“Yup. Laura got right up in her face and so did a few others. Then I heard that Laura made some calls, more people showed up, and...well, the bitch is on the street!” Amy clapped her hands and grinned again. “Couldn’t have happened to a nicer person, though I kind of wish they’d stopped in the psych ward to up her meds.”
“Yeah,” Cass agreed faintly. She couldn’t believe it. “Laura did that?” She asked, trying to keep her voice level.
“Yeah. Karen,” she said, referring to one of the team’s assistant coaches, “said that Laura was fierce. She halfway expected to hear her growl. Wish I could have seen it.”
“Me too.” Cass tried again to spot Laura in the crowd.
“Have you had a chance to talk to her yet?”
Cass shook her head. “No, I...wait, there she is.” Less than five feet from her, weaving through the dancing fans and athletes, was Laura. Cass caught her breath slightly as a bright camera light paused for a moment on Laura and the rest of her teammates.
Amy laughed and nudged her, “C’mon, Cass, what happened between you two? She never left your side that night in the hospital.”
“Yeah, that’s what Coach said.” Cass frowned slightly. “But after that...nothing. Well, mostly nothing. I thought we...but I guess it was just me. Or this...” Cass waved her arm at the show surrounding them. She shrugged and gave Amy a halfhearted smile. “It’s okay. I just hoped—” Embarrassed, Cass ducked her head and looked away from Amy, inadvertently right at Laura. Another camera crew’s light danced over the crowd again, haloing Laura’s red hair, made more brilliant by the contrasting intermittent flashes of camera flashes. “God, she’s gorgeous,” Cass breathed.
Delighted
, Amy laughed and nudged Cass. “I knew it! Come on, just go talk to her.”
Embarrassed at having voiced her thought, Cass shook her head. “No, she wouldn’t...I mean, I...” She did not really know how to explain to Amy what had happened. What had they shared, really? One amazing hug? A few hours of feeling of being connected in the rarefied atmosphere of the Olympics? A note? She thought there was something, but the mess with Shelly, the racing, the accident and then...nothing.
Cass had awakened in the exam room to find Coach leaving her clean clothes. Sheila had filled her in on Sarah’s condition and was waiting to drive Cass back to their quarters in the village. When she’d arrived, everyone had been concerned, solicitous, but the one face Cass had wanted to see was nowhere to be found. The common room had been returned to normal during her overnight stay in the hospital, the maintenance team having finally gotten around to fixing the dysfunctional air conditioning. The days after were filled with a whirlwind of racing heats for the other events, visits to Sarah in the hospital and nights of restless, exhausted sleep. Cass knew Laura was avoiding her but she had thought they were past that.
After getting the all-clear from the medical center, she’d looked for Laura every free minute, which had not been a lot. When Laura was off the water, after tuning for her race, Cass was in an interview. When she was in the gym, Laura was not. Finally, it got to be so obvious that Laura was avoiding her that she’d simply stopped looking. As much as she’d wanted to push, however, she also wanted to honor Sheila’s request to not get into things until after the races. She, too, knew how important it was to stay focused, so she’d stayed away.
Determined to enjoy her last days in Beijing, she’d watched the final heats along with Anne Landers, and her partner, Jane. Her heart ached to think that Laura had been at the hospital but not stayed to visit her when she was awake. Anne and Jane had celebrated with her team when Laura’s eight won the silver medal yesterday and both women promised to keep in touch with Cass after they returned home.
It was frustrating and she decided that tonight she would simply corner Laura and ask her what was up. Hey, it worked once before. You called her on her rudeness and she...what Cass? Opened up? Yeah, for about three weeks, then bam! Disappearing Laura. Crap. I don’t know what to do. I just know that I...
Spotting Laura again in the churning crowd, Cass decided it was worth one last shot. “You know what, Amy? You’re right. Let’s go.” She began to thread her way through the undulating crowd, Amy trailing along behind. Cass came to such an abrupt halt that Amy, still dancing, slammed into her.
“Hey!” Amy ducked under Cass’s arm to peer around her and then swore softly.
Cass felt her heart plummet as the strapping captain of the Australian women’s team swept Laura into a breathtaking, heart-stopping kiss. Cass spun away, her determination to talk to Laura waning. “I, uh, think it’s a moot point anyway.” Cass gave Amy a weak smile and headed back to where they had been before.
“Oh damn, Cass. I didn’t know...” Amy trailed off, and glanced back to where Laura was disentangling herself from Abby and glancing quickly around. That did not look like a woman in love. At least not in love with the person doing the kissing. Amy checked on Cass and saw that she was heading toward the edge of the athletes’ area. She turned again toward Laura and squared her shoulders. Time to find out what the hell was going on.
Several feet away, Laura pulled herself out of the unexpected embrace. Amy arrived in time to hear her mutter, “Abby!” She slapped the solid arm of the woman who’d accosted her. “What the hell are you doing?”
Abby grinned unrepentantly and gave her friend a last smacking kiss on the lips and this time, Amy noted with satisfaction, Laura actually winced. “Relax, mate, just saying hello!” Abby linked her arm with Laura’s, letting the music carry their movements for a moment as she watched her friend search the crowd. “Who’re ya looking for?”
Laura returned her old college roommate’s grin and dipped her head to the left. Abby followed her gaze, and then shook her head. “Uh, Laura, darlin,’ you’ll have to help me here, there’re a million lovely lasses over there.”
“Her, the little brunette.”
Amy watched Abby scan the cluster of women again before her eyes landed on Cass, who was at the moment enveloped in Big John Sullivan’s arms. Apparently they’d let the families enter the area now, and Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan, always popular with the team, had been dragged into the dancing with the U.S. squad.
“Ah...the one that big bloke’s holding tightly to?” Abby chuckled as Laura whipped her head around.
Amy spoke up from behind them. “That’s no bloke, that’s Sarah’s dad, John Sullivan.”
Suddenly serious, Abby smiled a hello at Amy but asked, “How is Sarah? That was bloody awful, that crash.”
Amy smiled up at Abby and then squeezed Laura’s arm, casually sliding between the two women as she joined them. “Sarah’s good, she’s going to be fine, according to the docs.” Giving Laura’s arm another squeeze she said, “Hey, Abby, I’m gonna steal Laura, okay?”
Giving Laura a last hug, Abby pushed her off toward where the U.S. team was gathered. “No worries, I’m off to cause a bit of mischief. Call me when you get home, eh?”
“Will do,” said Laura as Amy dragged her away.
“‘Ever-Ready Abby,’ Laura? What the hell’s up with that?” Amy pulled Laura through the growing crowd, hoping to spot Cass near the team.
“Hey, she grabbed me.” Laura glanced back over her shoulder. “Thanks for the rescue.”
“I didn’t see you fighting her off.” Amy paused, then added, “Neither did Cass.”
“Cass...oh crap. Did she see—”
“Yeah, and...dammit, Laura. You should have seen her face!”
“Crap,” Laura repeated, then scanned the crowd around them. “Where is she?”
Shrugging, Amy pushed through a groups of excited Dutch rowers. “I don’t know. I’m gonna head over that way,” she said, pointing. “You try over there. Call me if you find her so I’m not doing this all night.”
“Got it. And Amy?” Laura tugged Amy back. “Thanks. You’re a good friend.”
Amy just grinned and waved as she moved around the back of where the U.S. team was laughing and taking photos. Maybe she’d get lucky and spot Cass here. Or better yet, maybe Laura would get lucky...all around.
Chapter Forty-Two
Edging around a group of Irish and Swiss team members, Cass spotted Sheila near the media booth. As much as she didn’t want to go near the cameras, Cass wanted a moment with her coach. More, she wanted an escape. She stepped into Sheila’s line of sight and waited until the bright light of the camera snapped off before stepping forward.
“Coach?”
Sheila smiled and wrapped an arm around Cass’s shoulders, steering them both away from the cameras. “Hey.” She nodded toward the medal. “Great job, you know. I know I said it before, but...”
Cass lifted a hand to the disc and then looked up at Sheila. “Thanks. And...thanks, you know? I, literally, wouldn’t have this if you hadn’t—”
Sheila stopped them both at the edge of the crowd. “Cass, you are a terrific athlete and a welcome member of our team. I am never happy when a team member is injured, but I will be forever grateful that it was you we called.”
Cass could only nod as she fought to keep her voice steady. “I...you’ll never know Coach, just how much it meant to me that you included me on the team.”
“I have some idea.” Sheila wrapped her arms around Cass and gave her a hug. “So, what’d you need to see me for?”
Swallowing, Cass struggled for words. “I...can I get someone to take me back?”
“Are you okay?” Sheila tipped her head and looked closer.
“Yeah…” Cass offered a weak smile. She was overwhelmed, really. First the ceremony, then watching Laura get her medal and realizing just how much she wanted to celebrate with her. Just with her. To share in t
heir success together. To share more than that. She wanted her in ways she’d never wanted anyone, and then to see her wrapped in someone else’s arms... Despite her determination, Cass’s eyes filled with tears.
“Cass, what’s going on?”
Gritting her teeth, Cass just shook her head. This was her problem, her issue. On a day when she should be celebrating her highest achievement, she wanted nothing more than to curl up in her bed and cry. She felt as if her heart were breaking. She couldn’t get the image of Laura wrapped in the other woman’s arms out of her head. How could she have been so stupid? So naíve?
“Cass.” Sheila’s voice was soft, and she looked up to see that Sheila had led her around the back of the stands to where the vans waited. “Talk to me. What’s going on?”
“I...it’s okay, Coach. I’m just...overwhelmed, I think.” She lifted her head and met Sheila’s gaze steadily, hoping to convince her coach that she was good.
After a moment Sheila nodded. “I’ll hunt up Karen and have her run you back. Wait here.”
Sheila strode off, leaving Cass alone by the team van. She dipped her head and then slowly lifted the shining medal off her neck. Running her fingers along the finely woven red silk ribbon, she took a moment to steady herself. Get a grip, Cass. You’ve got a gold medal. You are not just an Olympian, but an Olympic champion. Closing her eyes, she let herself remember that shining moment when she and Sarah realized that they’d won. The thrill that had run through her. A thrill matched only by—
“Cass?”
Eyes still closed, Cass froze. The one person she’d wanted to see most in the world only a short time ago...the one person now she was trying desperately to get away from. She felt Laura move closer and held her breath, some vestige of childish determination filling her, telling her that if she didn’t open her eyes, didn’t breathe, Laura wouldn’t see her. She wouldn’t have to look up into those depthless green eyes.
