Even though she had known for years how he felt only familial affection for her, her body and mind still gravitated towards him as if she could change his mind somehow, even when she knew she couldn’t.
Damn, she knew better than to let her mind lead down this type of road. Ever since her teenage crush on him she knew he had been inaccessible. Hell, she had never been accused of being stupid, but she knew an unreachable dream when she saw one.
The ceiling above her was not going to give her the answers she needed, but she stared at it anyway. Seconds later Drake walked in carrying a prescription bottle and some water. Nadia sat up in the bed and pushed away every salacious thought she had of him. It wouldn’t change anything and she couldn’t do anything about it, so she might as well live with it.
***
After dosing up Nadia and watching her make her way into the bathroom for a shower, Drake went into her kitchen. The day had turned slightly overcast, with clouds gliding over the blinding sun every few minutes. As the spotted light crept through the window, Drake made a pot of coffee but skipped the breakfast. It was almost lunchtime anyway.
The bright, cheerful sound of a mockingbird slipped into his ears. Drake braced his hands on Nadia’s countertop and controlled the urge to rip it in half.
He had felt rage before. Christ, he had been alive for over 200 years. Every emotion known to man had flooded through his body at one point or another. Sorrow, heartbreak, fear and all-consuming wrath when his family had been taken from him. Yes, he thought to himself as the mockingbird flitted over to window and trilled especially for Drake, he had known many feelings throughout his long life. It was only now that he was considering hunting down Donavan and actually plunging headlong into the fray of anger that had hold of him, that he wanted that sick human’s blood on his hands.
He was considering murder-killing another human being! Drake shook his head and dropped it between his shoulders. He had been raised by loving, strict parents, and had been taught moral codes and values that were sometimes lacking in today’s generations. If his parents, heck, his family could see what he was thinking now, he would be swallowing a couple of his teeth from his mother’s slap, while his father would be asking him if he needed help hunting down the bastard. It didn’t matter that his immediate family had been dead for a long, long time. He could sense them turning in their graves.
It wasn’t as if he had never taken a human life before. He had, but that had been during war and times of major upheaval in Texas. Things had been different then for the new state and its warring people. But this, this was something that Drake knew was wrong. Premeditated murder was not something that was forgivable. The bad thing was his Druid nature sometimes overruled his human nature. Things that seemed so cut and dry as a human were slightly more fuzzy and unrecognizable when his powers were on full force. The push of his energy was telling him that he needed to right this wrong. What had been done to Nadia last night was a punishable offense. He knew better than to think that Donavan would go to jail. The asshole had too many connections and probably had favors to turn in. Fucking bastard, he would walk around, more than able to taunt Nadia at his pleasure.
Drake had to make sure that she put a restraining order against him. Last night she had been in pain and too upset to finish everything at the police station, but if Drake had his way, he would drag her back there kicking and screaming the moment she left the shower.
“You’re still here?”
Nadia’s voice kicked thoughts of murder and bloodshed to the curb. Drake turned as she walked stiltedly into the kitchen. Long black hair was damp and curling at the ends. Her face was devoid of makeup and she was wearing jean shorts and a tee shirt that claimed, I read minds…and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Drake couldn’t help the smile that tilted the corners of his mouth. He was still awed that she had managed to slip past his radar and sneak up behind him, but the shirt made up for it. It wasn’t often that he saw her relaxed enough to wear something like that around him or anyone else.
He ignored her question. “Nice shirt,” he told her as he leaned back on the counter behind him.
The blush started at her collarbone then traveled up, tinting the tops of her cheeks. He could feel the surprise and astonishment that she felt, not to mention the slightest bit of sexual desire drifting from her, now that he knew to look for it. His heart sputtered then resumed with such force that Drake cleared his throat and automatically turned his feelers off. No way would he be able to get through a single conversation with her if he kept imagining his hands on her body.
“Thanks,” she murmured, brushing past him on her way to the coffee machine. “Thanks for making the coffee too.”
“No problem.”
Minutes later she sat at the table with a huge mug of steaming coffee while Drake stayed by the counter with his own cup, knowing better than to get too close to someone that intrigued him that much.
She cleared her throat, “About last night…” Huge green eyes peered up at him from where she was sitting and a fist squeezed his heart. He had saved her from Lord knew what last night. Just the words brought reality smashing down on him. Donavan could have raped her, murdered her, or violated her and left her broken, lying there on the pavement. Drake counted his blessings again for attending the party last night. He didn’t want to think about what would have happened if he hadn’t been there.
His eyes slid back to her because he knew she wanted to thank him properly. That was the way she had been raised, almost with the same morals and values as he. His breath sputtered when he noticed the sheen of tears in her eyes and the trembling of her small chin. It was enough to make a grown man feel inconsequential.
“I can’t thank you enough for what you did.” She fiddled with the handle of the huge mug she had in front of her as she spoke, “I never…never would have thought that Donavan would do something so horrible…and to me of all people.” Those large haunted eyes of hers swam in tears as she looked up at him. Her fingers left the mug and went to her mouth, then to the back of her neck. He imagined she was feeling more than stressed. Hopefully the pills would help with that.
“I never expected to see you out there. I thought my every option to get away was gone.”
Drake shook his head negatively, trying to pump up her self esteem, “With the way you screamed, I knew in that instant something wasn’t right.” He put his cup down on the counter beside him, then turned his eyes back to hers, trying to will some of his strength into her small frame. “Don’t think that you weren’t doing enough to protect yourself…you were. I’m sure if I wouldn’t have come along you would have maimed him in your own way.” He smiled slightly, trying to inject some humor to lighten the situation. He would rather see her smile than cry.
She did smile, but it wasn’t near what he wanted to see. She looked all around then came back to him leaning there. Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears and in that second Drake realized that Nadia had grown up right before his eyes. She had a confidence, although bruised and battered, that radiated her self worth to those around her. Even with the incident last night, she still sat straight and solid at her table. She was only teary eyed because of her gratitude, not because of what had happened. To be on the receiving end of that honest, pure emotion made Drake feel about two inches tall.
She was no longer the small, gangly, uncertain daughter of his accountant. She was no longer the teenager that followed him around with huge, innocent green eyes. She was a woman. She was capable, strong, and beautiful, but most of all, the innocence, the purity, and that unknown sparkle in her eyes were still there. Her progression from young lady to full blown woman hadn’t changed her. Drake admired that.
He was still extremely glad that he had arrived when he did last night, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t think she couldn’t have gotten her way out of that situation. When Nadia wanted something, she was damn determined. He would never put anything past her.
“Thank
you, again. I will never be able to repay you.” Her voice was slightly scratchy and hoarse but Drake latched onto the word ‘repay’ and turned it over and over in his mind.
“You’re welcome,” he told her, but in his mind he thought of ways he could get her to repay him. And he knew all of them would shock her silly. Immediately, he blocked those thoughts. Nadia should never feel as if she had to repay him for anything, especially with something like this.
Drake shook those thoughts from his mind. This was still Nadia, the same Nadia that he had watched over from a distance for years. And even though he knew she found him attractive and desirable, that didn’t mean that he was going to give in and start seducing her with the intent of sex.
You just keep reminding yourself of what and who you are, your past with women that get too close, and what Nadia would think if she knew the real you. That should stall any thoughts of lust at once.
Turning, Drake went back to the counter and stared out the window.
Listen to that voice in your head. You know its right.
Yeah, but the bad thing was that Drake knew that if he allowed it, Nadia would turn out to be much more than just sex. And there was no way that he could allow her to twist herself into his life and heart.
***
By Tuesday of the next week Nadia had finished up with the police reports and restraining orders, much to Drake’s enjoyment. If she had to hear from him one more time about the pros of a restraining order, she would lose her mind. She knew it had to be done, so she’d done it. Of course the nightmarish scene from the street had played out in her mind since then, so that had also given her some incentive to get the order immediately.
“Girl, have some more dessert,” Renee’s voice slipped in under Nadia’s radar and snapped her back to the present. She was having dinner at Renee’s house, and Renee was doing everything she could to fish out details from the night of the incident.
“I honestly don’t think I could eat anything else,” she told Renee as she placed her empty plate in the sink and turned to catch the frown on the redhead’s face.
“I can’t ever remember you turning down another serving of my ‘better than sex cake.’ Now I know you are still feeling ill effects from last weekend.” Renee gave her a small smile and poured her another glass of wine. “C’mon, come sit back down and tell me how Mr. Drake Thompson made everything all better.” She gave Nadia a salacious wink as she said that and moved towards her living room, pulling Nadia along with her.
Plopping down in a deep, soft loveseat Nadia tried to evade Renee and her questions, but she knew it was a foregone thing. “He did what he had to do to secure the situation and then he made sure I felt okay before leaving me alone.” Nadia listened to herself explain the rescue in some clinical way, but all she really remembered was the smooth, almost unhurried way that Drake had disposed of Donavan.
Her mind had remembered other things hours and days later, like the strong current that had slipped in and around her body when Drake had interfered. Another odd thing was the growling noise she heard. It had sounded like an animal, something wild and thoroughly upset. Her dream image of the man with the bright eyes popped up in her mind immediately.
“He stayed with you overnight?” Renee gushed. “You are one lucky, lucky woman.”
Nadia rolled her eyes. “He was only making sure I was okay. It wasn’t as if he had ulterior motives for coming to my house, Renee.”
“Honey, when a man like him comes to your house, you make him find ulterior motives.” Blue eyes full of friendship peered at Nadia. “If you care for him as much as you say you do why don’t you make a move? I honestly don’t think he will toss you away if he knows how you feel.”
Nadia had told Renee about Drake and how she felt for him just two days ago, right after the incident with Donavan. Since she had been on medication for anxiety, she chocked that up as an excuse for letting her secretary know her personal business. If she was being honest with herself though, it was like a load off of her chest to be able to share the news with another woman, one that she considered a friend.
She shook her head and took another cold sip of wine. “I wouldn’t waste my time on him.”
Renee reared back in shock. “Waste your time? Honey, have you really taken a good look at the man? Dear God, he’s beyond delicious, and he is settled. He has his own business; he has money. I could go on and on.”
Nadia nodded, “I know.”
“Then why are you so broken up about it? I have never known you to be so determined to ignore something that I know you want. I can name numerous times in the past where you have been like a bulldog with something that you wanted badly for your magazines or your charity work.”
Nadia sat there listening to Renee, knowing what she said was true, but also knowing Renee would never understand her viewpoint. Renee was a go getter with men, like Nadia was with business. With her upfront, in your face sexuality, Renee was someone that Nadia wished she could be like when it came to a masculine God like Drake. Unfortunately, she knew that would never happen. She was wired differently.
“Let’s get something straight right now. I will never be a forceful, sexual go getter. And even if I were, I’m not attracted to anyone like I am to Drake.” Nadia brought up a finger to make a point. “And, I’m repeating myself here, but like I said, he would never want me like that.”
Renee’s face was priceless.
“Honey, he is a red blooded man. Scratch that, he is a red blooded Texas man. You blink at him the right way, and I guarantee that he would crawl over cut glass for you.”
“Yeah, right, not when he has every woman in five states clamoring after him. It is sickening.”
Renee slapped her on the shoulder. “Wake the hell up girl! You are a successful, beautiful, and caring woman. Drake knows this. All you have to do is make him realize that you are up for anything he throws at you.”
Nadia rubbed her aching bicep and sent Renee a glare. “Those are nice words, but I know for a fact he doesn’t want me like that because it came straight from his mouth.”
Now Renee looked really confused. “But I don’t see why he wouldn’t want you. There is nothing about you that is repulsive. Any guy would be lucky to have you.” Renee shook her head. “I just don’t get it.”
Neither did Nadia. And she had learned it from the horse’s mouth, so to speak. She hadn’t wanted to believe him, but her young heart had shattered with his words and after that she had never tried to push her feelings or desires onto him. It had taken her months to even think about the conversation without breaking down in tears.
“He picked me up for a dinner date on my seventeenth birthday.” Nadia blinked back stupid teenage emotions. “Of course being the naïve and idealistic young girl that I was, I expected something that I never would get. What I got was Drake with a supermodel of his and my night turned crappy from there on. At the end of the dinner date I listened with half an ear to Drake telling Ms. Skinny that her notions of my adolescent crush were unfounded. He managed in mere words to tear down any illusions that I had right then and there.”
Blue eyes gave her a long look. “Nadia, that was when you were seventeen. It has nothing to do with now. Surely you realize that.”
She just shook her head and remembered the pain from that night. She had primped and planned, strategized to get her look just right, and inside she knew that it was all for nothing. He was an older man and she was a teenager. What would she have done for him? But it hadn’t stopped her and by the end of the night she had learned her lesson the hard way. She could still hear his deep voice in her head.
“Chantal, she is just a teenager.”
“But Drake I can practically feel her stripping you down in her mind whenever you aren’t looking.”
“Don’t be absurd. She is a child who is lost and looking for someone’s help. Besides, if there is anyone that I would be attracted to it would be a certain beautiful blonde, not some skinny, small little woman
child. She is like family to me, Chantal. I could never want her like that.”
The remembered words tore a fresh wound into Nadia. She could never make Renee understand just how hurt she had been by those offhand words. This was her burden to bear. She would keep those spiteful words and their meaning locked up tight inside her where they would never harm her again. She would move past this, just like she had moved past everything else in life that hurt her.
***
“Tell me that you are joking,” Renee said Thursday afternoon as they sat in Nadia’s office going over the guest list for the gala event in Dallas that would take place one week from Saturday. The month of June was always busy.
“I’m telling you exactly what I heard from Donavan’s secretary.” Thank God Natalie was a soft hearted woman; otherwise, Nadia would have found out herself that Donavan planned on going to the gala event even as he knew she would be there. Nadia drew comfort knowing that he couldn’t come within 100 feet of her. But still, something inside of her rankled; she didn’t trust him one bit.
“That son of a bitch is doing this just to scare you. That’s all,” Renee said with assurance.
“Well, he is doing a bang up job about it,” Nadia muttered, being honest.
“Ah honey, don’t worry, you always have security at events like these and this gala has been one of your babies from the get go. Don’t you dare let scum like Donavan ruin that, and,” Renee’s eyebrows rose with implication, “you still have that restraining order.”
“I won’t, believe me, but I’ll just have to put on a brave front and not let his attendance bother me,” She said as she moved some paperwork around her desk. “And like you said, there still is the restraining order.” Finding what she was looking for, she waved the paper around like the winner of a contest. Then she caught the mischievous look on Renee’s face.
Her Druid Desire (The Amber Druid Series) Page 13
