by Cari Quinn
She moaned, hinting at the nearness of her climax. Though he already knew. Her body strung tight in his hands, vibrating with each thrust. And her fingers were making slick, hungry noises from the friction of her damp flesh.
“More, Bry. I can come.” Wonder tinged her tone, the same wonder that had him pulling back only to sink deep, deeper.
She never seemed to stop giving. Even having every part of her open to him wasn’t enough. He needed to feel her spasms around his length while he was inside her. Hell, he was crazed to feel them. He fumbled around her hip until he covered her wet fingers with his own. Together they worked her sodden slit, rubbing, teasing, building the pressure.
Then she jolted forward on the bed, nearly dislodging his cock as she cried out and came in a pulsing rush against his palm. “Oh God, Bry.”
“I’m here. I’m with you.” The contractions echoed around his dick, seeming to go on and on. “Fuck, baby. I have to come.”
“I want it.” She moaned, still lost in her aftershocks. “Give it to me.”
An unexpected clench from her had his orgasm bulleting through him, hot and unrelenting, crushing everything in its path. He bit her shoulder to try to muffle his shout while he rode it out, but it was no use. He couldn’t stop the sounds spilling from his mouth, and he definitely couldn’t stop from thrusting into her again and again. His hips slapped against her ass as he drained himself into the condom, into her.
Sweet, perfect Jill. His.
Eventually he pulled out and cleaned both of them up. When he finally slumped to the mattress, she curled her arms around him. Her easy trust baffled and overwhelmed him and made him want to protect her at all costs. Even from himself, if necessary. “You okay?” he asked gruffly, needing to be certain what they’d done had meant to her what it had to him.
More than sex. More than lovemaking. More than he’d ever known before, ever.
“So very okay. Though I may not be able to walk tomorrow.” Her delighted laugh made him open one eye.
“You sound very pleased about that fact, Ms. St. John.”
“Absolutely. There’s so many exciting things to try. I love that we explore everything together.” She let out another laugh. “Well, even though you’ve explored all of this before.”
“Not like this,” he whispered. Not even close.
Sounding drowsy and satisfied, she snuggled closer. “So when can we do that again?”
He fell asleep with that playful question on his mind. As much as he knew he should extricate himself from her embrace and head home, he couldn’t do it. Exhausted and filled with bittersweet bliss, he held her and soon felt her relax into a soft sleep.
This was the fourth date. Only one remained.
Just one fucking date.
A short time later, his phone buzzed, pulling him back to wakefulness. Hating every movement that drew his body away from the warmth of hers, he rolled over and dug his cell out of his pants pocket. Seeing his agent’s name on the Caller ID made his breath catch painfully before he rubbed his hand over his chest and kick-started his heart again.
A call this late could only mean one of two things.
Either he was in—or he was out.
“Hank?” Brutally aware of Jill’s soft sleep sighs behind him, he lowered his voice so as not to disturb her. “What’s up?”
“There are big things on the table, Bryan.”
His throat grew dry. “Oh really? If that’s so, why haven’t you answered my phone calls this week?”
“I was lining up some important meetings for you, and I wanted to wait to speak to you until I could give you the good news.”
Rather than Hank’s statement eliciting joy, dread curdled in his stomach. “What news?”
“First off, how fast can you get back down here?”
Bryan closed his hand around his sore knee, inadvertently squeezing until a jolt rocked him and he let go. “I can’t. My sister’s wedding is next weekend. There’s the rehearsal this week, and we have other family stuff going on.”
Not that Vic would care if he split. From her tone tonight, she’d slotted him into the same category as their parents. Inconsistent and unpredictable, incapable of sticking close through anything other than smooth sailing. Yeah, that had been awesome to hear. He’d been thrilled for his buddies to hear that, too.
And Jill. He’d known Vic wouldn’t necessarily be happy about them being together, but he’d hoped she would come around. Fat chance. She’d probably take bets on him screwing up.
“You obviously haven’t been listening. The Mariners want you back, but only if you can get down here tomorrow to discuss terms. They want proof with their own eyes how you’re doing. Fact is, they have their eye on a restricted free agent, Riley—”
“Yeah, I’ve heard.” Let them have him. But he didn’t say it aloud. He came damn close, though.
“Riley’s young, and they can get him cheaper than you. His team doesn’t have the kind of cash to match the offer, not with the star power the Bucks are bringing on this season. If you don’t get down here now, they’re not going to wait around to sign you. It’ll be over.”
Bryan set his teeth. He couldn’t walk away right now, not after the night he’d spent with Jill. They needed to try to figure some of this crap out, and how was he supposed to do that if he was hundreds of miles away? “Can’t we work this preliminarily over the phone? They know what I can do on the field. Why do I have to prance in their dog and pony show?”
“What you could do pre-injury and post-surgery are two different things. To seal the deal, you need to be on-site, Townsend. Non-negotiable. I told them you had family business going on, but we both know none of that matters as much as this.” Hank paused. “If you want another chance at MVP, this is it. You head north and you’ll end up on a team that’s rebuilding and keeps your ass warming the bench more than on the field. You want serious minutes this season? This is your ticket.”
“What if I come down for a night or two and fly back?”
“It doesn’t work like that. You know this. There will be meetings and press and workouts. All of that takes time, and we have to be amenable to their schedule. Christ, has being up north freeze-dried your brain or what?” Hank laughed. “You don’t sound like the Bryan Townsend who left here ten days ago.”
He didn’t feel like him either. As hurt as he’d been after Vic’s comments, he hadn’t been ready to pack it in with Jill. Especially when she’d given him her keys and shown him by her actions that she wasn’t about to be dissuaded from pursuing things with him.
But that didn’t mean he had any illusions that they could work long-term. Vic had rammed that point home. He never wanted to be the cause of a rift between Jill and her best friend. Vic was Jill’s family. The only family she had left.
Besides, she’d never been with any other guys. She should sow her wild oats, see what else was out there. God help her if she got shackled to him first thing out of the gate. If he cared about her, he’d do the right thing and step back to give her the room to explore.
He gripped the back of his neck and fought back the bile in his throat. Whatever was best for Jill, he would do. Bottom line.
“The timing sucks,” he told Hank flatly. “You could’ve told me about the Yorn rumors before I heard them from my teammates. I’m not feeling like you or Bannion have a lot of confidence in me.”
“Of course that isn’t true. But it might be time for a refresher. Get down here tomorrow and show us what Bryan Townsend’s made of, then we’ll all talk.”
What Bryan Townsend’s made of. He was beginning to wonder himself.
Football was his life. He didn’t know how to do anything else. He’d sacrificed his family and friends for the game. If he turned his back on it now, he’d have nothing. He sure as fuck didn’t deserve Jill, and that was even if she was down for more than some hot sex with a notorious football player. He truly didn’t think she was about that. They went back way too far and had shared too mu
ch. But how could he be sure? Even his own sister didn’t believe in him.
Football wouldn’t lie to him or leave him or make him doubt his worth. He knew the rules there, and he played by them.
“Thanks for setting this up, Hank. I’ll call you tomorrow morning when I have a plan,” he said and clicked off.
All it took was the rustle of sheets behind him for him to realize he’d been overheard. “Good news about football?”
The eagerness in her tone helped mitigate the Mylanta moment going on in his gut. Slightly. “I don’t know if it’s bad or good yet. There’s…progression on that front.”
“They need you there before Vic’s wedding.”
No point in lying to her or dragging this out. “Yes.”
“Are you going to go?”
Not do you want to go? Or is there any other option than to leave now? Or hell, even an I don’t want you to leave yet. Just a bald question asked with no inflection at all.
Suddenly, he felt so tired. “What choice do I have?”
“You owe me one more date,” she said stiffly.
Ignoring the temptation to grip his knee again, he fisted the bedding instead. That was how she helped him make a decision he didn’t want to make? By putting his ridiculous agreement between them again? He never should’ve limited their dates. Never should’ve limited anything between them.
“Owe?” he repeated evenly.
“Yes, owe.” She sat up, drawing the sheet tight over his groin. Just her voice and movement caused his shaft to wake. “You don’t want to prove your sister right.”
He jerked to his feet and pivoted to face her. The bone-deep ache in his injured knee seemed only fitting. “Christ, Jill, you’re no better than she is if you think I need to be shamed into fulfilling agreements I shouldn’t have made in the first place.” You obviously don’t think any more of me than she does, either.
Her face remained impassive. “Just pointing out that what you do matters to people. To your sister, for one.”
“Oh yeah? Is that why she was so insistent about painting me as an unreliable jackass earlier this evening? Because I matter so much?” He leaned forward and braced his fists on the pillow beside Jill that still bore the indentation of his head. “What about you? Do I matter that much to you, too?”
For an instant, her expression crackled with something dangerously close to fury. Then her features smoothed out into that mask of indifference again. “You owe me another date.”
Jesus, she was better at twisting the knife than he would’ve given her credit for. “Then what?” he countered. “I erase my rep—with you at least—as a fickle, untrustworthy jerk because at least I’ve kept my word in this one small thing? Or is the fact that I set a limit on this arrangement in the first place the point entirely?”
Her chin trembled before she controlled it. “I understand that you need boundaries.”
The fissures inside him split open, swallowing everything on the solid ground around them. “I need fucking boundaries? If you’d say that to me after tonight, then I guess there’s nothing more to say.”
She grabbed the bedding and yanked it up to her chin, pissing him off even further. Her hiding herself from him after they’d shared—after they’d shared that—made him want to demand she never retreat behind any kind of wall again. Demands were all he had to fall back on, mainly because this was his fault. He’d put that doubt in her eyes. She didn’t believe in him, because he hadn’t given her enough reason to. A little over a week didn’t erase a decade’s knowledge of the kind of person he was.
And that right there was the crux of the matter. Agreeing to date and playing the respectability game didn’t change a damn thing. No one thought he could change. Maybe they were right.
He was a football player. That was his role, and he’d once filled it well. He could again, if he just focused on the area where he’d succeeded in the past. Unlike this one, where he never had.
Silently, he pulled on his pants. Walking away from this woman and what they’d found together in this room would be one of the hardest things he’d ever done. If he didn’t go now, he wouldn’t be able to.
“The wedding was supposed to be our fifth date.” She stared somewhere over his shoulder, not meeting his eyes.
He shrugged on his shirt and forced himself to do up the buttons. “We already had more than five if we count all the time we spent together.”
“No, we didn’t. You don’t get to make the rules. It takes both of us.”
“Yeah, but I can’t be counted on to play fair, remember?” His mouth quirked as he shoved his feet into his shoes and snatched his phone. “Look, Jill, let’s just be real. If my own sister thinks I’m not a decent enough guy to treat you the way you deserve, you have to take that seriously. Maybe you think you can goad me into showing Vic she’s wrong by sticking around for our date, but it’s just delaying the inevitable. I’m no good for you.”
Her cheeks reddened as she punched her pillow behind her back. “Says who? Vic?”
“Vic’s only pointing out the obvious. I don’t have the best track record when it comes to choosing others over myself.” He hissed out a breath. “And you should have nothing less.”
“But it’s not that sim—”
“What would your mother think of you settling for me?”
Her hesitation said more than words ever could. His concerns about leaving her faded under the certainty that he had no other option. This wasn’t about what was better for him or what he wished like hell he could keep in his life. Her.
This was about what was best for Jill, now and in the future, when the brief high of their relationship had faded into bitterness over who he would never be.
“Consider this agreement ended,” he said. “One more thing I couldn’t hold up my end of the bargain on.” Without giving her a chance to weaken his resolve, he did what everyone expected. He walked out the door.
Once he reached the hallway outside her apartment, he stopped trying not to limp.
…
Against all odds, she somehow slept. Not even dreams kept her company in the night. And when she woke, she knew he hadn’t returned.
She wouldn’t sit up and find him in her bathroom, looking deliciously sexy in his towel and smelling of her soap. She pressed her face into the pillow, searching for his citrus-and-sandalwood scent. That no longer remained, either.
Her eyes grew damp, but she refused to open them and let the tears escape. She’d had her chance to reach him, and she’d failed. Sex was how he preferred to communicate, and she’d tried to prove to him that she wasn’t some sweet kid who couldn’t handle his needs.
Hell, who was to say he could handle all of hers? She hadn’t begun to get a grip on them yet. For all she knew, she’d develop a host of wild fetishes and end up shoving him past his comfort zone. If he ever came back.
It had been even worse when she’d tried to convince him to stay without pouring out her feelings. Perhaps she should have. But God, she’d been so frightened he would reject her outright if she told him she loved him that she’d fallen back on that hardline comment about him owing her a date.
He didn’t owe her anything, except another chance for her to get loving him right.
She had to keep it together. After the night they’d spent together, there was no way he could leave her permanently. He had team business to attend to, and yes, the Vic thing had been a speed bump, but everyone knew Vic tended to speak without thinking and could challenge a mama bear for the title of Most Overprotective. She adored her brother.
She’d adore him even more when she learned all the sweet things he’d been doing lately. Interceding on their father’s behalf to bring him to the wedding, trying with their mom, even spending time with Dillon at the Helping Hands houses, according to what he’d told her the other morning. And how he’d been with the kittens.
Why he hid all of the good sides of his nature, Jill didn’t know. It was as if he didn’t want people to
expect him to be a decent guy in case he couldn’t live up to it.
But he was, in so many ways.
Swallowing hard, she grabbed her phone and called the cat rescue center. Once she ascertained Ernie was stable and doing as well as could be expected, she sent Bryan a quick text. It took everything she possessed to stay casual.
Maybe we can do a rewrite on last night’s convo? Let me know. XO
As soon as she sent it, she regretted the XO. Too clingy? Too nonchalant? Cripes, how was she supposed to know how to react in this situation? Her limited range of life experiences didn’t extend to this. She’d never had an actual boyfriend that lasted more than a month, and that had been a while ago. God knew she had no experience with lovers. And Bryan didn’t fit neatly into any of those categories.
She shivered and bit her lip at the renewed sting in her bottom. Last night had been beyond words. She’d never felt closer to anyone than she had to him. But he’d just…left.
She stared at her phone, willing it to ring. When it became clear it wouldn’t, she called Vic.
Her best friend answered on the second ring. “Oh, thank God. I’ve been sitting here hoping you would call. Do you hate me? Please don’t hate me. I swear, I’ll butt out. I’ll never say anything about you being with Bryan ever again, I promise.” She huffed out a breath. “If he makes you happy, it makes me happy. All I ever wanted is for you both to be in a good place.”
“He wasn’t here when I woke up,” Jill whispered. “He got the call to go back to his team, and I didn’t explain how I felt. I did it all wrong. Then he left. This morning I texted him, but he hasn’t answered.”
Vic didn’t answer for so long that Jill hunched her shoulders and burrowed deeper into the pillows. “He’s backing off because of me,” Vic said flatly.
“That would be an easy explanation, but I think there may be more to it than that. His agent wanted him back in Maryland now for team business. He has a life there.” She dabbed at her cheeks. “And God, I can’t convince him I don’t need his protection from himself.”
“Protection how?”
