by Hannah West
She took his arm and wrapped hers about it. “Nonsense,” she chimed, “I can handle a bit of dirt, my lord.” She gave him her best smile. “I use to love to play in the dirt as well.”
It took Cesare a moment to realize she had been jesting with him and it felt good. He gave a snorting laugh saying, “You are most cheeky, my lady.”
She grinned up at him.
…
Their talk was light and pleasant until he asked about her past. The light in her eyes dimmed and her tone grew distant.
“I do not remember much before I was taken to the abbey, but what I do remember was a nightmare. “My sire was a kind man to his peers of the realm, but the real man he was, was a monster. He used to beat my mother and he beat me once. I almost died and that’s when my mother tried to run away with me.
He sent me away as punishment, but before I was taken away…I watched her die at his hands,” she whispered brokenly. The images flashing before her eyes. “I still live with those nightmares.” Her eyes burned. “May his soul rot in hell where it belongs!”
He was stunned by her harsh words. Never would he have thought her to say them.
She wiped away the tears from her sparkling eyes. “The only life where I was happy had been at the abbey. Now thanks to my foolishness for running away I have no home to go back to and that happiness is gone. I am resigned to my fate to your king now.”
Cesare took one of his hands and laid it atop of hers. “William is hard, but he is fair. He will do right by you, I am sure.”
“It would be a nice promise, but you should not make those you cannot keep.” She turned her hand under his so they were palm to palm. “It would be nice,” she sighed softly before removing her hand.
He wanted to reach out and claim her hand once more but he fought the urge.
Why did he feel like he needed to protect her? Why this need to comfort?
She reminded him of when he had been young, before William had taken him in under his wings. She was kindred to him, he reasoned, that is why he felt the way he did.
He waited for her to rise and leave but she did not. She simply sat silently for a long moment then turned her eyes to him. It would seem she had questions of her own.
Chapter Fifteen
Evelyn came back to herself after a flash of bad memories better left buried in the past. She looked away from the fire in the hearth and focused on the man sitting across from her.
“I beg your pardon for being so scattered brained. I have a hard time talking about the past that drags up things would rather have forgotten by now. I would not like to relive them, even in my own mind.”
She waited for another question, but he just nodded in understanding.
“What of you,” Evelyn asked him. “Do you have any such memories?”
“Aye, that I do. As you say, they are better left were they lay.” His expression darkened.
“Do you have anything you enjoy doing? I like to sow and I can mend just about anything,” he asked to lighten the dark mood that had fallen.
She watched as the tension left his shoulders.
“Riding,” he said after a moment. “It makes me feel as if I can fly away and leave all the troubles behind. Gives me peace when no could be had anywhere else.”
“Ride? As in with horses?” she asked in a breathy voice. “Is that truly what it is like? I have never seen a horse up close nor have I learned to ride before coming here.”
“I do not suppose you have, being from the convent at the abbey,” he agreed, with an amused grin.
She smiled at his humor too, eyes growing dreamy. “What it feels like to fly,” she murmured. “Must be wondrous.”
“I shall teach you to ride then as part of our bargain,” he said trying not to smile at her hopeful look.
But he watched as it died as she remembered her arm.
“But I cannot learn to ride either. I have almost no use in my arm even with it healing.”
“I can get you a gentle mount and you could learn to ride with me first.” He waited with baited breath for her answer.
Evelyn was brimming with so much happiness and excitement she flung herself across the space between them to hug him.
He stilled in her arms but she hadn’t noticed yet.
“You are the best of the best!” She pulled back to meet his gaze, “Thank you. Truly, I mean it.”
She pulled him close for one more hug.
Suddenly he wrapped his arms around her and gave her a brief squeeze before setting her aside.
“You are most welcome,” he said in a voice gone husky.
She gave him a sweet smile. Her heart was fluttering and Evelyn felt almost breathless with joy.
He had been warm and had an earthy almost spice like scent. She admitted to herself he had smelled good.
She watched as his face stained red and he rose from his chair to head up the stairs to his chambers. He turned back and for a moment Evelyn thought he would leave without a word, but she saw a question in his eyes.
He gave her pause and confused her as she never been before. She didn’t know anything of men; it would seem she would have to learn if she were ever to understand her.
…
“What be your name?” he asked her after a moment. He watched as her eyes widened briefly.
“My name is Evelyn,” she smiled while speaking, “what of yours?”
“You have no need of my name,” he said about to turn away once more.
“How is it fair you know my name, but I not be granted the knowledge of yours?” she asked with brows raised in question.
“You have no need of it, but I had need of yours. I like to know the names of people I let within my walls and home.”
“Well I like to know the name of the people I befriend. You might be dangerous to one such as I,” she quipped. “I simply refuse to call you forever by ‘my lord’ and I will not call you ‘Lord Norfolk’.”
She suddenly felt the urge to bite her lip. Hoping he would not question her on why she would not call him, she gave a dramatic sigh. She was disappointed that he would not share his name, that he would not trust her with something so simple. For what was in a name that he could deny her?
She gave him a serious look. “I shall await the day you trust me with your name. However I am going to make every attempt to guess it until then.” Evelyn gave him a wide grin. “Until later then, John.”
She turned and started for the front doors, she would enjoy the pretty spring day.
“That is not the name I was given,” he called after her retreating form.
She giggled and knew he had heard her.
Chapter Sixteen
Cesare watched as Evelyn slowly made her way over to him and his horse. She stopped several long paces away when the mount swung his large head in her direction. Her expression was filled with awe, but tainted with fear.
This was the first time he had seen her scared of something other than himself. This Evelyn was very confusing, she had many sides to her he had yet to see and was still trying to put everything together. She was a puzzle and he wanted to solve her mysteries.
He watched her as she studied the horse and gave him a look of dismay. She swallowed, look back to the horse, and then back to him again. He stopped himself from laughing and put on a stern expression.
“I must admit I might have been wrong about wanting to learn.”
He winged a brow up in question. “How so, Lady Evelyn?”
She blushed at the use of her name and answered, “I fear he is too large to ride and I find I am nervous.” She looked down at her feet.
Warmth welled within him at her speaking the truth. Most would never own up to such.
And no lady he knew was as bold or bluntly honest as she. The ladies he knew from court were more akin to snakes unlike Evelyn who was much like a lamb.
He laughed softly as he took a hold of her uninjured hand and pulled her gently next to him where he was next to the horse
. “You can handle a wolf, but not a horse? I don’t believe that for nary a moment. Come around to his front and let him see you, feel you.”
He lifted her hand in his and lifted it to the velvety nose of the horse.
Then his mount’s nose touched their intertwined hands she gasped softly and looked back at him with sparkling eyes.
“His nose is soft!”
He laughed softly, “Indeed.”
The horse bumped their hands with his nose.
“And it appears he remembers you from when we met the first time in the forest.”
She went still in his arms and twisted around to look up into his eyes directly.
He felt a jolt go through him at the contact of their eyes and he couldn’t help himself as he looked over her face. She was so fair, so lovely he wondered if his heart would ever beat a steady rhythm again.
She was close enough to him that as she breathed in her chest barely grazed his own and he swallowed a groan. After a moment he felt her fingers graze his cheek and down to his chin.
“It is strange is it not, how things can change,” she sighed softly and removed her hand. “Now what do we do?”
He slowly, almost painfully, took a step back away from her. He gave her the only answer that he could pull of his clouded mind. “We go for a ride.”
And what sweet, blissful torture that would be for him.
She eyed the beast once more with a wondering eye. “How am I to mount him?”
“Just like this,” he said grabbing her by the waist and lifting her up onto the horse. She shrieked as he lifted her and then proceeded to hop on behind her. He wrapped a thick arm around her and kicked the horse into motion.
…
Evelyn was equal parts flustered and excited. She held on to the arm clasped around her middle with all her might as the horse’s pace lengthened and evened out. She felt safe cradled between his legs and in his arms. After a few moments her nerves left her and she was left breathless by the feeling of flying.
He had been right.
One by one her fingers released their death grip on his arm and with a breathless laugh she lifted both arms into the air like wings.
Evelyn knew he smiled at her child like joy, but she cared not.
They rode in silence for a while but soon the pain in her overshadowed her new found joy.
Evelyn gave his arms a squeeze and he used his arm to squeeze her back, which caused her to squeak in surprise.
Soon they slowed to a stop by a small outcropping of trees and rocks.
Evelyn took in the surroundings as he dismounted and spotted the forest off in the distance and the imposing fortress the castle was, behind them. It was one of those rare spring days the sun shone majestically in the cloudless blue sky.
“Lady Evelyn?”
She smiled at him. “Yes, Lord James?”
He shook his head with a smile at her jest. “Wrong again, my lady.”
“I am just starting, you know. Just you wait.”
“I do await for you,” he said without thinking about it and went still.
Obtuse to the thoughts running amuck in his head, Evelyn took his meaning another way.
“You need not await then. I can dismount on my own,” she said in a stiff tone.
She swung one leg around so both were on the same side of the horse. She had the plan of sliding off the horse when strong hands encircled her waist and lifted her down.
“I told you I could do it myself,” she snapped at him.
“Ah, but you did not have too,” he said with a small smile.
Not normally one to give into fits of anger, Evelyn could not help herself. “What is so amusing,” she demanded. She was tempted to stomp her foot like a small child.
His dark locks tumbled about in the light breeze, his dark eyes watching her like a hawk. She studied his chiselled face as she waited for an answer. She had marvelled over the touch of his skin and the strength of his arms.
“What amuses me is not you, but how you act. You dare much what no one else ever has. I have wondered why time and time again, but have no answer.” He gave Evelyn a rueful smile.
With his sudden question her ire was gone and replaced by the same wondering. In the end she shrugged.
“I am not sure. I was taught to be truthful and forth right, however when it comes to us I believe it’s to do a measure of comfort and trust we hold in our friendship. If not, I know not why. This is just our way.”
“We’ll take a short rest here and then get back to the castle,” he said after a moment and walked away from her to sit on a nearby large stone.
Chapter Seventeen
The ride back was less enjoyable in the stony silence and ridge set of his body. The only thing Evelyn could think of that would have darkened his mood was that he was angry with something she had said or did. She went back over it in her head and could not think of anything that would trigger that response.
When they rode back within the inner bailey, before he could dismount, she grabbed his arm that was around her waist and held on tight to it.
She turned her head and looked up at him. His expression was indeed dark and scowling.
“What have I done to anger you so?” she asked him, both curious to the answer and confused.
A muscle ticked in his set jaw.
“You have done nothing,” he said, and then he tried to pull away from her.
She wouldn’t let him.
“Something must have happened,” she insisted.
“There is nothing. Now remove your hand,” he said tersely.
“I shall not. You will either have to tell me or push me from this horse, if you wish to dismount,” Evelyn said tartly back.
“Do not tempt me,” he grated.
Which caused Evelyn to remain in her seat upon his lap, wiggling to find spot so he would have a harder time pushing her off.
“There,” she exclaimed happily, “try and remove me now!”
…
Cesare bit back a groan of agonized pleasure as the minx resettled herself in his lap, getting a firmer seat. “Get off,” he bit out.
“Nay,” she protested with delight.
If she had been a maid from court he would accuse her of doing it a purpose. However he knew she had been raised among the nuns at the abbey and had no idea the wicked offences she courted and did not know the price of those actions.
That is what he was angered over. That he had grown desirous for her and she was an innocent, one who unknowingly fanned the flame of his desire. He had realized when they stopped to rest that his acknowledgement of her had ted from friend to something more, something hotter.
Cesare looked around them and saw people were starting to notice and that was something he would not stand for. But he knew Evelyn would not give up without a fight.
Defeated he gave a heaving sigh and leaned in close to her ear. “I shall tell you if we get off this horse. I will not speak of the matter I must in public.”
She looked back at him for a moment with those trusting eyes and nodded once before letting go of his arm.
They dismounted shortly after and Cesare led them inside and to his personal solar.
After he saw her seated in a chair across from his work table, he took to pacing the length of the room.
By the saints, how was he to tell her without being vulgar or lecherous? How could he make an innocent understand such things?
Lady Evelyn cleared her throat and broke through his thoughts. He looked at her in surprise.
She smiled. “Say it already and be done with this. Stop dragging your boots in the mud. I prefer plain speaking.”
Cesare rubbed a hand on the back of his neck. She would have to know lest she fell prey to another less honourable man. Not all would be as honourable as he. He admitted to himself that he did not want to lose the comfort they had come to share. Cesare never would have known the like before and he would be sore to lose it.
Determined to keep wh
at they had, he demanded, “No matter what I need to say, you must promise me that nothing between us will change. I am not willing to lose our new found friendship.”
She seemed quite surprised by his demand and her mouth opened for a moment then closed.
…
Evelyn opened her mouth to ask why he would ask such a thing of her, but truly it mattered naught to her. She was always cherish their friendship and forgive him his rash actions. So she merely nodded her agreement to his question.
His fierce expression softened a fraction. He struggled for what to say and ended up sighing with frustration. “Our agreement upon friendship was to teach,” he began. “Lady Evelyn with you raised by nuns there are simple things you have done, that you do not understand. You would not be permitted to do these as an unwed, young noble woman of virtue.”
She watched as he shirted uncomfortably. Truly she had no idea of what he was saying. What she had done had been wrong.
“What have I done wrong?”
“You may be unaware of that which you do.” He swallowed, “I am at fault for allowing some of it to happen. The way we have touched is meant only for those we are intimate with such as family or the people we are betrothed to. Our meetings like this now were we are alone are not something we should do as well.”
“But we are friends, my lord. Surely we are intimates of a kind, are we not,” she asked of him.
…
She was so innocent it was almost damaging. Cesare’s plan of simplifying this matter was just not going to work. Watching her nibble at her bottom lip as she puzzled things over was beginning to become torture. He, himself, wanted a taste of her berry red lips upon his own.
He silently groaned as if pained, as blood began to pound in places it had no right being.
